Felicia materialized behind him. “Yes, please.”
He chuckled as she took one of the cups, and Jim came in to get his too. To me, Gabe asked, “You still want one?”
“I don’t think I really need it, but…” I reached for one of the two remaining cups.
“Why?” He eyed me. “You throw back a Red Bull while I was gone?”
I started to speak, but hesitated, making sure our two colleagues had gone back to their classrooms. “Got a text from your man.”
“Yeah?” He arched an eyebrow. “What’d he say?”
“That you need to coach both cross-country teams tonight.”
Gabe laughed. “Well. I guess I’ll see you both, um, later this evening?”
“Mmhmm.” I winked. “We’ll try not to break anything.”
He shivered. “Just go easy on him, will you?”
“What? Why?”
“Duh.” He clicked his tongue and sighed dramatically. “Because if you break him, then I don’t get to play with him.”
“And here I thought you were just being protective of your man.”
He snorted as he brought his coffee up to his lips. “Please. Shahid doesn’t need protecting.”
“Just as long as no one breaks him enough that you can’t play with him?”
“Precisely.”
“Fine, I won’t break him.” I paused, waiting for him to take a sip, and added, “Can’t promise I won’t leave marks, though.”
Exactly as I’d hoped, Gabe choked on his coffee.
I snickered and patted his arm. “Swallow first, then breathe. Remember?”
He coughed a couple of times. “Bitch.”
“Hey.” I wagged a finger at him. “Be nice, or I will break your husband.”
He opened his mouth to speak but glanced past me. I cringed. Before I’d even turned around, I knew Felicia would be standing there.
She eyed us both and then shook her head. “I don’t even want to know.”
“It’s not what it sounds like,” Gabe said.
She put up her hands. “Like I said—don’t want to know.” She walked back into her classroom, and we both burst out laughing.
Gabe lowered his voice to barely a whisper. “Well, she doesn’t want to know.” He winked. “But I expected a full report from both of you.”
“Oh, you’ll have it.” I saluted playfully. “We might even send you pictures.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
He shivered.
* * * * *
True to his word, Gabe took over coaching both cross-country teams after school and I drove over to his place.
This arrangement got stranger by the day. Had I really just left Gabe to run practice so I could go have sex with his husband? His “mostly gay but maybe a little bi so let’s fuck and see what happens” husband?
Yes. Yes, I had.
And though I was nervous, I was excited too. Who wouldn’t want to spend some time in bed with Shahid?
I just hoped he didn’t get cold feet. I wanted him to be absolutely comfortable with this, and the instant he showed any hesitation, I’d back off, but I hoped it wouldn’t come to that.
His car was in the driveway when I arrived, and the empty space where Gabe usually parked was conspicuous. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been here when Gabe wasn’t around. And I sure as hell hadn’t been here for the same reason I was now.
I followed the familiar walk up to the porch, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. When Shahid opened it, I smiled and said, “Hey.”
“Hey.” He returned the smile, though he looked even shier than I’d seen him before, and gestured for me to come in.
In the living room, we faced each other, but I couldn’t hold his gaze.
Okay. I’m here. Now what?
In all the time I’d known Gabe and Shahid, I’d only been alone with Shahid a handful of times. We hadn’t avoided each other—we just hadn’t hung out like Gabe and I did.
And this was the first time we’d been alone after I’d had sex with his husband. Particularly while Shahid watched. And joined in.
“So…” I made myself look at him. “Well, I’m here.”
“Yeah. You are.” He chuckled nervously. “Kind of different from just texting about it, isn’t it?”
“It is.” Somehow in my mind, I’d imagined me leaving school and materializing in bed with Shahid. I hadn’t thought this part through—the small talk, the ice-breaking, the necessary-if-poorly-defined steps required to get us from here to there.
He swallowed. “Would it be weird if I said I was curious? About us, uh, trying…”
“About the two of us sleeping together?”
A hint of pink bloomed in his olive-skinned cheeks. “Yeah.”
“I figured you were from your texts, but…” I tilted my head. “I thought you weren’t into women.”
“I’m…” He shifted his weight. “I’m not. But the other night… I guess it kind of piqued my interest? And if Gabe and I are going to have biological kids, and if we all agree to have more than one this way, I do kind of like the idea of at least one of them being mine. Up until the other night, I wasn’t so sure I could go through the motions.”
“Well, we didn’t really go through all the motions.”
“I know.” He paused. “But I really enjoyed kissing you.”
I smiled and inched closer. “Me too.”
“Everything else…” He blew out a breath. “I don’t know.”
“You’ve never been with a woman, have you?”
“Never.” Avoiding my gaze, he said, “I knew I was gay long before I ever touched anyone—male or female.”
“Do you want to do this, then?”
He rested a tentative hand on my waist. “Yes. I do. I mean, I’d really like for Gabe and me to both have kids that are—” He winced. “I’m sorry. That makes it sound like we’re using you for—”
“It’s okay.” I smiled. “In a way, you guys are using me, but it’s okay. I promise. I volunteered for this because I know it means a lot to you and Gabe to have kids. I know what this is and so do you.”
