Hartstrings: A Jaded Regret Novel (Jaded Regret Series Book 3)

by L. L. Collins

  I tried to glance away, embarrassed, but Tanner turned my chin gently back toward him. “Don’t do that, Mac. This isn’t your fault.”

  You know I wouldn’t have to do this to you if you didn’t deserve it. Andrew’s voice resounded in my head.

  “I told him…d-during.”

  “And he didn’t stop?”

  I looked down at my flat stomach, and I knew. There would be no baby because Andrew made sure of that. “No. In fact, after that, he began targeting my stomach. He kicked me hard, so many times.”

  “Motherfucking son of a bitch.” Tanner stood and paced back and forth at the side of my bed. He ran his hands through his short hair. After watching him for a moment, he stopped, and his voice softened. “Mac, I’m so sorry. The baby didn’t survive.”

  I knew it; I could feel it. But hearing the words out of his mouth felt like Andrew hit me again, another sucker punch to the gut. More tears ran like rapids down my cheeks and to my neck, eventually falling onto to the pillow behind me.

  Tanner leaned over and wiped my tears away with his thumbs, watching me but saying nothing. “Please, Mac. End this now. Tell them it wasn’t a home invasion. Tell them. I’ll keep you safe, I promise. I’ll pull out every resource I have to throw the book at this asshole. Don’t go back to him. Not this time. I’m afraid—” He broke off and glanced away, his throat working. “I’m afraid next time you won’t survive it. He’s clearly escalating.”

  “He found out about you.” My voice was barely a whisper. Tanner’s eyebrows lifted, but he waited for me to continue. “He saw the text message on my phone this morning. That—coupled with the fact that I went to the drug store to find out if I was pregnant or not—and he assumed that I left the house to be with you. He thought I was cheating on him with you, and that the baby was more than likely yours.”

  I saw the emotions passing through Tanner’s crystal blue eyes as he registered my words. Shock, surprise, anger, possessiveness, and something else I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

  “This is my fault.” Tanner spoke through his teeth, his jaw so tight I could see every muscle.

  “Tanner.” He wrapped his hand around my wrist, and we stared at each other, both of us processing this information. “It’s not your fault.”

  “If I hadn’t sent you a text…”

  “Then it would’ve been another time. I chose to keep talking to you. I knew it could backfire on me. Tanner, you’re the first friend I’ve had in a long time. Look. You’re the only one here. Not even the man that supposedly loves me is here, probably because he’s making sure the cops get every detail right of his sordid story. He cares more about his reputation than the woman he loves.”

  “Then why do you keep going back? If you know this, why, Mac? You’re beautiful, talented, and successful. Why put yourself through this?”

  I wanted to tell him everything, how I wasn’t anything without Andrew, how if I left him he would ruin not only me but my father, how no one would want me because I was damaged goods, but this wasn’t the place.

  The door opened, and a doctor walked in, ending our conversation. Tanner stood and shook hands with the doctor as he approached the bed.

  “Good to see you awake, Ms. Shepard. How’s the pain?”

  I began to cry again as I thought of the baby I would never hold. The rest would heal, and I would move on from it. That Andrew killed my baby—our baby—was something I couldn’t get past.

  “Okay.”

  “Would you mind stepping out Mr. Hart? I need to check her abdomen.”

  Tanner glanced over at me, and I nodded. “I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.”

  If you need me. When was the last time Andrew said that to me?

  * * *

  The doctor listened to my lungs and pressed gently—though it still hurt like hell—on my abdomen. He checked my cuts and bruises, and I watched him. Tanner’s words flew like Frisbees through my head. Tell him.

  “You were lucky, Ms. Shepard.” The doctor stood up and gave me a small smile. “I know it doesn’t feel like that, but with the events that occurred, it could’ve been much worse.”

  Tell him. Much worse? I lost my baby. I knew for a whole hour that I was going to be a mom, and Andrew took it away from me.

