“What does all that crap even mean?? It means nothing!”
“It means everything to me!”
“Then you need to go with these guys who’ll give it to you!”
“Fine! Then just let me go!”
“If I let you go, you’re not coming back, are you?”
I thought about denying it, but I was done. Almost. “Probably not, no.”
“Then I’m not letting you go.”
My head dropped to his chest again, and he held me tighter to him. There was something so incredibly romantic and heartfelt about the moment.
Romantic and FINAL. We could have been REALLY OUTSTANDING together. If he’d just let the fuck go and allow himself to FEEL LOVE for me.
I could smell the break up in the air.
“I don’t want to give you romance!” Ever finally cried.
It was like a slap in the face to me. “I mean it, Ever, let me go. I am beyond pissed – ”
His arms suddenly dropped from around me. I jumped out of his bed, didn’t even look back when he called out, “Bye!!!!” in his smartassed manner.
I got in my car, started the engine, and drove away with a roar
(thank God for Holden Commodores for dramatic effect),
and promptly burst into tears.
I was crying so hard I put the windshield wipers on, not understanding why I couldn’t see.
That is the last time I cry over him. He doesn’t think I’m worth it.
So HE is not worth ME!!!
Julia wasn’t at work today, so I was really busy.
I also had the foresight to call her and check on her, after her Spew Madly incident Friday night. Apparently, it was still spewing madly.
(ahhh, alcohol, the gift that keeps on giving)
I missed her heaps today. Work is so much more fun and funnier with her beside me.
I rang Julia tonight when I got home, to check on her and tell her I miss her, then rang Richie. He wants to cook me dinner Friday night, but I’ve got ‘sort of’ plans with Graham. So I said, “We’ll see.”
I am so going to bed in this lovely peace and quiet (Nat and Dan aren’t here).
Chapter 11
A ROMANTIC GOLD COAST DIVE
(STARDUST)
Friday 29 September 2000
12.52am
I just got in from my ‘date.’
Was supposed to be my date with Matt, but he bailed.
I am up so late lately, every day is merging into the other.
Thursday
(today still, for me, since I haven’t gone to bed yet)
at work was SO BUSY. I got up at the crack of dawn
(there’s Dawn’s Crack again),
to cover Julia’s shift and mine, and worked 6.45 till 5.45pm, and I was FLAT OUT all day. I didn’t move from my desk. At 5.45pm, I ran to the upstairs kitchen and drank cup after cup of water, I was so parched like some pink camel that can’t store water.
And Matt stood me up!! Can you believe??? Cause I fucking can’t!!!
He didn’t show up for work, and I figured he’d ring me during the day to let me know if he was well enough or not, but he didn’t ring!
Meanwhile, Evvy
(I repeat, EVVY)
rings at home at 5pm, then Dan rings me at work to tell me Evvy called asking for me.
(God he’s good as my little secretary)
I just about fell off my seat at work.
I didn’t ring him back. One for me in this round!!!
(this Round of Stupid)
When I got home after 6pm, I rang Matt, and he was totally MONOSYL, saying he’s not going, and I just put on my chirpy, cool chick voice and said, “That’s cool!!!”
So then I was FORCED to ring Ever back, cause the suspense was killing me, and I didn’t have my date to go leave on now to distract me and stop me calling him.
So I ring Everard back, and we had a MASSIVE I don’t know what you’d call it. It kinda went like this:
“Can you come over?” Evvy.
“Nut SORRY.” Oh, I was so pissed.
“Sigh. I see you’re in your DIFFICULT mood.” Stupid Everard.
“Ha! Me?? Least I wasn’t BORN DIFFICULT.” Me. Oh so smart a comeback.
“Here we go.” Evil Spawn.
“NO, no here we go. I’m over it!” Most perfect pink Angel on earth.
“What are you over?” Dumbass.
“This!! You! Your crap!” Angel. Still.
“Ugh. Like you’re a stroll in a park!” Asshole!!
“Indistinct murmuring by me.” I’d lost it.
