He didn’t want to be her keeper. With his arms filled with the soft, voluptuous heat of a woman’s body, he wanted to be her lover.
He’d given her pleasure. He’d shown her the explosions of light that came with sexual release. The triumph was his. No other man would claim to be her first. That meant he would claim her virginity, too. In Tallis’s mind, it was a given. They would be lovers in all ways. Holding that firmly in mind had been the difference between tasting her feminine sweetness and burying his prick within her willing body. They’d been too tired. Too edgy. And he hadn’t trusted himself to be gentle. He wanted their first time to live up to the adventures they’d already shared, but he didn’t want to scare her. Dragon damn, he didn’t want to hurt her.
He wanted to make her gasp his name.
Just the thought aroused him. Eyes open. Hands tightening. Cock ready.
As a youth, so serious and proud of his intellect, he’d wanted to be Sath or Indranan—Dragon Kings whose minds ruled the day. He was beginning to see what a blessing his fury could be. There was no one stalking around the corner to take it from him, manipulate it, keep him from sleeping out of fear it would be used against him.
So, enough of that. He was a Pendray. He harbored a nasty beast down deep where most men stored ugly things. Fantasies about inflicting pain. Fantasies about rape and murder and theft and running away, because cowardice was just as ugly, just as worthy of concealing. Those uncivil fantasies glimmered like a distant mirage—moments where the mind took a backseat to very old instinct.
He opened his eyes fully. The sun had dipped toward the western horizon. Maybe three hours of daylight left. He stared. He didn’t blink. He felt a part of himself open to that dare, man against nature against beast. At his best moments, he was all three.
The beastly little bastard inside him wanted what it always did. Food. Fighting. Fucking. The order didn’t matter.
What did Tallis want?
I want to go home.
“Do you want to think about something else instead?” Kavya spoke directly against his throat.
“I thought you were sleeping.”
“No.”
“Lying here being bored?”
“Just resting.”
“Wait, think of something else,” he said. “What did you mean by that?”
Her gaze fixed on his. Wide. Unblinking. Did she see a fool? A killer? A lunatic?
What Tallis wanted, apparently, was for her to see someone else entirely, because he wanted her to see him as a good man. With his hand moving up and down her arm, then slipping lower to caress the span of her ribs, he wasn’t a good man at all. The beast’s dark thoughts spilled into his rational consciousness, twining sex and violence and tenderness with the image of Kavya—her splendor while nude and aroused. To see that would be a blessing unlike any he’d known because, unlike his visions of the Sun, Kavya would be real.
“Don’t worry. I wasn’t poking around in your mind. But like I said before, sometimes you feel things so strongly. Just now, you thought something sad and shocking. That’s all I know. So . . . I’m hoping it had nothing to do with waking here with me.”
Tallis exhaled. She phrased it in such a way as to leave the door open. He could explain, or he could move on. He wasn’t ready to explain. The raw impulse of wanting to return to Scotland wasn’t new, but he hadn’t felt its visceral punch so strongly before.
“Nothing at all. What about you? If you didn’t sleep, how did you occupy your time?”
She stretched. Was she purposefully pressing her high, firm breasts against his side? “I’ve been remembering what you did to me. I don’t want to wait until we get to a hotel. You need what I had. It would work some of the tension out of your body. You’re strung so tightly.”
“If I said I feel stiff, I’d have to admit to the shame of making an unbearably bad pun.”
She was beautiful when she frowned. Not serious. Not scolding, even. Just more inquisitive than usual. “Pun?”
“I’m stiff, Kavya. My prick. I woke up with you lying curled into me and I got ideas. Very quickly.”
“About us, no matter the sadness I felt.”
“Forget that. I’ve been honest about my desires from the moment I knew them myself. What I gave you was a prelude. You’re curious about me and even more curious about sex.” He tapped his temple. “I’ve got no psychic weapons up here to mess with your mind.”
“I know. I want to reciprocate. Here.”
