“Yeah, well, I fucking did it.” I shook my head. “I kicked my friend’s ass and walked away without even checking on him.”
Miles sighed and leaned forwarded. “Isaac. Why do you judge yourself so harshly?”
“What?” I didn’t understand.
“Do you think no one else has a temper? That no one has a dark part of themselves that they keep hidden?” he asked, watching me.
“I’m not Zeke,” I bit out.
He sighed. “I’m not talking about Zeke. Besides, he doesn’t try to hide it,” he said. “You know I have a darker side. You’ve seen it over the years.”
“Yeah, beating the shit out of Jason in seventh grade was great,” I admitted. “So was slamming Dylan onto the car hood.”
“That’s not the point.” His ears burned red. “The point is, that everyone has a part of themselves they don’t want to come to light. Everyone has a dark side. You are just like everyone else.”
I started to shake my head and argue but he cut me off.
“For years you’ve tried to hide it, hide who you were. Then you started to show it more after Sophie passed,” he sighed. “And after that, you tried to hide yourself behind making people laugh.”
Looking down at the table I clenched my jaw. I didn’t want to talk about this but... maybe I needed to. “What are you getting at?”
“Maybe you’re just tired of hiding who you are,” he said, his voice low and smooth. “You’re not always the jokester. You’re not always the angry one. But you are Isaac. And you are human.”
I looked out the window and watched people walking by. “I don’t really know who that is anymore.”
“Yes, you do. You’re Isaac.” His certainty had me turning back to him. “You’re the guy who held his dying sister in his arms and made her laugh. You’re the guy who was possessed by a demon and barely survived. You’re a person who is loved by his family and friends. You’re the guy who created an explosion with cesium in chemistry. You like jokes, poking at Zeke’s serious nature, and you are a bit of an adrenaline junkie.” He sighed. “You are still that person. Only for once, you’re not hiding. And I think, that means even from yourself.”
I started to turn my plastic cup. “What do I do?”
“You take a good hard truthful look at who you are,” Miles answered without hesitation. “If you need to work on something, own it. But if you’re expecting to be perfect... I’ll tell you what I tell Asher. No one is perfect. And to expect yourself to be is setting you up for a lifetime of disappointment.”
What he said made sense. He usually did. I always hated that. “You’re an asshole.”
He grinned. “I know.”
I sighed. “But you're a right asshole.”
His grin turned into an understanding smile. “I’m aware.” He picked up his ice coffee. “We should probably head back.”
We grabbed our drinks and headed up to the cash register. Before I could pull out my wallet, Miles paid.
“Thanks for the drink,” I said.
“You’re welcome.” He put his wallet away and met my gaze. “Thanks for talking to me.”
“You two make such a cute couple.” The waitress announced. We both turned to her.
Miles’s face was annoyed. “We’re not.”
She looked at us doubtfully, then down at her cleavage then back to us. “Well, I’m sure you both will find Mr. Right.”
Miles opened his mouth to correct her.
“Come on, darling,” I said in a more effeminate voice while I put my arm around his shoulders. “We need to get the poodles back from the dog sitter in an hour.”
He sighed as we walked toward the door. “Why does every girl think I’m gay just because I’m not ogling her?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea.”
Lexie
It was late. I was lying in bed in my room and I couldn’t sleep. Zeke was being a grumpy butt and Asher… My heart ached. Asher was here. After what he said last night, I figured he’d stay behind. I got up, went to my balcony doors and looked out. My mind kept running around in circles, bringing up the same questions over and over.
A door opened and closed. I got up and looked out my window. Asher sat down in one of the chairs at the table. He was in his usual summer pjs, a pair of mesh shorts and a tank under shirt. He sat at the table, his elbows braced, his face buried in his hands. He looked exhausted. I opened my door and slipped out.
His head snapped up, his eyes ran over me before he looked away over the balcony railing. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“You didn’t. I was already awake.” I stood behind the chair next to him. “Can’t sleep?”
He dropped his hands and shook his head. “It’s too loud. I’ll have to pick up some noise cancelling head phones tomorrow.” A heavy silence fell. We both made a point of looking anywhere else but at each other. Noise from the street was the only sound on the balcony.
