People were calling to Javier, who, stick-in-the-mud or not, seemed to be a hit with the ladies. He thanked her again and disappeared. Veronica went to check on her grandmother, and Patricia was left alone.
She’d seen Dani and David come in a few minutes earlier, dressed to the hilt. A sparkly dress for her and a dark suit for him. Now, the pair came out of the kitchen, and Dani rushed to hug her. “You did such a fabulous job finishing the cake! I can’t wait to taste it.”
“You told me what to do.” Patricia managed to hide her despair as she thought of those moments with Alex. She nodded toward Dani’s father, who stood with his arms crossed, watching the teenagers. “Hey, look, your dad wants to see you guys.”
She watched as a short, dark-haired woman approached Alex and slid an arm around his waist. She was tiny, with a tight dress that showed off her slender hips and flat stomach.
Patricia shouldn’t linger and watch Alex and his other women. Despite her efforts to guard her heart, she’d let herself fall for the man. Staying when he didn’t care about her was just abasing herself. Why was she doing it again?
She’d pack up and leave. She could pick Bear up on the way out of town.
Her car was in the parking lot, just as Manuel had promised. After throwing her belongings inside, she drove the half-mile to Alex’s friend’s place and got Bear, thanking the kind people who’d let him run on their property and making excuses about why she couldn’t stay longer and chat.
She had her blinker on to head for the highway when she fumbled for her phone in her... her purse. Where was her purse?
She blew out a sigh, scolded herself for being an idiot, and turned the car back toward El Corazon.
She tried to be quiet, sneaking into the kitchen, but just when she’d grabbed her purse and gotten to the back door, Veronica walked in. “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah.” Patricia schooled her expression to neutral. “Gotta get on the road.”
“Do you want me to get Alex for you?”
“No!” The word came out too fast and hard, and Veronica studied Patricia.
“Did you guys have a fight?”
Quickly, Patricia shook her head. “Not exactly. He’s a... a great guy.” She almost choked on the words, because she’d thought them to be true and they weren’t. “I just... you know, I didn’t mean to stay this long. It was a snowstorm that brought me here and I need to be on my way. We need to. Bear’s out in the car.”
“You’re sure you don’t want me to call Alex?”
“I’m sure.” Her throat tightened as she ducked her head and went out the door.
Veronica trailed along behind. “It’s been so great to get to know you. Are you sure... never mind. Not my business.” She hugged Patricia. “Stay in touch, okay? Do you want a plate of food for the road?”
“No. Thanks for being so kind.” Patricia got Bear into the front passenger seat and headed out of the parking lot. She pulled out onto the highway and merged into the stream of traffic headed east. The sun was sinking to the horizon behind her. She was leaving it behind, along with El Corazon.
Along with her heart.
She pushed away the thought and tried to stir up her anger. Alex had led her on and toyed with her heart. Trampled all over her insecurities and played her for a fool. He was a liar.
Then why couldn’t she stop her mind from watching the highlight reel of all the tender things he’d done?
The way he’d opened the restaurant door and taken her in from the storm, taken care of her.
How concerned he’d been about his grandmother. How he hadn’t minded helping out the teenagers.
How gently he’d bandaged Bear’s foot.
She reached over and rubbed the dog’s shaggy back. “You liked him, didn’t you? You thought he was a nice guy, too, right?”
Bear let out a sigh and then curled up, resting his large head on the seat beside him.
She turned on the radio, trying to escape her own thoughts. But neither news nor music could push away the image of all those kids clinging to Alex’s arms, of how he’d laughed and let them do it.
She thought of his kiss.
Of the look on his face when she’d yelled at him.
He lied to me. He rejected me just like Carl had.
From somewhere — maybe from her own mind and maybe from God — a voice asked: Did he really reject you or did you reject him?
She let the question in.
He’d misled her but he hadn’t actually rejected her. In fact, he’d tried to open the door to explain, several times.
They’d known each other less than twenty-four hours and he hadn’t shared his whole life story with her. Big deal.
But it was a big deal, because he’d purposely kept things from her. He’d admitted as much.
But had he done it for devious reasons or with bad intentions?
She didn’t even know his reasons.
What Carl had done, the months of lies and cheating, had been unforgivable. But Alex keeping a chunk of his past from her? A misdemeanor at best. Or maybe the misdemeanor was on her for expecting so much from a near stranger who didn’t even know her scars.
Would she let Carl and his betrayal run her whole life, determine her future, and keep her away from an awesome guy? A man whom she’d only begun to know, who clearly had some stuff to work out on his own, but still an awesome guy?
There was a road sign. U-turn ahead.
She could make a U-turn.
She could go back. See what he had to say.
Was that what she wanted to do?
She pulled on the steering wheel and pressed hard on the break, skidding into the turn so fast she almost went off the road.
The hour-long ride back to the El Corazon’s parking lot felt like days. When she finally arrived, it was emptier than it had been when she’d left. A family with small kids was leaving and Javier was helping a trio of older ladies into a car.
So Alex was still inside — maybe. Probably.
And she knew, suddenly, what she had to do.
