Brett shook his finger in mock warning at the conspirators in the kitchen. "No more whispering."
"Whatever you say, Boss," Ashley whispered.
"Can you hand me that head of lettuce?" Jennifer whispered to Ashley.
"Yeah. Here you go," Ashley whispered back.
Caleb whispered something to Rauly. Rauly scurried over to Sam and whispered something to him. Sam nodded and laughed. It was all Jennifer could do to keep a straight face.
"Knock it off," Brett glared. "So is this a guy or a girl?" Brett leaned close to Ashley.
"Guy."
"You want me to kick his ass?"
"Would you really do that for me?" Ashley looked up at him and batted her eyes.
"Stop that," Brett ordered. "And yes. Maybe. Is he a big guy? Could I take him?"
Ashley laughed and went back to slicing lettuce.
"You're not going to tell me are you?" Brett looked around at the avoiding faces in the kitchen. "And everybody knows who it is but me, huh?" he accused. "This is mutiny!" he declared and marched out of the kitchen.
"I should kick your ass for that," Ashley fumed.
"I'm sorry." Jennifer said. "I was just trying to have some fun and get even with him for eavesdropping. You think he learned his lesson?"
"Probably not," Ashley snickered. "So who's breaking your heart at the moment? Let's get even with them."
"It's not the same," Jennifer sighed. "I just totally have the hots for some guy that I don't want to have the hots for."
"Why not?"
"Different ideologies."
"It's Nick isn't it?" Ashley smiled coyly.
"Is it that obvious?" Jennifer grimaced.
"No." Ashley was obviously lying.
"Crap."
"Do you really want to know what I think?"
Jennifer nodded.
"I think you're being an idiot."
Not the answer she'd been expecting. "Excuse me?"
"Everybody's got flaws," Ashley elaborated. "I've been careless with people's hearts, that's a flaw. Brett can be a little oblivious to the obvious, a flaw. Rauly is short. Caleb's a Republican, Sam's old, Jamie's controlling, her boyfriends are all cheaters, Erin succumbs to peer pressure, Marcus is — well, let's not even go there — and Nick believes in aliens. So what's one of your flaws?"
"I have no idea who I am," she said after a moment.
"And now you're making decisions from that place."
"Everyone's against me!" Brett declared as he dramatically swung the kitchen door open.
Ashley suppressed a smile.
"Are you sure being overly dramatic isn't one of Brett's flaws?" Jennifer said quietly.
Brett glared at them as he past by on his way back to his office. "I'm watching you," he mouthed.
"Actually I find it kind of endearing," Ashley mused in hushed tones.
Chapter 14
What The Heart Wants
Weeks passed and Nick hadn't come in, at least not when she had been there.
"Where's Nick at these days?" she asked Paul.
"Working," Paul had said. "And traveling. For work." He wasn't much help beyond that.
"Not that you care, but Nick is doing some very important work for the Ange right now." Marcus sneered.
"Well, if you see him, tell him I said Hi," she said mostly to Paul.
"I see him all the time." Marcus said. "I'm not sure why I'd want to pass that along though."
Common decency? She was thinking, but it wasn't worth it. "Yeah. I can see that in you," Jennifer smiled at him.
Maybe this was for the best, she considered. If she could just get past the longing to see him then maybe she'd be free of the irrational hold he had over her.
It was July twentieth, Jenny Taylor's birthday. Now Jenny was twenty too, she mused. She couldn't help but wonder how old she really was. Not that it really mattered. It was just a number after all.
Jennifer had the day off. It was the first one she'd had in two weeks. She slipped into a pair of white capris Emily had given her, and a blue baby-doll top that brought out the color of her eyes. She finished the look with sandals and sunglasses.
Her first stop was a hair salon with a sign out front that read: Walk-Ins Welcome. She got her hair cut and her dye job updated. She'd done okay adding streaks of color with the nine-dollar box of hair dye, but it looked so much better when a professional did it. Her new style had so many different shades of browns and reds in it now. And just for fun, a streak of blue to match her eyes.
