by James Harden
All the running has taken its toll on Jack and Sarah. Sarah is again looking pale and sickly. She holds her severed arm close to her chest. She must be in an extreme amount of pain. Jack’s leg is bleeding heavily. We need to tend to our wounded before we attempt to do anything else.
Before we attempt to make our escape.
Before we attempt to run off into the desert, or climb the walls.
Before we attempt to make a stand and fight Marko the Maniac.
But whatever we decide to do, Jack and Sarah need to be looked after first.
“We need supplies,” I say. “First aid supplies.”
“Do you think there’s a pharmacy or medical center close by?” Maria asks. “This town is way too small to have its own hospital. But it’s got to have something.”
Kenji moves over to Sarah. He kneels down next to her. “Sarah? Any ideas? Is there a medical center here? A pharmacy?”
“I’m not sure,” Sarah whispers. “I don’t know the town that well.” She takes a deep breath and for a second it looks like she’s about to throw up. “This isn’t working,” she says.
“What’s not working?” Kenji asks.
“This… this whole thing. It’s not working. We shouldn’t be alive.”
“It is working,” I say. “We’re not out of danger yet. But we’re alive. We’re alive because we have each other.”
Sometimes, usually when my friends are doubting themselves and our chances of survival, I become super optimistic. I wish this optimism could last. But Sarah shakes her head because she doesn’t believe it, doesn’t believe my words. She has completely lost faith in us, in our group, in herself.
In me.
“No,” she says quietly to me. “We’ve been lucky. Plain and simple. Running. Fighting. Surviving. We’ve all been living from day to day. Hour to hour. But we can’t keep doing this. No one can live like this. Have you given any thought about what we’re going to do long term? Have you thought about the future? Finding a home? Making a life worth living? How the hell are we supposed to do that?”
“Of course I’ve been thinking about it,” I tell her. “It’s all I ever think about.”
And maybe that was a lie. It’s not all I think about, but I do think about it a lot. How could you not? It’s a huge question. It is a big and scary question. It is an elephant in the room. An elephant that no one wants to acknowledge, least of all me. And why the hell is there a goddamn elephant in the room? How did it get here? What does it want? How do we get rid of it?
The answers are not pretty.
“We’re all thinking about it,” Kim adds. “We’re all thinking about what we’re going to do, what we have to do. We’re all thinking about the future.”
“Well?” Sarah asks with hope in her eyes and in her voice. Hope and desperation. She wants me to say something. She wants Kim or Kenji to say something, anything that will make it all better.
She wants us to point out the window, to a home, a castle in the clouds, a refuge from the dead and the dying and the killers. But the only thing we can see out the window is the dead and fallen town of Kingswood and a giant black wall. And I don’t have any answers, not any good ones. I don’t have a home or a castle I can point to. Nothing tangible. Nothing real. I have an idea in my head. I have a picture, a fantasy of a place where we can live. But that’s all it is at this point… a fantasy. And this fantasy, this magical place is so far away it might as well not even exist.
I don’t say any of this. Instead I say. “Look, it’s simple. We need to find a home. We all know this. We need to find some place safe. If we don’t… we die. Maybe not right away, but eventually, we die. It could take weeks. Or months. But eventually our luck will run out. And we’ll be forced into a corner and we won’t get out of that corner. To avoid a quick death, to avoid a slow death, we need to find a home. If we can find a home, a sanctuary, we can build a future.”
And our life expectancy will improve dramatically. Because right now our life expectancy was… what?
A few minutes?
A few hours?
A few days?
“So how the hell do we do that?” Sarah asks.
“I don’t know,” I say. “I honestly don’t know.
Kenji moves over to the window. He appears to be scanning the street. “I know.”
Suddenly all eyes are on him. He has our full attention. And I know what he will say. Of course I know. I think we all know.
He’ll say that we’ll need to do things that we do not want to do, things that go against our nature, that defy our nature. We will be forced into this. A horrifying life. A slow, waking nightmare from which the only escape is death. We will need to become killers. We will need to become cold blooded and ruthless. We will need to shut off the part of ourselves that is human, we will need to kill the things that make us human, we will need to ignore our conscience, ignore the little voice in our head, the angel on our shoulder that says, it is wrong to kill, it is wrong.
And Kenji says, “This town is miles from anywhere… from nowhere. There is no home in the desert. No future. The cities are dead and they belong to the dead. They are completely and totally ruined and there is nothing for us, no future for us in any city or suburb or any part of the civilized world.” He points to the black wall. It appears to be immovable. Indestructible. “That’s our best chance of survival. Getting behind those walls. A part of this little town has survived. Against all odds it has survived. And against all odds we have made it here. We made it together. Our lives, our future, everything depends on getting behind those walls. And then doing whatever it takes to stay behind those walls.”
Whatever it takes.
“What are you saying?” Maria asks.
“I’m saying we’ll need to take that place by force. Deadly force. I’m not going to leave our survival up to someone else, to the whims of a madman who calls himself the Desert King. I say we infiltrate and we take it over. We do whatever is necessary to survive.”
