by Lisa Jordan
Alec ignored her call, flung the door open and let it slam behind him without even turning around.
What in the world had gotten into him?
She couldn’t exactly chase after him. She had a responsibility to the teens, especially with that same charred-egg smell she’d come to recognize filtering through the air. With a shrug and an eye roll, she sauntered into the kitchen as if she didn’t care about Alec’s actions. But her insides swirled like those beaten eggs. What had caused him to bolt? Was it something she’d said?
* * *
Alec pushed through the community center door and gulped large mouthfuls of air. He grasped the metal railing with a trembling hand and forced his shallow breathing to stabilize. A gust of wind pummeled his face, cooling the sweat on his brow and upper lip.
What was he doing? He must’ve been out of his mind to agree to help Sarah with this program. He couldn’t work with kids. He should’ve just texted her and canceled for today, promising to make it up to her. But, no, Mr. Man-of-his-Word showed up and then hightailed it out of there faster than his sister being chased by a snake.
He was such an idiot.
What kind of guy let a group of teenagers get under his skin? They were a bunch of kids. Harmless, right? He’d thought the same thing about Justin, too.
But that didn’t make it right to walk out on Sarah, especially since she’s been putting in time every day since their agreement at his uncle’s house, making a dent in the mess. She did have great organizational skills. And now he wasn’t living up to his end of the bargain.
He sat on the steps and buried his face in his hands. This day couldn’t end fast enough.
After the housing deal he’d been working on fell through and the irate owners and their screaming toddler caused him to show up late at the community center, he knew he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to spend the next two hours in the kitchen.
Apparently Sarah had everything under control anyway. No smoke alarms had gone off, and the kitchen still appeared intact. She didn’t need him. And he didn’t need to spend the next hour calming down from the panic attack that threatened to squeeze the breath from his chest. Yet here he was.
Behind him, the community center door opened.
“Alec.”
He glanced over his shoulder at Sarah standing a few steps behind him, then dropped his gaze to focus on the intricate pattern stamped into the concrete steps.
He wasn’t in the mood for a lecture, and he was sure she was ready to blast him about walking out on her.
She laid a hand on his shoulder. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He pushed out a ragged breath.
“Was it something I said? Or did?”
He hated the hesitancy in her voice...and knowing he was the cause of it.
“No, it’s nothing you did. I just...” How could he explain himself to her when even he wasn’t quite sure what had him running for the door? What else could he say? A bunch of teenagers turned him into a first-class wuss? Grown men shouldn’t be having panic attacks.
Alec fixated on a daisy growing in the crack in the sidewalk. Despite the hard circumstances and daily foot traffic, the flower thrived in the sunshine. It reminded him of Sarah. She deserved some sort of explanation.
“Four years ago, I worked for the fire department. We volunteered in our off-hours as mentors to at-risk kids in the community.”
“That’s a noble thing to do.”
“No more than what you’re doing.” And he meant it. Anyone who could do her job deserved a prize.
“What happened?” She sat on the step next to him, close enough for him to smell her shampoo. The edge of her pink skirt brushed the tops of her knees.
“Shouldn’t you be inside?” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder toward the door. Why had he begun this conversation?
“Mindy’s in there. Plus, Pastor Nate walked over from the church and they’re holding down the fort for a few minutes.”
Great. He hadn’t seen the volunteers in the kitchen. Someone else to witness his freak-out.
“What happened with the program?” The soft, questioning tone of her voice frayed the already ragged edges of his nerves.
He shrugged. “Nothing. As far as I know, they’re still doing it.”
“What changed, then?”
“A kid named Justin. His dad was an alcoholic—a mean drunk at that. Justin and I bonded over music, and I was teaching him how to play guitar. Things seemed to be going well until he came to me with a black eye. I had to report it.”
“Of course. His safety was your first priority.”
“One would think. Somehow he found out I gave the anonymous tip about the same time his mom, desperate to escape her abusive husband, set their house on fire while Justin’s dad was passed out inside.”
“Oh, no!”
“We arrived on the scene in time to put the fire out. Justin’s dad ended up in the ICU, and his mom was arrested. Justin blamed me. I tried to get him to calm down and promised him everything would be okay. Biggest mistake of my life.” Alec rubbed a finger and thumb over his eyes. “He and his brother were put in emergency foster care. He promised I’d pay for destroying his family.”
“What happened?”
“We were on scene at another incident when a call came in for a residential fire. 731 Meadowbrook Drive.”
“You remember the address?”
“Yes. I’ll never forget it. It was my house.” He struggled to breathe, the memory still as fresh as when it happened four years ago. “Where I lived with my pregnant wife of almost two years.”
Sarah sucked in a sharp breath.
“The fire consumed our house quickly. I tried to save her.” Unbidden tears pricked his eyes. “The fire. It was too hot. I did everything I could. But...” His chest tightened. “I lost everything that night because I got involved in a troubled kid’s life, hoping to make a difference. I can’t afford to make the same mistake twice.”
Sarah stood, her expression torn. “Alec, I had no idea. Why did you even agree to working with me?”
