by Maxi MacNair
‘Stop being so neurotic,’ I tell myself, punching the address into my GPS. I can’t trust my sense of direction when I’m this spun up.
It’s only 6:20 when I get to the place, and it looks pretty official. There’s obviously a fight going on inside from the crowd sounds echoing down the street. There’s an announcer, but his voice is muffled and distorted coming through the stadium’s thick walls. It has to be a stadium, I decide. I have no idea what I’ll find inside, but my breath catches in my chest as I spot Luke already standing outside the entrance, doing something on his phone. I wrench my attention back to the street. I have to park my car. Thinking about things in steps is the only way that I can maintain my sanity. I get myself into the parking deck and find a decent spot, almost skipping my way to the elevator. I can’t convince myself to calm down or get myself under control.
Luke isn’t there when I get back to the entrance. Disappointment fizzles beneath my skin, but I ignore it, pressing inside the little stadium. It’s larger on the inside then I expect, with a large square ring in the center surrounded by metal bleachers. It doesn’t look like the most professional kind of setup and the lighting is terrible, but it seems to suit the fighters’ purposes.
Inside the ring, there’s a blonde with a French braid reaching halfway down her back, and she’s showing off her flexibility by delivering a series of kicks to the upper body of a shorter woman with close-cropped black hair. They both seem to be faring rather well, but I’m no great judge of fighting. I scan the crowd instead, trying to find Luke. I nibble at my lower lip and wish the lights weren’t so focused on the ring. I finally spot him standing close to the ring, cheering one of the women. An odd kind of envy grips me. For a moment, my imagination fills in for me what it would look like if I was one of those women and he was cheering for me. I dismiss the thought immediately. I don’t much like the idea of getting beat up, especially if it’s just to look cool in front of some guy.
As I head over, Luke looks up and I catch his eye. His grin is infectious.
“You made it,” he says. “And you’re early.”
“I was hoping you could maybe explain some of this to me,” I reply, gesturing at the whole stadium. “This all looks fairly underground to me.” Luke laughs his easy laugh, and I feel myself relax. How can he make me feel so comfortable so effortlessly?
“Well, this is a pretty small little league. We’re pretty locally competitive, but that’s about it.” He puts a hand on my shoulder and starts walking me up the bleachers. He leans in so that I can hear him. “These ladies are facing off in their division to set ranks for the tournament next month.”
“So…this is like the preseason?” I ask.
“Sort of. My match is going to be the same kind of thing. We’re making up the brackets right now.”
“And division…is that like weight class, or what?”
Luke’s expression looks kind of pained as he searches for a way to explain things to me. “Sort of,” he says again. “Don’t worry about all the details. For now, let’s just watch Jade and Mackenzie knock the shit out of each other.” Just as he says it, the blonde connects a punch straight into the other girl’s jaw.
“Ouch,” I hiss, fingers rising to cover my mouth.
“Don’t worry. Mac is stronger than that.” Luke stands and starts shouting encouragement to Mackenzie. He sits back down, a proud smirk on his face. “She’s my big sister.”
I study the short woman one more time. She doesn’t seem to bear any resemblance to Luke that I can see, but I can picture them as children, beating each other senseless. A smile comes to my lips, and I hide it in my hand.
“You’ve got a pretty interesting hobby,” I murmur. Of course he doesn’t hear me, but I keep on smiling anyway.
“This is still the first round. There are three rounds. If there’s no clear winner, then it goes to a panel of judges.” He points down to a small table in front of the ring. “There aren’t too many moves that are illegal, but there’s a referee to keep things from getting too ugly.”
“Do people, um…die ever?” I ask, trying to keep my voice down while still making my words loud enough for him to hear me.
His smirk gets more pronounced. “People die all the time.” I snort and shake my head. “Nah, none of our guys have died yet. Girls either.” I stare down at the fight, but I can feel Luke watching me.
“Let me take you somewhere,” he says abruptly. I turn to look at him, and I can feel my eyes grow wider.
