“I’m truly sorry for hurting you, Salem,” I say regretfully, “you deserve better than how I’ve treated you.”
“Goodbye, Gabriel,” her eyes pan down to my hand on her arm.
I’m still holding on to her forearm, not wanting to release her from my grasp. I know this goodbye means forever. There’s no coming back from what happened tonight; I hurt her too much for her to forgive me, and I don’t blame her. What I said was meant to be hurtful, and I’m not proud of it. I wish I could go back in time to when I showed up at her place and start fresh, but I’ve already sealed our fate.
Reluctantly, I let her go. “I’m sorry.”
Without another word, she turns and walks away. I’m left standing in her driveway, watching as she steps through the door into her condo. The outside light turns off and within minutes, her bedroom goes dark. I’m left in the dark with nothing but my regrets.
I hop on my bike and take off. My mind is racing on the drive home. Shit starts to play over in my head; it goes all the way back to our first meeting, then to the first time we touched, and finally, to how she made me feel so alive when we made love for the first time. I’m angry and disappointed in myself. Accelerating, I bring my speed up and over sixty, and glancing in my rearview, I catch my reflection. You really are a stupid fuck. Papi was right; you’re a worthless piece of shit, and you’ll never amount to anything.
As I look back up to the road ahead of me, I see headlights coming at me. I swerve to avoid a head-on collision and hit a patch of sand. Everything goes black.
“He’s very fortunate to only have a concussion and a few scrapes and bruises. We still have to run a CT scan in the morning to see if he has any other injuries. Unfortunately, the X-rays showed us nothing. We did catheterize him, and once he’s awake I’ll be able to better assess his condition. He’s very lucky he was wearing a helmet; it saved his life,” I hear a woman’s voice say. I’m straining to hear the rest of the conversation, but it’s muffled. The next thing I hear is, “Thanks, Mom,” and the door close.
I’m struggling to open my eyes, but my eyelids are heavy and my head is spinning. A hand gently touches my forehead, “Gabriel.” It’s Salem, and her voice is full of melancholy. I feel a small, cold hand in mine and soft lips grazing my knuckles. “I’m not sure what I’d do if I lost you. I shouldn’t have let you walk away, but I was so angry. Not angry at you, but at myself. Everything you said… you were right. I do think about you when I,” she pauses, “fuck Blaine. I long for your touch, Gabriel. The way you make me feel, just by looking at me, is like I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.”
As I fight to keep my eyes open, I try to focus on her face. My head slowly lifts from my pillow, but it feels like it weighs fifty pounds. I blink my eyes, trying to clear my vision, but everything is so blurry. My head falls back onto the pillow; I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Am I hallucinating from the drugs they have me on? “Salem,” I manage to say. I feel several tears escape and run down the sides of my face.
“Shhh… you need your rest.” I feel her breath on my face and a light peck on my lips before her soft, gentle hand wipes my tears away.
The next morning, I wake to my head throbbing; my neck is so stiff, I can barely move it from to side to side, and my entire body is aching. Scanning the room, I look for Salem, but my vision is still somewhat fuzzy. I squint to see if it’ll help, but it doesn’t. I vaguely remember her being here, but she’s nowhere to be found. I buzz the nurse, and within moments she’s in my room.
“Is everything alright?”
“Do you know where Salem is?” I ask anxiously, pulling myself up into a sitting position. My head begins to spin and I feel nauseous.
“You shouldn’t be trying to get up,” she gently pushes me back down into a lying position. “The doctor will be in to see you within the next half an hour. Would you like some ice chips?”
“Yes.” My throat is so dry, it feels like I swallowed razor blades. Christ, was I so high last night on pain meds that I imagined Salem being here? Was it a dream?
There’s a light knock on the door. “Mr. Vega?” a woman’s voice asks as she enters the room. “I’m glad to see you awake.” She walks toward the foot of my bed wearing a white lab coat. She looks to be in her mid-fifties and stands about five foot five. She’s slender and has shoulder length hair that’s a muted shade of red. She looks very familiar, but I can’t seem to place her. Maybe she goes to TKO. She’s kinda hot for a doctor. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“Like I was hit by a truck and I got a tube comin’ outta my dick,” I snap.
