I could barely speak. “As if I could possibly forget.”
He slid his finger deeper, and his voice became a low growl. “Good.”
Chapter 10
My dress was sea green, the color of our porgie paradise, and when I walked into the club his gaze drew to me as if by a magnet. He soaked me in for a long moment, as if my presence would sustain him like oxygen. And then his gaze firmed, and he took in a deep breath. He dropped his eyes, his fingers deliberately taking the steps to tune his guitar.
My heart thundered against my chest as I made my way over to the table on the side of the stage. If he could do this, then I could as well. He was mine, I was his, and in a few short months we would be able to begin our life together. Until then, I was blessed by being able to see him – even if at a distance – for our few remaining days.
There were thousands of couples in the military striving daily to maintain long distance relationships while dealing with the stress of battle zones and other disasters. Those pairs had it infinitely worse off than I did. I knew my man was in little peril, and he would come home to me. I was sure we could touch base with email and phone calls … maybe even a Skype session or two.
A smile danced on my lips, and my body warmed at the thought of what those might entail.
Kayla bounced over to me, her electric blue dress practically tattooed on her body. She plunked a flute of Champagne in front of me, then drank down half of her own. “Sven’s going to take me to a club onshore once the gig is over,” she announced. “We’ll finally get to dance together! Not that I mind watching him sing, of course, but sometimes I just want to touch him!”
She grinned at me. “You and Evan should come! I hear sometimes the officers even show up, to let loose some steam.”
I took a sip of my Champagne. Evan needed to keep our relationship low key. He had asked for us to stay distant from this point forward. The last thing he’d want was for me to tag along to party and dance where the ship’s officers were present.
For a moment a flash of envy zapped through me. Kayla didn’t even realize how lucky she was, being able to enjoy Sven so openly. Sven’s years of tenure had earned him privileges that Evan could only dream of.
I pushed the thoughts away. Sven might have that one perk – but when Kayla stepped off the ship, Sven would move on. He would find another groupie, sail another tour, and be lost.
My Evan was coming home to me.
I smiled. I could endure anything, last through any short term loss, to reach that happy ending.
I toasted to Kayla. “You two will have a blast,” I assured her. “I think I’ll sleep in tonight. Tomorrow afternoon we leave Bermuda, and I want to be able to spend as much time as possible snorkeling before we sail for home.”
Her eyes danced. “You and those fish,” she teased. “I think you were a mermaid in another life, with all that swimming you do.”
There was movement on stage, and we both turned. Sven stepped up to the microphone, wearing a Boston Red Sox jersey over jeans. His voice billowed across the club, rich and resonate. “Who’s ready to dance!”
The room shook with the resounding cheers.
The drum kicked in, and Sven’s voice snapped out the lyrics from Maroon 5’s Love Somebody.
I looked up at the stage, and Evan’s eyes were right on mine. His fingers moved, his left hand pressed in the chords, and through the music he was connected to me. Connected in a way that nothing would sever.
Kayla grabbed my hand. “C’mon!”
We danced, and danced, and I knew in my very core that everything would be all right. Evan’s music moved through me, coursed through my soul. If for now this was all we could have, that would be enough. If it was just his music, his voice, and his connection which sustained me until he came home to me, I would treasure what we had. So many had far less than us.
The evening spun by, wrapped in cotton candy bliss, and by the end I didn’t mind when Kayla ran up to Sven, when he wrapped her in a hug right there for the entire world to see. I turned to Evan and I knew. I knew from the look in his eyes that what we had would stand the test. It would endure the separation, and when he came home to me, it would sustain for a lifetime.
The corner of his mouth turned up in acknowledgement, his gaze holding mine for a long, meaningful moment. Then he looked down, drawing open his case and beginning his take-down.
I turned and left the club, moving quickly back to my room. I was riding the euphoric high, and I wanted to get to safety while I was still firmly within its grips. I didn’t want to tempt myself, not give myself the opportunity to hang around with Evan after their equipment was packed up, to somehow get drawn out by Kayla on her nighttime escapade. I knew this was important to Evan, to maintain our distance, and I would do everything in my power to support him. It was all he asked of me until he came home to me.
Came home to us.
The moment I got into the cabin I put on my pajamas, further buffering me from any temptation. I grabbed up my notebook, climbed into bed, and decided to journal about everything that had happened. Who knew, perhaps in years in the future I would treasure this – the record of our very first days together.
To my surprise the words flowed, expanded, and I was even including short rhyming phrases to go with the images. That first time we talked, above the ship’s wake. The soul-brightening delight of our first encounter with the silver porgies. The rich brilliance of our making love on the beach.
I was swept away by how easily the phrases streamed from the pen. I’d always craved being a poet, but I never had thought the words were in there. I seemed better at carefully noting figures and symbols in a grid. But somehow something had become unlocked, released, and the pages turned …
Brrrrring!