“I don’t know. I needed help with Emmett’s house. If I did this for you, then I could use your assistance without feeling guilty about it. Plus...” He shrugged. “I thought maybe enough time had passed to where I could handle it again. When I walked into that kitchen...”
“It came rushing back?”
“Something like that.”
“Have you talked to anyone?”
“Like who? About what?”
“Like someone who specializes in PTSD.”
“You think I have post-traumatic stress disorder?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. Maybe. Panic attacks. Lack of sleep. A couple of common signs.”
“I’m fine.”
“Okay, then, if you’re fine, let’s head back inside.”
Alec hesitated. He was fine. Other than the nightmares that jerked him away from time to time, and the scent of smoke that made him want to crawl out of his skin, he was golden.
But to go back inside?
The group assembled in the kitchen, focused on breaking eggs, looked like a bunch of regular kids, not disturbed pyromaniacs out for revenge. But how could Sarah look at them and see promise? All he saw was potential destruction. Was there really any hope in helping them?
Justin could’ve been any one of those kids. He’d shown promise, needing someone to believe in him. Someone to help him see he could do great things. Alec had tried, and it cost him everything.
How could he risk that again?
But then again, he had nothing left to lose.
A slight throat clearing jerked him out of his thoughts. He blinked a couple of times and caught Sarah’s pointed look and raised eyebrow. She stood over him an
d extended a hand to help him to stand.
If only it were that simple.
Something Billy, his brother-in-law, had asked prodded at his brain... Would Christy want to see him living this way?
He was left with one giant choice—face his fears or let a bunch of kids send him running for the door. Neither option sounded appealing, but he couldn’t continue down the path he’d been walking.
He put his hand in Sarah’s and forced his legs to move. Steeling his spine and squaring his shoulders, he spoke with more bravado than he felt. “Let’s do this.”
Hopefully history wouldn’t repeat itself.
Chapter Five
Well, he’d managed to last the week without falling apart or hurting anyone. He deserved a medal or something, didn’t he? Or at least a quiet weekend without answering anyone’s demands. Other than a house showing first thing in the morning, he had the rest of the weekend to himself.
Putting up a tough front was draining.
From out on the community center’s front steps, Sarah’s laughter swirled through the open door and tugged at his heart. She did a fist bump with one of Amber’s little brothers. She definitely had a way with these kids. They respected her, which had made the week a bit more bearable. He admired that, yet a sense of caution continued to stay at the forefront of his mind. He wasn’t about to let his guard down.
“Yo, Mr. S. You got a minute?” A hesitant voice spoke behind him.
Alec turned away from watching Sarah to find Daniel standing in the community center kitchen doorway. With neatly trimmed blond hair, a shoulder pressed to the doorjamb and a thumb hooked through the belt loop of his baggy cargo shorts, the kid didn’t appear to pose a threat.
“What’s up?” Alec crossed his arms over his chest and pressed his back against the stainless-steel industrial-sized deep sink.
The fifteen-year-old shifted his gaze to the outdated linoleum, then looked at Alec with eyes full of curiosity and...a touch of vulnerability. His neck reddened. “I was wondering... I mean...well, how did you get to be a good cook?”
Alec dropped his eyes to the menus he and Sarah had been working on for next week. “I didn’t really have a choice. I lost my dad when I was fifteen. He was a marine and was killed by friendly fire.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s tough, man.”
Alec slipped his hands in his front pockets. “It was. After Dad’s funeral, I realized I needed to take care of my mom and little sister. We could eat PB&J only so long...know what I mean?”
Daniel laughed softly and stepped into the room, his eyes serious and tone sobering. “Yeah, I do. My parents were killed in a crash over Christmas. My kid brother, Toby, and I live with my grandma. She’s tired after working all day and not in the best of health. I feel like it’s up to me to be the man of the house, I guess.”
Oh, man.
Something inside Alec shifted as he looked at the quiet kid who he’d seen treat others with respect but keep to himself. “I’m sorry for your loss.” Alec crossed the room and set a hand on the kid’s bony shoulder. “How are you doing?”
Daniel shrugged and looked off into the distance. “Okay. We left Pittsburgh and moved to Shelby Lake to live with Gram.” His eyes filled and his chin trembled. Clenching his jaw, he sniffed and ran a hand under his nose. “My dad and I went to Pirates games and stuff. Mom made these great pierogies. She promised to teach me someday...” His voice trailed off as he sniffed again. “I miss our house, my friends, the cool places to grab a bite.”
Alec gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, then shoved his hand back into his pocket. “I get it, man. I do. My dad was stationed in California when he was killed. Coming to Shelby Lake was a bit of a change, but in time, this place grew on me. Now it’s home. Give it a chance.”
“I know, and I’m trying.” Daniel kicked at the linoleum with the toe of his sneaker. “So what advice can you give me to become a better cook so I can help out Gram?”
Alec admired the kid’s integrity, but a warning sounded inside his head. Hadn’t Justin come to him all quiet and respectful? They had bonded over their love of music. Alec pushed those thoughts away and looked at Daniel.
