by C. Morgan
Mrs. Burke was staring up at her daughter almost helplessly. Her eyes were slightly unfocused and her movements were slow as she reached up to place her hand in Emily’s.
Clark and his mother were an enthralled audience, but his father had disappeared and my mom was whispering to a waiter about bringing us a glass of water. Tommy straightened up whenever anyone passed them by, smiling and shaking hands like he didn’t have a care in the world. Even Alison managed to hold a very forced smile when she had to.
Emily and Brysen also held their poses like pros. For the first time, I was witnessing just how much keeping up appearances meant to these people. So what if the woman had one too many glasses of the expensive champagne?
If it had been my mom, Dad and I would have been laughing as we hauled her off her ass. He would have slung her arm over his shoulders to help her walk if she needed it while I would have grabbed her purse and followed them to their car.
The Burkes, however, didn’t seem inclined to handle things that way. They seemed determined to make it look like there was absolutely nothing amiss and that everything was just fine.
It’s so weird to see real people acting like this. Eventually, Brysen held his arm out to his mother with a charming smile on his face. “May I, Mom?”
My chest swelled with pride for some odd reason when I saw him trying to step up, but I deflated again when his father swatted him away. The man actually growled at him for trying to help. It was a quiet growl, but a growl nonetheless.
“Don’t touch her. You’ll only fuck things up like you fuck up everything else you touch. We’ve got this. Just make sure you’re with us when we leave.”
I stared at Mr. Burke for a beat, wondering if I’d just imagined that but knowing that I hadn’t. What an ass!
As Emily finally tugged her mother to her feet as gracefully as she could, Tommy slid an arm around her waist and held her close to his side. He motioned Emily to her other side, and the three closed ranks as they started walking toward the exit.
Emily shot me an apologetic look when they passed me, but I didn’t even have time to tell her not to worry about it. Brysen hesitated, his gaze locked on mine until he must’ve felt his father’s glare burning into the side of his face.
Visibly grinding his teeth together, he dropped his chin in a curt nod at me and then followed his family outside. An uneasiness I didn’t like stirred in my stomach. It was clear that we’d all just seen behind the curtain, and Mr. Burke certainly wouldn’t like that. I just hoped he didn’t take his wife’s misstep out on his son or even worse, his daughter.
Vowing to check in with Brysen later when he got back, I turned back to my dad and motioned toward the table. “Shall we? I’m parched. Let’s sit for a few and then we can get back out there.”
Chapter 32
BRYSEN
My mother was drunk. It wasn’t something that happened often. She was way too careful about keeping herself in line to get carried away regularly. Being seen in anything less than the perfect state wasn’t generally an option for her.
Something must have given rise to her surrendering herself to the champagne tonight. I didn’t know what it was, but that wasn’t unusual for my family. I hardly ever knew what was going on with my parents, except of course if it was about the disdain they had for me.
As the thought crossed my mind, I let out a soft snort. I couldn’t believe I wasn’t the one threatening to ruin the family’s name tonight.
Not that I thought Mom getting tipsy once would ruin the Burke name, but I’d sure as hell have been getting an earful about it right now if it’d been me. Tommy must have heard the sound I’d made, because he suddenly stopped and whirled around to face me with his eyes narrowed.
“What was that?” he asked quietly enough not to be overheard by the few students milling around on the steps outside the hall.
Schooling my features in case there was some lingering surprise or smugness about not being responsible for this evening’s incident on my face, I held up my hands. “I didn’t say anything.”
“I will not have you sneering behind our backs,” he seethed. “If you’ve got something to say, then say it like a man. Directly. Don’t go making noises that we’re supposed to decipher.”
“Funny,” I said lightly. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to decipher anything. It’s not like you’ve ever cared about what I think anyway. Why start now? You’re having such a good run. It’s been almost two decades.”
Rage rippled across his expression, and he checked to make sure Em had a firm grip on Mom before releasing her to face off with me. His hair was still perfectly slicked back, his tie secured in an elaborate knot at the base of his throat, and his suit immaculate, but while he still looked very much put together, the tension tightening his features and the dark warning in his eyes were anything but.
“Let me hear it then, Brysen. You think we don’t care?” He scoffed. “Trust me when I say that I care very much about what’s going through that head of yours at any given moment. It’s where all your shitty little ideas start that keep getting you into messes I have to clean up.”
“Well, I’m not the one who messed up tonight, am I?” I retorted, knowing it was better to just defuse the situation by letting him get it all out without adding fuel to the fire. But I just couldn’t seem to do it.
As pissed off as he was getting, there was a similar storm ripping through my insides and if I wasn’t careful, it’d be exploding out of me very soon. Despite feeling all my own rage and frustration rushing to the surface and knowing it was a bad idea to let it out here, I was struggling to rein it in.
“You all keep pretending that I’m the only one in this family who fucks up when clearly, I’m not,” I spat. “The difference is that when it’s Mom, you expect us to fall in with you blindly. To protect her image by helping you get her out before people see anything. But when it’s me? Who the fuck has ever protected me?”