  “We’re going to monitor you for the next few hours, but more than likely we’ll move you to a regular room later today.” He indicated outside the door, where I could see Tanner’s shadow still standing there. He meant what he said that he wasn’t leaving me. “Mr. Hart is your…friend?” He said it like he didn’t believe I could be friends with him. I guessed I understood why. Tanner’s reputation preceded him.

  I nodded. “Yes. He’s a friend of mine.” The words were there, right there on the tip of my tongue. It wasn’t a home invasion. “C-could you ask him to come in here? I want to tell you something.” Fear gripped my chest so quickly I gasped. Why did you say that, Mackenzie? You can’t do this. You know Andrew isn’t bluffing.

  But Tanner said he would help me. He has connections too, right?

  Within seconds Tanner was at my side again, a question in his eyes. He would find out soon enough. The doctor watched both of us expectedly.

  “Do you know what happened to me?” My voice shook and my lungs tightened, like I was suffocating. My heart pounded in my chest, making me feel my heartbeat in my temples.

  Dr. Whitfield regarded Tanner for a moment and then turned his attention back to me. “Yes, I know. Someone broke into your house.”

  I shook my head and tears formed again. Tanner, understanding what was about to happen, stepped up, held my hand, and squeezed it slightly, encouraging me. This was it. Step one in taking back my life. I had to do it. I could do it. Right?

  “My boyfriend beat me. Andrew Byron did this.” Once the words were out in the room, it felt like each one of them sucked a portion of the remaining oxygen in my lungs. I clutched my chest, the feeling overtaking me.

  Dr. Whitfield froze. “Excuse me? You’re saying that…”

  Tanner’s jaw clenched again, and I knew he wanted to jump in. But he didn’t, and I was glad. I had to do this.

  “This isn’t the first time this has happened, though it was the worst. He also purposely kicked me in the stomach to kill our baby.” I couldn’t believe I said it. As he registered the facts, his expression changed. Tanner gave me a small nod of approval. My whole body began to shake with the adrenaline of admitting that sordid fact about my life.

  I did it. I couldn’t freaking believe it.

  “Would you mind calling Officer Ragland here? He was here last night and will help us in filing charges against Mr. Byron.” Tanner spoke up. “I’ve witnessed him harming her in the past and will back up her claims.”

  “We take this very seriously,” Dr. Whitfield finally said. “Do you think Mr. Byron could come here and try to harm you?”

  “Once he finds out she’s told the truth, that is possible,” Tanner answered for me, but that was okay. He was right. “We’ll be filing a restraining order against him as well, as soon as the police arrive. It’s imperative you only call Office Ragland, though, because Mr. Byron is an officer, and many of them have his back.”

  Dr. Whitfield blew out a breath. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Shepard. Your care plan changes due to that information. We’ll need to document your injuries with photos once Officer Ragland is here.” He turned to Tanner. “I’ll have my nurse call him directly. Do you have his number? If there’s two things I detest, it’s an abuser and a dirty cop.”

  Tanner handed him the card. “Thank you, doctor.”

  “Until he gets here, I’m assigning security at your door. No one will be allowed in without clearing it through the staff, including housekeeping. For your protection.”

  I almost felt silly having him be so cautious. Andrew wasn’t going to come here and do anything to me. There wasn’t any way for him to get away with it if he had an audience. But, I’d never stood up to him before. Was the
re any way to know what he would do?

  “Thank you.” I still shook from head to toe, despite trying to stop it. The doctor glanced back at me one more time.

  “You did the right thing.” He turned to Tanner and shook his hand. “You’ll be there for her during this?”

  Tanner nodded. “Every step.”

  * * *

  I wrung the sheets with my good hand as I watched him write down every word I said. Officer Ragland and his partner wrapped up my interview. Tanner was outside the room. Since he would undergo an interview too, he couldn’t hear what I said. The nurses stripped me down and took pictures to put with my file. It was the most mortifying experience of my life, and I second guessed my decision a million times in that five-minute period.

  Of course, Tanner wasn’t there when Andrew hurt me this time, so it was my word against his. However, they were going to bring Andrew in for questioning and would take my request for a restraining order in front of a judge.