Asher shifted in his seat. I couldn’t take this.
“What are you doing here, Ash?” My quiet voice was loud on the balcony. “Last night you said… You could have stayed home. I was sure you weren’t coming.”
His eyes were like rough seas when he lifted his head and met my gaze. “I miss you, Ally. I miss talking to you, cooking with you, hearing your voice on the phone. I miss you.”
My heart leaped and tried to fly out of my chest. “I keep reaching for my phone to call you and… then I remember.”
“I know I can’t be with you.” His eyes held mine. “But I still want to be here for you.”
I swallowed hard. “Ash…” I wanted to say that he could be with me. I wanted to say that I loved him, that I hated this. But I couldn’t. I could only stand here and hurt.
He took a deep breath. “So, let me try this just being your friend thing again.”
I sat down in the chair then brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. “What have you been doing the last couple of weeks?”
“I’ve been pulling double shifts at work, taking on more clients. And I hung out with Miles and the twins,” Asher said.
“You’re avoiding Zeke,” I guessed.
He nodded as he met my gaze. “It didn’t start that way. I just got busy, then I made sure I stayed busy.”
“Ash, you can’t let that happen.” My voice was soft and quiet. Those warm ocean eyes met mine, the noise from the street fading away. “You guys have been friends for almost your entire lives. I can’t ruin that.”
“I know.” His own voice was rich and soft.
“What the fuck do I do?” I whispered. Unable to look him in the eye, I stared at my knees. I hadn’t been joking when I said it last night, and I wasn’t joking now. It was only a matter of time before one of the guys talked to one of the others or caught me with Isaac, since I couldn’t seem to stop kissing him. It was only a matter of time. The original plan had been to not tell anyone, but bit by bit that plan fell apart. Then there was the plan to not date anyone. My symptoms had gotten worse and I was dying, so that wasn’t too hard to keep to. Only I kissed Asher. And Isaac. But now that I’m going to live… I was in the middle of a situation that had the potential to go nuclear. And it was all of my own making. I had dug my own grave, and I’ll just have to lie in it.
He leaned forward, his warm calloused fingertips going to my calves. “We act like friends again.”
I met his eyes. “Don’t let me destroy everything.”
He narrowed his eyes on me. “What are you going to destroy?”
Realizing what I said, I shook my head and blinked away the tears that burned in my eyes. “Nothing, never mind.”
“Ally.” His soft rich voice had me turning back to him. “Talk to me.”
I swallowed hard.
Asher blinked and pulled back until he was sitting back in his chair again. I was about to ask what was wrong when Ethan stepped through the open balcony doors with a limp.
“What's going on?” Asher asked, his voice
back to his rich baritone.
Ethan shook his head. “Is Lexie still-” He looked up and smiled in relief. “Beautiful, can I borrow your hands?”
I gave him a small smile and got out of my chair. “Come on, Snoopy.” I led him across the balcony and opened the French doors to my room. As Ethan walked in ahead of me, I looked back to find Asher watching me. Our eyes met, my heart raced. It was a look full of warmth and confusion. Ethan’s groan brought me back to the present. I went back into my room and closed the doors. Ethan was lying in the middle of my bed, stretched out in his dark red mesh shorts, his upper body bare. I bit my lip at the sight of all those nice lines.
“Kill me, Lexie,” he groaned. “Just do it. Put me out of my misery.”
I smiled to myself as I picked up my lotion and climbed onto the bed. “You’ll survive.” I got to my knees beside him and put a portion of the lotion into my palms. “What happened? I thought you were doing okay today.”
He sighed. “I was. Just a little stiffness from the flight. Then I was stupid.”
I rubbed my hands together to warm up the lotion. “You picked up your suitcase.”
“Yeah,” he growled.
I ran my hands in long broad strokes to get his back to start loosening up. “Why didn’t you let Isaac take it in?”
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him twirling his rings. “Because I didn’t ask him to.”
I started to work on the knots in his back. “Ethan, he was trying to help.”
