by bob chartain
bends and picks him up and carries him. He GROWLS at Tuffy.
RACHEL
Mittens, can't you and Tuffy
ever be friends? Jenny, this
is such a wonderful party. Are
there any nuts in that cake? Jenny, there's a tear in your eye. Here.
Rachel wipes it with a birthday napkin.
?RACHEL
Why are you crying?
You're supposed to be happy.
Didn't you get your pony?
Jenny shakes her head.
JENNY
My Dad's not here.
Hadji aside to Emma.
HADJI
(whisper)
We'll wait until Hamp gets home
to give her the pony.
Emma nods an agreement.
RACHEL
I know. Let's go out to the gazebo and have a tea party like we always do. That's always fun.
EXT. ON THE MANSION LAWN - DAY
A group of MOTHERS exchange small talk, including DAVITA, Rachel's most of the time trashy/trampy mother.
DAVITA
I do hope Hampton is here.
PREGNANT MOTHER
We know what you want Davita.
DOWDY MOTHER
I hope you never get your hands on him.
DAVITA
Why would you say that.
DOWDY MOTHER
You'd devour him and spit him out.
DAVITA
But I'm sure he'd be tasty. Besides I haven't got a chance he's still hung up on his wife. Oh, I do like this new music.
PREGNANT MOTHER
Wasn't she lost in the Amazon about ten year ago.
FASHION PLATE MOTHER
(watching Hadji)
Look at that guy. He's so cute.
DAVITA
He and Hamp have been together since the war in North Africa in forty four. He's the most devoted servant I've ever seen.
Hadji walks from the house, wearing a bright orange tunic and a turban. FASHION PLATE corners him.
HADJI
Such beautiful ladies. Can I be of service?
PREGNANT MOTHER
Excuse me, my friend here would like to know when Mr. Rhodes is due to arrive?
DOWDY MOTHER blushes and moves her hand to her face.
HADJI
I'm afraid Mr. Rhodes has extended business in South America.
But, he is expected back today.
Hadji has a large gathering around him. He pulls a silk scarf from his pocket and holds it up like "Houdini".
HADJI (CONT'D)
Children, children, gather round. Are you ready for the great Hadji? Magic! Magic. Your wish is my desire.
SMALL CHILD
No more rabbits.
Rachel and Jenny move toward Hadji.
RACHEL
How about Jenny's Dad? Make him appear so Jenny's happy.
HADJI
I wish I could Missy Rachel, but.
He lifts the silken cloth from the large CRYSTAL ball. A jungle - Something moves in it. Jenny moves closer to see.
ext. IN THE CRYSTAL BALL - DAY
Hamp, with machete, slashes through the jungle. Shadowy shapes pursue him. Hadji quickly drops the kerchief and lifts it again to produce a basket of chocolate eggs which he offers to the children. He bends to Jenny.
JENNY
What are those dark creatures that are following my Dad? Are they headhunters?
HADJI
Child, your father is in the jungle looking for your mother.
JENNY
She's dead. She died when I was a baby.
HADJI
He received a letter. He said it had information about your mother.
JENNY
Why didn't he tell me?
HADJI
He didn't think you were old enough.
JENNY
Old enough? Hadji, I'm ten years old. I'm practically an adult.
HADJI
We'll talk about it tonight. I believe your old enough to understand.
INT. THE KITCHEN, - DAY
Emma prepares more chocolate chip cookies and punch. Rachel bursts through the screen door. Jenny follows absently.
EMMA
I'll bet you girls want some cookies and punch. Jenny, what's wrong.
JENNY
Guess I was just thinking about how much Dad must have loved my mother.
RACHEL
Come on Jenny. Mrs. M, we want to take some cookies and tea out to the gazebo and have a party.
EMMA
Rachel, I made you a special batch without nuts.
RACHEL
Thanks, I'm starved.
EMMA
Jenny, what did Hadji tell you?
Jenny stares a thousand yarder.
EXT. EDGE OF THE WOODS SURROUNDING THE MANSION - DAY
A group of little COWBOYS captures a little INDIAN, dressed like Tonto and tie him to a tree. One little COWBOY aims a suction cupped dart gun at the apple on the Indian's head. He fires and it misses and hits the Indian between the eyes.
MONTAGE OF SHOTS: of the party getting wilder. The bored mothers continue their kibitzing. A RED HEADED GIRL runs from behind a bush, chased by a LARGE BOY.
LARGE BOY
That's no fair, I showed you.
You tricked me. I'm going to get you.
CHILDREN smash into adults and are ignored. Emma walks from the kitchen door toward Hadji. She claps her hands.
EMMA
Settle down, I mean it.
Oh Hadji, I have always tried to
bring civility to this family.
