Ben fiddled with his spoon. “What did I do wrong now?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Man, he hated that his son’s default position was to assume he was in trouble. Had he really been riding him that hard? “This is about me and Hannah.”
Ben’s gaze flew to his face. “What about her?”
“Well, she and I have gotten to know each other. And it turns out we both like each other. So, we’ve decided to start dating.” He sounded like a game show host again, but he had no idea how he was supposed to sound when discussing his sex life with his thirteen-year-old son.
Ben’s eyes burned with intensity as he stared across the table. “What about Mom? Don’t you love her anymore?”
“Of course I still love her. But it’s been two years, mate, and sometimes it’s nice to have someone to go to the movies with and dinner and stuff.”
Ben’s lip curled. “You’re not going to the movies with Hannah. I’m not stupid. You’re doing it with her.”
“We’re dating,” Joe said firmly. “I wanted to give you guys a chance to get used to Hannah being back before I told you about us, but she told me you asked her about it last night.”
“Yeah, and she said you were just friends.”
“Because I asked her to. Like I said, I wanted you kids to have a chance to get used to her being around first.”
Ben stood. “Is that all?”
“Do you have any questions? Anything you want to talk about?” Joe asked.
Ben simply stared at him for a long moment. “No.”
There was no mistaking the anger and hurt in his face.
“Ben…”
“I’ve got homework to do.”
Ben strode for the hall. Just before he exited the kitchen he ducked his head and dashed his forearm across his eyes. Then he was gone.
Shit. Joe sat back in his chair for a second. That had gone well. Not.
He sighed, wondering if he should go after Ben or give him time to cool down and vent and cry a little.
The doorbell rang, the sound echoing through the house, and he pushed himself to his feet.
“I’ll get it,” Ruby called. He heard the thump of her feet on the floor as she ran to the door.
He was halfway up the hallway when he heard Hannah’s voice.
“Hey there, grease monkey. I came over to see if you wanted to get started early.”
A smile curved Hannah’s mouth when he entered the entrance hall and she saw him.
“Hi.”
Before he could respond, Ben strode between them and pointed a shaking finger at her.
“You’re a liar. A bloody liar,” he said.
“Ben!” Joe said, startled by the belligerence in his boy’s voice.
Ben shouldered his way rudely past Hannah and out the front door. Joe made eye contact with Hannah.
“Sorry.” Then he went after his son.
“What’s going on?” he heard Ruby say as he took the porch steps two at a time.
Ben hadn’t gone far. He stood beside the mailbox, his head bowed, his shoulders hunched. Braced, Joe guessed, for his father’s disapproval.
Joe stopped in front of him. “I asked Hannah to keep what was happening between us private. That’s why she told you we were just friends last night.”
“Then you’re a liar, too.”
“Yes, I guess I am, in this one case. But do you understand why I made that choice?”
Ben hunched a shoulder.
“Mate. Look at me.”
Ben slowly lifted his head. His face was filled with so much misery Joe’s chest ached.
“This doesn’t change anything between you and me and Ruby. It doesn’t mean I love your mom or any of you any less. It only means that Hannah and I are going to spend some time together.”
Ben broke eye contact and returned his gaze to the ground.
“Now, I want you to come apologize to Hannah.”
Ben stiffened. “No way. I didn’t do anything wrong. She’s the one who lied to me.”
“Because I asked her to. I thought you liked Hannah.”
“That was before she was screwing you.”
Joe flinched at the ugliness in Ben’s tone. Ben shot him a half afraid, half defiant look, clearly expecting his father to come down on him like a ton of bricks.
Joe leveled a finger at him. “I don’t want to hear that kind of language from you. Especially not toward women, and especially not toward Hannah. She’s been a good friend to our family.”
“She’s not my friend. You can’t make me like her.”
“No, but I can make you apologize. Right now.”
“Joe.”
He turned to find Hannah standing behind him, a concerned frown on her face.
“It’s okay,” she said.
“Ben needs to apologize to you.”
“He’s allowed to have his feelings,” she said. “I understand.”
Joe wavered, uncertain if he was setting a bad precedent by letting Ben get away with such disrespect. Hannah had a point, however. He’d brought much of this on himself by trying to protect his kids. And Ben did have a right to his feelings.
“I want you to go to your room,” he said to Ben.
“Fine.”
Ben speared Hannah with a burning look as he strode past her.
“I’m sorry. That was my fault,” Joe said.
“It’s all right. I’d be angry if I was in his shoes, too.”
Ruby appeared on the doorstep, a frown on her face.
“I need to talk to Ruby,” he said.
“I think she’s heard enough to have a fair idea of what’s going on.”
He shook his head. “What a screwup.”
“Yeah, well, it could have been worse.”
“How so?”
“They could have walked in when we were going at it like monkeys yesterday morning.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “There is that.”
“Let me know if there’s anything I can do, okay?” she said.
“Will do.”
She gave him a small smile before turning to wave to Ruby and walking away. He watched her for a moment, admiring the swing of her hips.