She wasn’t going to let Carl and his rejection determine the course of her life. Not anymore.
She let Bear out of the car and he bounded around in the slushy snow while she opened the rear hatch of her car and rummaged through her things.
She pulled out the high-heeled shoes she’d worn the night Carl had dumped her. And there was the slinky red dress she’d felt proud in... until Carl had told her she looked fat in it. No more of that.
The restaurant’s back door opened and Veronica came out, hauling a bag of trash. Bear ran up to her and she tossed the trash into a dumpster and turned, curiosity on her face. “Patricia?”
“Yep, it’s me. I came back. Listen... can you find me a place to change?”
Veronica nodded immediately and turned toward the restaurant, beckoning to Patricia and grabbing Bear’s collar. “You’ve got it. Come on. I’ll handle the dog.”
Behind the storeroom was a small bathroom, marked “Para Los Madres/For Mothers,” complete with a rocking chair, a changing table, and a full-length mirror. “I’ll give you your privacy,” Veronica said, and closed the door. “Come on, Bear, Mama’s got some business to take care of.”
Patricia put on the dress and freshened her makeup, and brushed out her hair. Then she checked herself in the mirror.
Biting her lip, she smoothed the front of her dress and tugged on the hem. The dress didn’t hide her curves, and, yeah, a few extra pounds.
You’re a beautiful woman.
Alex had said it to her, several times, and she had to admit that he wasn’t the only one. She’d gotten enough whistles at construction sites, enough compliments on dates, to know that there were men who found her appealing.
No, her body wasn’t to everyone’s taste. Yes, she liked good food too well to diet her way to skinniness. But she was the way God had made her.
She took a deep breath, shot up a quick prayer for courage, and headed down the stairs.
>
The party room had emptied out to half of its former rowdiness. Abuela sat at a table, her cheeks flushed, talking to Veronica and another young woman. Two couples danced to quiet, romantic music. In a corner, Alex sat talking to the brother someone had introduced as Daniel, elbows resting on knees.
He was so handsome.
And he looked so sad.
In the doorway, she hesitated. What if he laughed in her face? What if he rejected her the same way Carl had? What if he thought she looked fat in her dress?
But that was the risk she had to take if she ever wanted to be confident, defined by no one’s opinion other than God’s.
She pulled her shoulders back and strode across the room toward Alex.
His brother saw her first and made a quiet comment.
Alex looked up, and saw her, and the shock — and joy — on his face was unmistakable. Instantly he was on his feet. He approached her, clasped her upper arms in his hands, and gazed into her eyes.
“You came back,” his words an intense whisper. “Patricia... what does this mean?”
But right now, she didn’t want to talk, to analyze, so she let her hands slide up to clasp his. “Would you like to dance?”
He stared at her, tilted his head, and smiled. “Nothing better.” And then he pulled her into his arms. “You are breathtakingly beautiful,” he murmured into her ear.
She squeezed her eyes shut as warmth spread from her heart through her entire body.
When the music stopped he led her to a corner of the room by the fireplace, a quiet space where they could talk. “What made you come back?”
“I wasn’t fair to you. I was looking at you through other lenses that had nothing to do with you.”
He shook his head. “You weren’t wrong. I deserved what you did, but it sure made me unhappy.”
“Alex.” She reached out to clasp his hand. “You’re a good person. I don’t think you realize it, but there’s so much more to you than the whole successful athlete, rich-guy thing. You’re a thinker, and fun, and you have a huge heart. Your biggest problem is that you’re maybe a little hard on yourself.”
“So you’re not angry anymore?”
She smiled at him. “I’m not angry.”
“And do you... could you stay in town? Maybe explore what we might have together?”
She wrapped her other hand around his, looked into his eyes, and shook her head. “No. Alex, you’re a very special man. And I wanted to make sure I had the chance to tell you that, to say thank you for taking me in. To let you know I misjudged you and I’m sorry.”
His face crinkled with concern. “Then why are you saying no? You told me you didn’t have set plans for the future, that you weren’t sure—”
She held up a hand. “I didn’t. I still don’t know what I’m doing, for sure. But I’m going to go through with my plan of visiting my old college roommate in Indianapolis. I need to take some time to explore where I want to be and what I want to do. And then I’m going to start doing it.”
“But I feel so much for you, Patricia, more than I’ve ever felt for anyone in my life. Are you saying there’s nothing for us, no chance?”
His caring words sent joy soaring through her heart. She stood, and despite the tears in her eyes, she’d never felt stronger. “I didn’t say there’s no chance. But you have some things to work out and so do I. We’ve known each other two days, Alex. That’s not enough to build a relationship on. And I need to stop defining myself by what a man thinks. I need to do things for myself.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it. Slowly, he nodded.
“And you need to figure out who you are, who you’re going to be. Right now, you don’t need to have a woman limiting you to a certain role or future.”
“And maybe after we both figure some things out...” He reached out to caress her face. “We could see where this leads?”
“No promises,” she forced herself to say above the noise of her pounding heart. “But it could happen.”
He shook his head, his eyes intent on her. “I don’t like it, but... you’re probably right. How’d you get so sure of yourself?”