We take it by force.
We kill anyone who challenges us.
Maybe this is as much of a fantasy as finding a castle in the clouds. Because I’m looking at Maria… I’m looking inside myself, and I’m realizing that right now, we are not killers. We are not Special Forces soldiers. We are just not capable of doing the things that Kenji is talking about. And if we can’t do what is necessary, if we can’t pull off this hostile takeover, how many of us will die? How many of us will be killed during this mission? I wish Daniel was still here.
“It’s us or them,” Kenji says.
And I’m thinking, this is how wars are started. This is why wars are started. And this is what it feels like, it feels like we are going to war.
“But before we do any of that,” Kenji continues. “We need to make sure we’re as fit and prepared as we can possibly be. Which means we need supplies. Medical supplies. Food and water. And of course, we need weapons.”
“Are you sure you don’t know of any places around here that would have medical supplies on hand?” Maria asks Sarah.
No answer from Sarah. She’s looking weaker and weaker. From blood loss. From losing hope. From being surrounded by death and dead things. She has her eyes closed tight, grimacing in pain. She simply shakes her head.
“A fire station,” Jack says, thinking out loud. Mainly talking to himself. “I think I saw one on our way in. I’m pretty sure there was a fire truck being used as part of the barricade.”
“Really?” I ask. “I didn’t see it.”
“Yeah. There were a couple of school buses behind the wall of tires. And I’m pretty sure there was a fire truck as well. Although, I guess I could be mistaken.”
“A fire station,” Maria says. “That would be a good place to start. Provided the infected have actually cleared out.”
“We need a map,” Jack adds. And then after a while he says, “I miss the internet.”
“Wait,” Kim says. “This is a hotel. There has to be a front d
esk somewhere.”
“I don’t remember seeing one.”
“It might be downstairs. Near the bar?”
“So what if there is?”
“They’ll have maps of the town. A brochure. Information for guests and tourists and stuff like that. And we should check the police station for supplies as well. They’ll have a first aid kit. And maybe some of their weapons will still be locked up.”
“But won’t those maps and pamphlets be for tourist activities?” Jack says.
“Tourist activities? This isn’t a tourist spot. What are tourists going to do out here?”
“I don’t know. Maybe they could go panning for gold in the river?”
“That sounds like fun,” Maria says, thinking of a time, a life where people could take a vacation and pretend to be gold prospectors. A time when gold still held some value.
“Look, this is a small town, right?” Kenji says. “A pharmacy won’t be that hard to find. All we have to do is stick to the main streets where all the shops are. We’re bound to find something useful.”
“They’ve probably been raided and looted already,” I say.
“Yeah, well, we won’t know that until we look.”
There’s no time to rest. No time to catch our breath.
Jack and Sarah both need urgent help. They need medicine and antibiotics and pain killers. Well, what they really need is a hospital and a team of expert surgeons to fix them up. Especially Sarah. But since this is the end of the world and there’s no possibility of that happening, a pharmacy or a first aid kit is the next best option.
Hell, I’ll take a pack of band aids at this point. Maybe one with little pictures of Donald Duck or Mickey Mouse on them.
We quickly decide who goes and who stays behind. Well, Kenji decides, but everyone agrees with him.
He says, “Kim, you stay here with Jack and Sarah. If something happens here, these two won’t be able to defend themselves. You’re on protection duty.”
“No problem,” Kim says.
“Wait, what about Marko?” Maria asks.
“You heard the dirt bike,” I say. “He’s rounding the infected up, leading them away. Just like he did at the Boneyard. This means we have time. But we have to be quick. We have to go now.”
“And we have to be ready for when he gets back,” Kenji says.
“Ready for what exactly?” Maria asks, looking completely unsure of herself, completely not wanting to confront Marko at this point.
“For anything,” Kenji answers. “He’s coming for us, which means we will need to take care of him.”
“You mean kill him,” she says.
“Yes. It’s no good running from this guy. He won’t stop. He’s already chased us halfway across the damn outback. We need to get rid of him once and for all.”
We need to put a bullet in his brain. Through his brain.
We need to put a wooden stake through his heart.
We need to remove his head from his shoulders.
Burn the body.
Perform an exorcism.
Jack and Sarah and Kim stay behind.
Kenji reminds them to stay hidden even though he doesn’t need to remind them. And then Jack tells us to be careful even though he doesn’t need to.
We say our goodbyes. Kenji and Maria and I make our way downstairs.
Chapter 2
I ask Kenji what the hell are we going to do for weapons. He tells me at this point we’re going to have to improvise.
“Improvise?” Maria says. “What do you mean by that?
“If we can’t find anything useful, we’ll need to make our own weapons.”
“Umm, how do we do that?”
“We should be able to find some knives somewhere, maybe a couple of axes. If there’s a hardware store around here, that would be a good place to start. Maybe we can find some wood to use as a spear handle, even a broomstick that we can cut down to length. Then we can fasten a knife to the end of the stick. Make ourselves a nice homemade spear.”