Tallis grinned as if she’d made another teasing jest, but her expression revealed that same frowning inquisitiveness. “Wait,” he said. “You’re serious.”
“I am.”
Speaking bluntly, he wanted to test her resolve. “With your mouth or your hand?”
She inhaled, eyes so wide that he could see a ring of white around her amber irises. “My hand. Easier for you to guide me.”
He couldn’t help a groan, which banished her hesitancy and made her smile. It also made her bold. She fumbled with the button and zipper of his cargo pants until she’d made room enough to slip her fingers inside. “Fuck,” he said roughly.
“That’s the idea.”
“You have no idea.”
With her free hand, she guided his beneath the waistband of his briefs. He made a fist around hers. The pressure, the heat—Tallis arched his neck, greedy for air. How long had it been? He couldn’t remember. And he knew that no matter how much time passed, he’d never forget Kavya’s tentative pace becoming more assured.
She clutched him tighter. Her fingers were caught between his and the swelling ache of his hard-on. But Tallis was the one caught. He couldn’t focus. It was either close his eyes to savor the pleasure ripping up from the base of his spine, or watch Kavya. Watch her eyes as they darted from his face to where she’d bared his cock. Watch her parted lips as she began to softly pant. Watch as she learned the rhythm of his desire.
She propped on one elbow. Although awkward, she managed to yank open his shirt. Her awed sigh made Tallis feel powerful, that his body aroused this mind-blowing woman.
Smiling with age-old female trickery, she began to experiment. She pushed his fist away, changed the rhythm, teasing him, increasing the pressure, gripping his swollen head, pumping his long shaft.
“The old-fashioned way, Tallis,” she said, her voice breathy. “You can’t give me your thoughts. Give me your words.”
“You think I can speak now, lonayíp woman?”
“Yes.”
His head was spinning in circles that kept time with her strokes. “Don’t let up.”
“You made me feel amazing. Is this as good?”
“If you felt half of this, I did bloody well.”
She licked the fevered skin of his upper pectorals, then blew across the damp trail. “Beautiful.”
“I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. There. Like that—arching against me, your hips off the ground.” Kavya sounded overwhelmed. “I’ve never seen anything so powerful. I’ve never felt so powerful.”
“Faster.” He was thrusting up to meet every downward clench of her tight fist. So close, burning, he moved to enclose her hand in his once again.
“No,” she said sharply. “Mine.”
Leaning down, she found where his neck met his shoulder and sucked, licked, scraped her teeth across his heated flesh. It was her teeth, and the appreciative moan she hummed against his taut muscles—primal. Urgent. Earthy and strong. The combination sent him rocketing over the edge.
He cried out a hard curse and snapped rigid. The sky closed to black along with his eyelids. He didn’t see colors or stars; he only felt. Kavya pumped twice more before he came, streaking his abdomen with the hot proof of his release.
“Oh! Oh my.” The first was shock. The second was satisfaction. “That was . . .”
“Bloody fantastic,” Tallis scratched out. He tried to swallow but couldn’t. He needed water. He needed a steady breath. Later. “Are you sure you haven’t done this
before?”
“Never.” She licked up to his earlobe, then caught his lips in a kiss that balanced between sweet and savage. “But I liked it.”
“Not more than I did.”
A blush—her blushes were always a surprise—turned the apples of her cheeks golden pink. “That was all right?”
“Very all right.” He pulled her close for another kiss, this one sweet enough to make him think, if only for a moment, that they were the forever sort of people. That wasn’t the case and never would be.
After a cursory cleanup, he forced a smile. “We’ll definitely need another bath,” he said blithely. “Not that I’m complaining.”
“And there you go again.” Her eyes were hazy and distant, when she met his gaze at all. “Tallis gone. The Heretic returned.”
