by Bry Ann
“Well fuck Anatoli.”
Pytor ignored me, but both Tobias and Anatoli were glaring daggers at me.
“I assume Anatoli told you about the audition.”
“He may have mentioned it.”
I picked at my nails, as I tried to decide what to do next. I could feel Anatoli’s gaze on me, warning me to play this cool, but the little shit in me wanted to fight this. I left home to avoid just this. Except, well, dealing my father would have been a hundred times worse than this. I would have just put a gun in my mouth.
“Great. So, strip,” Pytor said with a casual wave of his hands. The air left me, and I laughed audiously.
“You… I… are you fucking kidding me?”
“Is this not what we agreed to?”
He glanced up at me like I was a waste of his time and cocked an eyebrow, fueling my anger.
“Yes, but not this. Like what the hell?”
“It’s not my fault you didn’t ask for the details.”
“I didn’t sign anything. It was just a verbal agreement.”
“That I held my end of the bargain of.”
“I’ll pay Anatoli back. I'm out!” I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. It was the only thing in my reach.
Pytor laughed maliciously.
“You have nothing Alex,” Pytor spat at me. “Anatoli, Tobias…” Pytor waved his hand annoyed, “deal with her.”
In an instant my hands were behind my back and Anatoli was in front of me, looking terrifying. My legs felt weak. I was scared.
“I warned you,” he growled. He looked over my shoulder at Tobias. “Hold her. She will fight.”
I felt Tobias nod behind me. Anatoli grabbed my ankles, as Tobias effortlessly held up the majority of my bodyweight. Anatoli pulled at the edge of my pants and I felt them slid down my legs. Visions of this happening when chained to a bedpost at my dad’s spun through my mind.
“Stop!” I screamed. “I’ll do it. Please stop.”
Anatoli dropped my feet, leaving me limply held up by Tobias. Anatoli looked over at Pytor who was giving him a stern look. Anatoli sighed quietly and reached for me again.
“If you do this you are raping me,” I said meeting his eyes. I could feel that was a hard limit for him, based on our earlier discussion. His hands froze as he stared at me, then at Tobias, then me, seemingly frozen.
“Let her go,” Pytor said to Tobias. “Anatoli, come back here.”
Anatoli scattered, and Tobias slowly let me go. I fell to the ground but caught myself with my hand and pulled my pants up. I didn’t even bother buttoning them, because why? I knew they weren’t staying on long.
“Glad you finally conceded. What are your limits?”
I felt small and was tempted to shrug and say nothing, but I knew, from experience, that I had limits and needed them to be known now.
“First, the condition we laid out in the beginning, no Eric Ray.”
“That’s known Alex,” Pytor said impatiently.
“Okay,” I said hurriedly. Fuck, it was just me and three large, armed men. I was tiny, with unbuttoned pants and a half a razor stuffed under my mattress.
“No knives. No choking me until I pass out. Must have one free arm, at least with strangers at all times. No torture. That’s it.”
“What. the. Fuck.” Came Tobias’s voice. Tobias who never said anything. “Where the fuck did you run away from?”
I shot him a curious look. I wasn’t embarrassed before, but the look on all their faces made me feel a little uncomfortable. Tobias looked downright disturbed. Pytor, evil leader of whatever the fuck this business was, had his eyes raised. Only then did I chance look at Anatoli. Anatoli was staring at me with furrowed eyebrows. His look was the worst, the quiet curiosity.
“Well,” Ptyor said with a small laugh as he cleared his throat, “you don’t need to worry about any of that here. The only one I will have to make note of is no handcuffing fully with strangers. Repeat customers you will have to though. Hope you understand that,” then his tone dropped. “Look, do your job and life could be fairly good for you here. I take care of my girls. You can stay with Anatoli until you earn enough to get your own place. I trust him with you. He won’t let you run off anywhere or off yourself. You can use his shower, eat his food or do whatever you need. I’m working on getting you a car, but I’ll need to trust you first before I give it to you. How about you take the first step in earning your keep Alex?”
He took off his belt.
