by Gemma Brooks
“They said I’m going to be out of here soon,” Rowdy said to me first thing the very next morning.
“That’s great.” I smiled and sipped my coffee as I took a seat next to his bed. He was fully coherent now, almost as if nothing had ever happened. “You have no idea how scared I was, Rowdy.”
He rolled his eyes and half-smiled. It probably made him feel good to know someone cared about him that much.
“Your dad and Frankie were here a few days ago,” I told him. “Have you told them yet?”
“I talked to them this morning,” he said.
“Good,” I said. I rested my head in my hand as I leaned it against the bedside table and watched him in awe. Days and days of nothing and then suddenly he was completely fine.
“Knock, knock,” a male voice said from the doorway. It was Rowdy’s coach.
“Joe,” Rowdy said. Joe approached the bed and stuck out his hand as they did some sort of manly high-five-arm-hug thing. “Good to see you.”
“Good to see you finally awake, bro,” Joe said as he chomped his gum. “You had us scared there for a while.
“Doctor says I should be out of here soon,” Rowdy said. “Maybe by tomorrow. Just waiting on some test results.”
“Good, good,” Joe said. He made no effort to try to hide the fact that he was staring at Rowdy like he was a freak of nature. And he sort of was. “We need to get you back on track. Need you back in that octagon. You have a match next Friday against Cliff Van Orton.”
“Wait a minute,” I interjected. “He was just in a coma for five days for God’s sake. He’s in no condition to be fighting anytime soon.”
“Zanical XT’s really counting on this to be the big boost they need,” Joe said. His looked at Rowdy as he completely ignored me. “They’ve got a lot going into this one. Extra advertising for their products. Extra publicity for you, Rowdy.”
“Really? Your main concern right now is a sponsor?” I put my hands on my hips and made no attempt to hide the disgust in my voice. “He needs time to recover.”
“You can’t miss this fight, Rowdy,” Joe said, once again ignoring me.
“Doesn’t he need medical clearance?” I asked.
“Won’t be problem,” Joe said. He snapped his gum. I could tell I was getting on his nerves, but I didn’t give two shits. “Hey, look, this is Rowdy’s decision. Ain’t it, bro?”
I’d been shooting daggers at Joe the entire time and hadn’t even noticed the fact that Rowdy was growing angrier by the second. His nostrils were flaring and his breathing had grown labored.
“STOP IT!” he yelled. His voice boomed and echoed off the stale, white walls of the small hospital room. “Both of you!”
My jaw dropped as I took a step back. I’d never seen Rowdy get that angry before nor had I heard him raise his voice like that. My bottom lip started to quiver. As a nurse, I knew that sometimes brain injuries could change a person’s entire personality or make them more irritable.
“You two need to stop bickering,” he said. His voice had lowered and he was back to his calm self once again. “Coach, I’ll get a hold of you when I get out of here. I need to have a word with Gia here. Alone.”
“A’right, sounds good, Rowdy,” Joe said as he walked out of there with an heir of confidence about him. I was determined to not let him win that battle.
“Gia,” he said. He patted the side of the bed and beckoned me close. Apprehensive, I returned to his side and took a seat. “The nurses told me you never left my side all week.”
“Yeah,” I said as I bit my lip.
“Thank you,” he said. “I’ve never had a girl care about me like that before.”
“I care about you a lot,” I said. My voice tapered to quiet lull as if admitting my feelings had suddenly made me shy.
Rowdy sat in silence while he studied my face. I just wanted him to say something.
“Do you like me, Rowdy?” I asked. I had to know.
He stared down at his hands that were folded in his lap. He couldn’t look at me, and I imagined he’d probably never opened up to anyone like that before. After several long, agonizing seconds of silence, he slipped his arm around my lower back and pulled me close. If he couldn’t say it, he was at least trying to show it.
I leaned back and sunk into his arms, breathing in his natural musk. A week of sponge baths and he still smelled like a sexy brut.
“Are you really going to fight next weekend?” I asked. My fingers traced the patterns on his hospital gown.
He said nothing. I felt the heat of his breath on top of my head as he exhaled a deep breath.
“Please don’t,” I said.
“I have to think about it.”
“You don’t have to prove anything you know,” I said. I sat up and turned my face towards his. “You can retire for medical reasons. No one will think any less of you.”
Rowdy’s lips curled into a reserved sneer. “No one’s ever retired that soon from the pros, Gia. I’ll be a joke. You don’t understand how it is.”
“I can’t be with someone if I’m going to have to constantly worry if he’s okay week after week, fight after fight,” I argued. “Come back to Wagner. Let’s just live a nice, normal, boring life together. No fighting. No concussions.”
I knew I was asking the world of him, and maybe it wasn’t fair, but I had to at least ask.
“Maybe you’re better off with a nice, normal, boring guy instead of me?” Rowdy said. He wouldn’t look at me. I knew he didn’t mean it. “Obviously I’m not what you want.”
