Carrie could see her niece was struggling with what to say and waited patiently. Normally she would brush it off not wanting to put her on the spot but in this instance it seemed she wanted to get whatever she was thinking out. And it was the first thing she had asked of her. Up until now she had simply been agreeing to everything, any idea or thought she had thrown out. Not once had she suggested anything on her own. Asked for anything. Until now.
Carrie had seen the signs on the road for the island before but had never been there. She hadn't even been certain whether it was the name of a town or a true island as it had most certainly turned out to be. It was certainly small and easily reached from the long stretch of road that led out to it. Actually it was more a bridge than a road but none the less it was definitely easier than having to take a ferry out to it which could be done as well from a location further down the shoreline.
She had been charmed by it. Could see how it would draw her niece. Very much like a fairy tale of a town. Little cottages dotted the landscape. The small downtown area brought to mind a village from another place, another time. They'd walked along the wooden sidewalks stopping at every single store. Some had been geared towards tourism. Others had been obviously the heart of their town. A small grocer that carried just about everything but often only one brand. There was little choice but plenty to choose from. There was a small drug store that would put most major chain drugstores to shame with all they carried in such a small and compact space. It was indeed like going back in time. She would bet her bottom dollar that most the cottages on the island were half the size of her grandmother's house which was small by any standard. It was perfect for Mary as it had been for their grandmother with its two bedrooms, small living areas and spacious kitchen. She'd be surprised if the cottages had more than a single living area and a single bedroom with a small separate kitchen. They seemed like little dollhouses with gorgeous pastel shutters and huge flower gardens that would make even the most ardent gardener green with envy.
And it was the last place in the world she would expect to catch her teenage niece's attention to the point she would want to return there. She was just about to change the subject when Addie finally seemed to settle on what it was she wanted to say.
"I'd really like to go back and just walk around again. It was so cool that you could walk from one side of the island to the other and look out over the water from almost anyplace on the island." She scuffed her feet around almost as if she was doing an easy stand in place dance. "And I thought maybe your Mom, I mean, I just was thinking she might like it." She looked at Carrie unaware of how beseeching her eyes were, how timid she sounded and it broke Carrie's heart because Addie had never in her short life come a mile close to being timid.
"You know, you are so right and I could kick myself for not thinking about it first. She would love it." Carrie picked up a couple of the bags with the thought to start hauling them upstairs. "We'll talk to her about it tonight over dinner and pick a day next week that works for everyone and make a day trip out of it."
"That would be neat." She followed her aunt with as many bags as she could handle going up the stairs. "She's been so nice to me."
"You're really easy to be nice to, Addie." Carrie silently patted herself on the back. Putting her mother and Addie together had been one of her better ideas. Her mother might have the tendency to drive her nuts, often on purpose for the sheer entertainment value it brought her, but she was awesome with kids and it was obvious she'd clicked with Addie.
"She let me pick out one of the dresses she's going to paint me in."
Carrie had to tilt her head to hear the softly spoken words, almost reverently whispered.
"And then she picked out five more."
Carrie heard the awe, turned to study her niece's expression. It matched her voice. "Are they cool?" She might not have children of her own but she remembered the vernacular. She watched with a mix of amusement and a healthy dose of admiration for her mother as her teenage niece, who was still trying to recover emotionally from what could easily knock down and keep down an adult twice her age, rolled her eyes in the universal "Get Real" expression. When she dug into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a worn and obviously often folded and unfolded paper she couldn't help but take a step closer to see what it was. Even before it was unfolded for her examination she could see it was a page torn out of a catalog of some sort.
"This is one of them." Addie carefully handed over the picture of the one they'd found in one of the multitude of catalogues Aunt Charlie had in her studio. She liked saying that. Aunt Charlie. Before all she'd had was her Aunt Carrie and up until her arrival she’d been desperately terrified she might be lost to her when she and her uncle were divorced. "This is one of the ones Aunt Charlie picked out." She looked at it as she had untold times since she'd asked if she could keep the torn out page. "Isn't it awesome?"
Carrie studied the dress carefully as she knew she was expected to. It was indeed a fairy tale of a dress. Something she could easily imagine being worn by a fairy tale princess to the ball. Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella would have been envious of this dress and she could see her mother picking it out for Addie for that very reason. And, Carrie thought on a quiet sigh, she wanted the portrait of Addie in this gown for herself. And knowing Casey she was going to pay dearly for it. Her cousin didn't believe in family discounts.
"It's like a fairy tale in real life." She looked up from the picture, ran her hand along her niece's too slender face, tilted her chin up to where she could see her eyes. "And you are going to look like the most beautiful fairy princess." She watched the eyes that stared so solemnly, too solemnly at her, fill. "Don't do that Addie," she said softly, pulling her into a hug wondering which of them needed it more.
"I don't mean to," Addie said on a soft hiccup. Breathing in deep she struggled against the sobs that seemed to be forever lingering just out of reach but always reaching for the surface every time she didn't keep close enough watch against them. "I just seem to always be on the verge of crying. I can't help it." She held on to her aunt, spoke what she couldn't tell her mother. "I'm so scared. I can't get away from being so scared."