I removed my shirt.
I was gonna fuck Pytor. Then commit to being basically a hooker.
To survive.
I had to survive.
Chapter 9:
“Shit,” I gasped as I woke up. I remembered the night before. I fucked Pytor. He wasn’t awful. It was fast, and I could tell he enjoyed it. He was impressed, for all intents and purposes. Afterwards, I showered so long and in water so hot my skin was still flaming red and slightly crinkled. I tried to wrap the cold sheets around my body to cool my skin, but it didn’t work. I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. Anatoli had thrown some clothes girls left at his house at me. Classy.
I walked into the kitchen where Anatoli was eating beef jerky and reading over some paperwork, like an average fucking joe. I knew he wasn’t.
I walked right in without saying a word to him and went straight for the fridge. I grabbed some cold pizza and a beer. When I opened the can Anatoli’s eyes flicked up to me then down to the beer.
“You can’t drink. You’re not legal,” he said coldly.
I laughed. “Well neither is rape.”
“I didn’t fucking rape you Alex.”
I shrugged. “Guess not, but Pytor did and you didn’t leave me much of a choice.”
“I tried to warn you,” he said, his eyes darkening.
“Well that makes it better. I must have forgotten.”
I took a large sip from my beer. His presence was dampening my mood. I picked up my pizza and beer and headed back to my room.
“Alex,” Anatoli called before I walked out. His eyes softened a bit. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’ve had a dick inside me before.”
“Yeah and apparently, you’ve been choked, tortured and starved as well.”
I shrugged. “This is nothing I can’t handle.”
“You didn’t seem like you ‘could handle it’ yesterday when I started removing your pants Alex.”
“That’s a low fucking blow Rex.”
Then I froze. Completely froze. Rex. I knew pain, but I had never known heartache until that moment. Rex. Why did I call this guy Rex?
“Alex, Alex,” I sort of heard my name in the background, but I couldn’t process it. A glass of cold water was dumped over my head. I leaped back. “Who the fuck is Rex?”
“He’s… “I felt pressure building in my eyes. I couldn’t cry. I couldn’t cry.
I sprinted to my room and shut the door. I turned to lock the door, but realized the lock was on the fucking outside. Fuck. Me!
“Shit!” I yelled as I repeatedly kicked my foot into the door. “Fucking shit, fuck!”
I reeled my foot back again and then the door came flying open. I stopped just in time before kicking Anatoli.
“You done?” he asked coolly.
“No!” I paced around the room looking for anything to destroy, but there was nothing. Nothing I could break, but me. I reeled my foot back again, but this time Anatoli grabbed me and pulled me back.
“You’re gonna break your foot Alex. Pytor won’t like that.”
“Fuck Pytor. Fuck him. Fuck you all. Just…”
Anatoli narrowed his eyes at me.
“Tell me about yourself.”
I immediately stopped. “What?”
“Yeah, what the fuck did your dad do to make you run? Who the hell is Rex? If you don’t talk you’re going to destroy yourself… or get yourself killed. One of the two.”
“I appreciate the vote of confidence. My dad
was a low life. Rex is an asshole. That’s it.”
“You love Rex?”
“ME? Hell no! Rex was a… friend of sorts.”
Anatoli scoffed. “You need ali’s in this life маленький.”
“I don’t need anyone.”
“Fine, suit yourself. Pytor is on his way with a special friend. He’s your second audition. Don’t fuck it up.”
With that Anatoli walked out and shut and locked the door behind him. I stayed in the locked room like a bomb waiting to go off.
Just like before it took hours for them to come back and when they did I didn’t fight. I could feel both Tobias’s and Anatoli’s eyes on me the whole time, watching me, making sure I wouldn’t hurt their precious leader. I was done with that, hopefully. I didn’t want to be held down as I did anything. That was incentive enough for me to behave.
So, I fucked him. I fucked him good. So good Pytor joined in and I fucked him too. Something inside me broke a lot time ago I just had to channel that. I had allowed myself to live in a false illusion where things would be okay after I left home. I was wrong. The moment I accepted what was the moment I could let myself break again inside. None of this was that bad when you were already broken.
