by Lark Maren
“We have three weeks until our season starts,” Savannah shouted, pacing in and out of the rows of us as we went through our stretching routine. “We’ve been granted an amazing opportunity to turn this team into something more than a joke in this city, and that means there are going to be a lot of eyes on us both on and off the field. From here on out, when you’re on this field, I own your asses.” She was yelling loud enough that Lucy could hear, staring her down the entire time. “I don’t care about your personal lives or your personal issues. I don’t care if you aren’t getting along with your teammates. Don’t come crying to me.”
Her tone was exciting in a way. Knowing she meant serious business meant we were going to have a record season. Knowing she was fully on board with Ella’s vision made me feel like I was in good company, like we weren’t just being taken for a ride. I laid on my back in the grass and pulled my leg up over my head, stretching and flexing my thigh muscle, massaging my calf with my fingers until I winced, working out the kinks from a hard day of standing on the concrete. I closed my eyes and worked my muscles deeper and deeper, nearly in tears. When I snapped my eyes open, Savannah was standing directly above me.
“You girls are about to become the face of this city. Role models. The kind of women young athletes will aspire to be like. I don’t want to hear anymore about you going out in public and making scenes. I don’t want to hear about you getting all drunk and acting like assholes. I really don’t want you drinking for the rest of the season, period, the end. If you have to, though, can you please do it in the privacy of your own home?”
“Fair enough,” I said, knowing she wasn’t impressed by my shenanigans the other night. In the past, we never really talked about nutrition or diets or anything; we just showed up and played. In the past, we weren’t getting paid. We weren’t trying to be role models for the city. We were just a bunch of women who liked to play football and were thankful we had the opportunity. It was both overwhelming and exciting.
“We’re going to run special teams today, but starting tomorrow we are bringing in two new assistant coaches so we can work offense and defense down to an individual level.”
“Like a serious team,” Laurie said. “Like, an actual real team.”
“You’ve been an actual real team this whole time, ladies. Now I’m gonna give you the tools you need to thrive.” I flipped over on my side and jumped up in excitement. Sure, Savannah did a great job of coaching us, but we never got individual attention down to our positions. Everything I learned was from watching film, TV, live football. I never had a coach who could take me to the next level.
“What if we hate these new coaches?” Darla asked. “What if they’re not a good fit.”
“You won’t,” Lucy said. “I promise.”
Savannah shot her a wink. “Special teams formation, please! It’s time to work. We’re going to finish up early today so we can have a brief meeting about future contracts and career opportunities within the new organization.”
There was a mumble through the group, some nervous, some good. It was insane hearing words like contract, careers, things that even a week ago I was rolling my eyes at. Now, it was becoming a reality. A reality I wanted to be a part of.
Everyone was playing their best, even though we were just practicing rudimentary kickoff coverage. It was like a new fire was lit under everyone’s ass. We were always good, but now, the stakes were getting high, we had to be great.
No more messing around.
No more getting sloppy on the town.
Head in the game.
Ella showed up as we were finishing up our drills and sprints, and for a moment my head definitely was not in the game. Her huge smile got me every time I saw her. She wasn’t the kind of person that could hide her emotions, her enthusiasm, her optimism. We were so opposite, and yet it was addicting being near her. She had on these high waisted jeans that made her look like she was all legs even on her petite body, and her striped shirt was unbuttoned just far enough to remind me of her perfect breasts.
Coach blew the whistle, and before I even walked off to the side to grab my water bottle, I ran to her, a sweaty mess, sucking wind as hard as I could. “You look pretty,” I said, wiping my forehead with my bandana. When did I turn into such a fool? You look pretty?
Her smile only got bigger. “You look hot. Not just cuz you’re all red and sweaty.” I was burning up. I wanted to rip my clothes off right there, mostly because I was burning up. She handed me an ice cold water bottle from her purse and I chugged it down.
