by Dahlia West
“Do you think she’d—?” At that moment, he felt something cold and wet on his pants. “What the fuck?” He fumbled the doll, catching it by the leg before it hit the floor. “It leaked!”
Sawyer doubled with laughter as he watched Austin grabbing frantically for a dish towel. “You know, if you keep holding its leg like that, social services is going to show up.”
“God damn it, Sawyer!” As Austin dabbed at the spreading stain, the towel turned yellow. “Is that urine? What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Shit just got real.”
“Does it shit, too?” He flung the thing onto the island hard enough for it to bounce off and roll onto the tiled floor.
Sawyer shook his head. “Well, now you’re in jail. You don’t even get an A for effort here, vaquero.”
“Damn it, Sawyer!” Austin rubbed at his jeans trying to stop the dark stain from spreading. At that moment, the side door opened and Leah and Candace stepped into the kitchen. Both women froze and stared at him for a moment before they burst out laughing. “I…this…this is not…I didn’t…He did it!” he cried jabbing a finger at his brother. “He bought me a baby that leaks.”
“I’m going to kill you,” he threatened but his little brother only howled. Austin stormed off through the living room and upstairs to change into some clean clothes. It might not be urine. It might be just colored water, but with Sawyer it paid to take no chances.
Back down stairs, he only found Candace, sitting alone on the porch. “Where’s Leah?” he asked, though after this bullshit she probably wasn’t interested in finding herself alone with him again any time soon.
“The bathroom. Again,” Candace said with a roll of her eyes.
As they waited, Austin saw an opening to get what he hadn’t been able to from Leah in these past few days. “Is she happy?” he asked, not really wanting to know the answer but needing to anyway.
Candace looked at him askance.
“I keep asking,” he told her. “She says she’s fine. Just fine. I can’t tell what she’s thinking half the time.”
The brunette sighed. “Leah keeps everyone at arm’s length. She always has. Even growing up, when she got sick. She never talked about it.”
Austin frowned at her. “Why? Isn’t it hard for her, to go through all that alone?”
“Yes.”
“Then why?” he asked again. He couldn’t understand it. Here at Snake River he was surrounded by people would lend him a helping hand if he asked. Most times he didn’t even have to ask.
“So, it won’t be so hard on us,” Candace answered, “if she dies and leaves us alone.”
Austin blinked at her, trying to parse her words. “If she dies,” he repeated numbly.
Candace sighed. “Leah’s had it rough. The cancer struck early and fast the first time, when she was a little girl.”
Austin took a deep breath and tried to steady himself on his feet. “The first time.” The words tasted like ashes in his mouth.
The brunette nodded and he could see a deep well of sympathy in her dark eyes. “And then they said she was okay, in remission they said. Her folks had a party, cake and ice cream, rented a pony they couldn’t afford. They were so happy.”
“And then she got sick again,” he concluded. He tried to picture it, a terrified little girl, her struggling family, all of them thinking they’d spotted the rainbow after a storm, only to find out they were only in the eye of a hurricane.
Candace nodded. “Two years ago. It hit her mama the hardest. I swear I never saw a woman go to church more often than Mrs. Pierce. And Leah, she wouldn’t let her daddy take another job to help pay for the treatments. She told them she had insurance working at the museum.”
Austin groaned. “And she didn’t.”
“Not to speak of. It covers one of her medications, none of the others, and none of the treatments.”
“God damn it,” he growled and kicked at the dirt under his boots.
“She couldn’t put her parents through hell again, she said. So she hid everything from them as best she could. They don’t know about her credit cards, about all the payments she’s making to the oncologist and the hospital. She even waited two whole weeks to tell them that her final scans were totally clear.”
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “Why would she wait?”
Candace shrugged. “Caught between two evils, I guess. Keep torturing them, knowing she was sick again and worrying over her, or tell them she’d supposedly gone into remission again, only to find out it came back later. Her mama thinks it’s a miracle. Her daddy is too wary to trust it. So’s Leah. She won’t talk about it, won’t say anything out loud or make plans for the future.”
Austin’s jaw clenched and he glared at the young woman. “And what are you doing about that?” It rankled him to think Leah hadn’t been getting the support she so clearly needed.
Candace bristled at his tone. “Well, I made her that list, didn’t I?” she snapped, jerking her chin at the wrinkled paper in his hand. “I think it’s over. I think she beat the damn thing! And I think Leah’s earned her chance to be happy. That’s what I think! She deserves to start a life for herself. And I’m hoping she’ll get lucky and find a man who’ll stick around.”
The sharp look in her eyes told him she was trying to rile him. And God damn it if it didn’t work. Picturing Leah with another man made him go rigid. “I’m not going anywhere,” he growled. “I’ve already said I’d take care of the baby.”
Candace eyed him sharply. “Yeah. But who’ll take care of her?”
He hadn’t meant it that way. “I will.”
“But will you love her?” Candace shot back.
Austin rocked back on his heels, stung the same as if the girl had slapped him. “I…I haven’t…I haven’t promised her that.”