Then he took a deep breath and went to talk to his daughter.
LATER THAT NIGHT he fielded a call from his mother.
“I thought you should know that Ben phoned and asked if he could come live with me,” she announced.
Joe swore.
“That’s not going to solve anything,” his mother said.
“Thank you, I know that.” He took a deep breath and let it out again. His mother hadn’t done anything to earn his anger. “Sorry.”
“What’s going on? Did you two have a fight or something?”
“I’ve started dating someone. Ben doesn’t approve.” He filled his mother in briefly.
“Oh, Joe. You’ve made a real mess of things, haven’t you?”
He bit his tongue. She was only speaking the truth, after all.
“I’m open to suggestions,” he said.
“Who is this woman, anyway? How come I haven’t heard about her before?”
“She lives next door.”
“The girl Ruby has taken such a shine to?”
“She’s hardly a girl.”
“She sounds very young to me from what Ruby has told me.”
“She’s in her late twenties.” He was thirty-six. He figured it was a respectable age difference, nothing to get outraged over. Certainly he’d never given it a moment’s thought.
“But she rides a motorcycle, is that right? And didn’t she take off on some big road trip recently?”
“She came back. And she’s hardly a biker moll. She’s a mechanic and she’s into restoring old bikes.”
“I see.”
“I thought you’d be happy I was seeing someone.”
“I am. But it’s not like you only have yourself to think about. It’s not enough that you’re attracted to this woman. You have ch
ildren to consider.”
No shit. He rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“I know all this, Mom. The kids already have a relationship with her. And I wouldn’t have gotten them involved if this was just some fling.”
“Well, that’s good to hear. I only hope she feels the same way.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
His mother’s sigh filtered down the line. “You’re asking her to take on an awful lot, stepping into a ready-made family.”
“Hannah knows who we are.”
“And is she ready to become an instant mother to someone else’s children?”
He tipped his head back and reached for patience.
It had all seemed so simple when Hannah had ridden back into his life yesterday. He’d been thinking about her so much, had been kicking himself for letting her go without saying anything, and it had felt right and good to take her to bed. But it hadn’t taken long for reality to intrude.
As his mother said, he wasn’t a man alone. He had two children who depended on him utterly for everything. And they had to come first, no matter what.
“Look, it’s early days. All I know is that she’s great with Ruby and she’s been incredibly patient with Ben.”
“And what happens when the novelty wears off and the going gets tough? Is she going to stick around?”
“She’s not like that, Mom.”
“I’m not saying she’s a bad person, Joe. I’m just saying that you’re asking her to take on a lot. And it’s going to take a special kind of woman, a very generous woman, to do that.”
He stared at the wall. It wasn’t as though he’d never considered the issues his mother was bringing up. But he’d let desire and need override his common sense and caution.
Had that been a mistake?
He flashed to the hot and sweaty hours he’d spent in bed with Hannah the previous morning and the contentment and peace he’d found lying with her in his arms afterward. There hadn’t been a doubt in his mind then. He had to hang on to that feeling, to that belief.
“Hannah is special,” he said.
“I hope you’re right. What do you want to do about Ben? And how is Ruby taking the news?”
“She couldn’t be happier. She told me she’d been wishing for Hannah to be my girlfriend because she thought we were both lonely.”
Despite everything, the memory brought a smile to his mouth. At least one of his kids was happy.
“Hmm. Out of the mouths of babes.”
He decided to ignore the skepticism in his mother’s tone.
“I’ll talk to Ben,” he said.
“Maybe he should come stay with me for a couple of days, let him cool down.”
“No. We’re a family. He can’t opt out when it suits him. We have to work this through.”
“Good to hear.”
“Glad you approve of something,” he said drily.
“Joe…”
“I know. And thanks for the call. I appreciate the heads-up. And the lecture.”
“Anytime,” his mother said, and he knew she was smiling.
They talked a little more before he ended the call. He sat for a moment, going over the conversation again in his mind. Then he pushed himself to his feet and made his way to Ben’s room.
His son was lying on his bed, his iPod plugged into his ears. His eyes flicked toward Joe then away again.
“Could we talk for a minute?” Joe asked.
Ben ignored him. Joe walked to the bed and tugged the earphones from Ben’s ears. “I asked you a question.”
“I didn’t hear you.”
Joe decided to let the lie slide. “I just got off the phone with your grandmother. She told me you wanted to come stay with her.”
“That’s right.”
Joe cocked his head and studied him for a moment.
“Is that really what you want? You don’t want to be here with me and Ruby anymore?”
Ben shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “At least Nan doesn’t lie to me.”
“I’ve explained to you why I felt it was best to hold off on telling you and Ruby what was happening between me and Hannah. You’re old enough to understand that there are different kinds of lies. If you tell a lie to hurt someone, or to cover up something bad, that’s wrong. But what I did was to protect you and your sister.”
Ben simply stared at him, unresponsive. Joe sighed. Clearly there would be no getting through to him tonight.