He stood sharply, which meant shoving her off and away. Not his favorite chore. He set about reassembling his armaments and looked down at Kavya, who’d brought her knees to her chest. Obviously she wasn’t in the mood to explain herself, and he wasn’t in the mood to listen. The orgasm that had held back his worries wasn’t strong enough to keep them at bay forever.
Still sitting, Kavya aligned her knuckles in that odd, fastidious way.
He couldn’t resist. Not again. “Why do you do that?”
Her brown eyes were lightened by the sun, which made them look more like caramel. She narrowed them, but beneath her outward aggression was a different timbre—as if she’d been caught doing something wrong. “What are you talking about?”
Tallis nodded toward her knotted hands. “Your fingers interwoven, clasped so exactly.”
“I do nothing of the kind.”
“Keep lying about inconsequential things and we won’t be allies much longer, let alone lovers.”
“I should only lie about the consequential things?”
He offered a rueful shake of his head. “I can spot the big lies. The little lies, though—they chip cracks in mortar and wear away stones. As powerful as the elements. So . . . your call.”
“You act like this is some sort of test,” she said.
“Why shouldn’t it be? If I’m going to make a plan with anyone . . .” He shrugged. “Then it’s all about trust.”
—
Kavya looked down at her interwoven fingers. “How did you know?” she asked softly.
“Just my eyes and a really strong desire to know who the hell you are.” He touched beneath her chin and urged her face up, up, until she couldn’t look away. “I had a dream version of you, and a version of you intended for the rest of your followers, and then . . . here you are. Forgive my curiosity.”
“They’re—” Kavya had to stop, swallow, start again. “They’re the mountains. My knuckles. They’re the mountains and valleys of the Northern faction, where I was raised. I’ve never liked their chaos. The randomness. Too many hiding places and secrets and places where the sun came over the ridge at different times, different intensities. Nothing could be counted on.”
“Your homeland.”
She nodded. “My mother showed me how to line up my fingers and the knobs of my knuckles just so.”
“Like that?” Tallis knelt and traced the even bumps. “Perfectly aligned?”
“Yes.”
“Order out of chaos?”
She unclasped her fingers and shook feeling back into her numb hands. “But not anymore.”
“Because I caught on? That’s not fair. I’ve been surrounded by shadows and mirrors for longer than I care to remember. I find one solid, reliable truth and a woman willing to open up and explain what it means—and what? Should I apologize? I won’t, Kavya.”
Standing, she grabbed his pack and adjusted her stance. Not exactly order out of chaos, but with the strong foundation of the mountains. “We’ll reach the nearest village in a half hour or so. Then you’ll need to steal a moped, not a car. You’ll learn why when we get into Jaipur. We should reach the Old City before dark. Perfect place to hide. Plenty of time to plan.”
Kavya kept her steps evenly paced although she was crumbling on the inside. Everything she’d known was shattered or frozen or covered in blood. Pashkah would find her, eventually, no matter where she bedded down for the night. The tension in her spine promised as much. Tallis had her back. He was a living, unpredictable cyclone—the same entity, but always changing speed, direction, force.
He caught up and walked beside her in silence, as if they hadn’t shared the most intimate acts of her life. Her feet ached and started to bleed, but she said nothing. The physiology of the Dragon Kings meant she would heal quickly once they took shelter for the night, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less in the moment. The agony built until she was burned by hot coals with every step.
“I need to stop,” she said abruptly.
He eyed her as if she were a tree that deigned to speak. “Are we far off?”
“No.”
“Then we keep walking.”
“I’m stopping.” She sat as abruptly as she’d spoken. Immediately she pulled one foot cross-legged into her lap. Blood covered her fingers.
“What in the Dragon?” Tallis squatted and balanced on the balls of his feet. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“You’re the one in tune with the physical world. Or maybe that ebbs for a while after you come.”
“So mouthy now that you know what you’re talking about.” He stared back along their trail. The tight defensiveness in his expression fell away. “Fuck.”
Kavya followed his line of sight. Smears of blood marked their progress. “Do you have any water left in the bottles?”
