Hartstrings: A Jaded Regret Novel (Jaded Regret Series Book 3)

by L. L. Collins

The man was sinful.

  No wonder women fell at his feet and begged for him to spend the night with them. No wonder they had blogs and social media groups dedicated to the size of his manhood.

  If my life were different, maybe I’d join them, I thought. But my life was too complicated to be carefree like that.

  Normally their sets were about an hour and a half with a short intermission for them to change and rehydrate. But they always treated their local fans with a longer show, so when two hours passed, and they were still jumping around the stage, I knew I couldn’t wait anymore.

  I leaned over to April and put my lips near her ear so she could try to hear me. “Can I use the restroom do you think? I tried to wait, but…”

  She indicated AJ, and I flushed. Of course, I had to take the beefy man. I tapped him and mouthed “restroom” and he grabbed my arm, helping me as we made our way backstage.

  My ears rang as the noise from the concert dulled once we were backstage.

  “Use the one in the band’s dressing room.” AJ unlocked the door and turned, crossing his arms and looking both ways down the hallway.

  I shut the door behind me and hurried into the restroom. I knew the show was about over, and I wanted to make sure I saw as much as I could. Not that they weren’t epic before, but they solidified their position as my favorite band. They had such great chemistry together.

  I finished quickly and hobbled out of the bathroom door. I made my way to the dressing room door, stopping only to check my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were bright, and my cheeks flushed. I looked…happy. The bruises were faded enough to be able to cover them with makeup now. If it weren’t for my two casts, you wouldn’t know I was a woman on the run from her abusive boyfriend.

  Don’t think about him tonight, I told myself. I stepped back from the mirror and walked to the door. Opening it, I was about to tell AJ I was ready when the words died on my lips.

  Andrew stood, his arms crossed and his foot resting against the wall opposite where I was standing. He wore his police uniform, but I noticed his badge didn’t say Byron like it usually did. It said, Williams. He was here. My pulse quickened, and my heart crashed against my ribs. Instantly my stomach began aching at the memory of his assault. My hands shook as I lifted them, opening and closing my mouth to try to reason with him but nothing coming out. He appeared calm, but I knew he was anything but. It was restrained rage at it’s finest, right here in front of me.

  Andrew was here. AJ was not. Tanner played on the stage. And I was alone with him.

  His gaze scanned my appearance, stopping on the T-shirt I wore.

  “Well, well, well. What do we have here? The whore is wearing her boyfriend’s shirt. This was so easy to find you. You forget that I read your text message. It didn’t take much research for me to figure out where you would go. But I underestimated your new boyfriend. A restraining order, huh? Telling the police it wasn’t a home invasion? Wow, you got some balls all of a sudden. I guess you forgot about your dear old dad, huh?”

  “How the hell did you get in here?”

  Andrew stepped away from the wall, and I backed up, hitting the wall with nowhere to go. I heard the band still playing, and I knew it would be too late. Whatever Andrew was here to do, he would do it before they ever came back here.

  And what did he do with AJ? I was afraid to look away from Andrew to see if he was slouched on the ground somewhere or something.

  “That mouth.” Andrew stopped, his toes touching mine and his frame towering over me. His nostrils flared. “Someone made you think you could talk back to me. Does Tanner enjoy your back talk? He hasn’t put you in your place yet?” He slammed his hand next to my head on the wall, and I whimpered, my knees almost giving way. “You’re going to pay for what you’ve done. You didn’t expect me to slink away with my tail between my legs while you tell lies to the police about me, did you?”

  “It-It’s not lies.” I jutted my chin out, refusing to back down to him. Not this time. “You hurt me, Andrew. You’ve hurt me for years.”

  Andrew spat in my face. I felt it hit my cheek and trail down my chin until it dripped onto the ground. “I only did what I had to do. You made me do it. After everything I’ve done for you.”

  I had to keep him talking until they stopped playing. If Tanner, Johnny, and Beau walked back here, they’d never let this continue. Andrew would get arrested, and this would all be over.