  “I’m going to get him, Mackenzie.” Officer Ragland, whose first name was Brandon, reassured me. His partner was a beautiful young woman with short brown hair and wide eyes. Her name was Erica Switzer, and she also wanted to see him brought to justice.

  A few hours ago, they moved me to a regular room. A security guard was positioned outside my room as promised. Andrew hadn’t tried to visit. What was he doing? He surely wasn’t playing the concerned boyfriend bit very well this time. Though I was sure he’d come up with some story about why he hadn’t been to visit me.

  “I appreciate that. I want…out. I want to live my life.” As I said the words, I knew I had to call my dad. He had to know what Andrew threatened to do if I left him. I could see Tanner standing with the security officer outside the door.

  Tanner wanted me to go back home with him.

  I knew from experience Andrew wouldn’t let my story stop him from spinning his tales, and it was likely he wouldn’t have any repercussions from this. Then what would he do? More than likely, come after me.

  I would put Tanner in danger by being with him. Andrew was powerful and knew people who’d do anything for him.

  I sighed, fear coiling in my gut. This was exactly why I didn’t do this before now. There was no way out without involving everyone else I cared about.

  I was better off retracting my story and going back to him.

  “We’ll be in touch soon. I heard them say they may release you in the next two days. Let’s talk for sure before then to see what you need to do once you’re out of here.”

  “Tanner wants me to go across the state with him.” The two officers nodded.

  “Not a bad idea,” Erica said, her gaze following to where Tanner stood. I figured she more than likely had a crush on Tanner, too. I saw the double-take she did when they first arrived, and she figured out who he was. I couldn’t blame her. The entire country had a thing for Tanner. Or Johnny. Or Beau. Or Bex. “Jaded Regret has top notch security, plus the resources to keep you safe.”

  “He’ll come after me,” I whispered.

  Brandon rested his hand on her arm. “We’ll be prepared for when he does.”

  * * *

  I sat on the edge of the bed, my ribs aching and my heart pounding. I was doing it. I was about to leave this hospital with Tanner Hart and not look back.

  Since being admitted two days ago, Tanner had called his band and told them about everything that had gone on. I was surprised to find out he had confided in Bex about me before this happened. I called my dad and he came to visit, despite still being in denial that Andrew wasn’t the person he thought he was. He was interviewed by the police but wasn’t much help. He never saw Andrew hurt me. He didn’t want me to go back with Tanner, but I wasn’t giving him a choice. I was doing what I thought was right for once.

  By some miracle of God, the press hadn’t figured out that Tanner was here. Which was crazy because the hospital staff hadn’t been shy about asking him to sign things. I think he secretly loved it.

  He slept next to my bed every night. If you wanted to call it sleep. He snapped up at any noise, despite the officer outside my room. Brandon and Erica let us know yesterday that Andrew seemed to be missing, so an APB was put out for him.

  He wasn’t getting away this time. He must’ve known he crossed the line and would pay for it. I would be long gone before he came back to face the music for his actions. The restraining order was granted, though without Andrew to serve it to, it was useless.

  “Are you okay?” Tanner held the bag with my few belongings in it. Erica brought me a pair of jeans, a soft T-shirt, and shoes to wear. Many of my other belongings—the ones that weren’t trashed in our “home invasion”—were in Tanner’s car.

  He held out his hand to assist me up from the bed and into the waiting wheelchair. I winced, the pain in my ribs and abdomen still raw. With one cast on my arm and one on my ankle, plus the other injuries, the wheelchair would be my mode of transportation for a while. The nurse and doctor both gave me instructions on follow-up over in Tanner’s hometown, as well as numbers of some of their colleagues. Dr. Whitfield had put his hand on my shoulder and encouraged me to find a support group to help me move on from this.