“Don’t you want to watch your sister’s fight?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Mackenzie can handle herself. I’d rather show you around.”
My neck grows hot, and I stare straight ahead. “If you win,” I say, licking at the corner of my mouth, “then you can show me anything you want.”
He leans in close and growls into my ear, “I knew I had a good feeling about you.”
The women in the ring dance around each other for a good minute or so, and then Mackenzie darts in under Jade’s reach, grappling her and taking her down to the mat. She gets in a pin and ends the round. Like Luke had said, she can handle Jade easily. The match doesn’t last very long, and then there’s a small lull in activity.
The next fight is between two rather terrifying men. One has a large scar on his chest, and Luke tells me it’s from a compound rib fracture. I hope my face doesn’t look quite as horrified as I think it does. I can’t help it. I don’t want to think that anything like that could happen to Luke down in the ring.
“Don’t worry,” he says, laughing that laugh. “It was a motorcycle accident. Frank doesn’t like talking about it much, so he just lets people gossip about it. He plays a scare game.”
“They both do,” I say with a sigh. I’m just glad that those men are clearly outside of Luke’s weight class. I don’t think that I could handle sitting up here and watching him try to fight either of those bears.
Throughout the fight, Luke narrates what each of them is doing, giving me a tactical play-by-play of each of their moves. It strikes me as odd that something so visceral could have such a prominent tactical component. I almost say as much, but I realize immediately that it could only come off as condescending. I settle for looking over and watching Luke’s face as he watches the fight. He seems to be taking mental notes of what he’s seeing, and I can’t tell if he’s documenting things so that he can use the same strategies later, or if he just wants to study possible future opponents. It doesn’t matter. I can’t stop looking at his eyes, bright with pure excitement and anticipation. I can tell that he wants to be down there, in the ring.
“See, now Frank’s trying to get at the leg that he hurt earlier,” Luke says, pointing to the way Frank circles around the other man. I nod, seeing the sweeping low kicks. “If he can get him to the mat, it’ll be over. Neither of them has much left.”
Sure enough, it happens just like Luke said. Frank got a solid kick in, knocked his opponent’s feet out from under him, and pinned him on the mat. It was a clear victory.
“Okay then. I’m up next. There’ll be a brief pause while Darren and I get ready, so just be patient. Are you going to be okay watching by yourself?”
“You’re asking me that now?” I ask, eyebrow cocked.
“Good point.” He stands up, but pauses before leaving.
“Oh, what the hell,” I mutter, standing and giving him a short kiss. I catch him by surprise, and he just blinks at me as I sit back down.
“For luck,” I say. “Now go.” I shoo him with a gesture, and he regains his composure and his cocky grin. He struts off down the bleachers and disappears somewhere, probably a locker room.
As the lights dim, I wring my hands. What the hell am I doing? I can’t even piece out the place that I lost any semblance of self control. I don’t know what I’m trying to prove to him or myself or anyone.
‘What the hell is wrong with me? I decided that I don’t need this right now.’ My eyes squeeze shut and I move a hand to my temple. I fee
l like such an idiot.
Before too long, the lights come back to life and the crowd starts going wild. I look down and see Luke climbing into the ring. I wonder absently if I should be down there, up close to the match. As I remember the brutality of the previous fights, I shake my head. Distance is my friend. I don’t need to see every single gory detail. Besides, looking down to the ring, he’s already got Mackenzie in his corner. This is their thing, and they don’t need me to get in the way.
The announcer cries out Luke’s name, and I gather immediately that he’s a crowd favorite. His opponent, Darren Owens, isn’t without a fan base either. This seems to be the most anticipated fight of the night, and I feel an unreasonable swell of pride. It takes a lot of reminding that I don’t want to see the violence, that I’m only here to try to purge this irrational attraction for Luke Stark out of my system once and for all. I know that once I see him really go all out, that will be enough. I can’t handle overly aggressive men. I’ve had my fill, and I just need to remind myself of that.