“You’re like a FREAKIN’ ROLLERCOASTER RIDE, after you’ve EATEN THREE HOTDOGS and a PINK FUCKING MILKSHAKE, and you don’t know whether to FUCKING LAUGH, or FUCKING HURL YOUR GUTS UP – ” Mega Asshole!!!
“HO HO HO HO HO!!!! I guess that would seem LIKE A ROLLERCOASTER, for a guy that CAN’T GO OUT ON A SUNDAY EVER, cause he has WORK THE NEXT DAY!!!” Angry Angel.
“Ha ha ha, WHATEVER WOMAN – ” Devil. 666. He was seriously laughing!
“You’re like TWO – ” Pink Angry Angel.
“If I’m two, YOU’RE THREE – ” Doesn’t even make sense, this comeback.
“Wait, why am I suddenly OLDER – ”
Ever laughed some more. “I’m not sure – ”
“Do you have ANY IDEA how close I am to walking away from this? Picking one of these guys?”
(complete turnaround from a few weeks back, when I pondered Ever’s Ten Guy Theory. Now it was suddenly coming true)
Silence by Evil Spawn.
“You’re the one I’m sleeping with, Everard!! You’re the one who’s supposed to care about me, not them!!”
“I know.” UGH, he’s so awful – wait, what????
I sighed. Slumped against the hall wall, slid to the floor. I felt defeated. A loss so big my heart was heavy with it. “I never planned on seeing you again after last Sunday,” I near whispered.
“I know.” His voice was hoarse and full of heavy emotion, too.
Damn it was sexy.
“I know, Karina. I know.” God, the way he says my name!! Makes me melt, and break out in goosebumps at same time. “What can I do? How can I make it right?? How can I…keep you?”
My whole body shook. He has never EVER talked quite like this before.
I could listen to him talk like that to me every moment of every day, and never tire of it. I wanted to bath in it, it felt so good.
“What are you doing tomorrow night?” I managed to get out.
“I’ve got soccer till eight.”
“Well, I’m going down the coast straight from work to stay on my own in a motel…do you want to come??”
(wait for this, GET THIS)
“I’ll be too tired after soccer.”
If I could have broke the phone with my bare hands, I would have!!
I was giving him this chance, after he ASKED ME what he could do to keep me, and this is his response!!!
Well this was the point in the story that I seriously lost my shit.
I barely remember what I said, I just fully lost my temper. It rose up in the air like some angry pink balloon, and popped!!! Causing bits to go everywhere.
(doesn’t happen often, me losing my temper, but when it does BOY. WATCH OUT)
I do remember screaming, “THAT’S IT!!! I’M DONE!!!” and “You can’t even go for SEX ALL NIGHT with a GORGEOUS GIRL!!!”
(oh my God, I can’t believe I described myself as gorgeous, what has happened to me!! What have I BECOME??? I’m like a RELATIONSHIP MONSTER!!)
I also remember shouting, “IT’S OFF!! WE’RE FINISHED!!”
Instead of saying fine, like he normally would, Ever yelled, “ALRIGHT!! I’LL COME DOWN!!!”
“Ugh!!”
“But I don’t want to!!”
“Oh my God – ”
“I’m doing this for you!! To not – ”
“Don’t do me ANY FAVORS EVERARD!!”
“I’ll see you tomo
rrow then.”
I slammed the phone down before he could.
Then picked up the phone again and dialled Graham.
Graham had emailed me three times at work, asking if I wanted to do something with him, but I had the plans with Matt.
So I rang him, told him Matt cancelled, showered, and picked him up! We went to Garden City again, went shopping. I had so much fun as usual. We saw the 9.20pm session of ‘High Fidelty,’ which I LOVED.
(John and Joan Cusack are THE BOMB!! Absolute legends!! 80’s ROCK!!)
So I’m only just getting in now, at this hour, after driving Graham home and him hugging me forever, and refusing to let me go. It was getting to the awkward stage actually. I felt like saying, “Dude, back off already.”
