by J. R. Ward
“He’s missed you. He calls out your name at night.”
Mad closed her eyes. The idea that he might have been hurt because of her, made her feel so much worse. “I made a mistake. I made a terrible mistake.”
“Yes, you did. I don’t know any of the details, but I’ll tell you this, my brother is totally trustworthy. And he’s willing to do anything for those he loves. Trust me, he gave up years of his life for mine.”
“Years?”
Jaynie put her knife down, lifted her corn up, then paused. “My brother has something he may choose to tell you. If he does, try and hear it with an open mind. He deserves at least that from you. He deserves…so much more than he’s gotten out of life.”
“What is it?” Mad breathed.
“Not for me to say. Just know that he saved my life and not metaphorically. Without him, you and I wouldn’t be sitting here enjoying this corn. Butter?”
The woman picked up the saucer and held it out.
In a daze, Mad took some of what was offered. “Thank…you.”
* * *
Spike didn’t leave White Caps until he was thrown out by Nate at midnight.
The office was spotless as he left and at least the paper pushing had passed the hours. He couldn’t say he felt much better, but at least the accounts receivable and the accounts payable were both up to date now.
Even though his wrist was aching, he took the long way home on the Harley, going up into the mountains. The country roads were a God send, working their magic, stripping him for a while of everything that was jammed up in his mind. With nothing but himself and Bette’s single headlight traversing the twisting paths through the bumps and peaks of the Adirondacks, he found a little calm and treasured it because he knew it wasn’t going to last.
When he came back down, he approached his place from the back side, going right into the lot behind the Victorian.
Climbing the rear stairs to his home, he wanted a shower and some shut-eye, but was only confident about getting the first.
The apartment was mostly dark, but he knew the place by heart so he walked through its shadows without a problem. He poked his head into his sister’s room. Her bedside lamp was on and Jaynie was asleep with a book wide open next to her. He was tempted to turn her light out, but figured that would only wake her up.
When he got to his room, he shut his door so he didn’t disturb her and he didn’t bother with lights or lamp switches. He striped naked and went for the shower, giving himself a quick soap up.
He was toweling himself off as he headed for his bed.
And that was when he saw Madeline Maguire was top of the thing.
He nearly jumped out of his skin.
Then he realized he was naked. He scrambled to cover himself, expecting her to sit up in a rush and say something. Except she was obviously out cold.
He walked a little closer to her.
She was stretched out on top of his navy-blue comforter, wearing some kind of black jacket and pants outfit. Which explained why he hadn’t seen her: she blended perfectly into the inky pool of the bed.
Oh…man. He couldn’t take a deep enough breath. Was this another dream? He hadn’t seen her car…but then he had come home the back way. Had she parked in front of the house?
And if this wasn’t a dream, why had she come?
“Mad?” When she didn’t move, he reached out and shook her shoulder a little. Her hair was unbound and all over the place, as if she’d been tossing and turning and he wanted to put his hands in it. “Mad, wake up.”
She said something softly. And then grabbed on to his hand and pulled him on top of her like a blanket.
Somehow, he managed to keep the towel around his hips as he fell forward. And after he landed on her, he had every intention of getting right back up again…but he didn’t stand a chance. She wrapped her arms around him and then her legs and that was it. He sagged against her in spite of his confusion.
“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” she murmured, arching her body.
Her hands found the lip of the towel and then the thing was just gone. And she was touching him, running her palms up and down his spine.
Spike hissed as he became instantly aroused, but he wasn’t about to do anything with the erection. No matter how much—
Oh, whoa…Her hands were at his hips now. Then moving underneath them, around to the front—
He tried to jerk out of the way. “Mad,” he croaked. “Wake up.”
He squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip hard as she touched him.
“I was so wrong to doubt you,” she said, nuzzling into his throat. “And I couldn’t get here fast enough to tell you. I’m so sorry…You smell so good.” Her lips pressed into the side of his neck. “Mmm…you just washed your hair…”
This was exquisite torture.
He did his best to stop his lower body from flexing and retreating and flexing again, but it found a rhythm, working his arousal within her hand.
Breathlessly, he groaned, “Mad…Mad, wake up.”
“Don’t want to wake up.” Her voice was a mere whisper, the words fuzzy on the edges. “Horrible since Memorial Day. Sad. Missing you. Cried. But now I have you.”
She certainly did.
