by Claire Adams
“I’m happy to hear that life suddenly has new meaning,” Jack said, and I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not. “I didn’t realize that you were so miserable before. But I think there are other ways that you could go about trying to absolve your misery. You used to have a lot of interests in things, you know. Sports. New places. And then after you got fired from the magazine, you just seemed to forget about all of that. It sort of seems like you gave up.”
“I didn’t give up. Yeah, I might’ve fallen into a little bit of a rut. But I got canned from a job I really loved! I think that’s a perfectly normal response.”
“Yeah, and why did you get canned?”
I knew exactly where he was going with this, and I wasn’t going to play that game. He wanted me to say I got canned because I’d stuck my dick somewhere it didn’t belong, and here I was, doing it again.
“If I want your opinion, or your psychological analysis, I will ask for it,” I said. “And if I don’t ask for it, I would truly appreciate it if you would keep those thoughts to yourself.”
“Okay,” he said. “But . . . I’m just going to tell you this: I saw her.”
“Who?”
“Tessa. And she was talking with that Nick kid; I think he’s in one of your classes. And . . . I don’t know, it just seemed like there was something more there going on between them.”
“Like what?” I tried to keep my voice as neutral as possible. “They had a relationship before, but it ended. The same way my relationship with Colette ended. Why do people have such a hard time getting over these things?”
“You’ve clearly never been in love with someone just to have them break up with you.”
“What did you see?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Nothing that out of the ordinary. It’s not like they were all over each other or anything like that, but it seemed like they were being . . . friendly. And you know, what if this is just some sort of game for her? What if it’s—”
“She’s allowed to talk to other guys. I’m not going to turn into some controlling, jealous asshole, if that’s what you’re trying to incite here.”
“I’m not trying to incite anything; I’m just trying to get you to see that there’s probably someone better for you out there, and someone better for her, too.”
“Well, while we’re on the subject, how many people have you told about this?”
“Just Colette.”
“Really.”
“Yes!” he said. He looked at me closely. “Why? Does someone else know?”
“Apparently, yes. Someone sent a letter to Tessa, telling her that she needed to write a paper or else they were going to come forward about what we were doing. So unless it was you—or Colette—someone else seems to have found out.”
I could tell from the horrified expression on Jack’s face that it hadn’t been him, which I kind of knew anyway.
“Shit,” he said. “That is not good. What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to try to figure out who the fuck it is and then probably kick their ass.”
“Leo, what you need to do is stop this, right now. If you stop it now, the fallout might not be so bad. What kind of evidence could this person have? You weren’t stupid enough to be doing anything with her right out in public, right?”
“No,” I said, though I couldn’t quite remember.
“Does Kristin know?”
“Kristin? As in my teaching assistant, Kristin?”
“Yes—does she know?”
“I don’t think so. Why? You think it was her?”
Jack shrugged. “In the realm of possibilities, I wouldn’t totally count her out. You’re probably completely oblivious to it, but I’ve seen how she looks at you.”
“And how is that?”
“Well . . . like someone who might take issue with the fact that you’re having this sort of relationship with a student.”
“Then I’ll confront her about it.”
“But what if it’s not her? Then you’ve just let someone else in on something you’re trying to keep quiet.”
“What the hell do you want me to do, then? You’re the one who’s running your mouth about it!”
“You should stop, Leo! That’s what you should do. You cannot stand there and tell me that you think this is going to have a good ending. The only way this ends well is if you put a stop to it now.”
I shook my head. “I’m not doing that.”
Jack looked at me sadly. “Then I don’t know what to tell you,” he said.
“Seeing as I didn’t come over here for your advice, that’s perfectly fine. But I’ll give you a little tip: stay out of my goddamn business. I don’t give a shit if you want to hang out with Colette—fuck her, for all I care—but don’t talk to her about me. Okay? Great, thanks.”
I stalked out of his apartment, slamming the door behind me.
Chapter Seventeen
Tessa
I had to take a break.
It was Sunday afternoon, and I’d been working all morning, fueled by coffee and a bagel from across the street. But my eyes were starting to hurt from looking the computer screen, and my neck had a crick in it, and my ass felt like it was as flat as a pancake because I’d been sitting for so long.
I stood up and stretched, then went over and called Leo.
“I was just thinking about you,” he said when he picked up. “How’s it going?”
“It’s all right,” I said. “I’ve been writing papers all morning. I think my brain’s about to explode.”
“Sounds like you need some stress relief.”
“Yeah, that wouldn’t hurt.”
“Where are you?”
“At my apartment.”
“Want me to come by?”
“Sure,” I said. I told him my address.
“Great, give me like 15 minutes.”
After I got off the phone, I quickly went through and tidied up a little. I brushed my teeth, combed out my hair, and put on a different, cuter T-shirt.
The doorbell rang a few minutes later, and I buzzed him in.
“Hey,” I said. “Thanks for coming by. We can go out if you want; we don’t have to stay here.”
“Here is fine,” he said. “I’ve never seen your place before. It’s cute,” he said as he stepped inside.