OMG I need bed.
Sunday 1 October 2000
7.33pm
Friday I was flat out at work. Jules was finally back!! I missed her so much.
John Cash cracked, “Apparently Girls Night Out was SO GOOD last week, you had to have a week off, Julia!!”
Oh God, was funny. Julia didn’t find it particularly funny.
On my half hour break, I sat downstairs in the break room with Lachie, and we had a big old chat. I told him Matt cancelled, and Lachie was like, “That’s so weird, he’s been so into you for years!”
(!!!!! News to me. Makes me feel good)
And we talked about surfing, cause Melinda had offered at Matt’s party to give me surfing lessons. So Lachie and I planned it, and while talking to him, I got this strange, but awesome sensation while looking at him. Kinda like he is so light, so bright, so beachy, so fun, so the lifestyle that I want and chase after myself with my weekend trips to the coast…it just felt great. A connection with a kindred spirit.
(he’s still too hot for me though)
I was so excited to have surfing lessons with him, and to be a part of his life.
Matt COMPLETELY ignored me at work. What is his problem?? I don’t understand boys one bit.
Anyway, so about four o’clock I decided fuck Evvy, he doesn’t even WANT to go with me, plus I remembered he’d made it clear he was NOT staying down all day Saturday on the beach with me (asshole!!), and by this stage, Lachie and I had said we’d go down Saturday to the coast for surfing lessons, so I figured I’d rather stay down Saturday night after surfing lesson.
AND Joy and I had discussed, over cubicles –
“Hey Pinky! You wanna go out tonight?”
“Sounds good, Miss Cash!! You’ve got a date!”
Squeal of delight (Joy’s always squealing). “Oh, I do love myself a blonde!!”
“Since when??” called out Gerry. “You only like blacks, Joy – ”
(God, could this office BE any more politically incorrect??)
and at that moment, 4pm on a Friday arvo, Renee cracking open a bottle of champagne, the sun setting through the walls of glass, I DID NOT want to use my energy to drive in peak-hour traffic all the way down the coast, then have the EXHAUSTION of Evvy in his bad mood.
I just wanted to go out with Joy, drink, and forget all these boys.
So that’s what we did!!
First I rang Everard, and I said, all at once, really quickly, “I’m not going down the coast tonight, I’m going out with Joy, you didn’t want to go anyway, plus my first surf lesson is tomorrow and you don’t want to stay all day, like you made SUPERCLEAR to me on the phone last night, REMEMBER THAT PHONE CALL, where you compared me to a rollercoaster ride after eating three hotdogs and drinking a pink milkshake,
and you don’t know whether to laugh or THROW UP, well THE RIDE HAS BROKEN DOWN BABY, YOU’RE FREE!!!!” catch my breath, end scene.
Whew.
I was so pissed with him still. He sounded so surprised, and all he got out was, “Ahhh, that’s fine – ” before I interjected, “Okay, BYEEEEE,” and slammed the phone down.
By this stage, Nat, Joy and Melissa were all lounging around my cubicle, nodding approval and laughing.
“Well done, Pinky,” Joy laughed.
“Treat ‘em mean!!” Melissa said.
“That was the fucking funniest thing ever,” Nat said, clutching her sides. She was in stitches.
BUT THEN…20 minutes later, he rings back!!!!! And says, “How about we stay down there tomorrow night??”
Now, I almost fell off my chair. Everard, offering this??? I was shocked. I was still riding the pink elephant, into the drunk sunset, on a high from being 2 – 0 in this Round of Stupid with him, not really considering the implications of what I’d done. So his call sent me crashing back, and into a bit of a spin.
All I managed to spit out was, “Yeah, if you WANT…GULP…I’ll be down there already, YOU’LL have to drive yourself down there…”
I figured this would be a deal breaker. He hates wasting money or driving his precious car.
I thought he’d back out.
Instead, Ever goes, “That’s fine,” in a perfectly happy tone of voice.
I couldn’t help going, “Are you feeling okay, Everard?”