  “You’re right.” My voice sounded way braver than I felt. A wave of nausea rolled through my stomach, and a trickle of sweat dripped down my back. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans to keep Andrew from seeing them shake. “You’ve done so much for me, Andrew. This is all my fault.”

  “You got that damn right.” I could feel his breath against my lips, and it made my stomach turn. “Is his dick better than mine?”

  I wanted to close my eyes against the proximity of him, but I refused to let myself. “N-no, Andrew. You’re the best lover. Always the best.”

  He reached his hand down and cupped me on the outside of my jeans. “That’s fucking right. You’re nothing without me, Kenz. I’ll ruin you and your dad if you don’t drop the charges and the ridiculous restraining order. Right. Now. You get on the phone to that damn cop Ragland who thinks he’s going to bring me down, and you tell him you lied. Tell him I’m a great boyfriend, and you were just mad at me. Tell him anything and make him believe it. You know, like you did when you were talking to Tanner the whole time and lying about it. When you slept with him the night you met him—with me down the hall—and then tried to make me think that baby was mine. Convenient, huh? Guess you figured the rocker lifestyle wouldn’t work for your bastard child, so you would pass it off as mine, right?”

  “It was yours, Andrew.” I slid my phone out of my pocket, staring down at the screen. The fans screamed “encore, encore,” and I prayed the band wouldn’t listen. I needed Tanner, and now. I unlocked the screen. My hands shook so violently that it took me three tries to get the call screen up. I hit Brandon Ragland’s name and went to lift the phone to my ear.

  Without warning my head snapped back and cracked against the concrete. My phone clattered to the ground from the force of the shove. I whimpered and slouched to the ground, holding my head. The room spun, and I immediately felt nauseous.

  “Stop fucking lying to me.” Andrew’s face was centimeters from mine. “And don’t think you’re going to get on that phone and do something stupid.”

  I brought my hand back from behind my head and saw blood. Great. That’s all I needed was one more injury. “I-I was going to call Officer Ragland.”

  Andrew’s lips curled up, and he rocked back on his heels, purposely leaning on the leg where I had the cast. I wriggled, trying to get free, but he pinned me with his much heavier body.

  “Please Andrew,” I begged. He hated when I begged, but I had to do something. The sounds of Jaded Regret’s hit song, “Not Broken Anymore,” resounded through the empty hallway. I wasn’t sure I would be able to listen to that song ever again without thinking of this exact moment. Where the hell was AJ? What about anyone else from their security team?

  It made sense that most of them were out surrounding the stage, but it didn’t explain where AJ went. And why didn’t April realize I hadn’t come back? Please, Tanner, I thought. Please get back here soon.

  The crowd erupted in cheers, and I almost cried with relief. Tanner would come back any time now. Andrew glanced down the hall, more than likely realizing the same thing. “You’re coming with me.” He yanked me up by the arm and began to lead me away from the stage.

  “N-no. Leave me alone, Andrew. We’re done. I’m not doing this with you anymore.”

  He stopped so fast I stumbled and had to grab onto him to keep from falling. He took the opportunity to twist my arm until I cried out. “You aren’t done with me. You don’t get to decide that, Kenz. Your new boyfriend has made you too brave. That’s okay, I’ll get you right back into shape the second we g
et home, and you drop all this foolishness.”

  He stepped forward and wrenched me with him, his fingers digging into my upper arm. I prayed to any god that might listen to make Tanner walk back there at this moment before Andrew got me out of this building.

  I feared Andrew would keep me alive only long enough to clear his name before making sure I had an unfortunate accident. He always told me he could get away with anything because of his connections. I didn’t want to find out if that was true or not.

  What would Tanner tell me to do right now? His face filled my thoughts, and I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t let him drag me out of here.

  I had to fight.

  Never, ever had I fought back with Andrew. I didn’t know if I could. But if I didn’t, he would take me back home with him and make my prior injuries feel like a walk in the park.