I held my head low, trying to hide the intense emotion suddenly washing over every ounce of me. I couldn’t bring myself to face him. I grabbed my purse off the counter and flung it over my shoulder, keeping my back towards him the entire time. I walked towards the doorway and stopped.
“You might not be what I want, Rowdy,” I said through a strained voice. “But you’re what I need. What am I supposed to do about that?”
“Gia, wait,” Rowdy called after me as my feet carried me down the hall.
I had to get out of Tulsa and back to Wagner. I just prayed I had enough available credit on my VISA to afford the first flight out of there.
CHAPTER 18
My fingers traced the track pad of my computer as I tried to talk myself out of it.
You’ll only get worked up, I thought. Nothing good can come of this. You’ll get hurt all over again.
A quiet Saturday afternoon had led to a bit of boredom, curiosity and mind wandering, which was always a dangerous combination.
My fingers typed “Rowdy Matthews UFC Fight Night” into the search bar of the browser. A list of articles popped up in the results, but at the very top of the page was a video with the caption: ROWDY MATTHEWS V. CLIFF VAN ORTON. I hesitated for a minute before clicking the link.
I listened with bated breath as the commentators rambled on and on about how Rowdy was the next big thing in UFC and how he was going to give a lot of aspiring fighters hope. He was a nobody. He came out of nowhere. The cream always rises to the top, they said. The screen flashed as they showed highlights and replays from the fight.
Gnawing on my fingernails as I watched, I kept having to remind myself to breath at times.
I shouldn’t be watching this, I thought. Why am I watching this?
“This guy is back on his feet after being in a coma last week,” the commentator said. “Incredible. Who does that?”
“The guy’s a tank,” the other commentator said. “A machine.”
The replay ceased and Rowdy’s image flashed across the screen. He was seated in a chair in a dark room as a correspondent from ESPN interviewed him.
“I’m Rowdy Matthews,” he said in some kind of promo reel. “I’m twenty-three. From Wagner, Utah.”
The screen flashed footage of Rowdy working out, throwing kicks, punches, and jabs in a fancy gym with upscale equipment. And of course he was donning signature Zanical XT cobalt blue gear.
“You were a
mechanic before this, is that right?” the interviewer asked.
“Yep,” he said. “That was my day job.”
“How’d you get discovered?” the interviewer asked.
“An old wrestling coach found me,” he said. “Taught me a few things. He knew some people. Things just sort of fell into place, I guess you could say.”
My lips curled into smile as I chuckled. He was such a closed book, and I was kind of glad it wasn’t just around me.
The screen flashed back to clips from his fight. A few seconds of footage showed Rowdy throwing countless punches at his opponent, subsequently knocking him out and winning the match. The crowd went wild and Rowdy stood, silent and powerful, heaving to catch his breath as his arm was raised in victory. He’d won. He refused to be taken down again.
I closed the lid to my laptop and sunk back into the pillows of my bed. I was happy for him, of course, but sad for myself. As I mourned the loss of what might have been and accepted the fact that we were just on two very different paths, a hard knock at the door startled me into an upright position.
My heart pounded in my ears. I wasn’t expecting anyone. I tip-toed to the door and peeked through the peephole. The moment I saw who it was, I had to stop and catch my breath. What was he doing here?
I tucked my dark hair behind my ears and smoothed it into place before tugging on the wrinkles of my pajamas. I should have been embarrassed at the fact that it was three o’clock on a Saturday afternoon and I was still not dressed, but I wasn’t thinking straight. At least they were cute pink and white pinstripes with a silky white camisole.
“Hi,” I said as I flung the door open.
His crystal blue eyes were filled with intense emotion as he shifted nervously before me. “Can I come in?”
The door swung wide as I stepped back and motioned for him to enter. “What are you doing here?”
“I flew in this morning,” he said. “I wanted to come talk to you while I was in town.”
He lowered himself into the leather chair next to the sofa, the very one I sat in when I stayed up all night watching him after his concussion.
“I saw you won your fight last night,” I said. I found myself lingering by the door still, afraid to go near him. It wasn’t that he scared me. It was that I scared myself. My feelings for him were still so raw and powerful, and I didn’t know what might come out of my mouth.
Rowdy nudged his head towards the sofa in an attempt to tell me to sit down. I willingly obeyed.
“I wasn’t going to let myself get taken down again,” he said. “I wasn’t going to let myself get knocked out. I wasn’t going to let myself lose.”
I listened intently, adding silently that he didn’t always have control of the situation.
“That fight last night,” he continued. “That was for you. To show you that that I wasn’t going to let that happen.”
What was he getting at?
“My whole life I’ve never been afraid of anything.” Rowdy was starting to open up like a rosebud that had been squeezed tight and just couldn’t take it anymore so it had no other choice but to bloom. “Except for letting people in.”
