“Sorry, my man. Fiction,” Jace said with a laugh, though his mind buzzed with possibilities. “Complete fiction with a dash of almost-every-man’s fantasy thrown in.”
Kurt’s shoulders slumped and he sighed. “A downright shame, that’s what that is.”
Chapter Thirteen
Late Saturday afternoon, Melanie tossed her keys in her purse, grabbed the takeout bags of food she’d picked up on the way over and headed into her mother’s house. Slowly but surely, Loretta was emerging from her emotional solitude. Another few weeks, maybe a month, and she should be back to normal.
Melanie hoped so, anyway. Once she felt sure Mom had recovered, they were going to have a long overdue conversation. She needed to understand what drove her mother to enter one doomed relationship after another. More important, she needed Mom to understand why that behavior had to stop. For both of their sakes.
She entered the kitchen just in time to hear Loretta say, “That sounds good, Wade.”
Wade? What in the hell was Mom doing on the telephone with him? Melanie placed the bags on the counter and went to the table, giving her mother a questioning look.
Loretta offered a faint smile in return. “Yes. Tomorrow at three. I’ll see you then.” She ended the call and turned toward Melanie, saying, “I thought we agreed you’d go out with Tara tonight. I really am doing better, sweetie.”
“Tara had a date. Better, Mom? Really?” Disbelief, shock and no small amount of anger flooded Melanie all at once. “Tell me I didn’t hear that you’re meeting Wade tomorrow.”
“You heard correctly. I am meeting him tomorrow,” Mom said evenly. “Why don’t you sit down so we can talk about this.”
“Sit down? No, I am not going to sit down.”
“Melanie Ann,” Mom said, her tone now sharp. “Sit down and we’ll talk about this.”
Fine. She sat down, centered herself by crossing her arms and strove for calmness. “Let me guess. He called to apologize. Probably told you that all the wedding talk sent his fear meter sky-high, but now that’s he had time to chill out, he realizes how much he misses you. He’s probably asked you for a second—no, make that a third—chance. How close am I?”
Her mother’s stunned expression seemed to state that Melanie was right on the money.
“Mom, please. Don’t do this again,” Melanie pleaded. “Don’t believe him. This is obviously a man who doesn’t know what he wants. And…honestly—” She stopped, shook her head. No, this wasn’t the time to get into that.
“First of all, it isn’t what you think.” Loretta closed her eyes for a beat. “I called him, sweetie. I asked him for another chance. Because he deserves it. Wade is truly a good, good man, and I am a fool for… Well, for a lot of things.”
Mom had asked Wade, the guy who dumped her twice, for another chance? And she was calling herself a fool? The same pressure that Melanie always experienced whenever her mother was in a relationship began to build. It crawled into her muscles, tightened them into hard knots and made her stomach churn with acid.
“No,” she whispered, her entire body shaking. “Just no. I can’t do this anymore, Mom. I love you. I always want to be here to support you, but I cannot watch you do this to yourself again. And—”
“It isn’t what you think, Melanie,” Loretta interjected.
“And,” Melanie repeated, her voice growing stronger, “I can’t let you do this to me again. I have turned my life upside down waiting for your relationships to crash and burn. I make sure I have chamomile tea in the house all of the time. I keep your favorite bubble bath on hand. When you’ve been in a relationship for longer than a month, I don’t like to leave the house. Just in case something happens and I’m not there to help you.”
“Oh, dear.” Tears filled Loretta’s eyes. “I had no idea. I mean, yes, I knew to a certain extent that I was putting far too much pressure on you. But… Oh, Melanie, I’m so sorry.”
Melanie shook her head fast, her own tears flowing, unable to stop the words she’d kept bottled up for so long. “I almost lost my job, Mom. Because I was so sure that any woman writing me for advice must be in a crap relationship. Just like every single relationship I’ve seen you go through.”
