by Siera Maley
Now it was my turn to look angry. “Well, good. I’m glad it was worth it for you. Because now Jessa knows we lied about dating each other, and the only reason we’re not about to get outed to the entire school is because we might have a shot at those Winter Formal crowns. Are you happy now?”
Her face fell, and she stared at me, baffled. “Wait… what?”
“You heard me.”
Her eyebrows furrowed in concern. “Jessa knows? How?”
“The same way anyone has learned anything about what’s really going on between the two of us. She saw you with Sam. And now she’s keeping it a secret because if we win those crowns and don’t reveal we’ve been pretending, it’ll be good for the other gay students at our school. The real gay ones.” I swallowed hard. “And I think she’s right. The least we can do now, after everything we’ve done, is to try to win them for LAMBDA. Maybe we can do that and then in a few years we’ll be able to convince ourselves we’re good people.”
Sarah glanced to the doorway behind me, and then down at her feet. I watched her swallow. “Okay,” she said at last, and when she looked up at me again, her expression was determined. That was relieving. She knew she’d screwed up again, and, like before, she now knew it was her job to help un-screw it up.
So this was it. It was full speed ahead in a race against Sam and Christine for the Winter Formal crowns. If we won, there was a good chance Jessa’d leave us alone. If we didn’t, we were done.
“Yeah. Let’s win this.”
Chapter Twelve
“So what exactly are we gonna do?” I asked Sarah later that day. “If we get the crowns, Jessa won’t out us, but how do we make sure we win? Do we just leave it to Jake?”
She laid prone at the end up my bed, her lower stomach exposed as she stretched out on her back. An open book was perched precariously between her hands just a foot above her face. I didn’t recognize it; she’d evidently finished the one she’d borrowed from the LGBT resource center and was now reading something new.
“I don’t know,” she mumbled, and after a pause, added, “Just relax. Since I got us into this, let me worry about it.”
“Those are two very contradictory sentences,” I pointed out. “And in case you’ve forgotten, we were in this position before, and it only worked out because we made out. I don’t really feel comfortable letting you worry about it alone given that if we don’t get those crowns you probably have no clue how to make this only mildly catastrophic for us, as opposed to, you know, majorly socially suicidal.” She lowered her book and shot me a look.
“It’s simple,” she said. “We just have to play to our strengths. We’re hot and people like us, and the only thing that’ll change people liking us is if Jessa outs us. Which you said she won’t. So as long as no one else finds out we’re frauds we’ll be fine.” Her phone buzzed in her purse, and I sat up on the other end of the bed, curious.
“That’s not Jessa, is it?”
She didn’t respond. Instead, she found her phone and pressed a few buttons, read the message, and then tossed the device back into her purse all in the span of a few seconds.
“You’re not replying?” I asked.
“It wasn’t her,” she told me, shifting her gaze to me. Suddenly, she looked serious. “Katie?”
“Mhmm?” I leaned back, abruptly feeling a little self-conscious.
“You know that if we don’t win, I’m taking the blame for all of this, right? Like, I want to. So don’t worry.”
“I’m gonna worry,” I countered. “And I’m gonna take half the blame. I went along with it.”
“Why? It was my idea. You’re practically a victim.” She glanced away, at last, and closed the book in her hands as she mumbled, “One of many.” I watched her as she let out a sigh and continued, “So Sam really is an asshole, isn’t he? Did you hear him on the phone earlier?”
“According to my mom, this is somewhat normal teenage girl drama,” I said, trying to reassure her. “I mean, maybe not the whole ‘faking gay for attention’ thing, but liking assholes? Definitely a thing.”
“You’ve never liked the wrong person,” she insisted. “Austin was harmless. Meanwhile, here I am, falling all over people who either can’t or won’t feel the same way. I’m gonna be alone forever… especially after all of this shit comes out. I can’t believe he’s dating Christine and I’m stuck being ‘the other woman’.” She sighed. “Actually, scratch me being alone forever… I’m just gonna be the other woman forever because no one thinks I’m worth being in a relationship with.”
“That’s not true, Sarah.” She arched an eyebrow at me disbelievingly, and I smiled. “There’re always guys from other schools who haven’t heard of you.”
“Bitch,” she laughed out, fumbling for a pillow and tossing it at me. I deflected it with both hands and it bounced into her lap. She rested her book on top of it even as I glanced to the cover.
“So is that why you read your cheesy happy ending romances?” I guessed. “As some sort of wish fulfillment?”
“Possibly,” she agreed, grinning. “And in case you were curious, the second one ended horribly, so this is number three.”
“Wait, that one’s gay, too?” I leaned forward to get a better look. “Is that a vampire on the cover? Really?”
“I figured the ones that looked like they’d have happy endings haven’t been ending well, so maybe if I picked something that looked dark, it’d surprise me.”
“So you picked lesbian Twilight,” I deadpanned. She laughed and hit me with a pillow again.
“God, you are so frustrating… but I’m glad you can make me laugh at a time like this.”
“We really are screwed, aren’t we?” I marveled. “We have so much work to do. I’m not quite as convinced we’ll win as Jake seems to be.”
