Decepticons are Transformers too. They are warmongers, anarchists.
Oh?
We call them Decipticons because they are deceiving; they can take the form of any machine and blend into the environment. They could be right outside this building right now, disguised as vans or sports cars . . . and who knows what else!
That sounds scary.
Some would say.
So, they blend into the environment?
Yes. Lately they have adopted the form of cars, a military jet, a helicopter, but they can look like any machine, and it is extremely difficult to tell the difference between Decepticons and inert machines. I can tell the difference, but I am an expert, this is what I do.
I see. Now I understand why you you’re constantly on the lookout.
I have to be. It is my duty.
Tell me more about your comrades.
There is Bumblebee, Ratchet, and Ironhide. There was Jazz, but he is gone now . . .
Gone?
Unlike the Decepticons, we are a peaceful group. We are here to prevent the Decepticons from executing their plan to turn the machines of Earth against people. We are here to prevent worldwide destruction.
That’s quite a mission you have. You have quite a strong sense of purpose.
Yes. And that is not my only mission. My mission is also to protect Sam. He is important to me because he saved my life. He is in great danger and I, along with the rest of the Autobots, must protect him against Starscream and all of the other Decepticons.
Sounds like you have a very strong bond with Sam.
I would put my life on the line for him.
Wow. How did that come about?
Long story . . . he courageously stepped in when Megatron was in a position to destroy me.
So, on top of all these stressors you’ve been telling me about, you also had a recent brush with death . . .
“Brush with death?”
Meaning, you almost died.
Yes. But my difficulties are nothing compared to what happened to Jazz.
Oh? How so?
Jazz was extinguished. He is dead.
(There is a long pause.)
Jazz was killed when I was busy fighting Megatron. He was an admirable Autobot, a real fighter. He gave his life to prevent the Decepticons from getting the All Spark.
He sounds like quite a hero.
He was.
So, in addition to feeling all the pressures of being a leader, of defending the planet, you are also dealing with the loss of your dear friend and comrade.
Yes . . . That is true . . . This talk about my feelings and my life experiences is all new to me. I have never lost a team member before. And Jazz was more than a team member. He was . . . he was a friend.
I understand, Optimus. So much has happened to you recently. With all the stress you’ve been experiencing, you probably haven’t had a chance to process it all. You’ve been so busy protecting others that you haven’t had a chance to look out for yourself and your own needs.
It has been hard, Doctor. That is why I am here in counseling.
I’m curious. What do your friends think about you and counseling?
They do not know about it. I told them that I am getting some body work done, and they believed me because of the injuries I suffered in the recent clash with Megatron.
If they are your friends, why can’t you tell them about counseling?
I cannot tell them because I do not want them to think I am weak. If they knew about the breakdown they might question my abilities. I am their leader. I cannot have them doubting my leadership.
I understand. You want to retain your strong exterior, your command over your comrades.
Yes. They already saw me nearly get defeated by Megatron. And I would not blame them if they held me responsible for Jazz’s death.
How are you responsible for Jazz’s death?
I was his team leader and he was my subordinate.
(The counselor is silent for a moment, letting Optimus Prime brood over this disclosure.)
He was a great soldier and it is my fault that he is no longer with us. He should not have died . . . I should have been there but I was not. I was fighting Megatron. If I were stronger I would have defeated Megatron more swiftly and hurried back to defend Jazz.
How does Jazz’s death make you feel? Right now?
I feel . . . I feel . . . I do not know yet. I think I need to get back to my team. I do not want to fail them again. I need to go, Doctor.
(Optimus Prime quickly exits the counseling office.)
Interlude
In Optimus Prime’s first two counseling sessions, we have witnessed the beginning of a new kind of transformation happening deep within his wiring. An internal transformation, completely new and strange for Transformers as we know them, has gotten underway. Optimus Prime’s breakdown on the side of the road was a pivotal experience for him, one that got him thinking about himself in a new way. Feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness, self-doubt, and even just physical exhaustion were experienced for the first time by this seemingly omnipotent and indestructible machine we know of as Optimus Prime. The untimely death of his friend and comrade, Jazz, caused within Optimus Prime not only a sense of profound and regretful loss—a new experience for him—but also feelings of guilt and moral responsibility. By failing to come to Jazz’s defense when he needed it most, Optimus Prime is discovering that actions ought to be driven by a sense of interpersonal loyalty and moral duty, and not merely obligation. In talking about all of these recent major events in his life with Dr. Sara Sawyer, Optimus Prime has recognized just how strong of a bond he feels toward Sam Witwicky and the rest of the humans for whom his affection and sense of loyalty continue to grow. When asked how he feels about the death of his friend Jazz, or the bond with his new human friend Sam, Optimus Prime grows uncomfortable, unable to articulate these very human experiences of feelings, and unsure of what they mean to him. The very fact that Optimus Prime has sought out psychological counseling is not lost on him; he is well aware that he is the first Transformer ever to undergo therapy. What Optimus Prime is witnessing in himself is a profound transformation—not in his machine form, which he is accustomed to, but to his internal constitution. He is becoming aware of a richer, more complex inner experience that we humans know as emotions or feelings. In essence, Optimus Prime is becoming more human.