Loretta’s expression crumpled into devastation. “I’ve done this to you? I never meant… Didn’t see what—”
“And now—” Melanie closed her eyes, thought of Jace and let the tears roll down her cheeks “—now, there is a man who loves me. A man who wants a future with me. A man that I believe is a good, strong, sincere man, and I am too afraid to take the chance. Too afraid to give him my heart after I’ve seen yours crushed so very often.”
“My God, I’ve…I’ve ruined your life,” Loretta said, every syllable soaked with tears. “I am a horrible mother. Darling girl, open your eyes. Look at me.”
“You are not a horrible mother. Not even close. But this…this aspect of our relationship has colored my view on…on men. On love. On what a woman can expect from a man.” Now, Melanie opened her eyes. Seeing Loretta’s agony, she wrapped both of her hands around her mom’s. “You are not a horrible mother,” she repeated. “But this…this has to stop.”
Loretta gave a jerky nod. “Yes. This has to stop. It never should have gone on for this long. I should have seen what my problems, my insecurities were doing to you. I should’ve seen that, Melanie.” She pushed out a breath. “I know that a child taking care of her mother is wrong, but somehow…I let it continue. Even though I knew better. Can you ever forgive me?”
Dropping her hold, Melanie dried her wet cheeks. Then, she did the same for her mother. “I’ve thought a lot about this. Listen to me, Mom,” she said when Loretta shifted her gaze. “I know that what this has become was never your intention. It’s only been us two for so long, with only each other to lean on. We fell into a habit that grew worse over the years, until the routine became set. The longer we stuck to it, the harder it was to pull back from. For both of us.”
“Oh, baby. Look at you trying to share blame that is all mine.” Loretta reached over and stroked Melanie’s hair. “You’re such an incredible woman, Melanie. Loving and giving, and I’m so proud of you. Do you realize that you have never, not even once in your entire life, let me down? And I am so ashamed for disappointing you. For letting you down.”
“It isn’t so much that. It’s… I worry about you.” Melanie shook her head as a bit of her prior frustration returned. “Like now. I walk in here, expecting to have a nice dinner with my mother, and I hear you making a date with the guy who just broke your heart. It hurts me when you hurt. So…can you please not see this dork again? Please?”
Loretta sighed. “Honey, Wade isn’t the bad guy in this situation. It’s me.”
“You’re going to have to explain that,” Melanie said cautiously. “He ended the engagement, correct?”
“Yes. But not until after I broke a promise and not until after he ascertained that I had no intentions on following through with that promise.” Loretta’s thin shoulders lifted in a shrug. “And he was right to do so. You see, I’ve had… Well, I guess the best way to say this is that I’ve had trust issues ever since your father left. I tend to sabotage relationships. Tend to look for trouble where there isn’t any trouble to be found. That’s what happened with Wade.”
“What do you mean?”
Another long sigh. “For this to make sense, I should just start with your father. If that’s okay with you?” At Melanie’s nod, Loretta said, “I loved him so very much, but you know that. You also know, though we haven’t talked about it much, that David and I married because of you. Because you were coming into our lives. But, Melanie, your father never loved me. He liked me well enough, but mostly he did what he thought was his duty.”
Melanie had always assumed that was the case, but this was the first
her mother had ever admitted it. “Okay. A lot of couples get married because a baby is on the way. I…can see how he might feel that way.” And she could, but that didn’t stop the hurt from unfurling inside.
“When you were…oh, five or so, I think, he met another woman.” Loretta’s eyes grew watery again. Melanie hated that, but felt—no, knew—this was a story she needed to hear. “And he fell in love with her the same way I loved him. I didn’t know about her then, of course. David certainly didn’t share that information with me.”
“He cheated on you?” Why that should come as a surprise, Melanie didn’t know. It shouldn’t. Not from a man who later abandoned his family.
“Yes. For two years without my knowledge. I…I’m embarrassed to admit I never even suspected. He didn’t behave any differently, didn’t stop… Well, we continued to share the same bed. And he was still an attentive father. So I was blindsided when the truth came out.”