  I heard laughing and hollering and relief coursed through my system. They were coming backstage. Tanner would see me and stop Andrew. I stopped in my tracks, digging my heels in as much as I could against my strong boyfriend. He still gripped my arm, his nails tearing my flesh as he tried to force me to keep walking. My head pounded; every time my heart pulsed I felt it in the back of my head.

  “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll keep walking right now.” Andrew glanced down at the revolver on his hip. “You wouldn’t want me to shoot your boyfriend right in front of you.”

  “Mackenzie!” Tanner spotted me, and I knew the moment he registered who else was with me. He said something to Johnny and Beau and took off running toward me.

  “Don’t, Tanner! He has a gun!” At my admission, Andrew threw me to the ground and pulled the gun out of its holster. Everything spun and my stomach revolted, sending the contents of my stomach onto the ground in front of me. I had to get up. Tanner needed me.

  Jaded Regret security, still minus AJ, came running. They bypassed Tanner, Johnny, and Beau and drew their weapons. Shouting ensued, and it was all I could do to hold my head and keep conscious. I tried to stand but fell back to my knees.

  “Call 9-1-1!” I heard Tanner shout through all the mayhem. The security team demanded Andrew to put down his weapon, then Andrew demanded they let him go, that he was an officer.

  They didn’t care who he was. They worked for Jaded Regret, and he was backstage unauthorized and tried to take me.

  A scuffle ensued, but the pain in my head took over and I closed my eyes, willing the pain to go away. I felt someone crouch next to me and I recoiled.

  “It’s me.” Tanner’s soft voice infiltrated the craziness going on around us. “Come on. Let’s get you away from here.” He lifted me, and I cried out, the pain in my head intensifying. “I got you, Mac. I got you.”

  I cracked my eyes open just in time to see Heath take Andrew down, his gun smashing to the floor with the scuffle. I laid my head on Tanner’s shoulder and let the blackness take over.

  * * *

  I sat in yet another hospital room with Tanner by my side. This was ridiculous. My head was wrapped after I received five staples and the doctor said I had a concussion.

  It was Andrew’s parting gift to me I suppose, because he was arrested and booked for assault and breaking and entering at the very least. They couldn’t get him on violation of the restraining order because he never was served. Until now. Now they could find right where he was. Apparently, Andrew had come up to AJ inside the arena and told him there was an issue outside that he needed his help with. AJ thought nothing of it since Andrew seemed to be local police, so he followed after calling one of the other guys to tell him he’d be right back. Once they were outside, Andrew drugged him and handcuffed him to a pipe outside the arena before making his way back inside to find me. The rest of the security team thought nothing of Andrew being there, since he was a uniformed officer and told them he was part of security for the arena for the night.

  AJ was fine, thankfully, and would go home and sleep off the effects of the drug. Once he told everyone what had happened, they began scrutinizing how exactly Andrew got a uniform with another officer’s name on it and got into the arena until false pretenses. Additional charges may be filed once they found out more concrete details.

  My body shook as the memories came back. It could’ve turned out way worse than it did, that was for damn sure.

  “Hey.” Tanner wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “You’re okay. Andrew is locked up now.” He paused. “I’m sorry, Mac.”

  “Sorry? For what?”

  “I didn’t keep you safe. I promised I would keep you safe.”

  “Tanner. You couldn’t control what happened any more than I could. I should be the one telling you I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

  I nodded. “Yes, I do. If it weren't for me, you wouldn’t have this craziness surrounding you. Now the press is going to get wind of this and…”

  “Mackenzie.” Tanner’s tone of voice immediately silenced me. He used his other hand to lift my chin gently. I zeroed in on his lips as he spoke. “I don’t care about the press. Plus, if getting in the news means it gets bad press for Andrew, that’s a good thing. I want to be here for you. Don’t ever be sorry. I’m glad I got there in time…”

  My chin wobbled as I fought the tears to stay away. “Me too, Tanner. I was so scared. I tried to fight him. For the first time.”