Incredulity flashed in his eyes before he narrowed them at me again. “Who the fuck has ever protected you? Protecting you is a full-time job. What do you think I’m doing every time I have to intervene after one of your stunts?”
“That’s not about protecting me,” I said. “Everything you’ve ever done has been to protect the Burke name. Don’t pretend it’s about me at all. If it was about me, you wouldn’t have abandoned me after the crash.”
There was a silent beat between us where we just glared at each other, both with our feet spread apart and braced for the animosity crackling in the air. Emily stood there staring at us, her gaze anxiously bouncing from one of us to the other. She was still supporting Mom, who was now swaying slightly but had a vacant expression on her face.
Great. Just fucking great. She’s checked out again.
Once I came to that realization, the last thread of self-control I’d been clinging to snapped. I’d already been scratching at the itch to let it all out with my last few comments, and now it all just came pouring right out of me.
The truth was that I was furious with them, and what had started as an argument about me not having been the one to mess up tonight quickly evolved into everything I’d been bottling up over the years bubbling out.
My father opened his mouth, probably to say something about how they hadn’t abandoned me after the crash, but I’d never know what he’d really been about to say. “Don’t you dare deny that you abandoned me. I got into an accident that could’ve fucking killed me, then you came to the hospital to yell at me and left, never to be heard from again until you needed me to come to this dinner with you.
“What kind of parent does that?” I raged on. “You didn’t come to see me in the hospital after that night. You weren’t there when I got out. You didn’t bring me home or help me get settled. Fuck, you couldn’t even call to find out how my recovery was going or if I was recovering at all.”
My hands curled into tight fists as every ounce of the pain I’d felt about their treatment of me for the last few y
ears came shooting out. “I know what you think about me. I’m not fucking stupid. I know that I still wouldn’t have heard anything from you if you hadn’t needed me to be here tonight.”
I threw my arms out to my sides. “All because you were coming to Edgewater. Heaven fucking forbid that you show up to a dinner here without me. What would people think?”
I scoffed and shook my head at him. “You’re so fucking fake. You and Mom. Everything you do is for appearances only. There’s no actual substance to either of you. To any of us, actually. Not as people and not as a family.”
“Do you really think anyone in there is buying this act of ours anymore?” I jabbed a finger in the direction of the hall. “You’re lying to yourselves if you think we’re anything other than a broken family and that people can’t see it. Let’s face it, Dad. I’m not the problem here. You are.”
His eyebrows hiked up on his forehead and his jaw was so tight that I was sure he was about to crack a tooth, but fuck him. Surprisingly, he hadn’t interrupted me yet. It was only a matter of time though, and I knew I had to say my piece before the tiny fireworks I saw going off behind his eyes became one massive eruption.
“Nothing I do is ever good enough anyway, so why the hell should I even try? You’re the one who decided on Edgewater. You’re the one who decided on financial management and stocks for my future. I want to make my own choices, but you’ve never given me that chance. As soon as I say or do anything that doesn’t fit into the box you’ve been trying to shove me in since birth, then I’m rebelling. Fucking up. Ungrateful. So yeah, the fucking up might be on me, but the rest of it is on you.”
Obviously, he’d had enough. Storming forward, he got right in my face and hissed at me between his teeth. “You’re making a scene. We’ll talk about this later.”
“A scene?” I couldn’t help laughing at that. “After everything I’ve just said, of course the only thing you care about is that I’m making a scene. You’re more worried about what strangers might think of you than about what your own kids think about you. That, right there, that’s the fucking problem I’m talking about.”
Tommy’s hand came up so fast that I wouldn’t have been able to dodge the blow if he’d followed through on it. I was stunned when I realized his fist was flying toward my face. We got into verbal lashings all the time, but he’d never actually hit me.
A soft gasp that must have come from either Emily or my mother stopped him at the very last second. He fell back, rolled his neck from side to side, and dropped his hand.
“If you put another toe out of line, I’ll pull you out of school,” he threatened in a voice barely above a whisper but filled with so much hostility that I didn’t doubt him for a second. “When that happens, you’ll get what you wished for.”
He smirked and held my gaze as he walked backward toward my mom. “You won’t have to work in finance. You won’t get a fucking cent from your trust. You’ll have to start over, all on your own, without any help from your family. Is that what you really want, Brysen?”
Without waiting for me to respond, he arched a brow and scoffed at me. “Keep mouthing off like that, and we’ll see how far you get without your fake, uncaring family. You’ll be penniless and destitute, but you’ll be free to make all your own fucking choices. Let’s face the facts, though. What choices will you really have? Whether to flip burgers or sling drinks for the rest of your life? You’d never get into another college with your piss poor excuse for grades. You don’t know the first thing about what it really means to work. Even if you managed to get a job, you wouldn’t be able to keep it. You’re too fucking lazy and entitled to do what needs to be done.”