As I was fucking both men I looked up at Tobias and, admittedly, mainly Anatoli. He became a safe face for me. The only person in the room I was fairly certain wouldn’t actually hurt me too much. When I met his gaze, he looked away. He looked uncomfortable. Good. He was the one who wouldn’t let me leave.
When they were both done with me the other man zipped his pants, told me ‘what a good fuck I was’ and left. Tobias walked out with him.
“Great job girl,” Pytor began. “You are in. Anatoli will go over all the details today. Clean up.”
I winced at the words clean up, remembering the day I left and the context in which my dad said it to me. I shook my head and got out of bed, completely ignoring Anatoli standing in the corner of the room. He’d just seen me fuck two guys. He could see me fully nude.
I walked in the restroom and turned on the shower, jumping in quickly. I turned the dial up as hot as it could go until I burned my skin. As I stood under the spray, waiting for the water to heat up, Anatoli walked in. I looked at him through the sliding glass door.
“Can I help you?”
He sighed and stayed silent for a second as the steam started to fill the bathroom.
“Holy fuck Alex. How hot is that water?” He threw the door open and winced when the water hit his hand. “Shit.”
He yanked me out of the shower and threw a towel at me. I was too stunned to say anything, so I just stood there as he adjusted the dials on the shower and turned it off.
“What the hell Anatoli?” I snapped when I came back to my senses.
“What the hell to me?”
“You yanked me out the shower!”
“Your water was boiling hot. You were going to get more burns! I saw the one on your stomach.”
“I’m still dirty though.”
Just like that all the air left the room. Anatoli ran a hand over his face.
“Fuck, Alex.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m a product. So, move the fuck out of my way. I won’t leave any permanent marks on my body. I’ve done this loads of times.”
“I will repeat that I already saw the burn on your body, and you are not just a product Alex.”
“Yeah whatever, and that burn wasn’t from a fucking shower. That’s stupid.”
I rolled my eyes, but Anatoli stiffened.
“The fuck?”
I shrugged. Anatoli sighed and moved from the shower. Thank God. I needed to feel clean.
He left, and I did my thing and reveled in it. I reveled in the burn on my skin. I knew I wasn’t the only one who’d done this. I had heard of other girls doing the same thing when they needed an escape. I’m not crazy, but I felt crazy in that moment. I couldn’t understand why this job was not easier for me. I let my hopes get way too high when I left home. I was desperately homesick for Rex and his family. I hadn’t realized how much less alone they made me feel.
I got out of the shower, got dressed and headed to the leather clad living room. It was time for me to learn about my future.
I sighed. I had to be okay with it, because I was now one hundred percent sure Pytor would kill me if I wasn’t. His friendly demeanor was all an act. He was a stone-cold killer. That is what Anatoli had been trying to warn me about since day one. I didn’t know how many girls died under him, but I was committed to not being one of them. With all the confidence I could muster I walked in the living room and took a seat on the couch. My skin was still flaming red and sore.
“So, what’s the plan going forward?”
Anatoli leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees. His muscles bulged through his shirt. The guy was huge. Why he didn’t just kill Pytor I didn’t know. This confirmed the fact that, despite Anatoli’s occasional kindness, he was no good guy. He was a criminal through and through. He worked for Pytor for a reason. With that knowledge I was able to put my guard. The one that I had admittedly, stupidly let slip a bit around him.
“Are you going to lose your shit?”
“I’m stable,” was all I said. He nodded.
“So Pytor and his associates, who you will fuck as well so they can get a feel for you,” he winced at the pun, “picks the clients for his girls. You will get money to get your own place once we can trust you, and you will fuck there or at Pytor’s ‘business’ house.”
“Whore house.”
Anatoli’s mouth slid into a smile. “Yes.”
“No thanks. I’m not big on other girls. I’ll fuck in my house.”
“You will have to use the whore house until we can trust you not to run away.”
“No!”
“Earn your trust.”
