by Flora Kidd
'She? was always late and then she would forget her lines. Oh, it was awful to see what had happened to her!'
'Drugs?' Helen guessed.
'Right. I tried to help her and used to go and see her often, and of course our friendship was talked about, written about' His voice rasped bitterly. 'But there was nothing in it. We weren't in love, we didn't sleep together and I didn't seduce her. That note she left was deliberately misunderstood by the coroner. I'd been away from Hollywood for a while, filming on location in the Caribbean, and she'd got very low because the man she was in love with, another actor, had married someone else.'
'What did the note say?' asked Helen.
'It was addressed to me and it said very briefly, "It's no use, Magnus, I can't go on without you. I'm going to finish it all tonight. All my love, Rachel." ' He drew a sharp breath. 'Very misleading to anyone who didn't know the background to it, you have to admit.'
'She meant, I suppose, that she couldn't go on without your friendship and support, without you being there to help her,' said Helen, turning towards him, and they stopped walking to stand looking at each other in the starlight.
'Thank goodness you understand that, Eilidh,' Magnus whispered.
'Oh, it's very easy for me to understand, knowing how you rush in like a fool to help people,' she teased gently. 'How much more of the play do you have to write?'
'Only the last scene. I was trying to write it when Wanda turned up and told me about you and Blair and asked for my help. I haven't touched it since I enticed you here.' He framed her face with his hands. 'I really meant it, you know, when I said you'd come like a light into my life to lighten the darkness for me, Eilidh. I was very depressed after that farce of an inquiry into Rachel's death and the subsequent trial for slander, and I'd more or less made up my mind never to be in a film again. The problem was I was under contract to Fiedler and if I broke the contract was likely to be sued by him, something I couldn't afford to happen.'
'How long does your contract with him run?'
'This film—the one Leo is directing—should be the last. After that I'm going to freelance. I'll probably be very poor, but I'll be much happier only acting in plays and films when I want to, if I get any offers.'
'Oh, you'll get offers,' replied Helen encouragingly. 'I know you will. And then your play, the one you're writing, might be a huge success and your ego will get oversized again—'
'Never, never while you're around to deflate it,' he retorted, and pulling her into his arms, kissed her hard on the lips. 'Oh, Eilidh, I love you very much,' he whispered when the kiss was over and he was holding her tightly, his cheek against her hair, 'What are we going to do about it? How can I always be sure you're going to be a part of my life and that I'm always going to be a part of yours? How can we be together more often when we do such different kinds of work?'
'We could always get married,' she said softly.
He was silent for a few moments, then he pushed her away from him. In the starlight their faces were caricatures drawn in black and white, difficult to read.
'You wouldn't be proposing to me, would you, Helen Melrose?' he asked mockingly.
'Yes… yes, I am, Magnus Scott,' she replied, 'because I know, you see, that you'll never propose to me. I love you too, and I want to be a part of your life and for you to be a part of mine always, and the only way I know we can make sure of that is for us to get married.'
'But that will mean making promises, Eilidh, and you know, because I've told you, I don't like to make them in case I have to break them,' he said quietly.
'If you love me, really and truly love me, you'll make them and you'll never break them,' she said.
'Do you want an answer now?' he asked.
'No. Just whenever you feel like it. We can go on as we are, seeing each other when we can,' she said. 'Shall we go in now? I think it's time we went to bed.'
'I know it's time we went to bed,' Magnus retorted, and sliding his arm around her waist he urged her towards the castle.
They parted from each other reluctantly on Sunday afternoon after arranging to see each other the following weekend. During the week Magnus phoned her from the Macleishes' cottage, just to make contact with her, he explained, to hear her voice and make sure she was still in Glencross, and she was able to tell him that she had managed to get Friday afternoon off so that she could drive to Carroch and they would be able to have two nights together at the castle instead of only one.
Promptly at noon, Helen left the laboratory to walk to her car. All morning squalls of rain and wind had swept in from the sea and she wondered what it was like at Barracuish and if she would be able to cross the dangerous waters of the Carroch Strait to the island or if she would have to wait until the morning.
She fought her way against the wind around the corner of the hospital building and into the carpark, her head bent against the gusts. Only when she was near her car did she look up, and then her heart leapt. Someone was leaning against her car; someone in a yellow waterproof jacket, whose dark hair was wet and windblown.
'Magnus!' she gasped. 'How did you get here?'
'Archie was coming down to Glasgow, so I came with him and caught a bus from Glasgow to here.'
'Why didn't you come to the laboratory?' she asked, taking out her keys and unlocking one of the car doors.
'I wanted to surprise you,' he told her.
'Oh. Please get in the car,' she said, unlocking the door on the driver's side, 'or we'll get soaked.' Another squall of rain swept across the grey tarmac of the car park and hit the hospital building, rattling on roofs and windowpanes.
In the front of the little car they turned to each other and kissed long and greedily, holding each other closely.
'It was a wonderful surprise to see you,' Helen whispered. 'Oh, it's been an awful week, the longest I've ever known!'
'For me too,' Magnus replied. 'I had to come. I had to come and see you instead of you coming to see me. You see, I've decided I can't put up with not being sure of you. I can't go to Italy to make that film without being sure you'll be here for me to come back to. Eilidh, will you marry me?'
She stared at him, her eyes widening and beginning to shine.
'You mean it?' she whispered.
'I mean it. I've got to have some sort of commitment from you and I realise I can't possibly expect you to make a commitment to me unless I make a commitment to you, and that's what marriage is all about, isn't it?'
'Yes, that's what it's all about. Oh, yes, I'll marry you, Magnus. And thank you, thank you for asking me.' She slid her arms about his neck and kissed him gently and lovingly, because she guessed how hard it had been for him to decide on commitment.
'Then would you mind changing places,' he said when the kiss was over.
'What do you mean?'
'I'd like to drive so that we'll get to where we're going fast.'
'To Carroch?'
'No, not to Carroch. To wherever you parents live.'
'But why should we go there?'
'Because if we're going to do it, if we're going to be married, we're going to do it properly. I'm going to ask your father for your hand and we're going to be wed with all the trimmings. No half measures, Eilidh. No secret ceremonies. Agreed?'
'Agreed,' she replied, and hugged him fiercely. 'Oh, Magnus, I do love you!'
'So do I. Love me, I mean,' he said with a wicked glint. 'But I love you much more,' he added seriously. 'With all my heart. Now, how about changing places?'
Helen changed places willingly with him and the little car charged out of the car park at high speed, causing her to fasten her seatbelt hastily. Magnus was dangerous to know, and marriage to him wouldn't be always smooth and easy sailing. There would be many dangerous waters, full of whirlpools for her to navigate through, but being married to him would always be exciting and surprising. There would never be a dull moment.
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