by Edwina Fort
I didn’t go into the lunch room…
Goodness, in the four years of me attending this school, I can count on one hand the times I’d eaten lunch in the cafeteria and those times had been the most tortuous.
My freshman year, he’d sat his beautiful chocolate, athletic frame down at my table and then while staring at me with a gaze that held me hypnotized, proceeded to eat my whole lunch. But what made it so bad is that I didn’t realize the whole cafeteria was laughing at me because his gaze had me completely paralyzed. I couldn’t believe that Tucker…The Tucker that was king of this school, even in freshman year, was sitting at my table, and not only that, he was looking at me.
It wasn’t until he’d finished eating my lunch, stood and walked away from me that I blinked, coming out of the trance he’d put me under to realize that everybody was laughing at me, including my two stepsisters, who were both one of the Beautiful Ones.
Tears came to my eyes as hot embarrassment washed over me. I got up and ran from the cafeteria and didn’t re-enter it till my sophomore year. This time I’d gone in with my new friend Rachel. She was a freshman and like me, she wasn’t rich or a part of the in-crowd. Her mom was a well-known prostitute, so she too suffered from bullying.
But her tormenter was Jackson, Tucker's right-hand man, and best friend…and a golden boy in his own right. His daddy was the town's sheriff, so he knew all about Rachel's mom and her home life and he teased her about it endlessly. Several times he'd made her cry.
Anyway, on the first day of school, she wanted to go into the cafeteria to eat lunch. I thought enough time had passed since the last debacle, so maybe it was safe. Boy was I wrong. I’d been pointing something out to her as we passed Tucker’s table, not paying attention, and right as I passed, he shot up from the table into my path, causing me to crash into him.
It was like hitting a brick wall. I flew to the ground hearing my glasses land somewhere by my head. My books and papers went everywhere. But that wasn’t the horrifying part, I’d been wearing one of my stepsister’s hand me down skirts that were slightly too big for me and the skirt flew up to my waist. Chaos erupted. I was on full display from my belly button down.
I could have died when Tucker’s eyes landed on my white underwear. I swear it seemed like time stood still.
I heard my stepsister Layla, the oldest twin yell… “Look, she’s wearing granny panties!” In a state of shock, I scrambled to try and gain control of my skirt and pull it down.
That moment was so unreal. The whole time my hands that were extremely clumsy in my shocked state was trying to gain control of my skirt. The look in Tucker’s gaze as he looked at my dark brown legs and belly button was throwing me for another loop.
I’d never seen hunger in the opposite sex’s eyes towards me before, so seeing it for the first time was a bit of a trip and seeing it in none other than the famous Tucker’s eyes had to be the biggest shock of them all. I had gotten the skirt down, but because I’d pulled too hard my belly was now exposed.
Nobody was paying attention to him, they were all laughing and pointing at me. But I was watching him, I saw him get an erection. And he didn’t try to hide it from me, which really made it all the more mortifying.
Rachel bent down and pulled down my shirt to cover my belly and then helped me up. Tears of embarrassment were blinding me, with trembling hands I put my glasses back on so that I could pick up my books and papers. Rachel helped me.
Still on my hands and knees, I'd retrieved every paper but my literature report. I recognized the black Jordan that stood on top of it and dread filled my being. Without looking up, I pulled at the report, but it didn’t budge.
Dear God, why does he have to torment me so? Slowly my gaze rose up the powerful bow legs encased in the black designer jeans that probably cost more than everything I have in my closet. The bulge was still there in his pants and I wondered if anybody else had noticed. My gaze continued up to a lean waist, further up to the massive chest and finally to a face too beautiful to belong to such an ugly individual.
I pulled at the paper, letting him know I needed him to move his foot.
“Say please…” Even in his sophomore year, his voice had been extremely deep. Tears came to my eyes. I didn't want to say please to him, I wanted to get a gun and shoot him.
“Please…” I told him with trembling lips, so embarrassed I was thanking God for my dark brown skin.
He didn't move his foot right away. Instead, his eyes swept over my face. The muscle ticked in his jaw and I wondered in that moment what he was thinking. My peers still laughed and cracked jokes about my grannie panties behind me, but he didn't seem to notice. It was something else going on in his psychotic mind.
His hand lifted as if it was going to caress my face, but he must have caught himself and lowered it. Then mercifully he moved his foot…
Oh God! That was so humiliating. And I’d like to tell y’all that was the most humiliating thing to happen to me, but then I’d be lying.
Junior year was hard for me. It was the year my father got killed by the brother of the woman he’d been cheating on Angie with. Long story…I’ll fill you guys in on that later. But his death left me at the complete mercy of Angie and my evil stepsisters.
The one good thing about it was that I’d found out he’d left money for me to go to college, which was perfect because Angie had told me more than once that she wasn’t paying for me to go.
Anyway, so my dad died. Although there wasn’t much love lost between us, it was still a little hard. But then junior year also meant I had to take swimming in gym. And as if God was just not in a giving mood, that year I had gym with Tucker, thus beginning my showing up for class late and leaving early.