After that she rode the trolley into the financial district to deposit her paycheck. Her tummy had begun to hint at the idea of food and so she decided to stop in at a little café near her bank. Attila's Café. It had a sort of Asian warrior theme to it, but with flowers and salt and pepper shakers. This must have been the softer side of Attila the Hun.
She'd never been there before but there was something about the place, some sort of pull, something strangely familiar she couldn't quite define... and then she saw him. His back was toward her, but there was no denying her body's reaction. Her imagination ran her fingers through his dark locks and he smiled up at her, she bent down and kissed his forehead, his cheek, his lips, his neck.
In reality, Nick reached up and combed his fingers through his hair.
She smiled at the coincidence and propped her sunglasses atop her head.
"Just one?" asked a squat woman with a round face. Her name-tag read: Kerri.
"I'm surprising a friend," Jennifer said quietly.
Kerri nodded. "I'll be with you in a jiff."
He was sitting in the far back booth. The only thing beyond him was a hallway leading to the restrooms and kitchen. He was reading through a typed document in a black folder.
"So it is that you've found another place." She smiled her accusation as she slid into the seat opposite him.
His reaction was a strange mix of shock and alarm She'd expected that, but then—
"What are you doing here?" he said with a less than subtle hint of accusation. He closed the folder and placed it on the seat next to him.
She hadn't expected confrontation. She felt misplaced suddenly, out of sorts.
"I'm sorry," she stood. "I was in the area, got hungry, and thought I recognized a familiar... head," she said. "I didn't mean to — I'm sorry — I'm obviously intruding."
The room felt like it was collapsing in around her, she made a start for the door but he stood and grabbed her by the arm, stopping her. "Jen, wait."
She pulled her arm free from his grip, and spun to face him. "I'm leaving now," she said assuredly.
"Please don't," he pleaded. "I didn't mean to..." his voice trailed. "Are you crying?"
Damn it. She brushed her hand across her cheek. Of course she was crying. It was all she ever did nowadays.
"I'm sorry. I just haven't seen you in a while," she said quietly.
"You're crying because you haven't seen me in a while?" he said with a hint of incredulity. "I didn't think you even liked me that much."
Was he kidding? She met his eyes. "I—" She had no words. At least, none she could force herself to say.
She reached her hand up and moved her fingers through his soft, dark hair. She shifted close to him and gently kissed him. His lips were soft, his arms inviting. His hand went to her cheek, his tongue met hers, causing the teams of butterflies within her to fly into a full-fledged frenzy. She took a step back from him, and then another. "I— I'm sorry," she said. "I just wanted you to know." She didn't wait for a response. She simply turned and fled.
What in the name of all that is good had just happened!?
She rounded the corner at the end of the street and stopped. She needed to catch her breath. Not because she had been running, but because she was overwhelmed and confused by what had just taken place. It didn't make any sense.
She had become accustomed to the pattern of fantasy and then an abrupt return to reality, but it wasn't happening this time. This time it had
been the real thing.
She had kissed him.
It was even better than she had imagined it would be. She could die happy now with the exquisite memory of his touch, and his kiss, if she weren't so freaking miserable.
She had kissed him.
And he had kissed her back.
And then she had apologized for it and ran away.
Why was she always apologizing to him when he was the one behaving badly? She was behaving like such a child and she hated herself for it. She set herself back against the tall grey building and stared at the emblem of a jewel-encrusted crown on the building across from her. It reminded her of a lyric from a song she couldn't quite recall. She punched the wall behind her with her fists, wishing that she could melt into the walls.
Stupid Jennifer.
Stupid good looking — great kissing — utterly irresistible, Nick.