“Look, all I can say is that I love you kids and you’re my first priority, always. I’m sorry if what I did hurt your feelings. But that doesn’t mean you can milk this forever. You’re not going to your grandmother’s, okay?”
Ben looked as though he was going to say something for a moment, then he shrugged and reached for his earphones again. “You’re the boss.”
He stuck his earphones back in his ears and made a point of focusing on the football poster at the end of his bed.
Not the most satisfactory conversation Joe had ever had, but it would have to do. He couldn’t force his son to feel one way or another. He would simply have to wait him out. Ben had liked Hannah before Joe had started dating her, and Joe was confident his son would come around eventually. It would take time, and patience. He crossed his fingers that Hannah was prepared to ride out the storm with him.
If she runs screaming for the hills, then you’ll have your answer, won’t you?
He told himself it was his mother’s voice he was hearing in his head, advising caution, casting doubts. But the fact remained that most of what his mother had said was true: he was asking Hannah to take on a lot.
TWO WEEKS LATER, HANNAH waited on the front porch of Joe’s house for him to return from dropping the kids at school. He was running a little late and she checked her watch. If she got the job she was interviewing for this afternoon, it would mean the end of their early-morning meetings.
She stared glumly out at the empty street. Well. They would have to find another way to spend time together without further upsetting the delicate balance in his household. So far, Ben had showed no sign of thawing toward her. She’d come over for dinner on the weekend and he’d steadfastly ignored her through the whole meal. On Tuesday night they were all supposed to go to the movies together, but Ben had claimed he had study group at a friend’s place. And last night he’d answered the phone when she’d called and said not a word once he recognized her voice, simply passing the phone to Joe.
She was officially persona non grata where he was concerned, and as much as she told herself he was young and full of grief and entitled to his feelings, she wasn’t immune to his tactics. It was hard to take pleasure in the time she spent with Joe and Ruby when she understood that at the same time she made Ben unhappy. She kept telling herself that it wasn’t personal, that he’d feel this way about any woman Joe was dating, but that argument was wearing thinner and thinner.
She’d been hoping for some sign of a thaw by now. Anything—some eye contact, a mumbled word of greeting. Hell, she’d even take a belch if it sounded friendly enough. But Ben was sticking staunchly to his guns, with no sign of a cease-fire in sight.
The sound of a car engine brought her head up and she smiled as Joe pulled into the driveway.
“Sorry, I got held up with one of Ruby’s teachers,” he said as he exited the car.
He kissed her deeply, his palm curled around the back of her neck. She leaned against his broad chest, savoring the contact. This was the one thing in her world that was absolutely right: being with Joe, holding him, touching him, being touched by him. She’d never had a more considerate or passionate lover.
“You okay?” he asked when he broke the kiss.
“Yeah, of course.”
The concern and warmth in his eyes made her chest hurt. Every time she saw him, he asked her the same question, his first thought for her and how she might be feeling. He already had the world on his shoulders, and yet he was prepared to take on her problems and doubts and fears, as wel
l. He had a generous heart.
“As long as we haven’t scared you off yet.” He said it lightly, but she couldn’t help wondering if he wasn’t also fishing for reassurance. Did he think her feelings were so small and malleable that Ben’s resistance would tip the balance out of his favor?
“I’m hard to scare. I thought you knew that by now.”
And I love you. I’m not going anywhere.
The words formed in her mind and were almost out of her mouth before she caught them.
Well. She hadn’t wasted any time, had she?
She ducked her head, buying a few seconds to pull herself together and deal with her realization. Apparently she hadn’t ridden halfway across the continent only to see what Joe was like in bed. Apparently she’d fallen in love with him, somehow, somewhere. Go figure.
He tilted her chin up and kissed her again, one hand sliding onto her backside. Familiar heat raced through her body. She flashed to the last time they’d made love, the way he’d kissed her all over and made her crazy using only his hands and his mouth. Thinking about it made her feel liquid with longing again.
He made a frustrated noise as he broke their kiss.
“I’ve got an appointment at ten o’clock with my lawyer,” he said.
She checked her watch. It was nine-thirty.
“How long do you need?” she asked, looking up at him from beneath her eyelashes.
She loved how quickly he hustled her inside. She loved how avidly he gazed at her breasts and belly and thighs as he stripped her. She loved the way he savored her, his eyes closed as he teased her breasts with his mouth then kissed his way down her stomach. She loved everything about him, and as he slid inside her she had to bite her lip to stop herself from saying the words out loud.
She had no idea if her feelings were reciprocated, and he had enough on his plate without having to deal with a badly timed declaration from her. She knew he fancied her like crazy, that he loved sex with her. She knew he laughed at her jokes and appreciated it when she challenged him. But he’d been married for fifteen years to a woman he’d loved passionately, and there was every chance he would be slower and more careful before giving his heart away than Hannah was. She figured she’d already shown her hand enough by returning to be with him—there would be other times to let him know how much he meant to her.
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