Counseling Session 3
Nice to see you again, Optimus. How have things been since your last visit?
Nothing new to report, Doctor. No sign of Starscream or the other Decepticons.
That’s good to know. I take comfort knowing that there are individuals like you who are on the lookout.
It is a difficult job but it is my duty. Your planet has so much worth saving and protecting.
I agree. In the last session you were telling me about yourself and some of your friends. I appreciated your honesty, which is essential for a counseling relationship to work. You told me about Jazz and how you felt responsible for his death. I was wondering if you would be willing to spend some more time on this subject.
You are the doctor. If you think it would be good for me, then I will do it.
I do think it would be healthy for you to explore your feelings more deeply. I noticed in the last session when I asked you about your feelings, you appeared uncomfortable. It seemed like you left in a hurry. I was afraid I might have scared you off.
No. It takes a lot to scare me.
You told me that in your job you see a lot of combat. Don’t you ever get scared going into battle?
I am Optimus Prime. I am not afraid to go into battle, as long as it is in the interest of peace. I am a soldier and that is what soldiers do.
You said Jazz was a soldier.
And a damned good one.
Right. You said he was a hero.
A great hero.
Let’s talk some more about Jazz.
Okay.
I’d like you to think abo
ut him for a minute and when you’re ready, I’d like to know what feelings you notice.
Feelings, doctor?
Yes, feelings. Umm . . . feelings are sensations that occur inside of you.
Oh. You mean, like wanting to squash the Decepticon who killed my friend?
Yes. We might call that anger. Or wanting to enact revenge.
(Optimus Prime is silent for one minute.)
I feel mad. I am mad at myself for not being at Jazz’s side when he needed me.
Okay. So, you’re angry with yourself. What else?
I feel sad. I wish he was still with us. I wish I could talk to him. I never got to tell him how proud I was of him. He was a great Autobot. A real warrior.
Optimus, let’s try something. It’s a technique in counseling we call the ‘Empty Chair’.
“The empty chair”?
Yes. The ‘empty chair’ can be used when we can’t otherwise communicate to someone we care about. I think it might help you come to terms with the loss of your friend Jazz.
Sounds a little strange, Doctor.
Maybe, but it can be very powerful. It takes a lot of courage . . .
I am courageous. I can do it.
Okay, then. I’d like you to turn yourself so that you’re facing that chair over there, and imagine that Jazz is sitting there in that chair.
(Optimus Prime follows her instruction.)
Okay.
Now, imagine that Jazz is sitting there because he understands that you need to speak with him. Like a good friend, he cares about you. He cares how you are feeling and what you are thinking, and wants to listen to you.
Okay.
At this point, I’d like you to express to him anything you like. Anything you always wanted to tell him.
(Optimus Prime is silent for a minute.)
Jazz, old friend, this is not easy for me. I wish you were still here—that way I could tell you face to face what I am going through. I miss you. I feel responsible for what happened.
(Optimus Prime looks to the counselor, who nods and indicates for him to keep going.)
You were a great warrior, Jazz. A hero. I always felt a special bond with you. I hope you can forgive me for not being there when you needed me. I thought my plan to defeat the Decepticons would work but it did not work as well as I had hoped. If it did, all the Decepticons would be destroyed and you would still be here. I am sorry. I hope you do not blame me. I hope you saw me as a good leader.
(Pause.)
Wow, that was powerful, Optimus. What are you feeling right now?
I am feeling . . . sad. A little better, but mostly just sad. I wish I had talked to Jazz like that before he was killed.
What stopped you?
I do not know. Maybe I was too focused on leading . . . maintaining order . . . making sure every one was doing his part . . . following the mission. Maybe I just thought he would always be there. Maybe I was too busy operating on what you humans call ‘autopilot’. And regretfully I never talked to him as . . . as a friend.
All of those reasons certainly make sense.
I would like to believe that he knew those things all along.
Even if you didn’t actually communicate those sentiments to Jazz with your words, something tells me that you communicated them with your behavior. Could that be?
I would like to think so. If only I had said those things to him while he was alive, then I would feel better . . . more complete.
Complete?
Yes. That is important to me.
I understand. I’m hoping that, in time, you will feel some sense of completeness, or some sense of closure as we say in counseling, now that you’ve begun to come to terms with what happened to Jazz. We can’t expect you to be done missing him, or feeling grief as we say, but I hope you can begin to feel better.
I hope so too, Doctor.
In time, Optimus. One of the things we know about the passage of time is that it can be a great healer. And speaking of time, it looks like we are out of it for today.