“How did you find out?”
“The best I can figure is that after two years of sneaking around, the mistress got tired of being a mistress. She gave your father an ultimatum.” Inhaling a deep breath, as if to fortify herself, Loretta continued, “Leave us—both of us, Melanie—or she was going to find someone else to marry.”
Melanie gasped. “How could she expect him to…to leave his child? To leave me?”
Eyes filled with sorrow met hers. Now it was Loretta’s turn to grasp Melanie’s hand. “I don’t know. But David came to me that night, after you were asleep. He wouldn’t look at me the entire time he talked, just told me he was done. That he loved someone else so much, he couldn’t imagine life without her.” Her mother’s voice wavered. “Told me he was leaving. Promised to send money when he could, which he did for the first couple of years. And…he left. The next I heard from him was when I received the divorce papers. In those days… Well, if a man didn’t care much for visitation rights, the state didn’t, either.”
Melanie shook her head, denying her mother’s words even as she spoke them. Processing this was difficult. She went from feeling sorry for the young mother Loretta had been, to feeling sorry for herself, to being angrier than she ever had before.
“Did he mention me?” she asked her mother. “Tell you to tell me he loved me? Asked you to take good care of me? Anything along those lines?”
Loretta averted her gaze. “Well, I’m sure he knew I’d take good care of you. And maybe he assumed I would—’
“Stop.” Bile twisted and turned in Melanie’s stomach. “He didn’t, did he? He was with me for the first seven years of my life. That night, he left my bedroom after reading to me, came to you and ended your marriage, and then walked out the door without even one mention of me, his daughter. That’s correct, isn’t it?”
Loretta’s shoulders straightened. She tipped her chin to look at Melanie with the fierce light of mother’s pride in her eyes. “Your father’s actions were cowardly and stupid. Cowardly because he didn’t have the courage to stay in your life if he wasn’t going to be in mine. Stupid because he lost out on you. And Melanie, if nothing else, that should show you what a stupid, stupid man David Prentiss is.”
“This is why you’ve never told me this story, isn’t it? You didn’t want me to know that my father didn’t love me enough to even ask about me.”
“Partly. Also because I didn’t want you to think I failed you.” Loretta wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand. “Maybe if I had been enough for him, he would’ve stayed.”
“Don’t you do that, Mom. Don’t you put his failings on yourself.”
“I won’t if you won’t,” Loretta replied.
Blinking away the tears that had returned, Melanie nodded. “You have a deal. But now, I…don’t want to talk about him anymore.” Though, she knew she’d put more thought to this later. For now, though, she smiled encouragingly. “Tell me about Wade. How do you keep sabotaging relationships?”
“Just as I said. I look for trouble where there isn’t any. Because of what happened with your father, I only get so far in a relationship before I—” Mom paused, embarrassed, maybe, by what she was about to admit. “I expect problems. I expect a man to lie to me, to cheat on me. Though this hasn’t happened with every man I’ve dated. Some were actually jerks.”
“But Wade?” Melanie prodded. “You said you love him.”
“I do. Very much. When he ended our relationship the first time, it was because I accused him of sleeping with another woman. I was not very pleasant, Melanie. That scared him, the thought of tying himself to someone who couldn’t trust him.” Loretta swallowed. “But he realized how much he loved me, so he called. We talked. And when I promised him I’d get counseling, he proposed.”
“But you didn’t start counseling?” Melanie guessed. “So he ended the engagement.”
“Well, there was a little more to it, but that’s the basics.” Hope glittered in her mother’s voice when she said, “He still loves me, though. So we’re going to talk. And this time, if he gives me another chance, I won’t let him down.”
“I hope he does. I hope you get your happily-ever-after, Mom.” Standing, Melanie went to her mother and hugged her tight. “I love you lots and lots.”
