Just crashed in bed with my plate of nuggets and a yummy salad with TONS of salad dressing, and my can of Coke. I’m about to put ‘Dawson’s Creek’ on, Gizzy’s curled up at my feet…perfect night.
And I have plans!!! I love when I know I have social outings to go to!!!
I’ll be partying tomorrow night, Saturday Nat and I are going house hunting, Saturday night, Nat, Anita and I are going out to dinner, and Sunday I plan on taking my baby (car) down the coast on my own, and Sunday arvo is the Broncos versus the Roosters game!!!
I love it when I have plans. I just feel better about life.
At work today, Angela Jones had the loveliest chat with me after I took all her orders. She overheard me at that course saying, “I’ve gotta start that one,” to the course lady declaring we should all ‘Enjoy a healthy sex life!’
(yes, it was one of those hippy dippy courses)
I cracked up laughing on the phone when she said it, but she was deadly serious, determined to give me her sage, New Agey, hippy dippy advice.
(that I appreciate and love she cares enough about me to share it)
She said I have to go to bed with a glass of wine, light some candles
(love candles to be specific…what the fuck are love candles??),
then write a list of the qualities I want my (imaginary) man to have. Then every night before going to sleep, I have to read through the list and conjure up my Mr Right.
I hope it works.
So my list (so far) looks like this, written on pink paper from the office
(I started scribbling soon as I got off the phone from Angela):
Tall
Muscular arms
Kind
Funny – so funny I’m at risk of dying of laughter
Serious – at times, to balance the extreme funniness
Strong – mentally and physically. Must be strong to handle me
Tall
Loves me for ME
Truly sees who I am, and loves me for it
Appreciates who I am
Loves Dawson’s Creek and Moonlighting and IS NOT gay
Thinks Pacey is the one for Joey
Reads
Tall
Wants to be with me every night YET gives me my nights to myself
TALL
Has a sexy voice
Is sexy
Is loads of fun
Protective of me, nurturing, wants to make his existence looking after and loving me
Loves to watch 80’s movies with me
Tall
Angela said I’m beautiful and the right guy will come along.
ISN’T SHE SO SWEET?????
Daryl Agnew and Jessica Jenkins gave me great compliments today too.
(oh, to be loved by the reps, it’s so delicious!!!!!)
Dag
(Daryl Agnew, in case I’m confusing you, Diary…that came about cause we call the boss, Daryl Young, DY, and, in invoicing particularly, we see D. Agnew all the time, and shorten him to Dag. Just fits, too, cause he is a dag!!!!)
says he doesn’t know what the girls did without me, that they do NOWHERE NEAR (he emphasized these words, not me) as good a job as me, and Jess said I’m so good at taking orders over the phone, in this shocked and amazed voice
(I have returned to work from all this time off to a new office, new products, new packaging, AN ENTIRE GODDAMN NEW COMPUTER AND INVOICING SYSTEM, and mastered it like a pink boss),
and for Jessica to notice and compliment me, was huge. She doesn’t give out praise easily. She’s a tiny powerhouse of perfection, a little workaholic
(and playaholic – all the reps and bosses are a strange mix of both, like they own this life, they’ve figured out it’s about both, playing hard and working hard, and playing while you work)
focused Kylie Minogue type machine. Everything is put in her diary, her figures book, her sales folder, her copy of her salon orders folder, her monthly folder, her yearly folder, her Million Dollar Club folder (I imagine)…she gives out mini bottles of champagne and chocolates at Christmas to all of her salons (and to all us girls in the office).
Jessica Jenkins is kind of my idol.
Jenny, a Victorian rep, and I had a big powwow today, too. She’s so sweet!!! She’s like the dorky, struggling, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing sales rep. Her orders are always very small (not like the Queensland reps, and Rob and Judi in Vic), and don’t add up to much. And she always has this defeated note in her voice at the end of the day.
(truth be told, I think she gives up at lunch time and goes home and cries over shampoo for the rest of the day)
Makes me ADORE her.
I actually finished on time today. Gotta organize clothes for the opening!!
Friday 18 August 2000
7.30am
I’m pretty excited about the opening night tonight. I wish Evvy was coming, but oh well.
I feel so happy, cause it just feels like Evvy will become more loving, we’ll have something more real one day, and I’m just so darn happy and hopeful about it.
Upset by Sher though yesterday. Going from we used to have lunch every day together, to her having lunch with Katie every day…it’s hurtful.
Then the other day, AGAIN
(I’m a sucker for punishment, I have to be beaten down like a puppy to take a hint…and even then, I’ll still get up, beaten and bloody, and go ‘you still love me, right??’),
I asked her if we were going to do our magazine day, LIKE WE’VE DONE EVERY SINGLE WEEK FOR FOREVER, and she goes, “I don’t know!”
What kind of rejection is ‘I don’t know?’
(a hurtful one, that’s what)
If you’re gonna reject me, at least make it good!!!! Make it spectacular!!!!