Just look at these mothers. They
don't care. Just listen to the music.
EXT. THE GAZEBO - DAY
Jenny and Rachel deep in their ritualized tea party as ? several CHILDREN race around them. The "Teddy Bears Picnic" plays on the victrola.
JENNY
Some for Tuffy and some for Mittens.
RACHEL
Jenny, do you think you'll
ever like boys - like
most of the other girls our age?
JENNY
Don't be silly, Rachel.
I have my Dad. And I have Tuffy.
That's all I need.
RACHEL
Silly, Tuffy's just a stuffed bear.
JENNY
Maybe to you, but Tuffy's been with me since I was a baby. He helps me remember my momma, he's a magical bear.
Tuffy and Mittens both sit on their own chairs. Mittens studies Tuffy with a snarl on his face.
RACHEL
Jenny, you're crazy. I really like
Ronnie, he's so dreamy. James
really likes you.
JENNY
James is a sissy. At least If I'm going to find a boyfriend he's got to be someone just like my Dad.
Oh Rachel I know my Dad's in big trouble. I can feel it.
RACHEL
Did Hadji or Mrs. M tell you?
JENNY
Everyone thinks I'm too young
to understand.
RACHEL
Oh Jenny I'm sorry. They can't
understand us. They don't even try. They think we are just children.
EXT. THE TREE - DAY
The little Indian boy breaks loose from his bonds and races into the woods. The little Cowboys follow in hot pursuit. The words from the "Teddy Bears Picnic" come UP.
If you go into the woods today
You'd better go in disguise
If you go out in the woods today
You're in for a big surprise. If you go into the woods today you'd better go in disguise etc.
HOPALONG COWBOY
Get him.
GENE AUTRY COWBOY
Lets scalp him.
The little Indian races through the heavy underbrush. He trips and stumbles forward into a pair of dark, painted legs with tasseled ankle bracelets. He looks up at the ominous - HEADHUNTER from the
Amazon - The Headhunter has a bowl cut orange powdered hairdo, a red and white painted face and a long striped blow gun.
THE TINY INDIAN BOY SCREAMS - but the Headhunter ignores him and moves silently back into the undergrowth. There's a sudden SHRILL WHISTLE as -
Ext. DOZENS OF HEADHUNTERS DROP FROM THE TREES -dAY
and move quickly to the garden. The little Indian boy runs ahead, through the gate, SCREAMING. Hadji runs to the gazebo and gathers the girls under his arms.
JENNY
Stop Hadji, What? What's wrong?
HADJI
No time, danger, Missy.
JENNY
They're Headhunters aren't they? They came from the Amazon. They were in the crystal ball weren't they?
RACHEL
Oh don't be silly, Jenny.
Hadji races to the basement entrance.
INT. DARK BASEMENT - DAY
Hadji pushes the girls into an opening in the wall.
HADJI
Hurry.
RACHEL
You must be kidding. You're going to ruin my clothes.
HADJI
Move it, Rachel.
Hadji moves a discarded wardrobe cabinet over the opening.
RACHEL
Hadji, I'm scared.
HADJI
Quiet little ones. I'll be back.
JENNY
Hadji knows what he's doing. Besides Tuffy will protect us.
RACHEL
Tuffy's just a stuffed bear. Just look at my clothes. Tuffy won't buy me a new dress. It's easy for you Jenny, but this is the first new dress I've had in two years.
JENNY
Rachel, you'll find out someday - Tuffy's more than just a stuffed toy. Be quiet.
?
INT. THE KITCHEN, - DAY
Emma mixes batter, then pulls cookies from the oven, ignoring the NOISE outside. Silently, the screen door opens, a headhunter tiptoes in behind her. The savage stops and smells, then reaches for a cookie rather than Emma. Emma catches something in the corner of her EYE GLASSES. Several more savages join the cookie theft.
EMMA
I see you. Put it back and wait like the rest of the children. You're incorrigible - Spoiled little rich kids, that is what you are. You just don't understand "NO"
In a graceful move, Emma twists, grabs a broom and swats the cookie snatchers.
EMMA (CONT'D)
Now shoo. Shoo.
The savages fall back, but grab as many cookies as they can. Emma sweeps them out the door, then -
EMMA (CONT'D)
Oh, my God, they really are savages.
- faints, head first into a bowl of cookie batter.
EXT. THE GARDEN, - DAY
Several mothers watch the children scamper as the headhunters climb over the brick walls like monkeys.
pREGNANT MOTHER
Now isn't that clever, you never know what you're going to see at a Rhodes party. They're so wonderful. What will they think of next?
dOWDY MOTHER
Hamp always does things in such a grand manner.
DAVITA
That little one over there is just darling.
FASHION PLATE MOTHER
Oh Davita, You like
