by Claire Adams
“I didn’t know you had kept it a secret,” Mike said with genuine sorrow in his voice. “I honestly wouldn’t have said a thing if I thought she didn’t know what was going on.”
“Mike! What did you say?” I asked nervously.
“I might have said I thought she was being really cool about the whole bet thing.”
“God, Mike, what else? You told her everything? What happened? Where did she go? I’m going to throw up. Fuck.”
“Okay, I said I’m sorry. I told her I thought she was being cool and she just smiled at me. I said we were only making the bet because she was so damn hot and Bryce and I thought she would turn you down. It was a compliment. I was telling her she was hot.”
“I can’t even talk to you. Where did she go? Was she really pissed off?”
“She stayed for the service. I don’t know; she didn’t seem all that angry. She smiled back at me and wasn’t crying or anything. I thought she knew.”
“Did she press her lips together like this?”
“Yep, exactly like that.”
I knew that look on Kelsi. She had made that exact same face when I forced her to stay with me in the restaurant after tricking her to come on a date. She was holding it together so she could pay her respects to my father, then she must have left.
My gut was in a knot and I actually felt like I could vomit at any moment. Everything that Kelsi and I had been through over the past few weeks was real, she had to know that. She had to feel that connection between the two of us.
I went outside and dialed her number. My hand ran through my hair in anticipation of her answering, but I had no idea what I was going to say to her. How do you apologize for being an immature asshole? I wasn’t sure, but I needed to talk to her.
The phone rang and rang, and eventually, her voicemail picked up. I didn’t leave a message, though. The delicate nature of the situation had me rethinking how I should handle it. Instead of rushing over there, I decided to take the time with my family and I’d think about what I should say or do.
Visiting with everyone after the service was interesting. There were a lot of people who knew me, but I had no idea who they were. I supposed that happened with a lot of families, but I found it very entertaining as I ate and listened to my father’s friends and their stories about him.
It made me feel closer to him the more people talked about him, and I genuinely wished we had videotaped some of our conversations. Years down the road, I would have loved to re-listen to the stories of my father’s college friends, and I knew I would never get to hear them again.
“Where’s Kelsi?” Maryanne asked as the room started to clear out and we sat in the corner eating some strange dessert.
“She found out.”
“Found out about what?” she asked, and then realized what I was talking about. “Oh, the bet. Did Mike tell her? He seems like the kind of guy who would make a bet like that and then tell someone about it.”
“Yeah. He thought she knew. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I tried calling her, but she didn’t answer. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it; the bet wasn’t a big deal. It only pushed me to go talk to her at the reunion, and that was it. After we talked I told Mike the bet was off.”
“Then tell her that. From what I know about Kelsi, she’s a smart girl. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
“I’m not.”
“What were you two going to do after the funeral? I mean, if this was all going to end anyway, maybe it doesn’t matter?”
“We didn’t know yet. I mean, we talked about visiting. There were no definite plans, but I can’t end things like this again. I can’t leave with both of us feeling bad. I’ve got to talk to her and clear things up before I go.”
“Then go talk to her. We aren’t in some big city with high-rise buildings. You know where she lives. Go over there and talk to her.”
Maryanne was right. I needed to see Kelsi face to face and just straighten this whole mess out. She would see that I didn’t mean anything malicious by not telling her about the bet. I didn’t tell her because the bet didn’t matter. It was that simple.
“Should I wait until tomorrow? I’m pretty emotionally wiped out tonight.”
“Yep. I’d get a good night sleep. Take a shower. Get looking like your usual handsome self and go over there tomorrow.”
“You know what, Maryanne?” I said as I hugged her. “You can be a really nice sister when you want to be.”
“Only one day a year, so take advantage of this. Tomorrow I’m back to being a jerk.” She laughed.
By the time I got back home, I was exhausted. The emotions over the last few days were weighing heavily on me, and I collapsed in utter exhaustion. I didn’t want to go back to Alabama. I didn’t want to stay at home either, though. Everywhere I turned in my parents’ house I saw something that reminded me of my father. So, until I could find a better solution, I was going to head back to my home, back to Birmingham and my business.
I packed my things and headed to Kelsi’s house the next morning before my flight home. No matter what was going on, I had to talk to her before I went home. We were close now, we were both adults, and she had to hear from me what had happened with that stupid bet.
The house was quiet when I pulled up, and so I walked back to the barn to see if Kelsi and the girls were back there working. Several of the horses were gone, including the one I had ridden when I was with Kelsi before.
I waited around for almost an hour, but no one came or left, so I finally decided to take one of the remaining horses out and find Kelsi. I had to talk to her. The biggest mistake I made when we were younger was that I didn’t go talk to her before she broke up with me. I was going to make this right between us, even if she decided she didn’t want to see me again.
There was a beautiful black horse in the stall at the end; his name was Thunder, and he looked at me like he was meant to be my horse that day. I saddled him up and we headed out to the trails to find Kelsi and the rest of the crew. They had been gone for so long that I hoped they were on their way back home by then and I’d run into them eventually.