“Still.” He swept his tongue across his lips. “I think I’m still having a hard time getting my head around this whole thing.”
“Well, it is kind of out of the ordinary.”
I started to pull back, but he stopped me with a hand on my arm.
He swallowed hard. “I’m not sure about what we’re doing, but I don’t want to stop. If you don’t, I mean.”
“Of course not.” I came back to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Just say so if you change your mind and do want to stop.”
Shahid nodded.
And then I pressed my lips to his.
He was tentative at first, but then pressed back. Gently, uncertainly, but enough to keep me from thinking he didn’t want to do this. I nudged his lips with mine, and they parted a little. I wasn’t sure if I should go any further, or if that would be too much for him, but then the tip of his tongue grazed my lips, and I let him take over.
If he was still nervous, it didn’t show. Not when his hand drifted up into my hair, and he tilted his head and deepened the kiss. There was still some uncertainty in the way he cautiously teased my tongue with his, but curiosity too, and I decided he could kiss me like that all night—he was fucking addictive.
Testing the water, I tugged his shirt free from his jeans. He inhaled sharply as my fingers met bare skin, but he didn’t pull away. Between us, we managed to get his shirt up and off, and when I wrapped my arms around him again, the heat of his skin made my heart race.
He drew back slightly, just enough to speak.
“For the record,” he whispered, “I don’t want to stop.”
Chapter Fo
urteen
Shahid
We toed off our shoes and started toward the sofa, but after stumbling over one of the forgotten shoes, I decided the bed was a better option.
On the way up the stairs, I tried to remember if I’d been this nervous the first time I’d slept with a man. Granted, I’d been a horny, cocky teenager, and nerves hadn’t really been part of the game because of course it was going to be awesome. Maybe the second time, then? When I’d known just how inexperienced I was, and I was so certain my then-boyfriend was going to think I was an idiot because this was not his first rodeo and he knew what he was doing and I didn’t?
Nope. Still not as nervous as I was now.
I pushed open the door to the bedroom I shared with Gabe and gestured for Kendra to go in. Still dressed, she lay back on our bed and motioned for me to join her.
I gulped. Here goes.
Pretending my nervous teenage self was a distant memory, I lay beside her. She rested her hand on my neck, and I cupped her cheek, and we held each other’s gazes for a moment. I’d already kissed her downstairs. Why was it so hard to do it again here?
Right. Because we were in bed. A kiss in the living room was a different thing entirely from a kiss in bed.
Her eyes flicked from mine to my lips, and when they came up again, she grinned. Goose bumps prickled my arms.
Then I drew her in.
Wrapped my arms around her.
And kissed her.
Well, I could say for certain that I liked this part. And I was definitely turned on. How could I not be? Warm skin against mine, fingers running through my hair, a deep, passionate kiss—my body didn’t care if she was male or female as long as she didn’t stop. Neither of us was in any hurry, so for the longest time, we went no further than this. Holding each other. Kissing each other. Getting used to the idea of lying in bed together with every intention of having sex.
What was I thinking?
I traced her clothed profile with my palm, and she kissed me harder.
Okay. Yeah. I can definitely do this.
Kendra subtly pushed my shoulder, and when I rolled onto my back, she sat over me. My heart sped up. As she peeled off her shirt, my blood pressure went crazy.
We’re.
Really.
Doing this.
Grinning down at me, she reached behind her back with both hands. Her bra straps went slack on her shoulders. I gulped as she dropped her bra off the side of the bed, and I must’ve looked like an utter idiot, staring at her bare breasts as if I’d never seen a topless woman before. Of course I had. I’d seen her naked. I’d seen breasts before. I’d just…never been expected to do anything with them.
Okay. You’ve seen Gabe do this.
Heart pounding, I reached for her. I cupped her breast and ran my thumb around her nipple.
She closed her eyes and pressed against me, pushing her breast into my hand, and at the same time, rubbing against my erection. I was definitely aroused. Right?
Kendra was undeniably beautiful, especially like this, but she didn’t make my breath catch quite the way Gabe would have. And I wasn’t enraptured with her the way Gabe would’ve been.
Still, every time she moved, she rubbed against me through our clothes, sending jolts of electricity clear down to my toes.
I could do this. I wanted to do this.
I forced my nerves out of my voice. “Maybe we should get undressed.”
Kendra grinned. She took my hand from her breast and brought it up to her lips, where she pressed a soft kiss to my fingers. “I like that idea.”
She let go of my hand, and we separated. We were both shirtless already, so it didn’t take long to get rid of everything else, and before I could get my head around this, we were back in bed together. Naked this time. Naked, without Gabe there to make sure everyone was satisfied. Could I satisfy her?
Only one way to find out.
She was faster, though, and started kissing her way down my chest. My abs.
Oh.
Wow.
She’s…
Her hand felt amazing. Warm. Strong. Smooth. Squeezing and stroking as if she knew exactly how I liked it.
And then came her mouth. Whoa.