“I’m glad you didn’t get here til the end of practice. You can’t roll up here looking all sexy, Ella. You’re distracting me. God, you smell good too,” I said, leaning in. I wanted to kiss her. I just couldn’t do it, though. Not yet. This wasn’t the time or the place. She was trying to take over this team, and I was trying to be a part of it. I didn’t want my teammates to think I was getting special treatment just because her and I had something going on.
I think she got the picture, because she walked over to Savannah and Lindsay, who were gathered in the bleachers talking, waiting for us to cool down.
I looked over my shoulder to make sure Lucy wasn’t waiting to make a scene, but she seemed to be in her own little world, happily toweling herself off while she sat in the grass. Maybe that’s why we were such good friends. The two of us could have it out, be terrible to each other, but know, deep down, we had a connection. Only now, and forever more, it would be strictly platonic.
Savannah blew her whistle and shouted for us to come take a seat. Everyone sat down in the grass, and nobody said a word. We all watched the three of them, eyes wide open and lips zipped, waiting for the meeting to start. The sun was starting to set in the sky, the bugs flying, and we had to be fast, because this field didn’t have lights that automatically came on during the week.
“I’m going to try this again,” Ella said, clearing her throat. “I know we didn’t exactly get off on the best foot, but that’s because I was approaching this team from the wrong perspective. I was looking at this strictly as a business opportunity, which it obviously still is, but after getting to know some of you better, and meeting with management, I realize what we have on our hands is a revolution. We aren’t here to line the pockets of some top-level CEOs. We aren’t here to make one or two people rich. We’re here because this is our city, and it’s our responsibility to make it a place where women like us feel like we have a home, a voice, a calling.”
Her voice didn’t waver once. She looked so confident, she was glowing. She truly was a great speaker, a great leader, once she found her voice. I’d follow her anywhere she took me. She could tell me tomorrow we were going to sell all our belongings and start a butterfly conservatory somewhere in West Virginia and I’d be on board. How did this woman make me so goofy? So utterly optimistic?
“I know you’ve all been delivered empty promises before. Maybe even from my father himself. I can assure you, as of today, he has absolutely zero connections to the Lady Cats any longer. He has provided me with some start-up capital; however, it’s not a lot. It’s not even close to what we need to make this vision come true.”
“Well I hope you don’t expect us to cough up the cash for your vision. I’m about living paycheck to three days before my next paycheck right now,” Diane, our linebacker, chimed in. “The only vision I have of my cash is the second I get it, then by the time I can blink, it’s gone.”
I felt her words. I’ve been there. Hell, I was still there. Things may have gotten easier for me, but nothing was certain just yet. “Hear her out,” I pleaded. “She knows.”
“I’m not going to take money from any of you. I simply cannot do that. Know it or not, you’ve been providing a service to this community for a long time. Entertainment. Maybe you don’t have the best turnouts right now, but that’s going to change. I am going to take time from you. Time to fundraise. Time to find investors. Time to be a face of this team. However, you’re going to be c
ompensated for that time. I can’t stand here and tell you I’m going to make you rich. We’re operating on a shoestring right now. I can tell you, I am going to do whatever it takes to help you get in a better financial position. The objective of the new Lady Cats, in my mind, is trying to help everyone make sure that survival isn’t something you have to worry about every day. The better taken care of everyone on this team is, the more money and energy we will have to help younger up-and-coming athletes get opportunities you may not have had. You can’t help others if you don’t secure your own oxygen mask first.”
I was beaming with pride for her. She really was taking this seriously. She HAD listened to us. I no longer felt bad for ‘dragging her down to my level.’ My gorgeous woman was uplifting us all, and it took everything in me not to start a round of applause right then and there.
“We have enough jobs for everyone, spanning from part-time to full-time. I want to hire from the inside wherever possible. Wage isn’t exactly going to be competitive until after this season, but I promise, from the bottom of my heart, I won’t see a penny of my own until all of you are paid and every penny of that is matched into some sort of community outreach program. Our first priority right now is getting you new and safe equipment, getting an office set up as a home base, and beefing up the coaching staff as per Savannah’s request. Things that need immediate attention. Things that are going to make sure you go into this season as the fierce athletes you are.”
