by Rashad Salim
Sajid and I looked at each other. “It’s okay,” I said. “Just wait in the car. If anything happens, drive off.”
He smirked and went back to his car.
The big man then opened the door to the vehicle and I stepped inside. Tyrone and I were alone in the car.
“Nice ride.”
“Thanks,” he said. “It’s legit, just in case you were wondering.”
I nodded and looked around. I was sure he had weapons stashed in here somewhere. Not that he needed them if he wanted to punish me physically. He was at least twice my size but twice the man? I wondered if Chantelle saw it like that.
“So you boys put a gun to my soldier’s head just for my phone number?”
“What can I say, you weren’t the phone book.”
He laughed at that and began pouring vodka in a glass. He offered me one but I declined.
“Now what was it you wanted to know about Thom that got your knickers in a twist?”
“Why did you have him kill those Lion Crew Carl and Marcus?”
“I didn’t,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “I didn’t even know about it until the cops said it.”
“I heard he did it to get into your good books.”
“My good books?” he smiled.
“For a proper membership to your crew. Had to prove himself to you, didn’t he?”
“He was never gonna be one of my boys. I liked him but I didn’t think he had any balls ...to do what has to be done. He just wasn’t dependable and...” He stared into the middle distance. Either he was trying to remember something or trying to make something up.
“...And what?”
He was deep in thought. “I dunno. Something about him was always off. I can’t describe it.”
“Was he a user?” I never thought Thom could’ve been involved in drugs but nothing surprised me anymore.
“Nah, it weren’t that. I don’t know what it was about him. He just had a delicate way about him. More than the other boys his age.”
I remembered Chantelle downplaying his gangster credibility. Maybe he was too nerdy for gangs.
“Anyway,” he met my eyes again, “the bottom line is he wasn’t street enough, if you get what I’m saying.”
“What about the gun he used?” I asked. “Did you give it to him?”
He snorted. “I wouldn’t even give him a water pistol.”
“He must’ve got it from one of your boys then. So one of them must know why he did it.
“I already put the word out asking about that,” he said. “Turns out nobody knew he even had it.”
“Right,” I said, feeling like he was brushing off my entire line of enquiry. “Let me ask you something. How well do you know his sister?”
“Thom introduced us,” he said. “We were getting to know each other until all this shit happened.” He grinned. “...Why? How well do you know her?”
I studied him wondering if he already knew all the background information about me and Chantelle.
“We knew each other from back in the day,” I said. “Anyway, I better be off now.”
I got up from my seat and opened the door to get out. “There’s just one more thing,” I said.
“Yeah?”
“When was the last time you spoke to Thom?”
He frowned. “Why?”
“He was missing for a whole day and half before his body was found last night.”
Tyrone put his drink down and pointed his finger at me. “I want you to listen to me carefully, son. I hadn’t heard from him in days before... before he was found. Neither had anyone else. I don’t know what got into his head gunning down those Lion Crew. That wasn’t our style.” He shook his head. “I thought he knew that shit. And now,” he jabbed a finger against his chest, “it’s put us under the fucking magnifying glass and everyone from the cops and nosey cunts like you have been on my case. I wish Thom was still alive, okay? I’d have done anything to stop him if I knew what he was planning. Got it?”
I nodded.
He had really got himself worked up over Thom. It was the first time he had lost his cool in my presence and whether or not he was telling the truth, it showed me he was worried. If he was this worried about attracting attention from the authorities then maybe he really didn’t have anything to do with Thom’s murders or suicide.
“Good.” He breathed a sigh.
I got out of the car and shut the door. Tyrone had got out of the car from the other side and walked around until he stood beside me.
“Does that answer all your questions?”
I looked at him warily. “For now.”
“Right then,” he said, he extended his hand for me to shake. He clasped his hand around mine and held it tight. “Now I never ever wanna see you or your fucking nutcase mate set foot in my manor again, okay?”
That was when I heard the popping sounds from a distance getting louder with each one. It wasn’t until Tyrone pulled me with him to the ground that I realised we were being shot at.
41
I heard a woman scream and then the squeal of tyres and a vehicle zooming off. When I looked in its direction I saw a blue sedan car speeding away. I couldn’t tell what model car it was let alone any of the numbers on the rear number plate.
Tyrone and I looked at each other. We were down on the ground and I was sandwiched between his body and the underside of his vehicle.
“You hit?” he asked.
It took a moment for it to sink in what he was asking me because I was still dazed.
“...No. You?”
He shook his head.
One of his henchmen crawled towards us, careful to stay as low to the ground as possible.
“Who was it?” Tyrone asked his man, who told him he didn’t get a good look.
Sajid came running across the street from his car while people from inside the house party began coming out to see what was going on.
“You okay?” he asked me.
I nodded and got to my feet. Tyrone and his henchman stood too.
“Thanks,” I said to Tyrone.