He replied, “Book a place.”
10.34pm
So Joy came home with me, and we drank a bottle of red together at home, then Nat dropped us in the city.
Before we left, both Graham and Richard rang, Graham wanting to go out
(hello!! I just saw you yesterday!!)
and Richard, OH MY GOD!! He rings at 8pm and says, “Aren’t you coming over for dinner??” in a REALLY hurt and pissed off voice, and I was all, “NOOOOO, I never made plans with you!!”
“Yes, you did!”
“No, I didn’t!”
“You know what?? You’re SO fucking airy fucking fairy and wrapped up in your own world, that DOESN’T INCLUDE ME, just don’t bother EVER CALLING ME AGAIN!!”
“Richard! I DIDN’T FUCKING MAKE PLANS - ”
And he slammed the phone down.
That pissed me off SO MUCH, how shitty he got with me, when I never made actual plans with him! He was so mad.
And attacking my personality! So what if I’m airy fairy? He’s just fucking bossy.
“Boys,” Joy laughed, topping up my drink. She laughed, I tried to shrug these stupid males off!!
Then we just went out and had fun!!
We went to the Carlton Crest for dinner, then to this karoke bar in the Sheraton, then to ANOTHER pub, everywhere we went, the crowd was really old. I attracted an old guy stalker, who was really creeping me out, but Joy loves attention from ANY guy, so I left about 12am, more out of escaping that freak than wanting to go. I left Joy there with him.
(in my defence, I couldn’t get her to bloody leave with me)
So Saturday morning I rang Lachie and Melinda, but they had to babysit, so I decided to go anyway. So I rang Ever to confirm
(“Woman, I’ll be there!!” was his response…he strangely sounded so happy and excited over our coast sleepover),
then I rang Rich, since I thought I’d better, since he’d had such a spectacular spack attack at me, and he seemed over his shittiness, until he asked me to come over that night, and again I had to say no, cause I was staying down the coast.
Then I had the best day at the beach by myself.
I arrived at Stardust, a rundown motel I’ve always wanted to stay at at Labrador, at 12.30pm. Most people dream of ritzy hotels and penthouses…I dream of crappy motels and falling apart houseboats.
I’m obsessed with crappy motels in particular.
They have such atmosphere!! I feel like I’m on some grand adventure, cross-countrying it across America or some far off land, like someone from a great novel or movie.
I’ve always wanted to stay at Stardust. It catches my eye every trip down to the coast. Every time I drive to the coast I take the Oxenford exit and came through the back way, through Labrador then into Surfers Paradise. I always pass it and just LONG to stay there. It was the first place I thought of when Evvy said his infamous words, “Book a place.”
Of course, being so ‘airy
fucking fairy,’
(I’m gonna run with that one FOR AGES)
I didn’t book a place, but figured I’d just wing it on the day and rock up.
Stardust looks like something out of Las Vegas. A reject (like a Goonie) out of Las Vegas, but Las Vegas nonetheless.
It has the same diamond shaped, glittering sign as its more famous counterpart, but that’s where the similarities end.
The lawn is overgrown, the bottom half of the building out the front has a giant section all smashed in…it looks like something out of a horror movie!!
(I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!)
Once I paid for the night at the very dodgy reception area
(no desk, just a couch and crap everywhere…$45, bargain!!!!!),
I walked up the stairs to my room, stepped inside and discovered two things (kind of worrying things): the carpet was SOPPING WET, like a flood had been through wet, and the door wouldn’t lock at all.
If Evvy hadn’t been coming down to stay, even The Airy Fucking Fairy Queen would’ve requested a room change. But with him coming, and no belongings to really steal, I just shrugged it off.
What was really cool about this old, crappy motel – I freakishly loved the view from the bathroom window…which was actually MISSING the glass part of the window. Was just a giant gaping hole. But the view, AHHH, I loved it!!!! Was all bushes and trees, and right smack bang amidst them, the Montezuma’s restaurant sign.
Shampoo Page 18