“I have chills,” Laurie said. “I just… we’ve been through so much.”
“I’ve been here since day one,” Savannah said, chiming in. “Trust me, I have chills, sweats, butterflies in my stomach, I am simultaneously thrilled and terrified. This is what I’ve always wanted for us. It’s been an uphill battle, ladies. I’ve watched this team rise and fall. I wouldn’t want to be doing this with anyone but you women. You’re the toughest I’ve ever had the pleasure of coaching. It’s going to be amazing. I promise.”
“What’d I miss?” My jaw dropped as Trina Tucker appeared from the side of the bleachers. I never met the woman; she was Lady Cats folklore. Stripper turned lawyer, she was the best quarterback this team had ever seen, and now she was standing in front of us. “Looks like you still got your pep talk skills, Coach.”
“I hope you don’t mind, I put in a special favor phone call,” Savannah said. “Turns out Ms. Tucker just moved to Moon to set up a new law firm, but she’s looking for a little action in her spare time. I figured if we were going to hire some new coaches I’d aim high.”
“This is my wife, Amber,” Trina said. The tall brunette nodded and smiled. I knew exactly who Amber Ford was. She used to play cornerback for the Buffalo She-Devils back in the day. Her career ended due to injury, something that was quite common in our sport, but her legend lived on. “She’s been a defensive coach for high school football teams all over the state.”
“I’m pumped,” Amber said. “Y'all don’t know how dramatic high school boys can be. This is going to be a breath of fresh air.”
“Trina will be taking care of defensive coaching,” Savannah said. We were all too starstruck to even digest the news being handed to us. Trina fucking Tucker. She was here. She was going to coach us.
“I’m going to be your house lawyer, too,” she said. “This team gave me so much, it shaped my life. I want to give back however I can.”
Everyone clapped and cheered, and Savannah sat down, dabbing tears from her eyes. Seeing her so emotional was overwhelming. Usually rough and rigid and eager to dole out tough love, her methodology was now obvious. This is what she wanted for us all along. And I wanted it, too. More than anything. Ella stood off to the side as me and my teammates ran up to the bleacher to introduce ourselves to our new professional coaches, all of us squealing like a bunch of teenage girls at a JoJo Siwa concert, myself included. It wasn’t every day you got to meet women who did what we did. Our heroes didn’t get the publicity that men in the NFL did. We were just a footnote in the football world, even if this sport was our entire world.
“It’s an honor,” I said, as I shook Amber’s hand. My palm was sweaty and my mouth was dry. I couldn’t wait to work with her one-on-one. I had so many questions to ask her, so many things to say. “It’s an honor,” was all that I could fathom, over and over again.
“What do you think?” Ella asked, as I wandered over to her, my body unable to process all the emotions flowing through me. “Think they’ll do?”
I wrapped my arms around her, nearly picking her up off the ground. “This is nuts. I don’t know how you pulled this off.”
“It was all Savannah. I just put the wheels in motion. Now it’s your turn,” she said.
“Are you going to take the job?” Lindsay crept up behind us and tapped me on the shoulder. “You know we really need you on board.”
I’d been thinking about it all day. Tossing around the pros and cons. My construction work now was steady, even if the pay was peanuts. I always knew I was going to get a paycheck as long as I showed up and put in the time. I was almost at a point where I could start getting benefits and paid time off. I was up for a raise by the end of the year. I was also going to be laid off for a few months in the winter, and my unemployment was definitely not enough to get by, but that’s where the restaurant came in handy. Sure, I was never going to get ahead, but at least I could tread. Sure, I couldn’t give a flying fuck about filling potholes or serving pot stickers, but that’s how I kept alive. Football was my escape. My true passion. That silly thing that I just kept going back to.