“Yeah, well, he can start by being my brother again,” he muttered.
My hands stilled. “What do you mean?”
He sighed and buried his face in the comforter. “Beautiful, I’ve got your hands on me, massaging my back. I don’t want to think about my brother.”
I snorted as I went back to running my hands over the muscular lines of his back. “You’re going to have to stop fighting and talk to him at some point.”
He groaned deeply. “So good...”
“Why did you have that limp yesterday?” I asked, my voice low.
“I stubbed my toe,” he said in a dry voice.
“It’s getting worse, isn’t it?” I moved on to another knot.
“Yeah,” he sighed.
“Anything I can do?”
“You’re doing it, Beautiful,” he murmured.
I started working on his back again. It took a while but eventually the last knot let go.
“You're a miracle,” he groaned deeply.
I grinned as I laid beside him. “I know.”
He turned his head. “Thanks, Beautiful. How are your hands?”
I flexed them a bit to see how they felt. “They feel okay.” I got comfy on my bed and met his eyes. “Are you okay?”
He closed his eyes. “Yeah. I’m just trying not to take my pain meds.”
“The stronger ones?”
He nodded. “I’ll sleep for, like, twelve hours.”
I reached out and ran my fingers down the back of his neck. “I wish I could make it better.”
His hand moved over the blanket to find mine. “You do, Beautiful.” He opened his eyes. “Can I crash in here with you?”
I grinned. “Always.”
* * *
There was a noise. I shifted under the covers, a heavy weight around my waist. A rattle, a muffled curse had me opening my eyes. Light from the street lamps outside came through the glass French doors giving me enough light to recognize Zeke’s hulking frame.
“Zeke?” I muttered, still more than half asleep. Ethan muttered and moved his arm off of me.
Zeke locked the bolt at the top of the door then turned back to me. “Go back to sleep.”
I blinked at him. “What ya doin'?” I started to rub the sleep from my eyes.
“I needed to check the locks on your balcony doors,” he whispered as he ran his hand through his hair. He was still in his clothes from today. What was he doing? He needed something… huh?
I started to get out of bed to help with whatever he needed. His big calloused hand wrapped around my bare arm, stopping me. “No, no, no.” The weight of his hand alone had me lying back down. He squatted next to the bed and pulled my blankets back over me. “Go back to sleep, it’s not time to get up yet.” His fingers stroked my cheek.
I took a deep breath of leather, engine grease and spicy cologne. It relaxed me. I reached up and wrapped my fingers around his thick wrist and smiled as I slipped back under.
“I’ll keep everyone safe, Baby.”
Chapter 5
July 12th, Thursday Morning
My alarm went off, shrill and shrieking. Spicy cologne tickled my nose from the warm weight against my side. I blindly reached out and fumbled to turn off the alarm on my phone. It took entirely too long before it stopped. Ugh, why did I choose that alarm?
The air conditioner switched on, blowing cold air over my skin. Oh, that was nice... I snuggled my pillow and started to drift off again.
Ethan's hand squeezed me. That's when I noticed his hand was on my ass over my cotton shorts. He was on his back beside me, his hand holding my butt cheek closest to him. Warmth washed through me, my body throbbed waking me up completely. I took his hand off me and tried to slip out of bed.
His arm snagged me around the waist and pulled me back under the blankets. I chuckled as he wrapped around me. His face buried in my hair, his arms around me holding me to him. His hips pressed against my ass, his morning wood rather obvious.
"Stay," he mumbled, his nose rubbing against the back of my neck.
I smiled, secretly loving it. "I need to get up."
He held me tighter. "No, you don't. You need to stay here with me."
I ran my hand over his arm around my hips. "Ethan..."
He squeezed me again, his hard body pressing into me. He didn’t seem to care that he was pressed against me. Or that I could tell how hard he was. “Quedate conmigo.” His voice was smoky and soft, not his toe-curling voice but almost. It made me want to stay right where I was all day.
I smiled. "What?"
"Never mind." He kissed the skin on the back of my shoulder, doubling the warmth running through my body. "Is there coffee?"