Fear of the unknown crept up on me. I didn’t like having to admit it, even to myself, but he was right. Without any money, I wouldn’t know what to do. While he’d been derisive about flipping burgers or slinging drinks, I knew that both of those things required long hours and hard work.
As much as I hated to even think about how pathetic it made me, I probably wouldn’t be able to cut it at any of that. At anything.
Snippets of my conversations with Ruby flashed through my mind. She’d been working her ass off for years to get to where she was now, and I’d have to work even harder because I’d be playing catch up. I thought back to things she’d told me about both her and Hadley. About how Haddie was here on a full-ride scholarship and how she had to bust her chops to keep it. About how lucky Ruby was that her parents were able to afford her tuition even if she had gotten a few sponsorships to help them along.
Fuck, those girls were machines. They were always studying. Always working. Always focused on doing what they had to do to secure the futures they wanted.
I didn’t have that in me. And that was what had me biting my tongue even if Tommy’s smirking face made me want to rip his head off.
He kept my gaze for another minute before he wound an arm around my mother’s waist again and turned his back on me, leading her and Emily down the steps toward their car. They left without another word to me.
Not even Emily looked back, but I could see the tears streaming down her cheeks before she turned to follow them. Her shoulders were slumped and the absolute devastation on her face lanced through me like a spear to the heart.
Like every other time after an evening with my family ended, I felt empty. Drained. Helpless. And I really didn’t fucking like it.
Chapter 33
RUBY
“Boy, they’re an uptight bunch, aren’t they?” Clark joked when the Burkes left the hall. “Talk about high strung. That’s not going to be a happy trip home.”
While I knew he was probably just trying to lighten the mood at the table, I wasn’t about to join in. Especially not when I felt like it would be at Brysen’s expense.
After they left, I had another drink with my parents, but my gaze kept wandering back to the door. Clark, his mother, and my parents moved on to a different topic of conversation, but I couldn’t bring myself to care about what they were saying.
I was too worried about Brysen. Sure, he hadn’t actually done anything to get in trouble over tonight, but something told me that wouldn’t matter. His father had seemed livid by the time they’d escorted his mother to the door, and I had a feeling Brysen would be taking the brunt of it all.
My father kept casting these concerned glances at me, which told me he knew where my head was at. Neither of my parents had said another word about the Burkes, but after our conversation on the dance floor, he knew somewhat more about my relationship with Brysen than anyone else at the table did.
While I appreciated that he was intuitive enough to know that the brief incident with the Burkes was upsetting me, the last thing I wanted was for him to spend the rest of the night worrying instead of spinning my mother around the dance floor a few more times.
I smiled when he caught my gaze again, then leaned in closer to him so nobody else would overhear me. “I’m fine, Daddy. Just surprised about the way other people handle things. Brysen’s not back yet, though. I’m going to take a walk to see if I can find him. Make sure he’s okay.”
“You’re a good friend, sweetheart,” he said. “Mom and I will text you if we end up leaving before you get back. Don’t worry about us. We’ve had a wonderful night with you, and we understand that your friend needs you now.”
Gratitude warmed me up from the inside out. After giving him a peck on the cheek and my mother’s arm a quick squeeze, I excused myself from the table and took off to find my friend. Before I left the hall, I collected my coat from the room where I’d left it and slid into it, buttoning it up as I ventured out onto the stairs.
I hadn’t expected to see the Burkes just standing around in the cold outside, but my stomach still dropped when I found no sign of Brysen on the stairs or in the parking lot beyond them. It seemed they were all gone, but he wouldn’t have left campus with them.
As far as I knew, he’d even been planning on attending an afterparty later put together by
some of the students who’d been involved with the dinner. Which means he’s got to be around here somewhere.
Without the first idea of where he might have gone, I decided to take the long way around the river to his dorm. From what I knew about his relationship with his family, he often needed to blow off steam after spending time with them—and now I understood why.
I figured that, if he was still planning on going to the party, he sure as heck wouldn’t be going in his suit. With his parents obviously having left, he wouldn’t be going back to the dinner, so there was no point in waiting for him there.
What he’d need to do was get changed in his room, but he might have decided to take a stroll around this way to blow off said steam before he went out. It seemed like a logical enough place to start looking for him, so I tucked my chin into my collar and my hands into my pockets, keeping a close eye on the shadowed areas off the path while I walked.
My efforts paid off when I spotted a lone figure sitting on the embankment next to the water. He had his knees drawn up to his chest and his arms resting on top of them, his chin up as he stared off into the distance.
The spot he’d chosen was quiet, and given that there weren’t many people just wandering around tonight, it was relatively private. I walked up silently and sat down beside him, crossing my legs even though it was a bit of a challenge in this dress. Once I was seated, I mirrored him by also staring at the reflection of the lights on the water on the other side of the river, but I glanced at him after about a minute.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said, not looking at me at all. “This is just the same old bullshit it always is, and I have no way out of it.”