“Thanks,” I said. “While I wish I could take credit for the décor and everything, that was mostly my mom. I don’t really have that much sense when it comes to decorating.”
“So this is what was on the line?”
I looked at him. “What do you mean?”
“You said that you needed to get your GPA back up because your parents were going to cut you off. Which was why you needed the extra credit. So I assume that part of being cut off would mean saying goodbye to this little place?”
“Something like that.” I didn’t want to admit to him that my parents were footing the bill for everything, but he basically knew anyway. “It’s not because I want to maintain my status as a spoiled brat,” I said. “I really do want to get my GPA back up because I’ve always done well in school and I don’t want to start failing now. But yeah—they pay for mostly everything, and I think that it would be really challenging to get a job on top of school work and everything.”
He smiled. “Should I pay you?”
I whacked him on the shoulder. “You’re not paying me!” I said. “Talk about making me feel like a whore.”
The thing was, I was starting to like Leo, as more than just some hot guy, as more than this person I was conducting some illicit affair with. I liked him as a person; I liked getting to hang out with him, I loved that he took me out to that restaurant in Fairfax, I just really enjoyed his company. The sex part was awesome, too, but I realized that I didn’t want it to stop once the semester was over.
He stepped over to me and put his hands on either side of my face. He held his palms there, tilting my head back a little so he could look right into my eyes. “I don�
�t think you’re a whore,” he said, his face completely serious. “And I want you to know that.”
“I know you don’t.”
We made our way over to the couch and sat down. He pulled my shirt off, I pulled his off, and he ran his hands over my breasts as I kissed his neck.
“I’d give you an A now anyway,” he said, his breath warm on my hair. “Even if you decided to stop doing work for the rest of the semester . . . I don’t think you’re leaving me much choice.”
I kissed a trail from his torso down his toned abdomen. I unbuttoned his pants and he lifted his ass and slid them off. I took his cock in my hand and squeezed it lightly, then slowly brought my mouth down, encircling the head with my tongue. Leo groaned and ran his hands through my hair. I didn’t know what it was about him that made me feel so bold; with Nick, I had been shy, more reserved, a little uncertain about whether or not what I was doing was making him feel good or not. But with Leo, it was a totally different story.
“Yeah,” he said in a low voice, his groaning getting louder. I relaxed my throat and took him into my mouth as far as I could, moving my mouth back and forth like I was shaking my head no, the head of his cock pressing against the back of my throat.
And then, I thought that I heard something, but I wasn’t sure because Leo was breathing hard, and I was so focused on what I was doing to him, that my mouth was capable of making him feel so good. I didn’t even care if he came in my mouth—in fact, part of me wanted him to, and I’d swallow all of it, every last drop. My jaw was aching, but in a good way, and my mouth slid easily around him, even as he got bigger, as his cock throbbed against the back of my throat. His hands twisted in my hair, and it hurt a little, but it was a good hurt, the sort of pain that just accentuated how good I felt. And I felt even better when he reached around with his other hand, first stroking my ass, slapping it a little, then sliding a finger into me. I tilted my ass a little higher into the air, a warm, pleasurable sensation threading its way up my spine. I groaned, and then he groaned.
“I’m about to come,” he said. “So if you want me to come in your mouth, keep doing what you’re doing—if not, stop immediately and I’ll fuck the living daylights out of you—”
“Oh my God!”
The sound of my mother’s voice was like getting doused with a bucket of ice water. I jumped up, realizing as I was doing so that I was completely naked, and that Leo’s erection would be on full display. My mother stood there in the entryway to the living room, gaping.
“What is going on?” she shrieked. But then she recognized Leo, and she shrieked again. “Wait a minute! I know you! You’re Tessa’s teacher!” Her gaze went to me, eyes blazing. “Tessa—what the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
She didn’t run out of the room like I expected she would; she just stood there, gaping, as I reached for the little lap blanket that was thrown across the back of the couch. Leo had grabbed a handful of his clothing and was holding it over his crotch, a cloudy expression still in his eyes, though I could tell he was trying not to smile.
I tried to arrange the blanket so it was covering me up, but it was too small; if I wanted to cover the top half, the bottom half was exposed; if I tried to cover the lower half, my breasts were right there for her to see. Leo solved this by handing me my shirt, which I got tangled up in as I hurriedly tried to put it back on.
“Now that you’re halfway decent,” my mother said, “would you like to tell me what the hell is going on?”
I opened my mouth to say something, but no words came out. How could I possibly explain this? She’d come in and seen everything. There was no way I’d be able to talk my way out of this one.
Chapter Eighteen
Leo
“I’m waiting.”
Tessa’s mother was still standing there, looking at her expectantly. Tessa was stammering, trying to come up with an excuse on the fly, but really, there was nothing that was going to explain this except the truth. And my truth? Well, I wanted to finish myself off, since Tessa clearly wasn’t going to be able to, but there was no way in hell that was going to happen. The best I could hope for was I wouldn’t have to walk around for the rest of the day feeling like I’d been kicked in the balls.
