by Dahlia West
“You parents seem nice,” he told her and meant it sincerely. Though they were worn, slightly brittle people, and Austin could see, even in his few hours with them, why Leah was so fiercely protective of them. This was a family that lived without hope that much good could actually happen to them. Surviving each and every day as it came seemed to be what they had accepted.
“They are,” Leah said with a firm nod. “They don’t have a lot of money…we don’t have a lot of money…but we’re grateful for what we have.”
Austin didn’t miss the way her hand went straight to her belly when she said it.
“The bill will come, for yesterday’s appointment.” She sighed and leaned her head back onto the seat.
“I’ll pay it.”
“I’ll pay half,” Leah insisted immediately.
Austin wasn’t sure he was willing to let her do that. “Are you sure you can afford it? How much do you make? With this jewelry thing?”
Leah sank down lower in the seat and bit her lip. “I didn’t lie. Not exactly.”
Austin shot her a look. More Not Lying. How much of it did she do?
“I sell some,” she insisted.
“But not enough to pay off your medical bills,” he surmised, judging by the stack of bills he’d picked up off the floor of her apartment.
“No,” she said glumly. “There are less than 10,000 people in this town. I do okay, but…” She sighed heavily and twisted her short hair in her fingers. “They shouldn’t have to worry. They’ve worried enough. My whole life. I make jewelry. I sell a little. They don’t need to hear about anything else. I can’t be their responsibility anymore. It’s not right. I have a job. The jewelry’s just a side thing and it helps a little. That’s all they need to know.”
They made it through Cody and almost to the western city limits when she lifted her hand and pointed out the window. “Can we stop?” she asked, gesturing to a turnoff.
“Do you have to pee already?” he asked, trying for a joke.
She didn’t take it for one, though. “No. I just…want to stop. Right here. At the dam.”
“All right, I guess.” He checked for traffic and then swung wide into the parking lot. He hopped out and fell into step alongside her as she moved past the large, glass building and went straight for the walkway that stretched out over the enormous reservoir.
She turned her face up to the sun, eyes closed, lips curved into a slight smile.
Austin had to fight the urge to cup her face in his hands and kiss her. “What do you like about this place?” he asked instead.
For a long moment he thought she wouldn’t tell him, but after a while she finally said, “It shouldn’t be here. It shouldn’t exist at all. Every year from the time they started, floods would come and destroy most of their work, but they never gave up on it. And now here it is, stronger than anything around it for hundreds of miles.” She leaned out over the wall. “Water is a destructive force. One of the most destructive. It attacks from all sides, relentlessly, but the dam never buckles or collapses. Despite the fact that it shouldn’t be here, it is. It has a purpose.”
Austin watched her hand float absentmindedly to her lower belly and he didn’t have to ask what Leah thought her purpose was. There were worse things in life, he decided, than a woman like this having his child. Far worse. Who knew how things would work out between the two of them, but he felt certain that Leah would protect their baby in the same way she was obviously protecting her parents.
“You have a purpose, too, Leah,” he pointed out to her.
“I do now.”
It didn’t seem worth it to nitpick her choice of words or what they said about how she saw herself. Austin simply helped her back into the truck and they set off down the highway toward Snake River, which he liked infinitely better than the Shoshone for obvious reasons and hoped Leah would grow to love, too.
He flipped on the radio and let her choose the station. Willie Nelson filled the cab and they sang along, finding common ground where none had seemed to exist at all before then. By the time Waylon was singing about a small town in Texas, Austin looked over to see if maybe he’d finally stumped her on lyrics. Instead, he found her asleep, slumped against the passenger side door. When they hit a bump, because he was too busy looking at her—whoops!—she opened her eyes, squinted around, and then inexplicably moved closer to him and put her head on his shoulder.
“Leah, are you hungry?” he asked, more than willing to stop at a drive through once they got out of Yellowstone. She didn’t answer, though, and he thought perhaps it was better to drive straight through and get her home. Sofia would have a hot meal waiting for them whenever they arrived.