This kind of weapon would be a massive downgrade from the military assault rifles that we’ve been accustomed to finding. But now that we have moved away from the military bases, these makeshift weapons will have to do.
We make our way downstairs and we decide to bring some of the pub’s furniture to stack around the main entrance. That way, if anyone or anything wanted to get inside, they’d make a lot of noise moving the chairs and tables out of the way. It wasn’t the world’s greatest barricade, actually, I’m not even sure it classified as a barricade, but it was the best we could manage. Ideally, we’d want a much more solid, much sturdier fortification to hide behind. And we’d also want everyone to stick together right now. If we had the others on this scavenger hunt we’d be able to carry more stuff. But I think everyone understands that splitting up right now is a necessity. I think everyone knows that we only have a small window of opportunity to find supplies and scurry back to our hiding place before Marko rides into town on his dirt bike.
It’s a good thing the town is deserted… Wait, we don’t know that. Maybe he led all of the infected out of town and maybe he didn’t. There might be some stragglers left behind. We need to be ready for that. I need to be ready for it. Now is not the time to get complacent.
We make our way down one of the main streets. I can’t help but look over my shoulder one last time. The others should be relatively safe until we get back. I mean, no one would even know to look for them in that ruined and ransacked pub. Except maybe the people from behind the walls. I still get the feeling that they are watching us. Judging us. And I still don’t know why they didn’t let us in. Maybe they thought Sarah had been infected. Maybe there was too many of us. Or maybe they didn’t let us in because we were being chased by a massive horde of infected people. Letting us in at that point would’ve put everyone behind those walls in danger. So yeah, maybe I can see why they didn’t let us in.
I’m coming to grips with the fact that this is a new world with new rules. And every single one of us, every single survivor will be forced to make terrible, awful, cold blooded decisions. Killing people both innocent and guilty. Turning your back on people. Refusing help. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to bitch about it. Which I will totally do once we’re back at the pub, once we’ve found what we’re looking for.
We make our way to the next street over. We do this slowly, carefully. It appears to be empty. We can still see the top of the wall from our position. I scan the wall for any signs of life, for any signs of movement.
I see nothing.
No shadows. No silhouettes.
No watchers.
No one judging us.
Kenji points down the road. “This way. I think.”
Maria and I follow his lead. We turn a corner and enter what appears to be another main street. There’s plenty of shops. Nice restaurants. Small cafes. I see the hardware store. Kenji sees it as well and he waves us forward.
“Shouldn’t we be looking for medical supplies first?” I ask
“We need to arm ourselves,” Kenji says. “And since I don’t see any gun stores around, we’ll definitely need to improvise.”
“What did you have in mind?”
“Like I said, we should be able to find some knives. We can use them to make a variety of different weapons. But be on the lookout for anything else we can use. Baseball bats. Axes. Anything we can use as a weapon. Anything we can use to defend ourselves with.”
“Didn’t you have a small handheld axe?” Maria asks me.
I suddenly remember the hatchet I took from the boneyard. Where the hell did I leave it?
I think back and my memory clears and my mind shows me it’s exact resting place. “Yeah. I did have one. But I’m pretty sure I left it on the backseat of the Landcruiser.” I see the disappointed look on Maria and Kenji’s faces. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was panicking.”
“It’s OK,” Kenji says. “Not your
fault. We were being shot at. It’s OK.”
“Maybe we should look for it?” Maria suggests.
Kenji thinks this over. “Nah. I say we check the hardware store first. Who knows? Maybe we’ll find what we’re looking for. If not, then we can check the Landcruiser.”
We arrive at the hardware store and our hearts sink as we enter. The place has been looted. It has almost been completely picked clean. I guess the townspeople would’ve used a lot of the supplies from here to build and reinforce the barricades.
Anyway, despite the slim pickings, Kenji is able to find a set of steak knives and a couple of broomsticks.
A roll of duct tape.
“Dad used to call this stuff ‘hundred mile an hour’ tape,” Kenji says.
“Why?” Maria asks.
“Not sure. I never asked him why.” He stops, thinks back. “Weird. Don’t know why I didn’t ask him. Maybe I didn’t want to seem stupid. Anyway, I think it’s called that because you use it when you’re trying to do something really fast, when you’re cutting corners.”
“Like right now,” Maria says. “We need a weapon and we need it fast.”
“Exactly.”
He removes the bristles from each broom stick, and using the duct tape, quite a lot of it actually, he makes each of us a pretty decent spear. And even though this spear is nowhere near as good as a proper spear, or an axe, or a machete, or a military grade assault rifle, just holding the damn thing makes me feel better.
He also finds a heavy duty flashlight. Like the ones police use. “This will definitely come in handy,” he says, clicking it on to make sure it works.
“Damn, that thing is bright,” Maria says, shielding her eyes.
“Come on,” he says, putting the flashlight away. “Let’s go check the pharmacy. It’s only a few doors down the street. And then let’s get back to the others before it’s too late.”
Before Marko comes back.
Before the infected come back.