“God please. Anatoli. I’ll lose it.”
“Sorry маленький, that’s the final word on that. You will have your own room in that house, if that helps at all.”
“I damn well better!”
He laughed. “For someone with absolutely nothing and resorting to fucking for a living you sure have a lot of spunk.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. “This is temporary. I’ll be better than this. I am better than this. I got fucked over in life and am doing what I have to get passed it. I’ve earned every ounce of that spunk. I’m alive.”
All traces of amusement and mocking vanished from Anatoli’s face.
“I’m sorry маленький. You are right.”
That’s all he said before he left. The fire I was used to feeling came back, but I pushed it aside and grabbed a bottle of vodka from Anatoli’s cabinet. I poured myself as much as my body could handle. Then spent the rest of the night throwing up. It was just what I needed. I knew Anatoli heard me, but he didn’t even try and stop me. I was about to earn my right to drink myself sick. I fell asleep on the bathroom floor. When I woke up I was back in bed.
I slowly peeled myself out from under the covers and went to the restroom to clean up. I still felt like total shit, but I reveled in the feeling. Feeling shitty on the outside distracted me from how truly shitty I felt on the inside. When I was finally clean and out of the restroom Anatoli was leaning against the door frame.
“You can’t drink like that if you have gig. Understand?”
“Yes.”
“You look resigned to your fate.”
“You mean dead inside?” I asked with a shrug. Anatoli cocked his head in acknowledgement.
“Yeah I was dead inside long before I got here. I just got my hopes up. I had to come back to terms with reality. I’m better now. Sorry about the trouble.”
Anatoli’s eyebrows furrowed, but he pulled back his emotions fast.
“We are going to town.”
“Why?”
“One of your conditions was a haircut.”
I immediately perked up.
“Yes! It was. Fuck yes!”
Anatoli let out a half smile. “I’ve never seen you so happy.”
“Well you’ve only seen me trapped in a fuck house.”
“This is my home Alex.” Anatoli’s tone held warning.
“Not mine.”
“Touché. You ready then?”
“Yes!” I shook out my hair and popped back up.
“No crazy colors Alex. Okay? Sorry. Pytor’s rules. If it is not a natural color you have to consult me on what you are doing. Again, Pytor’s rules.”
“No. I know what I am doing already.”
“Can I ask? I’m nervous. Don’t go emo.”
I smirked and sprinted to the door. Anatoli shook his head and followed me. When he reached me, he put his hand on the alarm.
“Alex, don’t run please. I don’t feel like hurting or punishing you, but I will. Understand? I’m warning you. Most people don’t get this many warnings and you are running out of them.”
“I won’t run. You have my word. I have a haircut that’s already paid for. That’s the way to my heart.”
Anatoli threw his head back and laughed as his fingers hit the buttons on the alarm.
“You are such a little shit.”
“Hey, you guys wanted me to stay. Forced me actually.”
“I didn’t,” he whispered.
I climbed in the car beside Anatoli. He responded so quietly to himself he didn’t think I heard him, but I did.
Chapter 10:
My hair looked bomb. I got a beautiful natural red color and cut my hair, so it swung over, blocking half my face. I looked so different. I was barely recognizable, the point. Plus, the hair in my face made it hard to see my eyes, also the point. Eyes tell too much. When Anatoli saw me, he nodded.
“Makes sense,” was all he said. He got it though and that made me smile. I could give a shit if he liked it. I just wanted him to get it. I wanted him to know I was purposely hiding from them.
My good mood didn’t last long. As soon as were in the car Anatoli turned to me.
“We are headed to Pytor’s. He texted me. Sorry Alex.”
I nodded and bit my lip, retreating back into my numb state.
“Yeah. Should have known.”
Anatoli turned back to face front, but I noticed the tension in his body. His white knuckling of the steering wheel. I don’t know how it happened, but he had become like an older brother to me. I hated it. It was too close. Losing Rex and Mia nearly destroyed me. Now I was dumb enough to let myself care about someone else. Hell no. I silently berated myself the whole drive.