Both of us looked at the Land Cruiser at the same time.
I gasped.
There were two bullet holes across the side of his vehicle.
“...Don’t mention it,” he said. “Now get out of here.”
I nodded. “Come on,” I told Sajid and we ran back towards his car while various people began approaching Tyrone.
We got inside the car and when the doors were shut we looked at each other in shock at what had just happened.
“Fucking hell, bruv,” was all I could manage.
“He saved your life, ya know?”
I nodded. I thought of the bullet holes and was reminded of Thom.
He started up the engine and we drove off in silence. We were a few blocks away before I had managed to catch my breath.
“Did you see who shot at him?” I asked.
He shook his head. “It was too dark. By the time I looked to see where the gunshots were coming from all I saw was a car speed off. Might have been a Rover or some shit, I ain’t sure.”
“Fuck, man.”
“I know. Just tell me he told you something worth being shot at,” he said. “Good thing these niggers can’t shoot for shit. Fuck knows if you would still be alive if that weren’t the case.”
I wondered what he meant. “I thought you said you didn’t see who shot at us?”
“I didn’t.”
“How come you knew they were black then?” I didn’t have time to challenge him about his casual racism. I was trying to put the pieces together but my brain was on fire.
“I don’t ...but I don’t need to be a genius to know there’s a good chance it was other gangbangers. A scumbag like that, he probably has half the criminals in East London after him.”
“Like the Lion Crew?”
That jolted Sajid and he glanced at me like that had to be it. “Well, now that you mention it...”
We drove for
another minute in silence until I realised we were going the wrong way to Binford train station.
“Yo, where we going? The station’s the other way.”
“We ain’t going to the station,” he said and then looked at me. “I’m taking you back to West London myself.”
“Nah, man. It’s gonna take you-”
“I’m taking you home, bre,” he said. “And forget about all this. This shit’s gone way out of control.”
I was surprised by his concern. He hadn’t expressed it so bluntly before. He was right too. The situation since the arson had gotten so badly out of control we didn’t know what the hell was going on and probably never would after what happened with Thom.
Watching Sajid point his gun at a gang and threaten to shoot them was one thing. Getting shot at by some faceless gangsters was another.
We drove in silence for the rest of the way. Sajid had the radio on but it didn’t ease the tension at all. There was a lot more to be said before the night was over and I had a feeling it wasn’t going to get any easier.
When we reached the area where I lived, I gave Sajid directions to my flat. Sajid parked the car outside and killed the engine. It was past midnight.
“So this is it, eh?” he said, studying the exterior of my flat. “Looks like a quiet area too... so much for Binford, eh?” he said with a laugh.
“You wanna come in? Let me show you the place.”
He raised his hand to stop me. “I can’t. I gotta get back now.”
I didn’t try to convince him to stay.
“It’s Ealing, right?” he said. “That’s where you’re working now, ain’t it?”
“Yeah.”
“Good,” he said. “...That’s good, bre. Can I give you some advice?”
I looked at him and waited.
“Forget about what happened, okay?” he said.
“Okay.”
“I mean the whole day. None of it happened. Not the shit at the estate or the shooting outside the party.”
“What if someone asks?” I said.
“No one’s gonna ask and if they do, you don’t know anything. You weren’t there.”
I nodded.
“You got a cushy new job to look forward to and it’s time you left all this gang warfare bullshit behind. Carl and Marcus are dead and fuck them, okay? They got what they deserved.”
“What about Thom?”
“What about him?” he asked. “Forget him too.”
I said nothing.
“You need to make a deal with me about that,” he said and punched me lightly on the shoulder. “I’m serious.”
“Why?”
“‘Cos if you don’t you’re gonna be one dead Paki, the way you’re going. That’s why.”
I looked down at my lap and said nothing.
“You need to forget about Chantelle too.”
I looked up but didn’t face him. I didn’t want to discuss her with him and I wasn’t prepared to meet these demands he was making about her.
“...Thom, Chantelle, all of it. I know you think you’re supposed to fix all her problems but they ain’t yours to fix. She’s not your woman, Ali.”
“What about-”
“What nothing!” he said, wagging his finger. “She’s never gonna be your girl again. You think she still might be? After her brother’s just killed himself?”
The harsh truth again.
“Alright.”
“Besides, if she wanted to talk to you she would’ve answered her phone by now.”
The thought hurt my feelings worse than anything else. That she had had enough of me despite all my efforts and what we had shared recently.
“I’m sorry, bre,” he said. “But it’s time to get on with your life while you still got one.”
I nodded. I felt so foolish for putting my life at risk and still not knowing any more about the circumstances of Thom’s death than I did the day before.
We shook hands and I got out of the car. He drove off as I walked to my flat feeling everything I had done had all been for nothing.
42
I was surprised to have slept through most of the night and into the afternoon quite easily despite having been shot at by gangsters.