Carrie held on tighter. She knew fear. What it could do to a person. "Of what honey?"
"I don't know. Not anything special." Addie closed her eyes on the weariness that was always so close by. "Just scared." She swallowed hard. "Sometimes really scared."
Carrie cleared her throat, uncertain of exactly what to say yet knew her words had to be right. Silence wasn't an option. "Addie, sometimes when things happen, bad things, and you suddenly feel like nothing is ever going to be exactly the same again..." she struggled as the arms clenched around her waist tightened, wished desperately she could give this precious child back the innocence of childhood that had been so wretchedly stolen from her. "Oh baby, sometimes it can seem like nothing will ever be right again, that any little thing can scare you. And maybe for a while it will but after some time it gets better. Things will still scare you but not like they did. And somewhere along the way they might annoy you but they won't frighten you." She paused before continuing. "And while things might not ever be the way they were they can and will be better." She leaned back, waited for Addie to look at her. "And there's something you need to remember. No matter what scares you or how often you feel scared, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere and there's no way I'm going to let anyone or anything hurt you." She leaned her forehead down against her niece's. "I've been where you are, Addie. I know how scary it is. And there's nothing I won't do to help you through this the best I can."
"Like when you and Uncle Nick got divorced."
Carrie heard the tentative caution in the statement. Understood that there was concern that this was off limits. She sighed. There was no getting away from some things. "Yes. Like that," she said softly.
"Aunt Carrie..."
"Ummm?"
"I'll get grounded for life if my Mom or Dad ever know I said this...."
Carrie knew she should say that it would be best then not to say anything. She was the adult in the room. Instead she stayed silent. Waiting.
"You are so better off without him," Addie said in a rush. And decided to finish it. "He's is so much a moron," she added with no little amount of defiance in her words. She might get grounded for the rest of her life but it would be worth it.
Carrie was barely able to contain the childish giggle that threatened to erupt. With a calm that was completely for show and what she hoped sounded far more adult than she felt at the moment she responded in the only way she knew how.
"You're not going to get grounded because it's between you and me and will stay that way because it’s really hard for me to allow you to get in trouble for something I agree with you about." She might have been able to control her own laughter but was happily relieved to hear the giggles bubble up out of her niece. "But we're going to keep that between the two of us. Deal?"
"Okay." She pushed the crumpled picture of the dress she couldn't believe she'd soon be wearing back into her pocket. "Can we really go back to the island sometime? And maybe take your Mom with us?"
"You bet." She made a mental note to herself to get her mother in private and have a little chat with her. "Maybe next Tuesday or Wednesday but for certain next week sometime." She took her niece's small hand in her own. "How about you help me bring up the rest of the bags, then we'll separate things out and you can try on those cute shirts we got you." She didn't even wait for an answer, instead leading her down the stairs to where the remainder of the bags waited.
Grace looked up from her paperwork when the bell on the store's front door rang. She was slightly surprised to see Carrie. "Anything wrong?"
"Nothing more than the normal and I've only got a little bit of time. Addie's hanging out with my mother for the moment but I want to get back to the house before she comes back in."
"She's getting along well with your Mom?"
"Honestly." She pegged her friend with a steady look. "Any thoughts I had of setting Addie up with a couple of counseling sessions have fallen to the wayside considering how much good my mother is doing for her without making any effort beyond being her normal self."
"That's good news."
"That's how I see it." Carrie drew imaginary doodles with her fingertips on Grace's desk that was strategically set up just inside the front door. "Mary was telling me about your idea to help out Addie. I had a thought yesterday when I was talking with her. It dawned on me that so many kids, probably even adults, that find themselves a victim of this kind of situation may be all alone and on their own in dealing with what happened to them. Some because they're too embarrassed to share what they've been caught up in with anyone else. And some simply because people don't know how to help. I don't know what you're looking for but I was thinking that the concept of simply being there, not letting anyone go through something like this alone is so important. I know how hard this has been on Addie and I simply can't fathom what it would be like if someone had to go through getting past something like this with no support system to speak of."
"Anyone but especially teenagers or even kids. It doesn't have to be something like what was done to Addie and Lord knows that’s tragic for a child her age." Grace had found herself thinking about this a lot, more than she would have years ago. But then it hadn't been an issue years ago. "I can't get my mind past what young kids must have to deal with when a so called friend puts something embarrassing about them up on social media. For some just the time in school can be horrendous. Now they have no escape even beyond the time spent in school from bullies who prey on anyone they don't deem worthy."
"And it stays there forever." Carrie saw the question in her friend's eyes. "And yes, Addie has already come to realize that. She may get past this, she will get past this," she corrected adamantly. "But those photos and that blasted video will always be out there to pop up no matter how far she gets from it."