I looked at my phone in surprise. I’d turned it back on when we reached Bermuda, just in case there was some sort of family emergency. My heart pounded against my chest. Was something wrong with my mom or dad?
I snatched up the phone, barely glancing at it. “Yes?”
Kayla’s voice was a long slur. “Ammranda?”
I held the phone back, glancing at the time on it. Four a.m. How had it gotten that late?
I brought the unit back to my ear. “Kayla? Where are you?”
“I’m at the club. I can’t find Sven.” Confusion echoed in every word. “‘Man-dah, I don’t know …”
“All right, all right,” I reassured her. Clearly the woman could barely walk. “I’ll be right there. Where are you?”
“Hammerhead,” she mumbled.
“Stay put. I’ll find you.” I hung up and did a quick search on my phone. Thank God, it was only a short distance from the ship. I tossed on sweats and a t-shirt, then headed on out.
The streets were quiet under the glowing moonlight; it was only a few minutes before I came up to the bar. It was packed with stumbling, loud-talking tourists. I imagined the passengers were getting as much drinking as possible in on this bucolic island before we headed out tomorrow afternoon.
An electric blue shape shone out from the bar, and I made my way through to it.
Kayla’s eyes were barely open. She blinked blearily at me as I approached. “There you are, ‘Mand. Thought you forgot about me.”
“I came as quickly as I could,” I promised. “Let’s get you home and in bed.” The corner of my mouth quirked up into a smile. “You’re going to regret this in the morning, you know.”
She pressed a hand to her head. “I regret it already,” she grumbled. “Can’t believe Sven bailed on me. Phone rang, and he was off.”
I tucked my shoulder under her arm. “Yeah, well, we can worry about that tomorrow, hun. Right now, it’s bed time for you.”
I eased her off the seat, she groaned, and her weight came down on me. I snugged my arm, drawing her up, turning …
Evan.
I blinked. Evan was there, at a back table, sitting with a lanky woman with short, spiky, scarlet hair. She was leaning close
to him, her eyes glowing with interest, and her hand stroked along his arm.
I stumbled, and Kayla groaned. “God, ‘Mand, which of us has been drinking?”
My mouth went dry. The woman’s head went next to Evan’s ear, and she whispered something into it. Her hand ruffled through his hair – that thick hair that I knew so well, and when she sat back her body radiated sexuality.
He drew his gaze down her, then nodded.
My stomach lurched, and I turned with Kayla, pushing my way through the noisy crowd to the front door. The cool air of the dark night was crisp and fragrant with the scent from the row of large, crimson hibiscus plants growing along the street. I stood for a moment, breathing it in, fighting to hold back the queasiness.
Kayla groaned as if she were having stomach issues of her own.
I snapped into focus. I had to get her home. I could worry about anything else after I took care of her – but Kayla needed my help.
She had trouble with the one-foot-after-another part of walking, and she faded out on me several times. At long last we were through the customs building, enduring the amused glance of the portly matron who was checking IDs. The ship’s security officer let us go through the checkpoint together, undoubtedly deciding that Kayla might not be able to manage it on her own.
By the time we reached our room, I was simply grateful that Kayla had not retched along the way. Score one point for her bartender-trained constitution. I eased her onto her bed and pulled off her high heels. She burrowed her head into her pillow, and I turned down the lights.
Her voice grumbled out from the thick white pillow. “Gotta find Sven. Tell him I’m ok. He’s in room 222.”
“He’s the one who left you,” I pointed out, brushing her hair back. “We can tell him in the morning.”
“Gotta tell him,” she insisted. “222. Gotta … Scmotta …” her pleas faded into incomprehensibility. In a moment she was snoring with the power of a force five hurricane.
I sat on my bed, the initial stress of getting Kayla safely home fading under the room-shattering snores. Twists of emotion wrenched through me with each shuddering inhale and exhale, as the vision of Evan in the woman’s grasp flared into vivid life. Had that been heated interest in his eyes? He’d refused to make love to me in the massage room. Had it been because he was saving himself for another woman? He’d already been preparing to move on?
Kayla’s next snore tore my eardrums into tattered remnants.
I couldn’t take it any more.
I stood and left the room, striding down the hallway to the stairwell.
I stopped there, staring at the two flights, one going up, the other down. I knew I should head up to the decks, to find a lounge chair to sprawl on for an hour or two, until I was so exhausted that I would fall asleep immediately despite Kayla’s furious wind tunnel effect. I should go up to the theater, or by the pool, or maybe even to the library, so I could …
My feet began their descent.
My heart pounded against my ribs as I moved down to the crew deck. I’d never been to this part of the ship. I didn’t belong here. And Evan had asked me to stay away. But I had to know. Maybe I’d been mistaken about what I’d seen. Surely nobody would see me down here at this hour of the morning. I’d just check in, let Sven know she was all right, get reassurance from Evan, and then head back to my room. Kayla would be happy. I’d be happy. The world would resume spinning in its proper orbit.