“Well, luckily you weren’t hit by a truck, because your injuries would’ve been much worse, and I’m glad to know you were wearing a helmet.” She walks from the foot of my bed and is now standing next to me extending her hand out, “I’m Dr. Nelson. Do you remember what happened last night?”
“I remember leaving Salem’s condo,” I close my eyes, straining to remember last night’s events. “Fuck,” I hiss in frustration.
“It’s okay, don’t stress yourself out over it. I’m sure it’ll come back to you in time, and we did have you sedated last night, which can make it harder to remember things,” she gives me a kind, reassuring smile. “Now, for the ground rules.”
“Ground rules?” I give her a confused look.
“Yes, the dos and don’ts of what I want you to do. First, I don’t want you getting out of bed just yet,” she peers down at me.
“What if I have to piss?”
“I’m going to have one of the nurses remove the catheter and see if you can urinate on your own. If not, it will need to go back in.”
I give her a look of disgust. “When can this come out?” I point to the IV that’s taped to my arm.
“The catheter and IV are there for a reason, and I don’t want you getting out of bed. So, until further notice you will stay in bed, leave the IV alone, and use a urinal when you need to relieve yourself. Do I make myself clear?” Her tone leaves no room for argument.
Damn, she sounds just like Frankie. “When can I go home?”
She lets out a small laugh and shakes her head. “You’ll be staying with us for most of the day, if not another night. We took some X-rays last night but they came back inconclusive, so I ordered a CT scan. Someone should be coming to get you within the hour.” She then shines a small light into my eyes. I flinch at the brightness of the light and I can see trails of light after she puts it down again. “Would you like us to call any family? All we had was your cell phone and couldn’t find anyone in your contacts listed as Mom or Dad.”
I hesitate. “I don’t really have any family. If you could call Frankie and tell him, that would be great; his number is in my phone. He’s probably losing his shit right now because I’m not at work.”
“Sure, I’ll have one of the nurses call him for you. Anyone else you’d like us to call?”
I stop and think. Of course, the number one person would be Salem. I need to know if she’s okay after our argument last night, and if she was actually here or if it was just a dream or hallucination. I’m pretty sure that after what I said last night, there’s no way she was here. How would she even have known I was here? “No, just Frankie,” my voice is full of disappointment. “Could you have someone bring me my phone?”
“Of course,” she turns to leave and then turns back around. “The nurses told me your phone has been going off all morning. You obviously have some people who care about you.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I’ll be back in around noon. We can go over your results and further discuss when I think you can go home.”
Five minutes after Dr. Nelson leaves my room, the phone next to me rings.
“Hello?”
“Dude, Frankie just called me. Are you okay? What happened?” In typical Jimmy fashion, he won’t let me get a word in edgewise. “We’re on our way to pick up Jase. Do you need anything?”
“Can you grab me some
clothes? I’m in a freakin’ johnny,” I look down at myself and whisper into the phone, “and I have a catheter, man.”
“Oh fuck, are you kidding?”
“Dude, I wish I was. Hopefully, it’s coming out before you get here.”
“Do you need anything else?”
“Nah, I’m good.”
“Okay, we should be there in about twenty.”
Just as I hang up the phone, a nurse enters my room; she has a urinal in one hand and a small white cup in the other. “Here you are, Mr. Vega,” she puts both on the rolling table in front of me.
“You can call me Saint. Mr. Vega was my father.”
“Saint?” she gives me a strange look.
“Yeah, Saint. It’s my fighting name.”
“Okay,” she sounds skeptical as she gives me a sideways look. “Dr. Nelson just put in an order for some painkillers for you.” She then pours me a cup of water and watches as I swallow the two pills. “Now I’m going to remove your catheter.” I watch her every move as she pulls two latex gloves from the dispenser on the wall. Pointing to the urinal, she instructs, “After I remove the catheter, you should need to urinate again in a few hours, and the doctor would like you to try to use this. Just buzz the nurse’s station and we’ll take care of emptying it. You’re under strict instructions not to get out of bed until Dr. Nelson sees you again this afternoon.”