“I love you, too.” They separated. Loretta patted the chair next to her. “Now, I want to talk about this brilliant young man who loves you.”
So Melanie sat down and told her mother about Jace. How he made her feel. How his eyes crinkled when he laughed. How he looked ridiculously good in a pair of jeans. Even how much she adored his family. Mostly, though, she shared the many different ways that he’d shown her his heart, his love.
By the end, when she’d said all that she could say, the fear that she’d carried around with her for most of her life shifted, changed and…floated away. Part of this sensation was due to her greater understanding of her mother and her father. Of all that had occurred.
The bigger part, though, was so much simpler. So simple, she didn’t know why it had taken her so long to grasp on to it. Jace loved her and she loved him. That love was a gift. To let fear—her fear—squander that gift into nothingness would be a massive, unbelievable, unthinkable mistake. So, no, she was not about to let that happen.
She and Jace belonged together. Of that, she was finally sure.
Chapter Fourteen
Early Valentine’s Day morning, Melanie woke with a jittery, excited feeling flowing through her veins. The feeling was similar to waking up on Christmas morning when she was a child. But if everything panned out as Melanie hoped, today would be way better than any Christmas she’d ever celebrated. Way, way, way better.
Before she started on her preparations for the most excellent day ever, she retrieved the file folder on David Prentiss. The one that Jace had given her. She thought again about what her mother had told her. Maybe she could understand, if not like, her father leaving her mother for a woman he loved more. But leaving her, a seven-year-old child, because the woman he loved had demanded it of him was beyond Melanie’s comprehension.
At first, she’d been angry. Now, though, she mostly felt disgust. Mom was right: David Prentiss was a stupid, stupid man, and Melanie didn’t need anything from him. Didn’t need to look at him, confront him or say one word to him. Simply speaking: he didn’t deserve her attention or her time. Not now, not ever.
She tossed the entire file in the garbage. Now she could start her day.
After showering and getting dressed, Melanie laid out the three presents she’d purchased for Jace. On the first present—a teeny-tiny bikini that Melanie had only ever worn once—she attached a card that said: “For yard work.”
On the card for gift number two—an old-fashioned wind-up clock that she’d snapped off the bit of plastic needed to wind it up, she wrote: “For you to fix.” And finally, for the third gift, which was a t
in of brownies, she signed the card with: “For your sweet tooth.”
She wrapped each present separately in bright red wrapping paper and then put all three in a larger box. At that bottom of the larger box, she’d taped one more card. That envelope read “Open last,” but on the inside, she’d put “I’m mad about you, Jace. And I am in your corner. Hopefully, for the rest of my life. Maybe we can talk about that? I’m waiting at home. Love, M.”
That last bit had taken her forever to write. She wanted him to know that she was in this one hundred percent. That she was sure enough of him, of her love for him and his love for her, that she’d marry him today if that were possible. That if he still wanted her, she was his. And maybe she hadn’t come right out and proposed, but Jace was a smart man.
He’d catch on.
She was positive of that, which was why she’d asked Kurt for the day off. The boss had grumbled but had given it to her easily enough. He’d shocked her when he mentioned that Jace wasn’t coming in on Valentine’s Day, either. Then Kurt winked at her and told her to have fun.
Maybe he knew something she didn’t. Perhaps Jace had his own surprise in mind, but if so, Melanie had every intention of beating him to the punch.
Once the larger box was wrapped, she hauled it to the car. Her goal was to drop off the present before Jace woke up. Her thinking was he’d step outside to get his morning paper, see the bright red box, open each of the gifts and then show up at her place. At that point, she quit speculating. Whatever happened then, happened.
Wow. Just the thought sent shivers through her entire body.
After double-checking Jace’s address—he lived in Northwest Portland—she turned on the radio and sang the entire way there. Had she ever been this content, this excited about what might happen, about what her future could look like?
A Match Made by Cupid (Harlequin Special Edition) Page 19