Sadness glazed the kid’s eyes. Had he laughed once this week? Hung out with the other kids? Acted like an idiot with the rest of them? Alec’s thoughts tumbled through the mental pictures of the past few days. No, not once did he remember Daniel becoming part of the group. He kept his distance.
Something Alec knew all too well. He didn’t want to bond with the kid, but Daniel did seek him out for advice. The least he could do was steer him in the right direction. He could still keep his distance and protect himself.
Alec waved a hand over the kitchen, “Honestly, Daniel, if you stay in the outreach program, then you’re going to learn a lot. Sarah’s doing a great job teaching you guys about simple meal planning, shopping on a budget and making food that doesn’t come from a box.”
The corner of Daniel’s mouth tipped up. “I think Miss Sarah’s learning the cooking part along with the rest of us. She said she set off the smoke alarm making popcorn.”
Alec’s mouth twitched. He knew all too well. “She’s a quick learner and holds her own.”
“She’s pretty great.”
Alec nodded, then froze. What was he doing? So maybe he respected Sarah’s talents in connecting with the teens and appreciated her ability to learn quickly, but that didn’t mean he thought she was pretty great.
Sarah called from the open front entrance. “Daniel, your gram’s here.”
“Okay, just a sec.” He turned back to Alec and held out a hand. “Thanks, man.”
Alec shook his hand, then clapped him on the shoulder again. “No problem.”
Alone in the kitchen, Alec gathered the dirty towels and dishcloths. He’d take them home and wash them. One less thing for Sarah to do.
They shared the same amount of hours, but the stuff she managed to get done amazed him.
After leaving the center, she spent a couple of hours at his uncle’s house, packing, tossing and organizing. Alec stopped in when he didn’t have evening appointments, but he had to admit he was little help. Sarah claimed it was because he had an emotional attachment to the house and everything in it. She was probably right.
The door slammed closed as his phone chimed in his pocket. He fished it out to find Kathy, Uncle Emmett’s home health nurse, calling.
“Alec Seaver,” he answered as Sarah breezed into the kitchen, her wildflower scent following her like a shadow.
The older woman’s voice sounded hesitant. “Alec, I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m concerned about Emmett.”
“What’s wrong?” Alec gripped the phone, his gut tightening.
“Well, if you ask him, everything’s fine, but he’s not socializing and I’m afraid he’s becoming depressed. Plus, he fired me again.”
“I’m sorry. That’s the third time since he moved in.” Alec’s shoulders dropped, thankful her concern wasn’t dire. “I can head over there now and talk to him.”
“It doesn’t have to be immediately. I don’t want to pull you away from your work.”
“Family first, Kathy. Besides, I’m done for the day.” He ended the call, gathered the bag of towels and brushed past Sarah for the front door.
“I need to go see Emmett.”
Sarah’s flip-flops slapped against the linoleum as she caught up with him and fell in step, concern lining her face. “Everything okay?”
Alec repeated his conversation with Kathy. “I’m going to talk to him.”
“Want some company?”
“You don’t need to get caught up in my problems.”
“I understand depression.” A shadow crossed her eyes, but she smiled so quickly he won
dered if he’d imagined it. “Maybe I can help.”
Alec looked at her a moment. How would Little Miss Sunshine know about depression? Working with youth? Or something personal? “Fine, but you’ll have to excuse Emmett’s cranky demeanor.”
“Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”
“Actually this is good timing. He’s been wanting to meet the girl I hired to go ‘rooting through his stuff.’” Alec made air quotes around the last phrase.
Sarah’s laughter followed him as he crossed the parking lot and slid into the driver’s seat. He tossed the bag of towels on the passenger seat, cranked the AC and waited a moment while Sarah unlocked her car and disappeared inside.
They drove separately to the Lakeside Suites. Alec wound his car around the semicircular drive, then parked in the paved lot facing a backyard with a gazebo, fountain, well-maintained flower beds and a boccie court. Sarah parked next to him.
They entered the building, which opened into an open sitting room with large glass windows that bathed the room in sunshine and smelled like lemon oil. Two ladies sat on a couch, chatting over small porcelain teacups. A man read the newspaper.
Alec knocked on Uncle Emmett’s apartment door. When he didn’t open it, Alec used his key to get inside. The blaring TV greeted them. He strode into the small apartment, picked up the remote off the small side table next to the worn recliner and turned down the volume.
Uncle Emmett stirred, a frown pinching his eyebrows together. “I was watching that.”
“You still can, but I’d like to keep my eardrums intact.”
“What’d you say?” His gravelly voice lifted.
“Kathy called and said you fired her again.”
“I don’t need a nurse.” Uncle Emmett pulled his glasses off his face and cleaned them with his white handkerchief. Despite having been retired for over a decade, Emmett continued to dress as if he were heading for the classroom in his white dress shirt and favored bow tie.
“That’s what you said the other two times.”
“She has cold hands.”
“I heard you the first time.” Alec kept his tone neutral. Losing his cool wouldn’t benefit either of them. Why did his uncle have to be so stubborn?