"You know," Grace started, her mind working quickly once it got in motion. "I wonder if combining those two aspects of this could be the best way to approach this. That no one should go through this alone, that no one is alone because we've all been there in one form or another, maybe not featured for all perpetuity on the internet, but we've all dealt with horrible embarrassing situations."
"That's for certain."
"That along with how it is different now because it doesn't go away. It never just drops off the internet. It just simmers there until it pops up as a result of someone's search and then depending on the situation may very well make the rounds again, make the top ten on one of those most viewed lists or God knows what." She finished with no little bit of exasperation. She looked at Carrie with a light in her eyes that hadn't been there before. "I've got a definite idea now, it will take other people but I don't think that will be a problem." She tapped her fingers on the desk grateful for the slow day so far. Not a soul had come in the store since they'd been talking and she was for once grateful for it. "I think we need to talk with Dave." She watched the concern take root in Carrie's expression. "I'm not planning anything illegal or even close to it I just want to get his thoughts on what we can and can't say. I'm pretty certain I know what the boundaries are but I just want to cross all our t's and dot all our i's."
"Okay." Carrie agreed cautiously. She'd had her fill of lawyers of late. She might adore her cousin. She might even envy him his dedication to his profession. But she'd rather not need it in any form or manner any time soon.
Grace saw the concern and would have thought less of the woman before her if she hadn't. "Let me tell you what I've been thinking about and you can tell me if I'm crazy or not."
Carrie took her time walking back to the house. She'd almost veered in the other direction to make a quick stop at Mary's and run everything Grace and she had spoken of to see what her cousin thought of it. But she hadn't. Because she knew without asking what she would say. And she would be right. Addie didn't just need everyone's unwavering support. Resolute and unconditional love and encouragement, a strong and unbreachable emotional brick wall holding back all the forces that she knew battered at her young niece simply weren't enough. She needed to get a bit of her own back. Not revenge. She could never and she knew not a single member of her family who would justify vengeful behavior of any kind. But standing up against what had been done to her. Not necessarily the who. That would serve no purpose. But looking for justice for herself and all those like her who had come before and would no doubt come after. That was the sense of self her Addie needed. And it was what Grace was carefully mapping out to provide for her.
She sighed quietly, with no little bit of shame aimed at herself. She stood at the end of the sidewalk that would lead her to the front door of the home that stood for so much. To so many. Not just to her. Not just in the here and now. If it had been left to her she may have well swept it under the rug, or at least tried to. Kept Addie busy day and night until the pain was something that her niece could take out at will and examine like a piece of fine and fragile parchment paper. Strong until you tore it. That was the method she had so often chosen for herself. Until recently. She let her gaze sweep over the neighborhood that surrounded her. Homes that had stood for decades. Weathered but still standing. And many of them only that much more beautiful because of the passage of time and the battle scars they bore with pride. That was what she wanted for herself. To stand up to all that came at her instead of hovering in some corner wishing it away. How could she want ...or demand any less for her precious niece.
"You look like you could use a break from all those deep thoughts."
The steady and deep voice penetrated her concentration. The thread of concern she heard only because it was so unusual for him gave her pause. For a moment. She'd been half expecting him if she was honest with herself. The week was almost up. And even if she could come up with a plausible excuse she wasn't sure she wanted to. Hadn't s
he just been telling herself there would be no more hovering in corners where it was safe?
"Court." How many times had she actually said his name out loud instead of just in the deepest recesses of her mind?
"You look worn out." He'd almost driven past especially since she hadn't even moved at the sound of his truck pulling up then shutting off. "Is Addie okay?"
"She's ..." how could you explain how someone just got through the day, then the next, and sometimes just barely. "She's going to make it through this."
"And you're going to make sure of it, aren't you."
She wondered at the certainty in his voice. Had Nick ever had that kind of confidence in her? In her capabilities. Had she? She took a breath and made the step forward that would little allow for turning back on several fronts. "I have some thoughts along with Grace on something that might help her. Give her the chance to help others in her position which might help her even more." She looked up at his face. She saw nothing but patient acceptance and quiet support. "Would you like to hear them?" She took the hand he held out and began to tell him what had come together in her conversation with Grace as they walked to the front door of her mother's childhood home.
CHAPTER THREE
"Aunt Carrie made it sound like this was a mess." Addie wandered around the bright sunlight lit room wondering how people could live in rooms filled with so many windows.
"Oh, it was honey. Believe me. I hired a cleaning crew to clean out the worse of it then spent two days here myself with Casey taking care of the rest of it."
"And now Mallie and Aunt Charlie are going to decorate it."
"Some of the rooms. I think we're going to spread it out a bit more than that, I'm just not certain exactly how yet. Casey's still working all that out." Mary wondered if the child heard the wistfulness in her own voice. Wondered too if pairing up Beth, Mallie, and Addie to do a room for the special series would be something Casey would consider. It was certainly something she was going to ask her to. "Addie, your aunt's talked with you about what she and Grace are working out, hasn't she?" She knew she had, had made sure of it before setting up this little excursion.
Summer Street Secrets (The Hills of Burlington Book 3) Page 5