I roll my eyes and mutter, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Craning her neck, she double-checks to make sure the door is closed, then lowers the blanket down to my ankles and raises the johnny up over my stomach. “This may hurt a little.”
“Jesus Christ,” I wince and grab hold of the rail on the bed as she gently pulls the tube out of me.
“All set,” she gives me a half smile. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“If you say so.” She turns to leave. “Can I ask you something?” I wonder out loud, stopping her in her tracks.
“Sure.”
“Was there anyone here in my room last night?”
“Besides nurses and doctors?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m not sure. I got here at seven this morning. All the nurses from last night have already gone home.”
“Okay, thanks,” I can’t help sounding disappointed. I’m beginning to think Salem was just a figment of my imagination mixed with some really good drugs.
“Why? Do you think there was someone in here? Do you want me to call security?”
“No,” I wave my hands back and forth, “I was probably hallucinating or dreaming.”
“Your breakfast should be up shortly,” she says with a smile.
“Thanks. Oh, do you have my phone?”
“Oh geez, I almost forgot.” Pulling my busted up cell phone out of her pocket, she looks down at it and snickers, then hands it to me.
“Thanks.”
I hear a knock on my door and then a rush of people comes through. Jimmy, Jase, Frankie, and Stephannie all pile into my small room. Stephannie’s carrying a bunch of Get Well Soon balloons, Jimmy has my clothes balled up in his arms, Frankie’s standing between them with an angry look on his face, and Jase is pulling up the rear.
“You’re hell-bent on killing yourself, aren’t you?” Frankie scowls at me.
Jimmy comes to my rescue, “Frankie, will you give the guy a break? He almost died.”
“I didn’t almost die.”
“I told you that thing is a death trap,” Frankie grunts.
“The same thing could’ve happened if I was in a car,” I insist.
“Are you okay?” Steph sits next to me on the bed with an uneasy look on her face.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little sore and my head is pounding.” I look over at Jase where he’s standing in the corner quietly. “Jase, you okay?”
“Fine,” his tone is short.
I turn to Jimmy, Frankie, and Stephannie. “Can I have a few minutes with my brother?”
“Of course,” Stephannie stands up and leads Jimmy and Frankie toward the door. “We’ll come back in about ten minutes.”
“Jase?” I give him a puzzled look.
“I thought you were dead,” he bursts out.
“Dead?” I cock my head to the side and wince in pain; my neck hurts like a bitch.
“You left yesterday morning and I didn’t hear from you. How the hell was I supposed to know where you were? I waited up half the night. And then Frankie and Jimmy show up pounding on the door. They scared the shit outta me!” His expression has turned from anger to sorrow. “I can’t lose you,” Jase holds back his tears, “not after I just found you again.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Jase. I’m sorry I didn’t call and check in. I had a really shitty night. I had all intentions of coming home, but then I ran into Salem and all hell broke loose.”
“Did you guys patch things up?” he sounds hopeful.
“Not even close,” I lightly shake my head. “I managed to fuck it up even more.”
“How the hell?”
“Don’t ask.”
“When are you gettin’ out of here?”
“I’m not sure. The doctor said she’s gonna come back in a few hours. Apparently, I have a concussion. She’s ordered a CT scan or some shit and wants to keep an eye on me.”
“If she thinks you should stay, then you should listen to her.”
“Fuck that. I want out of here as soon as possible. I have clients tonight.”
“I’ll call Blaine and have him cancel them,” Frankie interjects gruffly, interrupting our conversation as he walks back into the room. “Jason, can you please give me a minute with Gabriel? He and I need to talk,” he looks from Jase to me.
“Uhhh… suuure. I’ll be just outside the door if you need me.” He looks at me and I give him the “it’s okay” nod.