"Probably." I managed to keep my voice normal. Points for me!
"Debating. Cuddle with you or coffee..."
I ran my fingers over the skin of his forearm. "Coffee wins, hands down." My phone rang. He loosened his hold, I rolled over and picked my phone up off the nightstand.
“Hey, Rory,” I answered. Ethan kissed my temple before he climbed over me to get out of my bed. As Ethan headed for the door I ran my eyes down the muscled lines of his back to his... I grinned to myself.
“Hey, kid. I got a call this morning. Do you have a minute?” Rory said, his voice somber. Ethan turned back around. I stretched and played innocent. Why no, I wasn’t just checking out your ass, or your back... He narrowed his eyes at me.
“Sure, what’s going on?” I asked. Ethan went into my bathroom smiling and closed the door behind him. Rule one of being friends with guys, don’t get caught drooling.
“It’s about your mom’s trial.”
Suddenly the world wasn’t so warm and cozy, it was cold and harsh. I sat up on the side of my bed. “What about it?”
“It’s coming up this fall,” he announced.
My lungs seized. This fall. Only a couple of months... “What… I thought she was going to plea out?”
“She was,” Rory sighed. “But then she got a new lawyer who got ahold of your medical records.”
My heart pounded in my chest. “What would that gain for her? I’ve got health issues, so she beat the crap out of me?”
“They’re saying you’re unstable and went after her,” he explained. “She’s telling them you see the dead.”
Everything stopped. That fucking… I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “There wasn’t a mark on her. When the cops broke in, I was the one on the floor.” I got to my feet and went to the window and l
ooked outside, not really seeing it.
“I know, Lexie-”
“What about her tox screen?” I snapped in a hushed voice. “What about the cops’ reports?” The bathroom door opened. I turned to Ethan. He winked at me before he left my bedroom.
“The D.A. is preparing a strong case,” Rory reassured me. “But according to him, Lisa’s new lawyer is a scumbag who is very good at creating doubt. And it looks like they’re going for a jury trial.”
“What doubt is there to create? She was caught beating the shit out of me.” I crossed my arm over my stomach, trying to keep myself calm.
“The D.A says he has a strong case with only your statement. Though he wants to know, if it became necessary, would you testify?” He asked being careful to be clear.
It would mean going back to CA, it would mean seeing her again. But it would also mean putting her in jail. I just didn’t know… “I’m not sure.”
“You’ll have a couple of months to decide but he’ll need an answer eventually,” Rory said.
“I’ll figure it out.”
“I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye.” I hung up the phone. She had a trial date. My stomach knotted. I tried to think about it but it was like my brain just said ‘no, not today.’ I decided to listen to my brain today.
I went about getting ready for the day. I pulled back the shower curtain and jumped. A dead, dark brown mouse was on the floor of the shower. Oh, ew. I got some tissues, picked it up by its tail and dropped it into the toilet. After flushing and washing my hands, I went back to my morning routine.
After, I put on Bermuda shorts, a white slouchy boyfriend shirt and lots of sunscreen. I went to do my hair, I cursed. Humidity and curly hair did not mix. Yesterday frizz was everywhere and my hair seemed to be thicker than it ever was before. Today it was the same. Maybe Asher could… That probably wouldn’t be a good idea.
I pulled out a leave-in conditioner and worked it through my wet hair, then pulled it back into a ponytail. I headed back into my room and went to my balcony doors. When I tried to open them they wouldn't budge. What the...? I checked the lock then looked at the bottom of the door. The bolt was latched. I pulled it and tried again. It still didn't move. I looked at the top and saw that the other bolt was locked. I stood on my toes and tried to reached the latch but I couldn't. My fingers just barely brushed the knob. Dropping back down to my feet, I huffed. When did someone lock it? I scoured my memory and came up with a hazy memory from late last night. Zeke. He'd come into my room while I was asleep. I clenched my jaw. Okay, he was getting really close to crossing the line. Over protective is one thing, sneaking into my room while I was asleep was another. Especially since he hated anyone coming into his room when he was asleep. The shit.
Secrets From the Grave Page 6