And then—
He was there. Standing in front of her, tall, strong and gorgeous, with a backpack slung over his shoulder. "I'm glad I caught you," he said, stepping close to her. "There's something I've been wanting to say to you too." He leaned in close to her.
She met his eyes, if only for a second, because in the next he was kissing her. He put his hand around her waist and pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around him and eagerly kissed him back, reveling in the feel of his body against hers, and wanting more.
He stopped kissing her but remained close. "I'm sorry," he said. "Can we just pretend that what I really said was, 'Hello Beautiful, will you join me for lunch?'"
She stared back into his beautiful jewels. She could feel the futility of trying to resist him, but more importantly, she didn't want to. She nodded.
He smiled and slipped his fingers around a strand of blue hair. "I like your hair," he said. He slid his hand down her arm and laced his fingers around hers. Then they walked back to Attila's Café where Nick treated her to lunch.
The specialty at Attila's was seemingly average meal items covered in an egg roll shell and deep-fried. Gross or just weird, she couldn't decide.
Nick ordered Attila's Club, which had the same ingredients as a club sandwich and Jennifer had the Cheeseburger Roll, without mayonnaise.
"So what happened to Riley?" he asked.
"Wow. I'm surprised you remembered his name. Uh..." He wasn't you, was all she could think to say but really didn't want to, so instead she shrugged and took a sip of her iced tea to stall for time. "Not for me."
Nick smiled.
She changed the subject. "Paul says you've been busy with work, and traveling."
"Yeah," Nick answered. "I wasn't even here for the Forth, I missed all the fireworks."
"Me too," she frowned. "I was here, I just slept through them. It was a very long day." She retrieved the lemon wedge floating in her iced tea and gave it a gentle squeeze into her drink. Then bit into it, to get the rest of juice then rubbed the juice that got on her fingers into her hands.
"You like lemons." It was almost a question.
"I do."
He smiled, and then squeezed his own lemon wedge into his drink.
The all-too-familiar silence swirled up between them.
"You know, I don't even know what you do for a living," she said after a moment.
"Uh..." he rubbed the side of his finger against his chin. "I work for the Ange."
"Oh?" Jennifer said after she was pretty sure he wasn't planning on elaborating.
"C'mon Jen, I know you're not a fan."
Ouch. "I can't say that I know enough about it to have my own opinion."
The squat waitress, Kerri, brought them their food.
"Thank you," Jennifer smiled at her.
"I'm a researcher. Historical mostly, but other stuff as well. Whatever they need me to do." He took a bite of his egg roll club sandwich amalgamation.
Jennifer opted to go for the peel and sample technique, just in case.
"Secret stuff?" she taunted.
"Sometimes."
"Can I ask you something?" She popped a bit of tomato into her mouth.
"You can always ask," he said. "But I can't always promise an answer."
"Why do you always call me Jen? No one else does. I don't introduce myself that way."
"Huh." Nick wiped his hands and mouth on his napkin, considering. "I don't know," he said after a bit. "It just sort of suits you better. Would you prefer that I call you Jennifer?"
"No. I was just curious."
Jennifer returned to peeling her hamburger free from its egg roll shell. She wished she'd thought to ask for some silverware, or that Attila's had had the insight to just include them with their meals, but as long as her fingers were clean and there were plenty of napkins — which there were — she'd manage.
The quiet lack of conversations settled itself between them. She sighed at the silence.
"What does that look mean?" Nick asked.
"What look?"
"It's the look you get whenever there's a lull in the conversation."
"Oh, that's easy," Jennifer took a sip of her drink. "It means: great, another awkward conversation lull."
Nick smiled. "Awkward huh? Okay. What about that look you get when I ask you about yourself, the one that kind of looks like panic?" His smile broadened, as if he were joking.
"It's panic."
"Why?"
"I've got my secrets too."
"I guess that's fair. But my secrets are a matter of security clearance. What's your excuse?"
"Same," she replied, "Eew. Warm pickles." She opted not to eat the pickles she'd just uncovered and moved them to the side of her plate instead.