I rode and rode down the trail, through the hills, and across the small river at the edge of her property. There were no signs of them anywhere. So, I took off toward the old Decker property to see if they were out that way. Again, I rode and rode with no luck in finding them. Kelsi and the group she was with definitely weren’t on the main trail, but that still left miles and miles of land they could be riding through.
Without a better idea of where to look, I made my way back toward the house. My horse was exhausted, and so was I. I’d already called my pilot and crew and told them to postpone my flight until the next day since I was taking so long. They had rules about how much sleep they needed in order to fly and I didn’t want to mess with all that, so a day later would have to work for me.
When Thunder and I finally arrived back at the barn, Kelsi, Hannah, Kendall, and a whole crew of strangers were there. The girls looked at me with a strange look as I got off Thunder and brought him back to his stall.
“You rode Thunder?” Hannah asked.
“Yeah, he was a great horse. I went a long way without a break at all.”
“He rode Thunder,” Hannah said as she turned toward Kelsi. “Thunder.”
“Was I not supposed to ride Thunder?” I asked. “I’m sorry, but he looked better than that old guy in the other stall.”
“He’s wild, and we haven’t trained him yet,” Kelsi said. “But I guess he didn’t mind you riding him since you came back in one piece.”
“Wow, yeah, he was great. Very well behaved,” I said awkwardly as I stood there waiting for a chance to talk with Kelsi. “Do you think we could talk?”
Kelsi looked back at her sister and friend for some reassurance before agreeing to come talk to me. She didn’t look happy at all. The fake smile on her face had me very concerned that she was even angrier than I thought she was going to be.
“For a minute, then I need to get back to work.”
We walked to the smaller barn, and I waited until we were far enough away to start my apology. My mouth was dry, and I could hardly think straight as I looked at her beautiful eyes and saw the hurt in them.
“The bet,” I said softly. “It was canceled. I told them I didn’t want to do it right after we talked at the reunion. Please know that everything that happened between us was real. This is real,” I said as I grabbed her hand and held onto it.
She didn’t pull away; that was a good sign. But Kelsi also didn’t look at me like she had before. Her eyes weren’t filled with adoring love. Instead, they looked sad and broken.
“It’s okay, Tyler. We knew this was all going to end sooner or later. Let’s just move on with our lives and chalk this time up to a fun fling.”
“No, it wasn’t a fling,” I said instinctively. “This is real.”
“Really? Then what’s not real? Because you are going back to your home. I’m staying here at mine. We live entirely different lives that neither of us are going to give up for the other. I’m okay, Tyler. I’m not extremely happy that we started talking again because of a stupid bet that Mike made, but I’m old enough to know that it was just a stupid bet. I’m smart enough to know that you and I have a connection, but that our connection isn’t going to last. For both of our sake, we should move on.”
“We can get together. You can come see me, I can come see you. We could make something work.”
“I appreciate that, but I want more than ‘something.’ I have you to thank for that actually. For the longest time, I was set with being single until Clyde was grown, but now I know that me being happy is only going to help him be happy. So, I thank you for that. Now I know I deserve the fairytale and I’m willing to put myself out there to find it.”
“You do deserve that, Kelsi,” I said as the realization of our situation hit me. “I’m really glad we had this time together.”
“Now go back to your real life, and I’ll go back to mine. We can remember this time together and have a great story to tell our future dates.” She laughed.
“You don’t want me to keep in touch?”
“I think it would be best if we both moved on. I’ve still got some major feelings I need to work through and staying in touch would just complicate those.”
“I’m sorry,” I fumbled as I tried to figure out what to say next.
“Don’t be sorry, Tyler. These last few weeks were amazing. Together you and I are amazing. We just can’t seem to find the right time.”
“Yeah, they say timing is everything,” I said in an effort to joke. “I guess I’ll talk to you later then…oh, or…I won’t.”
“You can say hi sometime when you’re back in town. I’m not going to avoid you.” She laughed.
“Deal. The next time I’m back in town, I’ll make sure and say hi.”
“Okay, well, take care of yourself,” she said as she hugged me.
“You, too. And take care of Clyde; he’s such a sweet boy.”
“He’ll miss you, too,” she said as she turned to walk back to the main barn. “You can say hi to him too when you come back to town, I’m sure he’ll enjoy that. Take care of yourself. Goodbye.”
My gut told me to stay, I wanted to stay, but I had no argument to change her mind with. She was right: we were drifting apart again and I didn’t want to cause her any more pain. I had to figure out my own life before I could offer her any support in hers.
Chapter Twenty
Kelsi
“The bank called and said they got an offer,” my mother said as we sat around eating our breakfast. “Are you sure you are okay with your father and I moving to Florida?”
How could I say I wasn’t okay with their dream? My parents had spent their entire life making sure me and my sister were all right. Over the last few weeks, I had learned that they didn’t even want to keep running the ranch and had only been doing it because they wanted us to have a stable childhood.