When he finally turned the truck onto the gravel driveway of Snake River, the rumble in the cab jolted her awake. Austin felt her jerk against him, blink and look up at him, confused. She pushed away from him and he let his arm slip from her shoulders. “You fell asleep,” he declared, stating the obvious. “And you moved over to my side.”
Leah frowned as though she didn’t believe him, but blushed as she ran a hand through her unruly hair. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
Austin smiled at her. “You don’t remember doing it, do you? Moving to my side?” She shook her head then looked away. He refused to be discouraged, though. Part of her trusted him, at least. That was enough for now.
He parked in front of the Big House and put the truck neutral. “Well, here we are,” he said as he helped her down from the cab. “Welcome home, Leah.”
Chapter Sixteen
‡
Leah felt strange looking up at the huge log-cabin home. Of course, it looked exactly the same as it had the first time she’d seen it, but she’d never looked at it with an eye toward living in it. There was a porch she might sit on, a flowerbed she’d help weed. There was a large tire swing hanging from the branch of an enormous tree. A child played here. Certainly her child might.
Judging by Austin’s smile, she was sure he meant the greeting warmly. The house seemed slightly less imposing than the first time she’d seen it, though compared to her own it still loomed like a castle above her head. It was quite a bit different from her parents’ rambling ranch that needed a new roof before next winter. It had been a bit nerve-wracking to have him meet her parents, to let him see their house which was tiny in comparison. If only because it might make him re-think the gold digger accusation.
The difference in their financial situations couldn’t be more obvious as she watched him pull her battered suitcase from the truck’s bed. She felt like a beggar, felt like sleeping in one of the nearby barns.
Sofia embraced her, though, as if Leah had never left the woman’s side. “Are you tired?” she asked, appraising Leah on the porch steps. “Such a long time in the car. Come on, come inside.” She pulled Leah into the house and through the living room to the kitchen which at once seemed familiar. The cooking smells made Leah’s stomach rumble but she didn’t risk embarrassing herself on her first night.
Sofia gave her a knowing smile, no doubt having heard Leah’s stomach’s declaration, and pushed a basket of cookies across the table as they both sat down. “You eat.”
“Oh,” groaned Leah, shaking her head. “I can’t eat. I just can’t.” She clapped a hand over her mouth and tried to keep calm.
“I’ll make tea,” Sofia declared, pulling down a mug from the cabinet. “It’ll help. I remember. Gabriel, my son, oh, what trouble he gave me!”
“You have a son, too?” asked Leah, only remembering Dakota.
The older woman nodded. “He’s on the range with Sawyer this week. Drink. It’s ginger. It’ll help.”
Leah picked up the mug, sniffed it, and took a small taste. To her surprise it was quite soothing. She sighed in relief. “Thanks, I’ve been so, so sick these last few days.”
“Sofia?” called a voice from the living room. “I come bearing tomatoes.” A woman slightly older than Leah with auburn hair entered the room laden with grocery bags.<
br />
Sofia jumped up and took them from her as the woman noticed Leah’s presence at the table. She smiled, making Leah feel a bit more at ease. “You must be Leah,” she said extending a hand.
Leah rose and shook it. She noticed the woman had a few callouses and a strong grip. This was, if anything, a practical woman, Leah surmised.
“A flash forward,” the woman said with a smile while running a hand across her own stomach. She couldn’t have been much farther along than Leah, but her pregnancy was obvious. “I’m Rowan.”
“Leah.”
The side door opened and a man who was unmistakably one of the Barlows came into the kitchen. He caught sight of Rowan, stalked straight to her, and took her in his arms, planting a long, slow kiss on her lips.
“Seth!” Rowan gasped, trying to push him away.
He wouldn’t be deterred though. He hung onto her without letting an inch of space between them.
“Seth, we have company!” she hissed.
He glanced at her, smiled in that way that Austin had, and nodded. “Hello.”
“H…hi,” Leah replied.