But when the fight starts, everything else falls away. I don’t see anything but the ring, can’t even hear the crowd over the sound of my heart racing. It feels like it’s somewhere in my throat, almost stuck there. My hands cover my mouth again as the two men begin to circle each other, sizing up their competition. Luke’s hands rise and he bounces on his toes. Darren is a bit stockier, and his legs look much thicker. I can see every single one of his muscles as they tense up, sweeping a low kick just in front of Luke. Luke’s reflexes are too good; he wasn’t standing there by the time the kick would have connected. I wonder how many of Darren’s fights Luke has watched. More than a few, I decide, remembering what Luke had said in the gym earlier.
Luke is pulling his punches, it looks like. He’s spending too much time dodging and dancing around Darren. I can’t imagine that he thinks any of his attacks could have much effect on the solid wall of muscle in front of him, and I can’t figure out what he’s thinking. After a few more passes, I suddenly realize what it is. Luke is tiring out his opponent, making him stick to Luke’s pace and movements. He’s completely in control. At least, he is until Darren gets in an uppercut. With Luke’s momentum disrupted, Darren gets in a few solid punches to the ribcage, getting him in the side. Luke flails out, connecting an elbow and a knee in two separate blows. I feel my entire body cringe as the men start grappling. I can’t imagine anyone being so rough on my neck. I move my hands to wring in the fabric of my shirt.
“Come on, Luke,” I murmur. “Get him.” He doesn’t, though. Time runs out in the round, and there’s a minute before the next one. I tear down the bleachers to get to Luke, to see what he has to say.
“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” he says once I reach him. I can’t help it. I know my face is pale and painted in shock. Luke spits out a mouthful of blood, but still grins at me. “This is nothing. My jaw’s a bit loose, sure, but he hits like a girl.”
“Shut your fucking mouth,” Mackenzie says, punching him lightly in the ribs. I manage a weak laugh, but none of my concern fades.
“Did you see his grapple?” Luke continues. “His neck’s weak right now; he injured it in his last fight and it hasn’t healed yet. I can get him. I know it.”
I nod, feeling powerless as he stands up and sticks his mouth guard into place. He extends a hand to me, and I squeeze it briefly before Luke returns to the center of the ring. Mackenzie looks me up and down, shaking her head. I know what she thinks, that I’m just some little girl lost in the big scary fighting world. Let her think whatever she wants. I’m here for Luke, here for him to show me what it is about this world that’s so enticing.
The round starts off with Luke throwing a nasty punch straight into Darren’s gut, then grabbing Darren around the neck. He tries to fight Luke off, but with his neck injury, he knows that he doesn’t have a chance. The round ends quickly.
“Just do that again,” Mackenzie teases, clapping her brother on the back.
“Where’s the fun in that?” Luke winks at me, then dips down to give me a long kiss. “Keep rooting for me, Anna?”
I nod, not trusting my words to work. My arms cross tightly in front of me, and I hold my breath as the two men step into the center of the ring one last time. Darren seems to be saying something, but I can’t hear him over the roar of the crowd. Luke laughs and nods, tonguing his mouthpiece into place. The bell sounds, and they’re at it again. They circle each other slowly, and Luke leaves his hands at his sides.
“What are you doing?” Mackenzie shrieks next to me. “Kill this asshole!”
I dig my fingers into my sides, holding my breath again. He’s fine, he’ll be fine; he knows what he’s doing. I repeated the words in my head enough times that I almost believed it was true.
Suddenly, Luke’s fists shoot up to protect his face, but he drops down low at the same time. He sends a sweeping kick to try to knock Darren to the mat, but it backfires, and Darren tackles Luke, pinning him easily. Luke tries to weasel out of the hold, but Darren’s got too good of an angle. They roll around on the floor for what feels like forever, but there’s nothing that Luke can do. He taps out, and forfeits the round.
“He already won,” Mackenzie sniffed. “He didn’t need to go and be stupid.” She looks at me one more time, sniffs, and stalks off towards the entrance. I hurry over to Luke as he limps out of the ring. His mouth is still oozing blood, from a cut at the corner of his mouth.