When I woke up it occurred to me that Tyrone now and that he might have phoned me after we were shot at but I still hadn’t received any calls or text messages from anyone.
I spent most of the afternoon walking around Shepherd’s Bush, enjoying my last day off before my first day back to work. I had managed to avoid thinking about all the chaos back in Binford for the most part.
When I did check the news there was still a massive outcry in the press about teen gangs, knife crime and rioting. The local MP of Binford had done his best to reassure the community that the recent acts of vandalism by gangs was being tackled. There was the same theory as usual being circulated about Thom – about how he had murdered Carl and Marcus on behalf of the Binford Boyz but had panicked and killed himself to avoid capture by police. I left it at that and went out window shopping.
It was about six o’ clock in the evening when my phone rang. I was sitting on my armchair, sipping orange juice and not really in the mood for conversation. I looked down at the caller ID on the fifth ring.
It was Chantelle.
I hadn’t bothered calling her again after Sajid dropped me off the night before. I had been concerned with her wellbeing and wanted to be considerate because of her family tragedy but being ignored had made me angry with her and I found myself not wanting to pick up the phone out of bitterness.
I answered her call anyway.
“Ali,” she said.
“You okay, babe?” I asked, careful to gauge her tone. “I’ve been trying to reach you for ages.”
“I know, sorry,” she said. “I couldn’t talk. I had too much to do.”
“I’m really sorry about Thom,” I said. “I don’t know what to say.”
“I know, it’s okay.” Her voice was calm and steady.
“Where are you?” I asked. “Are you alone?”
“I’m at my auntie Jolene’s.”
“That’s good,” I said. “You can’t be alone at a time like this.”
She was silent.
“I saw it on the news, about Carl and Marcus,” I said. “I had no idea at the time. If only I had known what he was going to do, I’d have done everything to stop him.”
“He wouldn’t have killed himself.”
That caught me by surprise. “...Chantelle, he must’ve been under a lot of pressure-”
“He still wouldn’t have.”
“You don’t think he was murdered, do you?” I asked, instantly regretting it. It wouldn’t have surprised me if she hung up one right then. “The police did their tests to prove the cause of death.”
“I know.”
“Look, we don’t know what was going through his mind,” I said. “I don’t think anybody thought he had it in him to kill Carl and Marcus.”
“My brother was not a killer.”
I didn’t know what to say to her. The girl was in deep denial.
“What about the evidence?” It dawned on me that she was probably still under shock and it had been stupid of me to even discuss her brother’s crimes and suicide. I had let my curiosity get the better of me once again and it had to take a back seat for now.
She was silent.
“Babe, did you need something? Just let me know. I want you to know I’m here for you.”
Sajid appeared in my mind and I recalled the vow I had made to him – that I would stay away from her.
“Thom was framed and I need your help to prove it tonight,” she said.
That caught me completely off guard.
“Babe, I know this is hard-”
“You gonna help me or not?” she asked.
“Babe...”
“...is that a yes or a no?”
Sajid appeared in my mind again.
I was flustered for an answer that w
ouldn’t piss her off but at the same time I didn’t want to get carried away investigating crimes I had no reason to get involved with.
“...Wouldn’t be the first time you abandoned me when I needed you,” she said.
Her words made my blood run cold. I knew exactly what she was referring to and no amount of burying it in the past would keep it there now.
I literally ran away from Chantelle a few months after the race riot at school.
We rarely saw each other outside of school as it was and during the run up to the GCSE exams, I was too busy trying to prepare for them to spend time with her.
During this difficult time our relationship had become strained, just as Mr Hardy and others had predicted. We spent more time communicating over the phone and it helped hide the fear I had of our future together but Chantelle wasn’t blind. She knew I had severe doubts.
I had to face facts – our relationship was doomed and I believed no amount of effort on either of our parts would overcome the riot scandal.
I still loved Chantelle but after the school riot I knew there was no going back to the way things were before. Too much had happened. Too much had changed. Lines had been drawn and we were on opposite sides. Her friends had pressed her to condemn Sajid’s actions and mine. Jermaine made sure everyone knew I was to blame for what happened with Elroy being stabbed despite the fact that he had been stabbed with his own knife.
Whenever Chantelle asked me if I wanted to end our relationship I changed the subject. Once our exams were done with and school was over forever I knew I couldn’t stall making a decision any longer. Either we stayed together through college or broke up.
In the end I agreed to her request that we meet up and talk it over in person.
But there was no meeting.
My parents had decided I was to move away from Binford after the riot but I kept this information to myself. No one else knew.
I changed my phone number, shutdown all my social media accounts and moved out of Binford the day before my meeting with Chantelle – all without telling her.
It wasn’t a sudden decision. I had given it a lot of thought between the riot and my vanishing. I dwelled on it for hours on end and suffered many sleepless nights.