“I am sure.” And she was. Every word she’d said had come from deep inside her, from a place of power.
“Can we stay in touch?”
“Of course! Give me your phone.” And she punched her number into it. “Call me, text me, as often as you want. I will be so happy to hear from you.”
“Wait just one minute.” He pulled her to his side in front of the fire and held out the phone to snap a picture of them together. “I need to be able to look at your beautiful face when I’m missing you.”
“Send it to me? I’d love a picture of us together.”
“And I’d love an excuse to send the first text.”
Head held high, she walked out of El Corazon. Had she done the right thing? Time would tell. But she did know she’d left a piece of her heart behind.
Chapter 13
August, Five Months Later
On a warm August day, Patricia drove back into the town of Arcadia Valley, her heart skittering like she was about to cross a tightrope.
She was here for Veronica.
But if she happened to see Alex, well...
He’d been quiet about her upcoming visit, and they hadn’t made specific plans. She had to admit, that hurt a little. But she’d been engrossed in her online studies, and her seasonal summer job as a park ranger seemed to be translating into more permanent job possibilities, all of them requiring applications and recommendation letters and phone interviews. She hadn’t had much time to think about what would actually happen when she arrived.
She smiled as she thought back over the daily texts, long phone calls, and epic emails. In a strange way, they’d gotten to know each other better than they would have if they’d spent that time together in person. Without the distraction of his looks, fame, and money right in her face, she’d been able to discover the person underneath, and she liked that person. A lot.
And she’d been able to reveal herself to him, free of worries about whether her body lived up to societal ideals. In fact, they’d talked about that very thing, and Alex had let her know in very clear terms that he liked her — all of her — just as she was.
Best of all, they’d spent time talking about their faith. Alex seemed to grow more confident every week about being adequate as a person and a Christian, and he spoke with conviction of his renewed trust in God’s plan. As for Patricia, her prayer life had grown richer as she began to include Alex and the Quintana family in it, and to believe that there was a chance that her future would be connected with theirs.
Veronica had been inviting her to come to town practically since she’d left, and finally, Patricia agreed. She felt like now, it was okay to come. She was strong, independent from the opinions of others, especially men. A child of God.
As soon as she pulled into El Corazon, she frowned. The parking lot was almost empty. Alex had expressed worry about the decline in customers, but was the restaurant really doing that badly?
“Patricia!” Veronica came running out of the restaurant’s front door and ushered her inside, talking a mile a minute. “Come in and get a bite to eat now before we go to my place. I have no food. I’ll even have to borrow something from the restaurant for breakfast. You’ll see I’m not that great of a host, but I’m totally glad you’re here.”
She paused for breath and Patricia laughed and hugged her. “You’re so excited, girl, it’s making me glad I came.”
“You look fantastic, by the way.”
“I feel great, too.” It was the truth. She’d been working out and eating well and taking care of herself. She hadn’t lost weight, but she’d gained energy and confidence and she felt good.
It took all her willpower not to ask about Alex. She didn’t want Veronica to think she’d come to see her brother.
She hadn’t... not entirely, anyway.
“Now you just sit yourself down an
d relax, and I’ll pull together an early dinner for us. If you want to go out into the dining room, you can. We don’t have any customers right now. It’s terrible how badly the restaurant is doing. Something has to change.”
“I’ll just stay here in the kitchen and talk to you.” Patricia looked around and emotions filled her. The time she’d spent here with Alex had been life-changing. It had been the turning point from the miserable insecurity of the past with Carl, and the healthy happy path she was on today.
Getting stuck down the road from El Corazon had been a God thing, for sure.
Veronica seemed nervous. “Here, we’ll eat out at a table. Would you mind taking these out there?” She handed Patricia a couple of rolled napkins and a basket of tortilla chips. “I’ll be right behind you.”
“Sure thing.” She walked into the dining room, squinting into the dim light.
And there, sitting at a table in front of the fire, was Alex. When she entered the room he stood, but he didn’t approach her. He just tilted his head to one side and looked at her. Really looked.
The sight of his handsome face and soulful brown eyes gave her heart a great leap. As if in slow motion she set down the napkins and centerpiece, never taking her eyes off of him. “What are you doing here?”
“Having dinner with you. I hope.” He took a step toward her, then stopped.
“But Veronica...” The light dawned. “Have I been tricked?”
“Just a little. And it wasn’t my idea. Veronica really does want you here to visit her. But they’ve been nudging me to talk to you for a couple of months, and—”
“Wait a minute. Why are they nudging you?” She had to stop and take a deep breath, try to calm her heart a little. “We’ve been talking a lot, right?”
He pulled out the chair opposite him, and then held out a hand. “Would you like to sit down?”
“S-sure.” She took one hesitant step toward him, then another. When their hands touched, an electrical current zipped from her fingers directly to her heart.
This was Alex, the handsome cook — and famous athlete — who’d sent her emotions on a roller coaster during that snowy weekend in March. But this was also the sensitive, complex man who’d been calling, texting, and writing to her faithfully, letting her know, for months, that he cared about her.
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