I nodded. I knew that much about him.
“I don’t want to be afraid anymore, Gia,” he said, his crystal blue eyes wet with emotion.
Before I had time to respond, Rowdy had lunged forward. Within seconds, I was lying on my back with Rowdy’s muscled stature covering every inch of me. His hands ran the length of my body as his lips pressed against the tender skin of my neck. The warmth of his breath as he traced kisses from my neck down to my chest was soon replaced by the sensation of cool air the second his lips left my skin.
His strong hand slipped beneath my shirt and cupped my breasts. His lips rose up to meet mine, and I struggled to catch my breath. It was all happening so fast. I gripped the back of his neck and ran my fingers through his short hair. Soft tickles of hair filled my palms, and I repositioned myself beneath him. I could’ve stayed forever underneath him.
It didn’t matter that I wanted to stay in Wagner and he had bigger plans for his life. All that mattered in that moment was that he’d come back for me.
The warmth of his body left mine as he rose to a standing position and extended his hand to help me up. Suddenly feeling embarrassed and exposed, I finger combed my hair and rubbed my cheeks which were reddened from rubbing against the stubble of on his face. I tugged my camisole back into place, all the while Rowdy stared at me.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Gia,” he said. “I’ve always wanted to tell you that. I just didn’t know how.”
I blushed and tried not to smile too big, but I was sure I was failing miserable at that. He stepped closer to me and scooped me up in his brawny arms to carry me back to the bedroom. When we made it to my bed, he laid me down gently, his eyes never leaving mine. His hands began to tug at my pajama bottoms, loosening them until they fell down my hips and I was exposed.
His thick fingers worked to loosen his belt buckle as he freed his arousal. I slid my silky camisole over my head and tossed it aside as he climbed over top of me, pulling a pillow under my head.
His lips traveled from mine down to my neck and then stopping at my heaving breasts. I wanted him so bad it hurt, yet he was taking his sweet time. With his hips between my legs, I could feel his hardness touching me, and it was almost too much to bear.
“Rowdy,” I moaned. “Please.”
I’d waited so long to feel this close to him, and now it was finally happening.
He lowered himself onto me before gently pressing himself deep inside me. Though hardcore masculinity made up the very core of Rowdy, his lovemaking was sweet. Gentle. Tender. My fingers ran the length of his back, this time avoiding his deep, rigid scars, and stopped at his hips, which rose and fell with every slow plunge.
I studied his face, his eyes closed tight as he concentrated on the sensation of our bodies locked together and intertwined. Every nerve was on fire as his hands grazed every delicate and tender inch of my skin. I could’ve stayed in that moment forever.
CHAPTER 19
I woke warm and safe under a mountain of blankets with Rowdy’s arms wrapped tightly around me. My eyes were blurry, but the red light of the alarm clock across the room read eleven o’clock. I hadn’t slept in that late since college.
I stayed still, not wanting to wake him, and shut my eyes. I needed to prolong that moment forever. It would soon be over.
He made love to me not once but twice the night before. The second time even more amazing than the first. It wasn’t just sex with Rowdy. It was something…different. It was an experience. Something I’d cherish for as long as I lived.
He began to rustle a bit and I knew he was waking up. So much for staying completely still. I’d even hushed my breathing in hopes that he’d stay asleep a little bit longer. He pulled his arm out from underneath me and rubbed his eyes.
“Morning,” he said as he sat up. The covers fell down his chest and landed in his lap. His chest was smooth and it rippled as he moved. It took everything I had not to run my fingers down each perfect bulge of his six-pack.
“Hey,” I said with a sultry smile. My body was still feeling from the night before, and just the thought of it was starting to get me worked up again.
Rowdy climbed out from underneath the covers, flashing his taut ass cheeks as he strutted to the bathroom.
“Want me to make breakfast?” I asked when he returned to the room. I draped the sheets around my body. I still hadn’t dressed on the off chance he wanted to get frisky again.
Rowdy’s eyes averted to the clock. “My flight leaves in a few hours.”
I stuck out my bottom lip. “Do you have to go back?”
“Come with me, Gia,” he said, his eyes intense and his expression serious. “I mean it. Come with me. Travel with me. Go to my fights. I’ll take care of you.”
“Rowdy…” I started
to say. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to. It just wasn’t that easy for me to leave Wagner. Or to leave my dad. I was all he had.
“I’ve never felt this way about anyone,” Rowdy said. He pursed his lips before continuing, “I need you by my side. I lost you once. I can’t lose you again.”
I fidgeted with the ends of the blankets in my hand before smoothing the covers. I needed more time to think about it. I was mad about that boy, but it wasn’t that easy to uproot my entire life, and I didn’t know if I could give him an answer quite yet.
“I can’t go into those fights with no one to fight for,” he said. “You give me a reason to fight.”