Frankie waits for Jase to shut the door before he lays into me. “Jesus Christ, kid, are you tryin’ to kill me?”
“Kill you? I’m the one who got in an accident.”
“When the nurse called me this morning and told me you were in an accident…” There’s a pained expression on his face. “You’re like a son to me, Gabriel, and that bike is one of my biggest fears with you. I know how reckless you can be. I also know something has been goin’ on with you these last few months.”
I open my mouth to say something, but Frankie raises his hand, stopping me from saying a word. “You have a lot on your plate these days with Jason and all the new clients you’ve taken on at TKO. I just want you to know I’m here for you.”
My eyes narrow as I look at him; I know this spiel. This is where he tells me that he won’t yell at me when I tell him what’s been going on. I’ve fallen for this one before.
He must recognize the look on my face because he begins to smirk. “I swear, I won’t lecture you or read you the riot act. I’ll just listen and try to give you the best advice I can.”
I sit silently, trying not to roll my eyes at him. I’d love nothing more than to spill my guts to him and believe that he won’t lecture me. But the fact of the matter is, I know him, and he’ll rip me a new asshole for getting involved with Salem. “Okay, Frankie,” I exhale. “I’m really not ready to talk about it, but when I am I promise I’ll come to you.”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “You’re lookin’ tired. Why don’t you try to get some sleep?”
I fight off a yawn, “I’m fine.”
“Bullshit, you’re fine! Get some sleep; you look like shit.”
“Thanks, Frankie. I always know I can count on you,” I laugh.
“You’ve gotta have someone in your life to tell it to you straight, kid.” He pats my leg, “I’ll be back later to check in on you.”
“Are you okay this afternoon with the kids?” I ask him before he leaves the room.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it under control.”
A few hours after all my visitors have left and I’m back from my CT scan, I’m finally able to try to take a pi
ss. Placing the urinal between my legs, I strain… nothing. What the fuck?! Again I try; still nothing. “Fuck!” I throw the urinal clear across the room, then buzz the nurse’s station.
A young nurse enters my room. “Is everything okay?”
“No, everything is not okay. I can’t fuckin’ piss!”
“Calm down, Mr. Vega, we’ll take care of it.”
“Take care of it how? By putting that fuckin’ tube back in my dick?!” I shout. I’m not sure why I’m so angry and frustrated.
The nurse is stunned. “I… I… I…” she stammers.
“You what?” I bark at her. As I stare her down, I notice her face is flushed and her bottom lip begins quivering. She quickly turns and runs from the room.
Jesus Christ.
“Mr. Vega,” a stern voice enters my room. “I will not have you upsetting my nursing staff. They don’t get paid enough to put up with behavior like this.” Dr. Nelson is standing at the foot of my bed, her arms are crossed over her chest, and her eyes are narrowing in on mine. “If you keep this up, I’ll have to sedate you.” She looks pissed.
“I’m sorry, Doctor,” I swallow hard, my eyes avoiding contact with hers. “I know it’s not her fault and I shouldn’t have yelled at her,” I say apologetically, feeling like a complete asshole.
“You’re right, Mr. Vega, your behavior is unacceptable, and it will not be tolerated,” she says coldly. “Just because you’re not feeling well doesn’t make it okay for you to treat others that way. What exactly seems to be the problem, anyway?”
“I can’t piss,” I mutter under my breath.
“I’m sorry, what did you say? I can’t hear you,” her tone is condescending.
“I can’t piss,” I reply; this time it comes out a little louder.
“You can’t urinate?” she waits for my response.
“Right, I can’t urinate.”
“Do you feel like you need to?” she asks in that judgmental tone of hers.
“Um, actually no. It doesn’t feel like anything.” Now I’m beginning to wonder if that’s a bad thing. “I can feel my toes and sit up and everything, so I’m fine, right?” The way she’s looking at me is not very reassuring and I’m starting to get nervous. My thoughts immediately jump to my upcoming fight. If I win, it could mean a title shot for me; it’s something I’ve been dreaming about my entire adult life.
Going the Distance Page 5