“Just let me do the talking,” she said. I scoffed.
“No way. Like I said: Last time I let you handle things alone, we only didn’t get caught right then because you mauled me with your lips,” I reminded her wryly.
She smiled at me. “Like I said: I thought it went well.” She got a pillow to the face for that. “What!? That was a compliment!”
“Shut up,” I countered, and willed my cheeks to lose their red tint before she got a good look at me again.
I wasn’t sure what I expected at school the next morning, but it wasn’t, well… nothing. It wasn’t to walk in through the front doors at seven-thirty to the same amount of glances I was used to by now, and to reach my locker peacefully with Sarah at my side without anything more than a few usual smirks sent our way. Jessa, seemingly, was keeping her word after all. As long as we did our best to win Winter Formal Queens, our secret was safe.
Sarah and I went our separate ways to our first classes of the day, but before class started, we were forced to listen to the morning announcements. I sat in my desk silently, stomach churning, as Principal Crenshaw’s voice echoed through loudspeakers around the building. “The senior class nominations for Winter Formal King and Queen are in. In two weeks, anyone who chooses to do so at the dance may head to the polls and vote for the couple they wish to see crowned. In no particular order, our nominees are…”
He paused for suspense, and I bit my lip. I was sure Sarah and I would be nominated, and we definitely needed the nomination at this point, but I still wasn’t looking forward to it. I didn’t want the attention. But what I wanted was pretty irrelevant now. Jessa outing Sarah and me would ruin our reputations faster than Principal Crenshaw could say, “Sarah Cooper and Katie Hammontree.”
A few of the students in the room clapped politely for my sake, but most of them just slouched in their chairs, eyes half-open. I couldn’t blame them. It was first period.
“Christine Goddard and Samuel Heath,” Principal Crenshaw continued. “Jasmine Buford and Curtis Draper. And last but not least… Ryan Calloway and Fiona Edgerton.”
So that was that. Four couples: three straight and one gay. Sarah and I were nominated. N
ow it was just a matter of winning.
I got called into the principal’s office right around the end of my second class period, and spent the walk there with my heart hammering in my chest. I was so paranoid and distrusted Jessa so much that I was sure I knew what was going on. She’d changed her mind and decided a straight couple winning was better than a fake gay couple winning, and had gone to Principal Crenshaw with the truth. Now he was calling us in to force us to withdraw on the grounds that we’d faked being a couple. I wasn’t even sure that was something he was allowed to do, actually, but if it was, it was certainly what was going to happen.
Sarah was already in his office when I got there, hands folded in her lap as Principal Crenshaw motioned for me to take a seat beside her. His secretary closed the door behind me as I moved to sit down.
Crenshaw was an intimidating man, thin and lanky and sporting greying hair that made him look older than sixty when I estimated he was mid-fifties at most. “Hello, Katie,” he said, and leaned forward in his seat once I was settled. I glanced over at Sarah, but she didn’t meet my eyes. “How are you today?”
“I’m okay,” I mumbled, heart sinking deeper in my chest. We were so screwed.
“I was just chatting with Sarah about your nominations this morning. How are you guys feeling about being up for Winter Formal King and Queen?”
“Um…” I glanced to Sarah again. She’d raised her head, now, and I could tell from the expression on her face that she was just as caught off guard as I was by his question. “Okay, I guess? I don’t really know.”
“I take it this isn’t something you’re very interested in winning, then?” he asked. This question was open to both of us, and Sarah answered before I could.
“No, we’d like to win.”
His lips pressed together, and his eyebrows turned down. He didn’t like that answer.
He leaned even further forward, like he wanted to share a secret with us, and told us, “I’m aware that there was quite the campaign to get you two nominated.”
Sarah and I exchanged looks, and, at last, she agreed, “Yeah.”
“You are aware we have a tradition here at Flowery Branch High, I take it? The crowns are typically won by male/female couples.”
“You mean ‘always’,” Sarah corrected.
He tilted his head slightly. “Hmm?”
“They’re always won by male/female couples.”
“Ah.” He let out a short, disingenuous laugh. “Yes. Exactly.” He cleared his throat. “Well… I just wanted to call you both in here to talk about your options regarding the nominations.”
“Options?” I repeated before Sarah could.
“Options,” he confirmed. “You see… there are a lot of students at this school who have some growing up to do. You two seem like very nice girls, but you must understand that your nomination doesn’t exactly come from a place of acceptance.”
“Not completely, sure,” Sarah cut in. “But we’ve had some people tell us that they genuinely want us to win.”
He chuckled at that. “Yes, well, I’m sure there are a lot of students who’d like for you two to win. Particularly quite a few of the male students. However, I personally feel that having two females win the titles of Winter Formal King and Queen would be a little…” He paused, searching for a word, and then finished, “misleading. Like a prank. Your picture would go in the school yearbook, and we have parents funding the purchase of these books who have the maturity to-”
“-to be homophobic,” Sarah cut him off. I shrank back in my seat, uncomfortable. I’d realized what was going on here right around the time she had. Jessa hadn’t come to him; he was coming to us all by himself.