“Did you see that?” he asks with a wild laugh. “Son of a bitch pancaked me.”
“I don’t know what that means, but do you have like a doctor or something?” I say, hands hovering around his new forming bruises. There’s one on his ribs that looks positively brutal.
“Nah, this’ll be fine. I’ll take a couple days off of training, and it’ll sort itself out. Have no fear.” He looks at me, his face melting under the weight of my concern. “Now then. I think you promised to come along quietly if I won?”
“They haven’t announced it yet,” I say numbly, and he shakes his head.
“The scores are in, but they don’t matter. Both me and Darren know that I won.”
“Is that why…?” I let my question trail off and I shook my head. “All right then. What is it that you want to show me?”
His warm smile returned to that wolfish grin from before. “My place,” he says, leaning close to growl the words into my ear.
I feel color surge into my cheeks, but I can’t fight it anymore. I’m far too attracted to this man, have seen so much of him exposed there in the ring. I want him. There’s no point in denying it. I nod and slip my arm into his.
We stop by the locker room quickly so that he can grab his gear, and he takes advantage of the lack of spectators there. He pushes me up against the wall without another word, wedging a leg between mine and filling my mouth with the taste of blood as his tongue reaches mine. I kiss him fiercely, past playing innocent or coy. We both know where this is going to lead. My hands slide up the knotted muscles of his chest and wrap around his neck to pull him closer to me. There’s too much space, too much air. I don’t want to breathe, don’t want to feel anything except for his body on mine.
“Whoa there,” he whispers into my ear. His lips brush over my cheek as he pulls away, and I shiver. “Save some of that for later.”
I nod, letting my gaze fall to his tattoo before he can cover it with his shirt.
“What is that?” I ask, reaching under his sleeve to touch it. “That tally there?”
Luke laughed weakly, turning to me. “It’s the number of times I’ve been absolutely destroyed in the ring.” He pulls the sleeve up so I can see the count.
“Sixteen?” I say, feeling light-headed. “When you say destroyed…?” I can’t finish the question.
“Still alive, aren’t I?” he smirks. He takes my hand and plants a delicate kiss on the backs of my fingers. “Come along, little Anna.” I comply easily, following him out the back door.
“I assume you
drove?” he says, inflection making it a question.
“Yeah, I parked in the deck. What about your car?”
“I rode in with Mac. I figured…” An uncharacteristic blush enters his face, between the patches of bruised flesh. “Well, you know. Just in case things went well.”
I shake my head slightly, a small smile teasing the corners of my mouth. “You really need to watch that confidence of yours. It’s going to get you in serious trouble sooner or later.”
“God I hope so,” he says pulling me close to him again. We share an intimate kiss, and his hands linger around my waist.
“Let’s hurry,” I say, pulling him along by the wrist as I head towards my car. He laughs behind me, but matches my pace.
I’m on autopilot again, following his hazy directions as his fingers skate over my thighs. I’m practically vibrating in my seat, and I can barely breathe. He knows the effect he’s having on me; I can tell from the smirk on his face. He likes it, likes seeing my naked reactions. Just thinking the word ‘naked’ sends me another five miles an hour over the speed limit.
“What’s your rush,” he teases, snaking one of my hands and brushing his lips against it.
“You know damn well,” I growl back. It feels like an eternity before we get to his shitty little apartment building. He lives on the second floor, and I all but run to the staircase. When I turn around to see if he’s close behind me, he scoops me up into his arms. I let hysterical laughter tear out of my throat as he hoists me over his shoulder, carrying me to his door. We’re barely inside before he lowers me, leaning back against the doorframe to catch his breath.
“You’re heavier than you look,” he pants. I smack him good-naturedly with my shoe, dropping it to the floor. The other follows it, and I pull my shirt off over my head in a fluid motion. As I let the fabric pool on the floor, Luke takes a moment to just watch me. It’s almost unnerving, and I find myself growing self conscious, standing there in his doorway in my bright red bra.