She wasn’t as aggressive as Gabe, but I liked what she did. Her lips and tongue knew exactly how to make my breath catch, and her hand’s tight grip and slow strokes were amazing.
This isn’t your husband.
What are you doing?
I closed my eyes and released a breath. We hadn’t been able to have a child any other way. This was our only remaining option, so it couldn’t be wrong.
Except this part wasn’t going to help her get pregnant. What she was doing was for pleasure and nothing more.
Foreplay was part of the game, right? There was no reason we couldn’t—
“Hey.” She lifted herself off me and came up to the pillows. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I moistened my suddenly parched lips. “Just, uh…” Having a moral crisis at the worst possible moment. “Nervous.”
Kendra kissed me softly. “Nothing to be nervous about.”
“Easy for you to say.”
“Mmhmm.” She settled beside me, and I mirrored her. “Relax. I promise, there’s nothing you can do that’ll freak me out unless you try to jam your dick up my nose or something.”
I laughed and had to admit it was a relief—I was breathing again, and she was smiling, and as I inched closer to her, I did feel better. She was relaxed, so I couldn’t help but feel the same. We’d both come here with the same intentions, and they were good intentions. We weren’t going behind Gabe’s back. What we were doing was technically adultery but served a purpose that I believed—hoped—Allah understood.
This awkward foreplay, I reminded myself, was part of breaking the ice.
Shaking a little, I followed the curve of her waist to the swell of her hip, and then, hoping my nerves were well beneath the surface, I slipped my hand between her thighs. Kendra gasped.
I paused. “This okay?”
“Mmhmm.”
“I’ve never—”
“I know.” She kissed me softly. “You’re doing fine.” She closed her fingers around my wrist and guided my hand. I swallowed. This wasn’t the first time I’d touched a woman, but definitely the first time in a nonclinical setting. And whoa, was it different. She was slick and hot, trembling and gasping as I slipped my fingers inside her.
I withdrew them and—carefully—explored her, and—
I paused. “Is that—”
“Yes. It’s a piercing.” She sucked in a sharp breath. “And yes, it feels amazing when you touch it.”
Good to know.
I ran my fingers along the ends, and she moaned, so I did it again.
“Circles,” she moaned. “Little—yeah. Yeah, like that.” She screwed her eyes shut. “Oh.” She squeezed her thighs together, pinning my hand in place, but my fingers could still move a little, and apparently it was enough. Digging her nails into my arm, she arched and writhed beside me.
“Oh, yeah,” she breathed, rocking her hips and rubbing against my fingers. “That is… Oh my God.” All at once, her whole body jerked, and she released a soft, ragged moan. She kept rubbing hard against my hand until one last shudder rocked her from head to toe, and then she relaxed, parting her thighs to let my hand go and pushing it away with hers.
“Wow.” She licked her lips. “You…are a fast learner.”
I laughed, dizzy with relief that, at the very least, I’d been able to satisfy her.
“I think,” she murmured, “that you need to get on top.”
And the humor was gone in an instant. On top. Inside her. The very reason we were here.
Nerves fluttered in my stomach, but I ignored them as she rolled on her back and I moved on
top of her. She parted her legs for me, and with her help, I guided myself in. Slowly, I pushed into her.
Kendra closed her eyes. I exhaled. She was tight, but she took me easily, and my head spun as I began to move inside her, taking long, slow strokes.
This felt great, but was I being honest with myself? With her? She was pretty, and she knew how to touch a man, but there wasn’t that mind-bending chemistry between us. Curiosity had brought us this far. Could it—
Quit overthinking it.
Was I overthinking it? Panic shot through me. What if I couldn’t finish?
Think of Gabe.
My husband’s gorgeous naked body and low moans of arousal flashed through my mind, and my spine tingled.
Oh yes. Gabe.
Except now I was lying to her.
And did I need to distract myself?
After all, this didn’t feel bad. It wasn’t… She wasn’t…
It was…
Focus, Shahid. Just—
“Shahid?”
I opened my eyes and met hers.
She touched my cheek. “You’re really not into this, are you?”
“I…”
“It’s okay.” She smiled. “Don’t force it.”
My face burned as I pulled out and eased myself down beside her. “I am so sorry. I—”
“Don’t apologize. You can’t make yourself want this if you don’t.” She paused and glanced down. Then she pulled the covers up to her collarbones. “Should I, um, get dressed? Or—”
“You don’t have to.”
“Really? But…” She gestured at our naked bodies.
“It’s okay. I mean, I’m not disgusted by women.” Fresh heat rushed into my cheeks. “Well, I guess we’ve answered one question—I am definitely gay.”
She giggled. “You don’t say.”
I met her gaze. “I’m sorry. I probably sound awful. It’s not you, I promise. I—”
“Shahid.” She gently clasped my hand between hers. “I get it. I promise. It’s nothing personal. You’re gay. I’m a woman.” Smiling, she added, “I’m not into women either, so I really do understand.”
At that, I relaxed a little.
So did she, and she moved closer to me.
“You know,” I said. “Even if we’re not fooling around, I do kinda like this.”
The Best Laid Plans Page 10