Nick laughed.
She loved his laugh.
The butterflies were restless once again. She met his eyes, unafraid of the effect this time. Wanting it even. She was lying naked, in his arms—
"What's that look?" he asked, pulling her back from her reverie. "It's almost like you're remembering something."
"Close enough," she blushed. "Just a passing thought."
"Was it a good thought?" he asked deviously.
"It was," she tried to suppress her smile.
"So I'm guessing it wasn't about warm pickles."
"No," she laughed.
While they ate, Nick told her the story of how he had first discovered Attila's and how their first time eating there had basically been a dare from Paul.
"Do you have to get back to work?" she asked after lunch.
"I kind of set my own hours. You want to go somewhere?"
"Yeah," she smiled.
They walked to Nick's car that was parked in a garage about a block and a half away. She was actually kind of surprised to learn he owned a car, he was always either walking or in one of the cars Paul was driving. Nick's car was a lot newer than she'd expected it to be, or at least newer looking, and cleaner; he took good care of it. She had no idea what kind of car it was — but then she'd never been good with cars. It was a two-door hatchback, small and black, kind of sporty looking, and beyond that what did she need to know?
He drove them to Golden Gate Park. She'd never been. But then again, there were lots of places she'd never been. It was much easier to count the places she had been than the places she hadn't.
The Taylors took family vacations once a year, typically camping but they never went out of state. She'd been to Mount Rushmore half a dozen times, there were the occasional excursions to Pierre, the summer she spent in Sioux Falls with her aunt — err, Nancy's sister, and the senior trip to Disneyland, and that was about it. Except that... her current birth certificate said she was born in Colorado, her prior one had said South Dakota. They were both phony so she had her doubts that there was any truth to either of them. She could have been born anywhere. Maybe even New York – where the post card had come from.
So if she thought about it, she might also have been in New York. But from what she could remember of her life, she really hadn't been anywhere.
Winner was such a small town,
and she'd practically lived her entire life within its tiny borders — which she was sure could fit inside of Golden Gate Park. As she listened to Nick talk about growing up in San Francisco and all the places he'd traveled to, first with his family and then with his work, she began to feel very isolated in her tiny little world.
Even now, she spent the majority of her days within just a small area of the city, mostly between home and work. She'd ventured a little in her daily runs, but never more than about ten blocks from home. The exception was her bank trips, and that was in large part thanks to Riley working in the area. She remembered how Sioux Falls had felt like such a big city when she'd stayed there, but not so much anymore, not when compared to San Francisco.
"I envy you," she told him after he finished telling her about a recent trip to Italy.
"Envy?" he questioned. "I was only hoping to impress you a little bit."
"I've never been anywhere. You've seen the world."
"A bit of it," he reasoned. "Not all. I bet there are places you've been that I haven't."
"I haven't been anywhere."
"There must be lot of places in Colorado that you've been to, that I haven't. I've only ever been to Denver."
She wondered if it counted that she'd been to Denver if her entire stay there was in an airplane, and she had been asleep for most of it. "I've been to Mount Rushmore."
"There you go. I've never been. In fact I'm not even sure if I know where Mount Rushmore is exactly. It's in the Midwest right? Iowa?"
"South Dakota."
"I've never been there either," he smiled. "Tell me about it."
"There's not much to tell," she shrugged. "It's a big mountain, with faces carved into it."
They walked. The quiet swelled between them again but this time she didn't mind so much. Not that she was a huge fan of the quiet but it felt good just being with him, plus there was the added benefit of not having to talk about herself.
She hadn't even noticed that they had looped back around but there they were, in front of his car. "I'll take you home," he said. He unlocked the passenger door and opened it for her.
Something was wrong. Something had changed.
"Okay," she wanted to say something more, she felt like she should say more, but nothing was coming to her.
The Aeon Star Page 11