However, one day, that didn’t work out for me. I’d entered the empty gym, because you had to walk through it to get to the locker rooms and then the pool, but it just so happened that Tucker and a few of his friends were also late and had entered the gym at the same time.
Because my mama didn’t raise no fool, I took off running towards the locker rooms, but I don’t know why I did that because it was like a red flag to a group of bulls.
“Catch her a**!” Tucker yelled and they took off after me.
And as if that day couldn’t get any worse, I had on one of Layla’s old skirts that of course was too big, so when Jackson caught me I went wild in his arms and my skirt fell down.
No, wait! That isn't the worst of it…
That day I had on these cute little pair of Hello Kitty underwear that I’d found on a discount rack at Walmart. Jackson, who didn’t know that my skirt had fallen, held on to my arms as I tried to pull them away from him so that I could pull up my skirt.
“Jackson! Let me go!” I cried…
“Okay…” he said before shoving me away from him, causing me to trip over my skirt and into Tucker’s waiting arms. It was then he saw that my skirt had fallen. When his surprised gaze fell to my panties, Tucker’s arms tightened around me as at that point he was practically holding me. My feet were just barely touching the floor.
“Don’t look at her!” He growled, sounding like he wanted to kill his friend.
Jackson held up his hands and turned and walked out of the gym. It was then when I saw that the other two boys that had been with them were also gone. Somewhere in the back of my mind, the danger of being alone with him had registered. But his possessiveness had me so confused; my adrenaline was pumping out of control…I had no idea what was going on.
Tucker eased me back down on my feet, in no hurry, pressing my body to his in a way that made me feel…I don’t know, hot?
I instantly reached down to get my skirt, but he beat me to it, snatching it away from me. I stood frozen in horror because the position he was in was quite scandalous. He was down on one knee in front of me. His face was so close to my center.
All my limbs had locked as my brain raced to try and process what was happening to me. Mean Tuck…the most popular boy in the w
orld was on his knee in front of me, staring at my Hello Kitty panties. He’d just growled at his friend for looking at me…as if—
All thoughts fled from my mind when I felt his big warm hands gently cupping my butt before he pulled me close pressing his face into my center.
My mouth opened in utter shock, but when I felt him inhale, something else went through me. Something I’d never felt before…
Arousal…
There in that gym Mean Tucker had awakened arousal in me.
“You smell so innocent. Damn, it smells good. I want to taste you…”
What?!
The sound of a door closing in the distance snapped me out of the lust filled haze he’d so cleverly put me in. I stumbled out of his hands and snatched my skirt from him before scrambling into it. The whole time he stayed on one knee and watched me with his hungry eyes.
When I got back situated, he grabbed the front of my skirt and yanked me till I was back in front of him.
“Stop, Mean Tuck!” I cried trying to push away from him, but he wouldn’t let me. He was so much stronger than me, my little shoves weren’t even causing him to budge.
“Why are you such a f***ing d**k tease?” He growled up at me.
I looked back to see if someone had come in the gym so that I could call for help. But unfortunately, they hadn’t.
“Let me go!”
“Answer me…” He was still down on his knee holding me pinned to him.
“I’m not.” My gaze went back to the door.
Please, somebody, come in and help me. I was in the hands of a backyard bully!
“Look at me, Free.”
I couldn’t…His eyes were too intense, and they worked havoc on my soul. He was my bully. He should never be able to get into my soul. I shook my head and he shook me…
“Look at me!”
My gaze lowered to his and I nearly groaned at the look I saw there.
“Why don’t you ever look at me? You look at Rachel and all the rest of your little geek squad rejects.”
I was now clutching his big shoulders to keep from falling. “They’re not rejects.”
“Why do you care so much for them? You won’t even f***ing look at me.”
And then a thought hit me. Is that why he was always picking on me?
It’s true, I had a small little group of friends. And yes, we were the rejects. But I did my best to make them feel special. No, we weren’t the Beautiful Ones, but we were the smart ones. When we were together, we laughed and talked about stuff that we were interested in and we completely ignored the Beautiful Ones…Something the rest of the school never did.
When the Beautiful Ones entered a room, everybody stopped to stare, especially if their king was with them.
Now here he was on his knee in front of me, asking me why I ignored him. Serves him right, someone should ignore him. He was used to things coming too easy for him. His looks coupled with his family’s money had completely spoiled him.
However, he was wrong about me not looking at him. I’d done more than that. I’d studied him. It was safe to say he was the reason I’d chosen to pursue psychology like my father. Earlier, when I’d said he suffered from multi-personality disorder, I was not simply venting, it’s true.
I don’t think anybody else noticed it, but Tucker can turn his emotions off like a light switch. He becomes a completely different person when he does. I’d only seen this happen a few times, and each time had been when he was fighting.
During sophomore year, another school had come to play us. Tucker and a member of the other team got in a fight. Something came over Mean Tuck and he ruthlessly beat that kid down. He beat him so bad that the coaches and other members of the team were afraid to get close to him to break it up.