Music echoed from the hall before me; one of the doors was open a crack. The lyrics blasted out in hard-edged rhythm, one I knew well. Life in the Fast Lane.
I chuckled as I approached the door. Apparently the band was taking their bachelor living seriously. There was the tail end of a bathrobe’s belt trailing out of the doorway, and that’s what the door had caught on. Looking in the thin gap, I could see dirty socks, crumpled magazines, stained t-shirts, plates of half-eaten food, and piles of items too mixed to name. There were a pair of bunk beds on each side. A black speaker amp stood in the center of the room as a makeshift table, with a square of glass on top serving as its counter.
I could see the two left-hand bunks more clearly from my angle. Tom, his bald head shining in the cabin’s lights, had a pair of drumsticks in his hand and was rapping the wall in time with the music. I gave a silent prayer to whoever it was who had the room next to theirs. Either they worked the night shift, or they had the patience of a saint. Above Tom, Hank was stretched out on the upper bunk, his gaze locked on the TV screen. He spoke to the other side of the room. “We’ve got some rain coming in, but it looks like perfect weather for next weekend.”
Sven stepped into the center of the room from the right, carrying a wrapped package the size of a loaf of bread. He set it down onto the glass counter. “Excellent. We’ve only got that one final run between Boston and Bermuda, and then we do our repositioning cruise down to New Orleans. So we want to make these count.”
I blinked. I should have remembered that, of course, but in all the excitement I hadn’t even given it thought. I’d assumed, foolishly of course, that Evan would be coming back and forth to Boston until he finished his tour. But he wouldn’t. Cold weather was about to set in, and the ship would be heading south for the winter, just like the Canada geese and hummingbirds.
The thought of him being even further away from me sent a chill through my soul.
Tom did a roll with the drumsticks. “Two weeks. Is that enough time to hook Kayla?”
My brow creased in confusion.
Sven pulled a knife from his back pocket and popped it open. He cut a line down the top of the package and slid the knife into it, coming out with a white powder.
My heart stopped.
Sven eyed the powder with a practiced eye. “Yeah, I’ve almost got her on board. Hell, the fool girl was talking about signing on, so she could bartend on ship while we did our southern run!” He laughed. “But I convinced her that it’s better if she stays put in Boston.”
He grinned over at Tom. “God, the connections she has. She has politicians, bankers, you name it, all coming and going out of that bar of hers.” His eyes lit up. “But, best of all, she’s got a number of school administrators and teachers. Once we turn her, she can hook in with a few of them. Think of the potential. If we can get into a school, the sky’s the limit.”
I leaned against the door frame. I could not take it in. One thought rang through my head, like a claxon bell sounding out an alarm. I had to find Evan, to warn him. He would know what to do. He would know who to tell, so we could shut these criminals down, stop them before they could –
Sven put his knife down on top of the package. “Looks like good stuff. Bring over the gear, and let’s give it a try.”
There was a soft clattering noise.
Evan stepped into the middle of the room, carrying needles, rubber strips, and a few other items I couldn’t make out, because suddenly my eyes were streaming tears.
My breath came out of me in a soft cry.
Evan’s eyes flicked up in surprise.
For a single, heart-wrenching moment, our gazes locked.
I fled.
Chapter 11
I was freezing cold, soaked to the bone, curled up in a tiny ball, and hard metal pressed in on me from two sides.
I tried to blink my eyes awake, but they were glued shut. My arms were too sore to move, so it took a while before I could gather the strength to pry my lids apart, to make sense of what had happened.
Heavy droplets of rain were pounding down all around me, pummeling the deck of the ship. The thick, grey clouds were softly glowing, so it wasn’t night, but I was hard pressed to determine what time of day it was. I was in amongst some sort of machinery, on an upper deck of the ship, judging from my elevated view of the shoreline.
I wearily pushed myself to sitting. I was tucked in beneath something to do with the smokestack, for I saw now that it towered high above me. My mouth tasted sour, and snippets from last night trickled into my awareness.r />
Blink.
I was racing along the deck in the dark, fleeing as if the very hounds of hell were at my heels.
Blink.
I was tucked in a doorway as the heavens burst loose, drenching the world in a steady curtain of rain.
Blink.
I was staggered on my knees near the jogging track, retching out anything I had eaten for the entire voyage. The deluge washed it all away, removed any trace, as if it had never existed.
Blink.
I was back at the beginning again, standing at the cabin door, caught in Evan’s gaze …
The tears came again, streaming down my face, an echo of the world around me. A distant part of me wondered that I had any tears left. Somehow I was both wrung dry and also soaked to the bone. Shivers wracked me, and I wrapped my arms tighter around my body.
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