THEN yesterday, she pretended she would go to lunch with me, then declared she couldn’t wait 20 minutes for me to go on my lunch break, and went with Katie instead!!!
I was so hurt.
It was just sly and hurtful and obvious.
She’s too busy on weekends with Katie now, to go out with me on our fairy outings like we used to. She promised she’d go clubbing with me when I was better, and none of that has happened. And she bought Blink tickets with Katie after I bought two fucking tickets for her and me!!!!
Saturday 19 August 2000
8.49am
Evvy just rang and woke me up!!!
I can’t believe it.
And though in principle it seems like an amazing thing, him actually ringing me and waking me up on a Saturday morning
(what a great way to wake up, to his voice),
he was a bit weird and flat on the phone.
I don’t know why he was really calling, cause he said not much, and he was at Twin Waters for golf I thought.
He did ask me what I was doing today, and I replied househunting with Nat, then he got all weird after that, the withdrawn Everard personality arrived, where he makes it known with his tone of voice that he doesn’t care and he’s too busy for this crap.
(even though he called me)
I asked him if he was going clubbing tonight, cause Nat, Anita and I are thinking of going in, and he just replied, “I don’t know.”
(Those damn 3 words again. Very annoying. They’re not the 3 words I wanna hear from people)
He just didn’t seem very interested.
WHAT DID HE WANT THEN??????
God, analyzing men is so stressful. Why can’t they just be open and honest??
I made damn sure I slipped into the stilted conversation that Josh came last night in his place. He did not seem happy about that!
SUCKED IN.
He knows he can have me, he’s choosing not to be a real boyfriend, so he has no right to be jealous over Josh!!
But, MAN, am I glad he is!!!
So now, with no plans made by him, it’ll be another weekend before I see him.
Beth said if I truly want him, to go after him.
Big of her, considering how much she
hates him.
Chapter 7
BUT WHERE DID HIS BALLS GO???
Sunday 20 August 2000
6.22pm
Such a busy weekend (thank God). I’ve just crawled into bed with bacon carbonara (from a packet) and a can of Coke.
I haven’t even told you about Friday yet, and opening night.
Well…I got no break again that day, and Nat and I were the only suckers left till 5pm working upstairs, while absolutely EVERYBODY ELSE got to be downstairs, outside, ‘pretending’ to set up, but were really just drinking.
(not sure why I quote marked the pretend and not the set up)
Then it was suddenly five o’clock and Renee came up to fetch us, putting on the answering machine and saying, “Come on, girls!! It’s opening night!!!’, like we were doing something wrong answering the damn phones and taking orders and handling errors and customer complaints.
Ugh!!
Then it was opening night.
It wasn't as good as I was expecting... I didn't even touch up my make-up before going downstairs to it…
(okay, at 4.30pm I did)
Dan and Josh came, and I spent most of the night talking to Josh. I got a bit tipsy, but not my usual drunk. I felt a bit flat all night. Josh was VERY drunk, and it was a little embarrassing actually.
Matt spent most of the night hanging around me actually. He is adorable. He brought a date, and I must admit, I was so jealous. She was like incredibly gorgeous. And they got on so well. Laughing and joking together constantly. Her name was
(past tense, cause I can't even deal with her in a present tense kind of way)
Gemma.
(she so looked, and acted, like a Gemma!! Why are Gemmas always hot?! It's like a hot name, and if a parent names their child Gemma, she will grow into her name and her hotness)
He made a point of telling me she was just a friend. I made a BIG point of telling everyone Josh was just a friend.
I walked upstairs at one point early in the night, to check my lipstick and make up, and walked right in on Dag (Daryl Agnew) getting done up as a drag queen.
"No, you have to TUCK my balls right under, just GRAB THEM and pull them between my ass crack."
Sue Agnew was doing something to Daryl Agnew I never wanted to see in my lifetime.
"Oh God!"
Sue started laughing madly from between her husband's legs.
"Pinky," Dag said calmly in his drag queen voice. His makeup was perfect and over the top, and he had his prewig scalp cover on and gigantic false eyelashes. "How do I look darling?"
"I think I've just gone blind." I turned to flee, covering my eyes, and ran into the wall.
Sue was still laughing.
I mainly spent the night
(once I recovered my eyesight)
out in the car park area, where tables of food and drink had been set up, and a little stage area for speeches and Daryl Agnew's drag queen routine. I was very happy just standing around, champagne in hand, chatting to everyone and looking up at the stars.
God, the stars. Cause it's a new industrial area, all the land has been cleared and we're like one of just a handful of buildings in the area. And it's in the middle of nowhere, the new building, way out near the Port of Brisbane and the Gateway Bridge. So there's no buildings or lights, just plenty of stars. I tend to get a bit melancholic when I see the stars like that. I feel both joyous and weepy and sad at the same time. Like there's a whole UNIVERSE out there I'm not seeing. That there's so much I can do and BE. I don't know why the stars make me a bit weepy and overwhelmed. But they do.