“Yeah. Give me one foot.”
“Why?” She pulled her stinging foot more closely against her body. “Just give me the water.”
“No.” He proved his will by pulling her leg across his lap. His strength was always such a glorious surprise. In this case, however, it was also infuriating when he tended her feet as if she were a child with a scraped knee.
“Fine,” she said tartly. “Start working on that plan.”
“You still want to unify your people.”
“Of course. Pashkah killed my allies. Now I look like a victim, a traitor, or a cohort. I need to restore that faith and work to fix the chasm between the factions.”
“Say that again,” he said, his blue-eyed glare made indigo by the shadows cast by the sun at his back.
“To fix the chasm? What of it?”
He drizzled water on her feet until the worst of the grit and blood washed onto the ground. Then he removed one of his seaxes and cut the wool lining from his jacket. Efficiently, he tied the wool in a field dressing that offered both absorption and padding. A layer of sliced leather followed, to give the sole more protection. Head bent, he concentrated on his task. His hands were respectful, if that was possible, but Kavya couldn’t help responding to the sensitive way his skin slipped along hers as he held her calf, her ankle. She wanted him to push farther up her legs and keep touching, to put his mouth on her again—or, more daring, to take what they both wanted. They both wanted Tallis to claim her virginity.
Kavya was tired of his erratic behavior, which seemed to include pampering her. She’d never been one to indulge her own needs. “You’re still being guided by forces I can’t understand,” she said. “I’ve been nothing but frank from the start. Start talking, or we part once we reach Jaipur.”
“We part when I say so.”
“I know these cities. I know their alleys. If I want to disappear, I will. You’ll never see me again.”
He offered a surprising nod. “Fine.”
“Fine that we’ll part or fine, you’ll talk?”
He tied off the second leather dressing, his expression grim. “The vision I’ve dreamed about . . .”
“The one you thought was me?”
“She planned to see the Five Clans unified. That was her phrase: the Chasm isn’t fixed. Every action I’ve taken was in deference to her larger vision. In a way, I was one of your
people. A true believer.”
“What changed?”
“Anyone can lose faith. The particulars are just that. Particulars.” He rubbed a hand over his face, then around his grit-smeared neck. He was more than a man; he was an explorer from another century. “The issue is what to do now. If I help you, I’m helping whoever’s been infecting my dreams. I won’t risk that. I’m no longer in her service. Once I figure out who or what she is, I’ll leave you to your mountain to climb, and get my life back.”
“Your life? Circling the world again? Wearing the word heretic around your neck like a weight? That’s a death sentence, like Nakul up in the valley. You might as well ask me to wipe your mind and have done with it.”
“What I do with my life is my choice.”
“Great plan so far, Tallis.” She grabbed the water bottle and took a hefty swig. That didn’t help swallow the fear that had balled in her throat. After wiping her mouth, she eyed him. “Why protest her goal of unification but support mine regarding the Indranan? Or are you just tagging along for the sex?”
Dust had filled the tiny lines at the corners of his eyes, and had cast an unnatural hue across his skin. “No,” he said darkly. “It’s because you’ve never commanded me to kill.”
CHAPTER
TWENTY
An hour after Tallis stole a moped, they arrived in the Old City of Jaipur.
Kavya had passed through Jaipur on occasion, always on her way to another place to regroup. Holding on to Tallis around his waist, she took the time to do what she’d never been able to. She soaked up the flavor of the famed Pink City. Clean, square-cut sandstone was the architectural theme, but that austerity was made romantic by pink paint on every possible surface. She’d never seen such a seamless blend of modern and ancient India. Neither era suffered. The union was unusual and beautiful, in ways that brought unexpected tears to her eyes. She was just tired. On so many levels. Being pressed against Tallis’s broad back for the duration of their trip hadn’t been relaxing. She’d spent that time poised between wanting to melt into his comfort and holding herself at a distance after the chilly end to their hours in the cornfield.
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