  He smiled, the heartbreaker smile all of America loved. The one that got panties and bras thrown at him. “I know you did. I’m so proud of you, Mac. That’s a great start.”

  “I couldn’t let him take me because I knew he’d kill me. I hoped and prayed you’d stop playing and find me before it was too…” I stopped, the lump in my throat preventing me from continuing.

  “I would search to the ends of the earth for you.” Tanner brushed his lips against mine for the first time. The warmth of his lips left me feeling bereft once he pulled back. My head swam with so many thoughts and emotions, none of which were the side effects of my concussion and all of them due to the man with his arm around me.

  I didn’t know what to say to that. Why had he kissed me? Why did I want him to do it again? Our gazes locked and our fingers entwined. If I moved just a little, I could put my lips back on his.

  Did he want this, or did he feel bad for me?

  “Mackenzie Shepard?” Another doctor in yet another hospital came into the room. I was in a private room in the emergency department, thanks to my amazing friend Tanner.

  Friend.

  That’s all he could be.

  He didn’t deserve to be saddled with my issues any more than he already was, and I was one problem after another.

  Starting with the very pissed off Andrew. If he got out, which I knew he would, I had no doubt he would come straight for me.

  “Yes.”

  “We’re releasing you, but be sure someone is with you at all times over the next twenty-four hours. If you have severe vomiting or pain, please call 9-1-1.” He looked at Tanner. “If you have any trouble rousing her, please also call 9-1-1. She took a hard hit to the head.”

  “I sure will.” Tanner stood and shook the doctor’s hand. “Thanks for taking such good care of her. The nurse said you and your wife are big Jaded Regret fans. I’ll send you tickets to our next show.”

  He grinned. “That’s wonderful. Thank you, Tanner.”

  * * *

  I lay in the crook of Tanner’s arm. The television blared, but neither of us paid attention to it. After reassuring the band that I was, in fact, okay, we’d been on the couch since we got home.

  “Do you want to lay in bed? Are you in any pain?”

  I didn’t want to go to the guest room alone. “I’m okay if you are.”

  Tanner shifted. “Mac, you’ve been through a lot. I’m not okay, so I don’t know how you could be. Will you consider something for me?”

  I would consider anything for him. “Sure.”

  “Would you talk to someone? I’ll go with you if you wan
t me to. Or not.”

  “It would probably be a good idea.” I smiled at Tanner. “Thank you. For everything. I’m barely holding it together. The only thing keeping me sane, honestly and truly, is you.”

  “I want you to be able to get his brainwashing out of your head. I know what you think of yourself because of what he told you all these years. You took a huge step, standing up for yourself against him tonight. You know this isn’t over with him. And I’m here for you, every step of the way. But you have to be able to look at yourself and see who you are, not the person he told you that you are.”

  “When you look at me, I believe what you see. You make me believe it.”

  Tanner lifted my fingers and kissed them. “I see a beautiful, strong woman who has endured more than most people ever will understand. I see that you’re capable of moving on from this and having a healthy relationship. But it’s going to take time and therapy because that kind of thinking doesn’t go away because you’re not in the relationship anymore. It’s like the night you thought I was going to hit you.” I turned away, and he shifted my face back to him. “Don’t do that. There’s no reason for you to be ashamed. That’s your reaction because that’s what you thought was normal. You now know it isn’t, but you have to train yourself into believing that. You have to believe you’re better than someone who hurts you. The person you’re with should treat you like the precious jewel that you are. He should never want to hurt you, especially not with his body.”

  “I’m not going back to him.”

  Tanner nodded. “I’m glad to hear you say that.”

  “It’s over. He hurt me for the last time, and I went back to him for the last time. I have to break the mold.”

  Tanner stood and lifted me in his arms like I weighed nothing. I felt his firm chest against my arm, the muscles flexing as he carried me. “Come on. It’s been a long night. Let’s rest.”

  Before I realized it, we were at the doorway to his room.

  “Is this okay? I want to be able to watch you tonight, and the bed in the guest room is just a queen. Mine’s a king.”