There was a thump from the living room and Rowan sighed before calling out, “Baby, don’t break anything!”
After a moment, a high-pitched, “ ’Kay!” wafted through the door.
“I’ll get her,” Seth declared and finally let go of Rowan. He disappeared into the living room.
“My little girl,” said Rowan with a smile. “I think she’s evolving into a Category Five twister. Only Seth seems to be able to keep her from destroying us all.”
As Leah laughed, the side door opened again and this time a bearded man filled the frame as he stepped into the kitchen. He paused for a moment, staring at her. His brow knitted, forming deep lines on his face. Leah couldn’t even tell how old he was through all that facial hair.
“Who’re you?” he asked gruffly.
Leah sucked in a sharp breath.
“Court,” said Rowan in a sharp tone. Leah was surprised anyone would raise their voice to this man. “This is Leah.”
He frowned at her as a heavy silence hung in the room. Finally he said, “Austin’s woman.”
It was impossible to know what to say to that. Leah wasn’t Austin’s woman but neither was she a stranger. For God’s sake she was carrying the man’s baby. The whole situation seemed too difficult to explain, and even if Leah tried, she had no damn idea what the real explanation might be. She simply nodded and kept her mouth shut.
“Daddy!” A little girl came charging through the kitchen and was swept up into…Court’s arms.
Leah blinked at them rapidly.
“Calamity Jane!” he cried while slinging her onto his back. Leah was struck by his immediate change in demeanor. The scary mountain man was gone and had been replaced by a father who delighted in his child. They trotted out of the kitchen and into the living room.
Unable to stop herself, Leah glanced at Rowan, wide eyed.
“Yeah,” said the woman. “It’s…complicated.”
Leah shook her head quickly. “I’m not…I mean, I would never ask. I don’t…”
Rowan shrugged. “Court and I didn’t work out but Seth and I did. That’s just the way it happened. We’re all figuring it out as we go.”
Leah nodded dumbly trying to imagine (or not imagine) having not one Barlow but two!
“Leah?” asked Rowan. “Are you all right?”
“I can’t even handle Austin,” she blurted out then clapped her hand over her mouth.
Rowan, surprisingly, laughed. Her whole face lit up and she looked beautiful standing in the summer sun streaming in through the window. “Trust me, I know.”
“I didn’t mean that,” Leah recovered frantically. “I mean, when he came to Cody, he wouldn’t leave me alone. He wouldn’t leave without talking. He was really insistent. They seem so…” She glanced at Seth who was helping Sofia in the kitchen, remembering the powerful way he’d trapped Rowan in his arms and kissed her.
Austin hadn’t kissed Leah, of course, not since that night. But she still felt…
“Intense,” said Rowan, breaking into Leah’s thoughts. “Yeah, they’re kind of like that. Intense.”
*
The Barlow family was more than slightly overwhelming with Walker, Seth, Austin, Court, Cassidy, Rowan and the little girl Willow (and apparently another brother named Sawyer Leah hadn’t yet met). There was also the Vasquezes: Sofia, Dakota, and the troublemaking Gabe who was also not in attendance.
Leah was just Leah, an only child plus her parents.
“My Manny,” Sofia told her as the dinner table got quiet. “He died with Rafe. In the last winter storm.”
Leah couldn’t imagine what it was like to lose a husband—or to have one to begin with. These two families had been through quite a lot and she could sympathize with bad luck, certainly. Her own family was quiet, mostly. They tiptoed around each other, as though their entire world was made of glass. The Barlows and the Vasquezes were the opposite, loud but with a familiarity and warmth that drew in outsiders. She nearly nodded off just listening to them talking to each other.
Soon enough her plate had been cleared away without her even noticing and Court gathered up little Willow to carry her out the front door with Rowan following. She gave Leah a smile and wave and disappeared outside.
Austin materialized beside her, smiling down at her. “Ready for bed?”
If Leah could’ve slept in her chair to avoid the awkwardness of this moment, she gladly would have. She took a deep breath and followed Austin up the wooden stairs.