Then when Clyde was born, they stayed because they wanted me and him to have a stable environment as I navigated the world as a single parent. But it was time for them to live their life the way they wanted to live it. I was going to be fine. Clyde and I could live in a small two-bedroom apartment with pretty much any job I could find in town. I didn’t need a lot to be happy, and I knew things were going to be just fine for me.
“Mom, I told you before I think it’s an amazing idea. Clyde and I will come visit you and go to Disneyworld. It is perfect. You guys deserve some relaxation. I’ve really wanted to bring him to Disney, and this will be the perfect excuse. Plus, I think it’s warm down there all year long that will be so good for your arthritis, Mom.”
“The bank manager asked if you would come with us to the signing of the papers. There was something she wanted to talk to you about. Some contingency that is in the offer,” my father added.
He didn’t even look like he had been listening to us while he read his paper, but then again I knew my father could hear stories from the other side of the room if he wanted to. It was his special power in getting all the town gossip.
“I don’t have to go, do I?” Kendall asked. “Robert and I still have so much to do before our big garage sale this weekend. Do you think we will make a lot of money? I’d love to have more money for our move.”
Kendall and Robert had some big plans to move to New York, and it was really exciting. I didn’t like the idea of living in a big city, but for Kendall, it was a dream, and I couldn’t have been more excited for her. She had been planning with Robert for nearly a year, and now they were finally going to go for it. They were finally going to follow their dreams, and that was pretty cool to see.
“You don’t have to go,” my father said without looking up. “There isn’t anything you need to sign.”
My father was a very by the book sort of guy. He sometimes didn’t see the necessity in being super nice to people or playing up to their feelings. It always made me laugh how blunt he could be about things. But I was going to miss him and his opinions when my parents moved to Florida.
Even the little things on a daily basis I was going to miss about my parents. Like in the morning when I was extremely tired from working out on the ranch, they would get Clyde up and get him ready for school sometimes. Or at night, after a long day when all I wanted to do was take a long bath, my mother would take Clyde for me and read to him to give me a few minutes of time to relax. Those little things were how I had made it through the last few years as a single mom.
Technically, because I lived with my parents, I hadn’t felt much like a single mom at all. Having them with me and helping me was what made me feel like I could take on the world as a mother. Their help gave me the confidence I needed throughout the uncertain times of early parenting.
“Kelsi, you and Clyde could come to New York with us. We have an apartment rented and you two could sleep on the couch. It’s not a lot of room, but it would be so exciting to be there with you.”
“Absolutely not, I’m not bringing Clyde to New York; that doesn’t sound like a safe place to raise him up at all. But I promise we will visit, and you have to send lots of pictures of all the beautiful art that you’ll see.”
The last thing I wanted to do was go with Kendall to New York. It seemed like a fun place to visit, but not at all the sort of place I wanted to live. Plus, it was Kendall’s dream, and I wanted to give her a chance to follow it without worrying about me.
I was excited for my opportunity to live on my own, and I could tell she was too. Neither of us had really had to do life on our own yet. It was an exciting time for us both.
“I’m so excited,” Kendall said as she shoveled her oatmeal into her mouth. “This is the start to the rest of my life. You guys watch: I’m going to be famous someday.”
She hugged us all and ran out the door before any of us had a chance to respond. She was excited, and who could blame her? It was finally tim
e for her to follow her dreams and she had an amazing boyfriend who was going to come with her. I was happy for her and I knew my parents were, too. It was exhilarating to see everyone in my family following their dreams.
“I’ll get dressed and come with you guys. What do you think they want to talk to me about?”
“Not sure. Sometimes they want a written document on how things are run or something like that. We can talk with them, and hopefully you can put it together for them. Whatever they need, please do it. From the sound of Kirsten’s voice, I think this offer is good. She said we would like it,” my mother said. “She had the realtor there with her and they were getting all the paperwork ready.”
She was clearly excited by the offer, and I couldn’t blame her. They didn’t want to take the option of selling the ranch back to the bank because they would lose a lot of their equity. A real offer for the property could net them some serious cash so they could retire in style.
I said a little prayer and hoped they would get a nice-sized offer that would allow them to retire like they wanted to. My parents had put everything they owned into the ranch, they didn’t have savings, and they didn’t have anything to live off of. The sale of the property was their chance to have a retirement. If they could just get a couple hundred thousand from the closing, that would be enough for them.
My parents were frugal people. They lived with the money they had and didn’t ask for anything that was beyond our means. Growing up, I hardly knew we were as poor as we were until I got to high school. Running a huge ranch wasn’t easy, but because they worked so hard, we had been able to live there for my entire life. Because of their hard work, I grew up to know what love was and not always worry about having the coolest gadgets. We might not have had a lot of money, but we had everything I needed.
By the time we arrived at the bank, I was getting as excited as my mother was about the offer. I’d already resigned myself to staying in Rainbow and working at the grocery store; it wasn’t great money, but I was happy there. But for my parents, I wanted an amazing offer so they could live life up for a change. My entire life they had worried about money; it would be really exciting if they didn’t have to worry for a little bit.