  Sweat dotted my forehead from the exertion. I put my hand on my abdomen as had become routine over the last few days. It was almost like I could still feel my baby there, but I knew better. The ache in my lower stomach reminded me that he or she was gone before given a chance to have a life. I hated Andrew for not giving me the choice to have my baby myself. Despite that he or she was part of him, it was also part of me. A part I would never get back. While there was no permanent damage, that didn’t mean the emotional scars would ever go away.

  Tanner hung my bag on the back of my chair and pushed me out of the room. The officer followed us down the corridor and to the back of the hospital. They let us use the employee entrance as to not attract attention.

  The door opened, and I spotted Tanner’s sports car. This ought to be fun to get into. Just then a police cruiser pulled up behind him and my stomach free fell into my feet. No. Before the panic could set in, I saw Brandon and Erica step out of the car.

  I breathed out in relief.

  “They’re escorting us home,” Tanner explained.

  My eyes welled with tears as the three of them surrounded me. Tanner helped me to the car and wrapped my seatbelt across my shoulder.

  “Thank you for doing this,” Tanner said to them.

  “Our pleasure. Until we find Andrew, we don’t feel safe letting you travel alone. We’ll follow behind you, and you call either of us if you need to stop or see anything suspicious. We have friends with the highway patrol that will be with us, too.”

  I settled back in the seat as Tanner pulled out of the hospital parking lot. Once he got onto the highway, I breathed out a sigh of relief.

  He glanced over at me. “Are you okay?”

  What a loaded question. I wasn’t sure what that answer was. “I’m not sure.”

  But when his hand covered mine, and he started to caress my palm with his thumb, I thought maybe I was okay.

  Chapter Eleven

  Tanner

  Mackenzie was asleep in the guest room, but I couldn’t stop checking on her. Thankfully, the ride home was uneventful and having Brandon and Erica follow us made me feel a lot better. The moment we got here she passed out, the last few days taking a toll on her. I knew she felt destroyed over the baby, but she tried to seem tough. If only she knew she didn’t have to be tough with me.

  She did it. I couldn’t believe Mackenzie finally had enough guts to tell the truth, but she did. I was so proud of her. I knew, however, that it was the first step. Her inclination would be to go back to him, especially if he contacted her. I didn’t believe his disappearance for a second. He waited for the right opportunity to get to her. I knew he wasn’t stupid; in fact, I would bet money he knew where she was at this very second.

  I walked to the front windows of my house and peered out.
Not only was AJ stationed outside my house in his blacked-out truck, but an officer parked across the street. I lived in a gated, high-level security neighborhood, but I didn’t put anything past Andrew.

  Not anymore.

  I knew he was a piece of shit since the second I saw him, but he killed Mac’s baby. Their baby. He almost killed her. He threatened her and her family. And now I had her here with me, and he already thought we were sleeping together.

  I wanted to laugh at how wrong he was, but I guessed I couldn’t blame him for assuming that. She was gorgeous, and I had a reputation.

  I wasn’t surprised when minutes later two blacked-out SUV’s pulled into my driveway. I expected them. The fact that they gave us two hours amazed me. Beau, April, Natalie, Bex, and Johnny piled out, followed by our security. AJ stepped out of his truck and followed them to the front door.

  I guessed Mac was about to meet Jaded Regret.

  I met them at the door before they could knock and they stepped inside. The second I shut the door, Bex started.

  “Is she okay?”

  I turned and walked to my large sectional and settled myself against the cushion, waiting. They followed. Bex sat across from me in the wing chair.

  “She’s asleep.”

  Bex nodded. “But is she okay?”

  “She will be if I can keep this asshole away from her.”

  “Bex filled us in a little,” April spoke up. “So you met her at the hotel when the tour first started?”

  I nodded. “Yes. I heard a commotion, so I intervened. Her long-term boyfriend abuses her. Long story short, we became friends, and I was determined to get her away from him. We talked every day. Her boyfriend found out about it, and this was the result.” They didn’t need to know why this was so important to me; all they needed to know was that we had to help her not go back to him.

  “And you’re just friends?” Johnny tapped his fingers on his legs; his gaze fixated on me. I didn’t mind his question. I knew what it seemed like.