Except the unhappy emotion in her voice calmed the mad lust in him. He lifted his head and brushed her hair back. The torment in her face broke his heart, and even more than her apology, it was what bridged the gap between them. He could deny her nothing when she was so obviously upset. Most especially not himself.
“I don’t want you to cry,” he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Not over me.”
“Only over you. Love you.”
Spike stopped breathing all together, unsure he’d heard that right. If he had…
His heart started to pound in his chest. “What was that, Mad?”
“I love you.”
* * *
Mad came awake just as the words left her mouth.
At first she was totally confused. It seemed that somehow Spike was sprawled on top of her, a glorious, heavy weight, his body smelling like cedar soap and feeling very male…especially where her hands were touching him.
She blushed and let go. “Oh, God…I’m not dreaming, am I?”
As she looked up into his face, she expected to see some kind of anger. Instead, he was staring down at her with tenderness.
“No, you’re not,” he murmured. “But…maybe I am.”
“Did I just…say what I think I did?”
“Yeah.” In the dimness, she saw that his eyes were moving around her face. “Do you mean it?”
“Yes,” she said without hesitation. At this point, she figured she had nothing to hide, nothing to lose. “Look, Spike, I came here to tell you that—”
He cut her off with his mouth, kissing her deeply, his tongue a powerful surge between her lips. But then he rolled off and reached for something over the side of the bed. As he arched back and stretched his arm out, she saw every line of his body…including that incredible arousal.
Oh…good…heavens….
He dragged the edge of the comforter over and covered himself. “Mad, we need to talk.”
She rubbed her eyes. “I know. That’s why I came. I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you about Amelia. I really am…I talked to her about the whole thing, but I should have had faith in you without that.”
“It really killed me that you didn’t trust me.”
“I know—”
“Because it meant I couldn’t tell you something about myself. Something that is probably going to change your opinion of me. I figured if you didn’t have enough faith that I wouldn’t do something absurd like sleep with Amelia, you and I would never be able to deal with my past. So we’d never have…you know, a future.”
What was this, she thought, a strange hope sizzling across every inch of her skin. She’d come to apologize and do the right thing. But she’d never dreamed…
“A future?” she murmured
. “Spike…I thought you don’t do relationships.”
“Me, too. But you’re different.” His eyes traveled over her. “You’ve been different since the moment I first saw you coming out of that bathroom at Alex’s. Then when I went out to Greenwich, I tried to do the right thing and stay away from you, but I failed. By the end of Memorial Day weekend, I’d thought maybe we could have something…but then you left and I assumed it was because Richard told you about me.”
“He didn’t say a word.” Joy started to gather speed, but then anxiety gathered in her chest instead, tightening her ribs. “Spike…what don’t I know about you?”
His deep breath made her nerves go off until they were a wild jangle. “Mad…1 went to prison. For a long time. Years.”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “What for?”
“I killed a man.”
“Dear…God.” She closed her eyes, hoping, praying it wasn’t in cold blood. “Why?”
“To save Jaynie’s life.”
Mad looked at him, thinking about what his sister had said at the dinner table. “Spike…there was no choice, was there? She was in…mortal danger, wasn’t she.”
His eyes darkened from conflicted feelings. “There was no other way. I had to do it.”
“But then why did you go to prison?”
“You can only raise self-defense against a murder charge if you were the one being attacked. I wasn’t the one he was going after with a baseball bat.” As she flinched, he said quickly, “I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel…uncomfortable around me.”
Spike moved a little farther away from her on the bed, as if not wanting to crowd her in any way.
Her mind went through her memories of him, focusing on the moments when he’d disappeared even when he was right in front of her. “So this is what you hide. This is what you don’t talk about.”
“Yes. I…Mad, I didn’t mention it to you in the beginning because I figured we were just friends. But then things got complicated. I was going to tell you, I swear. Especially after I decided…”
“What?”
“That I wanted to see you again. Often.”
She looked at him for a long time, then reached out for his hand. He seemed surprised that she would want to touch him, his eyes widening.
As their fingers intertwined she said, “I wanted that, too. I want that.”
His brows shot up. “Even though you know?”
“Yes. I can’t pretend that I’m not shocked. I am. But I’m not frightened of you. And I’m not going to stop…” Now that she was fully awake she found it hard to say the L word. “I still want to see you.”
“Are you sure?” He bent down and kissed her hand, squeezing it tight. “Because I figured…with the way you lost your mother, this would be especially difficult for you to accept.”
She frowned. “The way I lost my…what does my mother dying of cancer have to do with your having been to prison?”