“That’s Walker’s room,” he told her quietly, pointing to the first door they passed.
Leah glanced at it and saw it was dark at the crack just above the floor. She tried to step quietly as she made her way farther down the hall.
“The bathroom’s at the end. That one there.”
They stopped just before it, though, and Austin put his hand on the brass knob of the door on the left. He turned it and pushed. Leah’s heart started to pound in her chest. The memory of being with him made her tingle all over. He reached in and turned on the light, revealing a navy blue bedroom with faded wallpaper. “If you need anything, I’ll be across the hall.”
She blinked at him. “This…this isn’t your room?”
“No, it’s Seth’s room,” he told her.
Leah gaped at him. “Seth?”
Austin nodded. “He’s moved to the next farm over, to Rowan’s place. This used to be his room but it’s free now. It’s got everything you need, a bed, a dresser, a closet. The bathroom’s down the hall. Walker’s got his own since he moved into the master, so just you and I will have to share.”
“Oh. Oh, okay.”
Except it didn’t seem okay. Not totally. Alone in a strange house, across the hall from a semi-strange man, she wasn’t sure which was the better choice. Although, to be fair, Austin wasn’t exactly inviting her into his bed, either.
She slipped past him and entered the room, which was larger than her bedroom at the apartment she’d shared with Candace.
“Good night,” he said and began slowly closing the door.
Leah’s heart pounded with something akin to sudden claustrophobia bubbling up in her chest. Wanting to call out “Stop!” or “Don’t go!” she swallowed down the panic and managed a meek, “Good night.”
The door clicked softly but in the heavy silence it might well have been as loud as a gunshot. She shivered, standing in the center of the unfamiliar room. Willing herself to move, she checked the dresser and found all the drawers empty. As was the closet. She busied herself with putting her clothes away, folding and re-folding them, purposely avoiding looking at the bed underneath the window on the far side of the room.
When she had nothing left to put away, and nothing that she could convince herself needed rearranging, she finally slipped on a nightgown and pulled back the sheets. The bed was comfortable, at least, and the pillow was just firm enough
. There was no good reason not to fall asleep, but she lay awake anyway, staring at the ceiling fan.
Without allowing herself a chance to question it, she jumped out of the bed, padded across the room in her bare feet, and opened the bedroom door. The hallway was empty and terribly dark, but it was just a few feet to Austin’s closed door. The floor creaked when she stepped on it and she paused, glancing down the hallway toward Walker’s room, hoping she wasn’t about to wake the entire house.
She painstakingly crept the rest of the way across and stood in front of Austin’s door, heart pounding in her ears, fingers twitching at her sides. What if she did knock? What would she say when he opened the door? What did she want? Leah had no idea. All she knew was that Austin Barlow was the only familiar thing in this place, insofar as she knew him at all. He’d shown her where to find towels and food but not comfort.
In the end, her fear got the better of her and she turned on her heel, not knowing how to ask for that. She slunk back across the hall to her brand new—and empty—bedroom, closing the door softly behind her.
Chapter Seventeen
‡
Austin waited on the other side of the door, debating whether or not to open it. Odds were good he’d scare his little rabbit away if he did that, since she clearly was having second thoughts about knocking. He’d heard the bedroom door open, heard her feet on the wooden floor. Her shadow loomed large through the crack at the bottom, making Leah look like giant come to grind his bones.
Maybe she had. Maybe she was pissed. Maybe she was second guessing the choice to move and wanted to tell him so.
He didn’t open the door, in case that was it. He didn’t want to take her back to Cody. He wanted her to give Snake River—and him—a chance. Go back to bed, he thought fervently. You should see this place in the morning, when the sun’s rising. No one can leave it after that.
Someone had, though, once upon a time. Gabe’s girlfriend. She’d up and left him after the first winter with a high and haughty ‘No, thank you.’ Kate was a city girl, though, where Leah was born and raised in Wyoming. No blizzard or drought could chase her away.