Tessa’s mother looked at me. “And you!” she said. She shook her index finger at me, and I had to bite down on the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “I don’t know what kind of professor you think you are, but I imagine this is most certainly against school policy!”
“You’re right,” I said. “This is really not the sort of thing that we expected you to walk in on.”
“Tessa must’ve forgotten to mention to you that I have a key of my own.”
I nodded. “I see that. Look, we’re really—”
“No! I don’t want to hear it!” her mother said. “There’s nothing you can say that’s going to make this better. There’s no excuse for this. How old are you?”
“Old enough to know better,” I said. “I’m 29.”
This tripped her up for a moment—I could tell she’d been hoping that I was going to say at least in my 30s, if not older, because then it’d really be scandalous, but she recovered quickly and resumed glaring at me. “It’s not acceptable,” she said, “whatever age you are. You’re a teacher. Don’t you have any self-respect? Don’t you realize that your job is important and by doing something like this, you’re abusing your position of power?”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Tessa said, saving me from having to answer. “We’re both sorry. I really wasn’t expecting you to come in like this.”
“Clearly not,” her mother said sourly. “This is very disappointing, Tessa. Very disappointing. I thought you were so busy with your schoolwork and trying to get your grades back up. How is it you have time for this—” Her mother stopped abruptly, the synapses firing, connections being drawn. Her eyes narrowed. “Tell me you’re not sleeping with him to get a better grade.”
Tessa hesitated a second too long. If I were her, I would’ve been shaking my head emphatically. “What are you, crazy?” I would’ve said. “There’s no way in hell I’d do something like that. What kind of person do you think I am?”
But Tessa was clearly flummoxed (or maybe mortified) by this entire situation, and her shoulders slumped, and she sighed. “I’m sorry, Mom, I’m so sorry, I . . .”
“Jesus Christ!” her mother exclaimed. “Tessa, I don’t even know what to say to you right now. I just don’t. So I’m going to leave.”
“Are you . . . are you going to tell Dad?” Tessa asked, and I could hear the trepidation in her voice. Actually, scratch that—more like abject fear.
“I can’t even talk to you about this now. I just . . . I can’t.”
Her mother shot me one last glare and then left, slamming the door behind her. Tessa stood there for a moment, and then her shoulders started to shake, and she burst into tears.
I stood up and went over to her, put my arms around her. “Shhh,” I said. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not!” she wailed, her voice muffled against my shoulder. “That was the worst possible thing that could’ve happened. I can’t believe that my mother just walked in on us. She just walked in on us. Unless this is a dream. Am I dreaming? Because if I am, I’d like to wake up now, because this is more like a nightmare.”
I stroked her hair. “It’ll be all right. I mean, I don’t think any parent particularly enjoys walking in on their kid in the middle of sexual activity, but—”
“It’s not just that. She’s going to tell my father. He’s going to flip out. And it’s not going to be something he just needs some time to calm down about. He is absolutely not going to be okay with this!”
She started sobbing again, and I hugged her tightly, wishing that I could take back the past 20 minutes. My balls ached, which I tried to ignore.
“Do you want me to stay?” I asked.
Her eyes were red, and she sniffled. “No,” she said. “I mean, of course, I do, but I’m
afraid she might come back, and if you’re here and she does that’s going to make things even worse.”
I nodded. “Of course. I’m sorry, Tessa. The last thing I wanted was to get you in trouble with your parents; I hope you know that.”
“I know,” she said. “And you don’t need to apologize. It’s not just your fault. Or it’s as much as my fault as it is yours. Oh, I don’t even know what I’m saying.”
I held onto her for a few more moments, and then I let go. She had stopped crying and was wiping at her eyes.
“I’ll call you later, okay?” I said. “Or if you want to talk or anything, go ahead and give me a call.”
“All right,” she said, trying to smile, her chin trembling slightly. I got dressed and then I gave her one last hug and a kiss on the forehead. My dick was still hard, and my balls were aching, but I ignored it the best I could and gingerly walked out of the apartment. It was uncomfortable, but it was Tessa I really felt bad about. Rather, her mother walking in on us like that. Under other circumstances, it would have been fucking hilarious, but in this case . . . not so much. I didn’t really know Tessa’s mom, and I’d never met her dad before, but from what she had told me about them, they certainly seemed like the sort of people who wanted things done a certain way, and if it wasn’t, then there would be hell to pay.
Chapter Nineteen
Tessa
I kept waiting to wake up, like I’d open my eyes and realize I was still in bed and that the day hadn’t started yet and the whole thing with Mom walking in on Leo and me was just a nightmare that hadn’t just taken place. But there didn’t seem to be any waking up from this, because it wasn’t a dream.
There was also a part of me that really didn’t want Leo to leave, that wanted him to stay, and maybe we could just pretend like that whole thing with my mother had never happened. But it had, and her expression was basically seared onto the inside of my eyelids, so every time I shut my eyes, that’s all I saw.