When he was done and the kid was unconscious, he’d just stepped over the guy, leaving him bleeding on the ground and never even looked back.
Apparently, that guy was in a gang, because a few days later, he came back with some of his friends. They showed up thinking because Tucker was rich, he was going to be afraid of them.
Goodness, I’ll never forget the look on his face when the change came over him. He wore an evil grin as they jumped out their cars yelling and posturing like boys their age do, telling him what they were going to do to him. They were yelling out the name of their gang.
Not impressed in the least, Tucker made eye contact with Jackson, who’d been leaning on the gate, and then, I kid y’all not, Jackson and Tucker proceeded to whoop those guys’ tails…and I can’t prove it, but I think that Tucker and Jackson may have taken it a step further. A few days later, the bodies of some of the gang members were found with their necks broken.
Of course, being the sons of the Mayor and the town’s sheriff, nothing happened to Tucker and Jackson. The cops didn’t even come and question them. He and Jackson were hailed as some kind of heroes for defeating a gang of boys by themselves. But when word got out that some of those same guys had been found dead, people started to speculate that it was Tucker and Jackson.
I don’t know if he did it or not, but I know that the guy who he’d beaten up on the other team never came back with any more of his friends, and when his school played ours again later in the season, he didn’t come with them.
I was convinced that the Tucker that beat up those guys is not the same Tucker that terrorized me. The Tucker that terrorized me was the one here before me. He cared about things, like whether or not I saw him.
That other Tucker, the Tucker I think may have broken those guys necks, didn’t care about anything. He didn’t show signs of feeling any emotion at all.
“I care for them,” I told him, referring to his question about my friends who he and his posse referred to as the geek squad. “Because nobody else does. There are some of us whose life hasn’t been all that kind to.” And then I snatched away from him and walked towards the locker room.
I expected him to come after me or try and trip me…or throw something at me, but when none of that happened and I made it to the door that led into the locker room in one piece, I risked a peek back at him and was surprised to see him still on his knee where I’d left him watching me.
Senior year, he’d started invading my sanctuary… The library. He would do things like snatch whatever book I was reading from me and toss it in the toilet or pour his soda all over it right when I’m at a good part.
I’d tried to tell Ms. Grey, the school librarian on him, but just like every other teacher here, she was completely enamored with him, and wouldn’t even begin to lift a finger to serve him with a disciplinarian action.
He got away with murder, literally and figurately. Because he’d taken the football team to state all four years and brought back a championship, the whole town loved him. I couldn’t even call the cops on him, because he was the sheriff’s son best friend.
I tried to tell Angie that I needed help because he was bullying me and she’d only laughed…
“Yeah right! The Pelletier boy is not thinking about you.” She gestured toward me. “Look at you, what is there to think about? He’s probably just picking on you trying to get one of your sister’s attention. You know how boys that age are.”
I wanted to laugh at that. Both Layla and Laureen have been trying to be Mean Tuck’s and Jackson’s girls for all four years of high school and probably before that, I wasn’t here to know for sure. But because he and most of his friends had slept with them and the rest of the cheerleaders, I don’t think he looked at them as girlfriend material.
In fact, I don’t think he looked at any girl here as girlfriend material because I have yet to hear about him having a girlfriend, although I’ve heard about him sleeping with girls plenty.
Nevertheless, Angie was no help. Although my mom had named me Free, I felt far from it. Mean Tuck held me prisoner to his cruelty and there was nothing I could do about it. As you can see, he can murder me and nobody would even bat an eye because he was the town’s golden boy.
Yes…I was counting the days before I was free of this hell that was my life.
Most girls dreamed of prom night. They sat starry-eyed and imagined how they would look in their beautiful gowns and how good they will look standing next to their princes.
Not me…I dreaded it and wouldn’t have gone if Angie hadn’t forced me.
“You only get one prom. Every girl should have those memories to hold on to.” Then she handed me twenty-five dollars and told me to go shopping for what I needed.
Twenty-five dollars…
Lucky for me, Rachel is the thrift store queen. She often bragged about her skills. Although I was dreading prom night, she and I had fun shopping for it. We rode the bus to Michigan City and made a day of it.
“You know what’s so bad? Right now, your stepmom and sisters are probably sitting in some fancy fitting room sipping champagne while they get fitted for the gowns.” Rachel said as she and I looked through the racks at one of her favorite thrift stores.
I shrugged. “Angie once told me that she didn’t owe me anything…” I paused for a moment. “And you know what? She’s right. She doesn’t owe me nothing. Both of my parents are dead, and really everything she does for me is just from her good will.”
Rachel rolled her beautiful eyes. Like her mom, she was what folks around these parts called an exotic beauty. I don't know where her people originated from, but she looked as if she was from the Pacific Islands somewhere.
If she hadn’t been forced to wear her mother’s scarlet letter, somebody like Jackson would be competing with the other boys for her hand rather than torturing her, because he knew nobody cared what happened to the town prostitute’s daughter.