Spike’s face registered undiluted shock. Like the kind people showed at traffic accidents. “Excuse me?”
“My mother died of cancer. So why should your past be hard to accept because of that?”
“What?”
“I…Why are you so surprised by this?”
He cursed and then those yellow eyes narrowed until they were slits. “You have no idea what…Holy hell.”
Holy hell was right, she thought. Spike was truly furious. And trying very hard not to show it.
“How did you think she died?” Mad asked.
“It doesn’t matter—”
She cut him right off. “Michael Moriarty, so help me God, you better not withhold anything from me anymore. If you and I are going to be together in some way, we are starting a no-hiding rule right now. Either you are totally up front with me or you and I are going nowhere fast.”
His brows lifted. Then he smiled a little. “Okay. I…ah, all right. You know, I kind of like it when you order me around.”
“Good. Get used to it. If I can handle the boys on the crew, I can handle you. Now spill it.”
He kissed her quick and hard. Then got serious. “Richard told me that your mother had died in the course of a violent felony. He said he’d looked into my background and gone to you as soon as he found out about my past. Maintained you’d left because you didn’t want to see me anymore. That’s why when I came to you in Newport, I was so surprised you thought I’d been with Amelia.”
“What a…bastard,” she said, appalled. That Richard could lie…about her mother? Could manipulate Spike and her like this?
“Mad, what are you thinking right now?”
Clearly, she’d been quiet for awhile. “I…I stood up for him at the board meeting this afternoon. Backed his acquisition proposal because it was the correct business thing to do. Even told him he was the right man for the CEO job because he was and is good in that role. But after this…” She shook her head. “Someone who can be that unethical, should not be running any kind of company.”
No, Richard definitely had to go. And not in retaliation for what he’d done to her and Spike, although she was going to give the man plenty of hell for that. Richard had to go because ethics in one’s personal life were indistinguishable from ethics in one’s business life.
And she would get him out. With the amount of shares under her control, she would find a way to make the change. And she was willing to bet Sean and Mick would help her.
She refocused on Spike. And smiled as she noted that he hadn’t let go of her hand.
“So where does this leave us?” she asked.
He hesitated. “Well, all things considering…I’d say we’re in love.” He leaned in close and punctuated his sentences with kisses. “Yeah. Definitely. Because I love you. You love me. So, we’re in love.”
“We’re in love?” She almost couldn’t believe it.
“Yeah. We are.”
She wrapped her arms around him and held on tight.
“But Mad, about the sailing.”
She braced herself, wondering what she would do if he said he wanted her to give up her sport. “What about it?”
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t dream of asking you to stop racing.” As she relaxed and smiled, he said, “But I think it would be great if you…didn’t drive yourself too hard. You know, with the working out stuff and the dieting. I love your body the way it is now, but I think I’d love it even more if you…ah, that is I wish you would…”
She kissed him to reassure him. “I’ve already started changing things. I’ve been thinking lately that someday, I might want to have kids. So I need to begin getting ready even now.”
He cut her off with his lips as if he couldn’t control the impulse. “I want to have babies with you. Lots of babies.”
She grinned at the possessive tone in his voice. “Do you now?”
“Yes…” But then he cursed and winced. “Actually…there’s something else. And we’re under that no-hiding rule, aren’t we?”
“We sure are.”
“Okay…well, I want to marry you. Tomorrow. Tonight. Right now.” He blew out his breath. “There. I said it. Yes, I know we haven’t known each other long—”
This time she was the one cutting him off with a kiss. “You know what? I think it’s a great idea.”
“You do?”
She smiled up at him. “I do.”
Epilogue
Spike and Mad said their official I do’s two weeks later in a small civil ceremony at the Saranac Lake courthouse. The rings they exchanged were plain platinum, his a little wider, hers a little thinner. Their honeymoon was spent on a sailing yacht. Mad showed Spike how to set and stay a nautical course. Spike showed Mad how to make homemade risotto.
Unfortunately, they ended up miles off in the wrong direction. And Mad’s risotto had the consistency of runny oatmeal and tasted like spackle. Both of them, however, were perfectly happy with the results. But then again, true love doesn’t care about the minor details of life, like miles lost
and time wasted getting back on course. And it is fed by things other than competence in the kitchen.
Love thrives where there is warmth in the heart for another.
And now that they’ve found each other, Spike and Mad are always warm.
* * * * *
*The Moorehouse Legacy
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