He let out a deep sigh, rubbing at his temples. “That’s not what I’m intending to get across here. I’m saying that kids can be immature, and parents will understand that this was all a cruel prank, you see? I’d like to avoid making a mockery of what’s meant to be a fun activity for the senior class every year.”
“And us winning would be a mockery because we’re both girls,” Sarah filled in for him. “So you’re about to ask us to drop out.”
“I’m only concerned for the two of you,” he explained. “The students that vote for you as a joke would-”
“If you were concerned for us,” she interrupted, “you’d have stopped students from putting stickers with the word ‘dyke’ written on them into my girlfriend’s locker. You’d have started punishing boys for harassing and catcalling us in the hallways and you’d have made the discounts on our tickets equal to the discounts for heterosexual couples without pressure from LAMBDA. You’d have made an effort to look into the complaint I made to the office two months ago about the nonstop text messages I’ve been getting from anonymous numbers that belong to students at this school.”
“Now, Ms. Cooper-”
“You’re not concerned for us at all,” Sarah ranted, unaffected by his attempt to cut in. I was watching her with amazement now. She was absolutely destroying him.
“You just think we’re a joke yourself, and so you can’t comprehend the fact that not everyone at this school is gonna think the same way as you. And neither is every parent. Some of them will actually be glad to see their kids aren’t a bunch of homophobic jerks. Look, Principal Crenshaw, this may be hard for you to understand, but one person with some power – such as yourself – happening to be homophobic doesn’t mean that everyone else is. We’re not dropping out on your behalf, so can you please stop wasting our time and start getting to work on ending bullying or lowering the calories in our school lunches? I’m missing my Physics class right now and I’m really, really bad at science.”
“I think you just turned me straight.” Jake’s eyes were wide with adoration, and he shook his head as he pulled Sarah into his arms and hugged her tightly. I grinned next to her along with the rest of the LAMBDA kids at Jake’s lunch table.
“She was amazing,” I told them. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a teenage girl stun a grown man into silence until today.”
“So he didn’t even do anything?” Hattie asked, smirking beside Jake. “He’s all talk?”
“What could he do?” Sarah asked as Jake finally released his grip on her. “I didn’t cuss and I didn’t do anything that violates school policy, unless he wanted to try and get me on disrespect, and besides, that’d involve telling other people the exact circumstances of our meeting with him. I don’t think he wants to directly out himself as a homophobe.”
“You guys are so winning those crowns,” Jake told us. “I wanna have a rally out in front of the school this Friday, okay? You two can speak out about how much good your winning will do to make the school a more accepting place.”
“Sounds perfect,” Sarah agreed before I could protest. I wasn’t good with crowds. “I’ll write up a speech.”
“Great! I’ll work out the details and the setup, and you two just worry about letting everyone know why they should vote for you. You guys are gonna crush your competition.”
“I sure hope so,” Jessa cut in without warning, arriving at the table with a thin smile on her lips. I felt Sarah tense beside me.
“We’ll win,” I promised firmly, more to Jessa than to anyone else. After my scare with Principal Crenshaw this morning, I wanted a guarantee from her that if we won the crowns she’d leave us be.
I got it in the look we exchanged as she took a seat. My eyes said “Just don’t rat us out and I swear we’ll win this” and hers said “Deal”.
“Let’s flip this school upside down,” Jake declared. “They have no idea what’s about to hit them.”
I was surprised when Sarah asked if I wanted to hang out after school that day. But I accepted anyway, and as we rode to her house in her car together, I could feel an awkward tension rising. Things still felt a little off between us, but I knew she was the source of the discomfort.
“Can I ask you something?” she asked me just minutes into our ride.
“I guess.” I r
eached out to turn her radio down. “What’s up?”
“Are you and Austin getting back together?”
I gave a small start, then shook my head uncertainly. “What? No. Why would we?”
“Well, you hung out with him recently or something, right?”
“No,” I repeated. “Where did you hear that?”
“Why does it matter if it’s not true?”
“Because someone’s lying to you.”
“So… you didn’t get into his car after school?”
I relaxed back in my seat and sighed, realizing what she was referring to. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” she deadpanned. “Forget about that?”
“He gave me a ride home from school,” I explained. “It wasn’t a big deal.”
“Reconnecting with exes is always a big deal.”
“Not when he has a new girlfriend and I’m… not interested.” I swallowed nervously.
“Oh yeah? Then who was the guy you were straightening your hair for a couple weeks ago, if it wasn’t Austin? Connor?”
I scoffed at her. “What’s with the third degree? You can relax; you’re the only one cheating here.”
“C’mon,” she sighed out. “I don’t wanna fight. We were finally getting along. I just thought… I don’t know. If there was a guy, maybe you’d wanna share. I’ve talked about Sam way too much and I wanted to give you a chance to talk.”
“If we talk about anything,” I told her, “I want it to be about the texts you told Crenshaw you’ve been getting.”
I saw her grip tighten on the steering wheel. “It’s not a big deal. You got them too, right?”
“Yeah, but not nonstop for two months,” I argued. “Are people still harassing you?”
“It’s not that bad,” she dismissed. “Don’t worry about it.”