So Matt hung around me (with Gemma), and Benny did too. Was fun. Benny and I can just muck around and fool around and it's just fun.
And he is tall. Super, dooper tall.
(I don’t know why I constantly mention that. But I do)
When Daryl Agnew came out in his corset and big freaking tail feather thing and big wig, Benny went, “But where did his BALLS GO?”
(because, seriously, his corset was so tight, Dag’s YOU KNOW area, seriously looked like a girl’s! It’s like he had camel toe happening. It was a very relevant question – where did his balls go?? – unfortunately I now knew the answer. And wish I didn’t)
“Oh, I SAW WHERE HIS BALLS WENT,” I replied. We laughed madly.
Benny and I have got a bet going actually, because I saw Aaron
(Benny’s best mate and he used to work at Sin with us)
Friday morning as I drove in the Metroplex's entrance, and I waved to him and he waved back.
But BENNY reckons there's no way it was Aaron. So bet is on!! Then he kept laughing at me tipsy, and saying to Nat
(who was looking down on us all, but most especially her boyfriend and Josh, because they really were acting like idiots)
remember the time they couldn't get me off the floor.
(that was at Dicey Riley's last year that, funnily enough, I don't remember)
Anyway, that was about all that happened.
Nowhere near as exciting as I was expecting it to be. Usually Sin things are over the top and FUN. I mean, yeah there was food and drink and speeches, and speeches with the bosses wives all teary and joyous, and Daryl Agnew with his balls strapped under him and wearing lingerie and stockings but meh...
You've seen it once, you've seen it all was my feeling.
The whole night just didn't have the same fun it normally would have. It was a bit flat.
Those damn stars.
Nat made me leave early
(we left Dan and Josh there, who were giggling like schoolgirls to each other, Josh holding a bottle of champers, Dan a vodka bottle...those boys!!),
and we both ended up crying on the way home! Too much alcohol. She's so unhappy all the time. I can't figure out WHY.
So I came home and died. Everything hurt, all my bones ached from the week at work. I was physically exhausted.
So Evvy rang in the morning, then straight after, Richie!! He’ll be home soon!!
Anyway, then Nat and Dan turned up, and we went house hunting. It was fun; we found two great houses. We put an application in for both. Oh, it's exciting!!
Then I was at Dad's all arvo with them. I got home about 4.30pm, then at 7pm Nat and Dan picked me up and we went to Ribbett's.
God it was heaven on earth. So yummy. I rang Evvy before going to Ribbetts, to see if he was going clubbing, and he said he didn't know what he was doing, then I asked him to come to Ribbetts, and he was all, "No." Just like that. "No."
So I was feeling really rejected.
Anita cancelled on us, and after Ribbetts I wanted to go clubbing, but Nat and Dan wouldn't go! They were being boring old fuddy duddies! So then I was upset, because I've got no friends! No one to go clubbing with! No one to go out with. It was just depressing.
So I just admitted defeat and went back to Dad's and watched ‘Lethal Weapon 2’ with all of them, Dad, Cruz, me, Nat and Dan spread across all the couches in the tiny living room.
It was good to see Dad and Cruz.
Anyway, so Dan drove me home around 11, in one of his rare, quiet, non-happy, non-raring to go moods.
(what is wrong with everybody this weekend?? Or is it me?)
Today I got up early, thought ‘stuff the world and all my no friends,’ and drove down the coast. What a great day it was! So refreshing. The beach so uplifts me. Makes me feel everything is okay again.
I drove right down to Coolangatta, and sunbaked on the beach. Was the most gorgeous day... blue sky for an eternity, matched only by the blue ocean far as the eye could see.
I looked around at the shops at Coolangatta, stopped in to see Faye and Gordon where they're staying, but they weren't in. Found a cool secondhand CD place, where I picked up a Blink 182 sticker for my baby
(car, not Everard... "Here Everard, have a sticker!!" SLAP!! Right on his stupid sexy forehead),
then I headed to Pacific Fair. I love Pac Fair. So 80's Surfers Paradise. Like the old Grundy's Mall. So Surfers 80's.
I love 80's Surfers Paradise SO MUCH!! So much I could eat it! I can just about FEEL how incredible Surfers Paradise was back in the 80's. Even better, the 60's! And the Pink Poodle Motel!! So iconic.
I love the Gold Coast. Best place in the world (I imagine).
Then I walked in the door at ten to four, spewing, cause there was only 10 minutes of the game left!!!
I walked in to Nat and Dan ringing too, and everyone (the cool crowd) was over at Josie's for the game, and I was invited!!
(goddamn my restless spirit. If I'd just been home...)
Dan was all, "We've been trying to get you ALL DAY," and threw in things like, "Oh, yeah? And how was he?" and "You are such a social butterfly, Pinkalicious," to me responding, "What guy?? Are you drunk? I went by myself!!"
Shampoo Page 12