Taking a position with the team was a huge risk. What if Ella’s vision didn’t come true? What if we were living in a fantasy land and nobody actually cared about the Lady Cats or our goals for the community? What if I sucked as a community outreach liaison? I didn’t even know what that entailed. I was not exactly everyone’s favorite flavor, and I wasn’t good at kissing ass.
But what if we didn’t fail? What if this was exactly what I was meant to do with my life? Not a job. A career. A career that I could actually be proud of. A career that wouldn’t leave me sunburned and half dead when it came time to practice.
A career where I could spend every day with the woman of my dreams.
This for sure was going to bind the two of us together, maybe indefinitely. Was that a pro or a con? If we went down, we went down together. She had a safety net, but I did not. Unless my safety net was supposed to be her? Could I just let myself trust her? Could I put my future in her hands, my sister’s future in her hands?
My knees nearly buckled. I could tell Lindsay and Ella were waiting for an answer. I wasn’t good at being put on the spot. My head was telling me to run away, but my heart wanted more for me. It was time for me to listen. If not for me, for Savannah. For the rest of my team. For the future generation of women’s football.
“I’m in,” I said. “Y'all are going to have to hold my hand for a little bit, but I’m in.”
“Yes!” Lindsay squealed, jumping up and down as she pulled me in for a bear hug.
“I’m guessing she said yes?” Coach Savannah patted me on the shoulder, and I looked up at her with teary eyes.
“You know this is all your fault,” I said. She’d been my mentor for so long. My confidant. The closest thing to a strong maternal figure I’d ever had. If she was on board, I trusted her. “If this goes to shit, my sister and I are moving in with you.”
“In that case, we have a lot of work to do,” she said with a hearty laugh. “I’ve smelled your gym bag before. That crusty thing is not ever coming in my house.”
I reached for Ella’s hand, but she wasn’t there. I looked all around the field, scanned the crowd of my teammates, and she was missing. Maybe she had to poop. I didn’t think much of it.
“You want to go grab a celebratory burger?” Savannah suggested.
“Maybe another time,” I said as I caught a glimpse of Ella out of the corner of my eye. She was pacing back and forth in the end zone, cellphone
up to her ear. Maybe celebratory burgers were not quite yet in order. “I’ll catch up with you guys tomorrow?”
I waved goodbye to my teammates and by the time I caught up with Ella she was getting in a big black SUV. She jumped when I tapped on the window, and as she rolled it down I could tell she was about to explode. Her face was redder than usual, and she hurriedly reached for a pair of sunglasses, trying to conceal her expression.
“Are you leaving without me?” I asked. “What kind of shit is that?”
“No. I just needed a minute. Don’t let me interrupt your thing. I’ll just wait here for you.”
The way she was staring down at the phone in her hand made me uncomfortable. “This is your thing, too, Ella. You’re just as much a part of this as the rest of us.”
She rested her forehead on the steering wheel. “What’s going on with you?” I asked. “Who were you talking to on the phone?”
“It’s nothing, Tonya. Go back to your team. You wouldn’t understand.”
“Are you trying to say I’m stupid?”
“I’m trying to say, I don’t even know what’s going on right now.”
“Is it about the team?” I asked.
“Not about the team,” she mumbled, not even looking up from the steering wheel. “Team is fine.”
“Are you sick? Did someone die?”
“No,” she murmured softly.
“I’m not trying to play fucking twenty questions with you,” I said, my frustration growing. This right here was a blaring reminder of why I didn’t do relationships. The only game I was interested in was football. Still, I’d never seen her shaken like this before. I wondered what could possibly be so bad in her little Pollyanna world that would result in her completely shutting me down. I reached through the window and cupped her chin in my hand, tracing her jawline, studying her sad face. Her tears were running down past her sunglasses, and her breath was choppy, like she could only take in a teaspoon of air at a time. “If you don’t want to talk, whatever. When you do want to talk, call me.”