Counseling Session 4
Nice to see you today, Optimus. I wasn’t expecting you until next week, but my secretary informed me that you just had to see me. So, what’s on your mind?
Well, Doctor. I mean, Sara, I have been thinking about something you said in the last session. You said honesty is essential for counseling to work, or something like that.
Yes, I remember.
I am afraid I have not been totally honest with you.
Oh?
Well, remember how I told you about my breakdown?
Of course.
Well, there is more to it. Something happened before my truck broke down that day.
I’m listening.
Well, I almost killed somebody. I did not, but I came close.
Tell me about it.
This happened just after Sam saved my life, when I was on constant alert-mode, when I was not shutting down at all. You have to understand, I thought I was doing the right thing, being the best guardian I could be. It all happened so fast . . .
I understand. This was after Jazz died, after your battle with Megatron, when you were fearing another attack.
Yes. I had to be on guard twenty-four hours a day.
Wow. That must have been stressful.
Yes. It was an honest mistake. You know I am not a bad person—or a bad machine, I should say.
I know. Help me understand what happened.
Well, it happened late one night, when I was on guard outside of Sam’s house. I was sitting in my truck in case a Decepticon decided to launch a raid and that is when I noticed some movement in a car parked across from me. I thought at the time, that the car had moved, as if it was transforming into some war machine, and that is when I jumped into action. In an instant I suddenly transformed, grabbed the car, and hoisted it into the air. I was just a moment away from smashing it, but when I looked closer—hoping to find a set of eyes to stare into and say “This is for Jazz!”—the only eyes I saw were those of a human. You should have seen the look on this kid’s face.
Wow.
I know. There we were, frozen—our eyes locked together for what seemed like an eternity.
This was a really powerful experience for you. And for the kid too, I imagine . . .
It was. I remember thinking, what if I had acted just a second sooner and killed this kid? Then I would be no better than the Decepticons. I would be a murderer.
And how would you have felt?
Terrible.
And why is that?
I would have taken the life of a human!
Okay. And yet, you caught yourself before you hurt this kid, right?
Right. Once I realized there was a person inside the car, just some kid, I lowered the car down to the ground. The kid was in shock. The two of us just looked at each other in total silence and then I slowly drove away.
Did you tell Sam or any of the Autobots what happened that night?
I have not told anyone until now. You are the only one, Sara.
And why’s that? What would be the harm in telling Sam or some of the Autobots about this?
I do not know. I guess I just did not want them to doubt my detection skills or worry that I was losing control over my faculties. They have to be able to trust their leader.
I understand. But maybe they could learn something from your mistake. Maybe you could teach them about the importance of getting rest and not overworking.
Hmm . . .
The way I see it, Optimus, is that you’re the leader. You’re the one who the other Autobots look to for some sense of how to behave. How to respond—to a crisis, a tragedy, a problem… and even how to respond to a mistake.
(Optimus Prime is nodding.)
I’m sure they would understand if you were honest with them. I bet they would respect you even more. You could teach them that everyone makes mistakes.
(Optimus Prime continues nodding.)
We all make mistakes, Optimus, and it takes cour
age to admit to them and teach others what you’ve learned.
I understand, Sara. I like your idea.
I wonder if it’s not too late to tell them about your close encounter with this kid that one night.
We have a team meeting later this evening.
That sounds like an opportune time.
Yes. It is perfect! I could tell them everything! I could talk to them about Jazz. I could speak to them about the importance of being careful, being diligent. I could talk to them about the importance of taking care of themselves, shutting down from time to time. I do not want them making the same mistakes that I have made.
Excellent. It sounds like you have a lot to look forward to.
I do.
Is there anything you would like to say before we adjourn for today?
No, that is all, Sara. Thank you.
Counseling Session 5
Good Morning, Optimus. How are you today?
I am great, Sara. How about yourself?
I’m very well. Something . . . looks different about you.
That is what Bumblebee said this morning. It is so good to have him talking again. He has come a long way. I am so proud of him.
Have you . . .
I know what you are going to say, and yes, I have told him. In fact, just yesterday I told him how much growth I have seen in him. He has regained his voice and confidence. He is practically a whole new Transformer.
Wow. I’m impressed. Bumblebee’s not the only one, apparently, who has come a long way.
(Optimus Prime pauses to consider this statement.)
Are you saying that I have come a long way too?
I am saying that. And it’s true.
That makes me feel better, Sara. I do feel like I have made progress since I first visited you. I bet when you first met me you thought I was just some . . . typical robot. Just another dysfunctional machine. You probably wanted to send me straight to a junkyard.
No, that’s not at all the case. I never thought you were ordinary or beyond fixing.
Well, that is good to know. You are not like most human beings.
And you are not like most machines.
Thank you, Sara.
Transformers and Philosophy Page 14