“Well maybe you should think about just how much you can really give her. Because a ranch is fine and dandy and help raising the baby is nice, too. But Leah deserves everything, absolutely everything.” Candace took a menacing step forward and Austin held his ground but he felt like an asshole. She reached out a poked a finger into his chest. “She deserves it and I’m going to make sure she gets it. If not with you, then with someone else. She can have your money, Mr. Big Shot Rancher, and she can have love with someone else. There’s nothing wrong with that these days.”
Austin was tempted to tell her that he wasn’t a big shot. He didn’t actually have much money, but somehow that made him seem even worse. More and more it seemed he might’ve come out ahead on the deal while Leah had gotten swindled. “I won’t hurt her,” he insisted.
Candace jammed her hands on her hips as she looked up at him. “I think you should stay away from her. Just leave her alone.”
Austin gaped at her. “Leave her alone?” The suggestion seemed ridiculous under the circumstances. “She’s pregnant with my baby, Candace!”
The woman rolled her eyes. “Well, if you hadn’t fumbled around like an asshat without a top hat, she wouldn’t be in this mess!” She blew out a harsh breath. “I’m just as guilty as you are, I guess.”
“How’s that?”
“I pushed her into kicking up her heels in Jackson, having a good time.” Her gaze slitted in his direction, cold as any blizzard. “I should’ve known some smooth talking drunk in a Stetson would take a poke at her like a horny goat. She got no orgasm, a baby, and you out of the deal. I’d say she’s due for her luck to turn any day now. You stay away from my best friend, Austin Barlow. Even if she is pregnant.”
Candace turned and stormed off, kicking up dust as she walked. Austin gaped at her for a moment, then shouted, “Hang on! Is that what she told you? That she didn’t get off?”
She didn’t answer, instead leaving Austin to puzzle out his blurry memories of that night hotel room. He remembered giggling and heavy breathing. Surely she’d had a good time, right? His lack of an answer galvanized him. Leah had been through so much in her life, the very least he could do was sh
ow the girl a good time. But then maybe Candace was right and it was better to stay away.
“It’s going to storm,” he called after her. “You should head out unless you’re staying the night.”
Turning toward the barn, his thoughts were a jumble. Could he love her, this girl he barely knew? If he tried and failed, he might break her heart in the process. And it sounded as though Leah’s heart was already cracked in more than a few places. He’d never forgive himself if he was the one to shatter it.
Though it was against his nature as a gambling man to walk away from a little bit of risk, he was a Barlow first and foremost, and no man with an ounce of honor would play fast and loose with a girl’s heart, especially not a girl like Leah Pierce. They could be parents, but maybe that was all. Court and Rowan were making it work, co-parenting Willow. Austin and Leah could manage it just as well.
As he looked past Candace, toward Leah opening the front door and stepping out onto the porch, he decided Candace was right. It wasn’t worth the risk. Leah deserved a sure thing.
Chapter Twenty
‡
Leah spied Austin in the driveway but the moment she stepped out of the house and onto the porch, he turned away and headed toward the barn.
Candace was halfway across the driveway, walking back toward the house.
“Were you talking to Austin?” Leah asked her, wondering if he’d said anything to her friend about their earlier encounter in the tack room.
The girl shrugged. “Not really. I think he’s pretty embarrassed about his pants. And mad. I’d probably be mad, too, if I was related to a human whoopee cushion.”
“I’m sure Sawyer’s not that bad,” said Leah, though the man had only been at the house for a few days and she had no way to know. As long as she didn’t end up with a snake in her bed, he was someone else’s problem.
“So, are you really okay here?” asked Candace.
Leah smiled, the first genuine smile she could remember in a long time. “I mean, I wish you were here. But other than that, I have my own room, with a beautiful view of the mountains and everyone here is so, so nice. Walker’s a little…gruff…but he’s not mean or rude or anything like that. He’s like that with everyone.”
“They sure don’t seem like twins,” said Candace.
“I agree.”
Walker and Austin were at opposite ends. The brothers hardly even seemed related at all.
“I hate to you leave you,” said Candace, looking up at the sky.
“And I hate to see you go but come back soon, okay?”
“Promise,” said Candace, giving her a hug before heading to her car.
Once her friend was gone, Leah peeked into the barn, inside an outbuilding, and even checked the bunkhouse but could find no sign of Austin and was forced to give up. She pulled weeds in Sofia’s garden instead and tried to teach herself the names of the herbs that grew there. It wasn’t particularly exciting work but it passed the time and soon the older woman needed Leah’s help in the kitchen for dinner.
Sofia nodded once the biscuits were in the basket and cooling. “You ring the bell, huh?”
Leah stood on the front porch, pulling the rope, and peering out across the grounds, looking for a familiar shape. Sawyer came out of the bunkhouse, followed by Cassidy who was frantically buttoning her shirt. But there was no sign of Leah’s Barlow anywhere.
With a heavy sigh, she ducked into the kitchen and spotted him—finally! He turned to glance at her over his shoulder as he dried his hands on the kitchen towel. She could tell even from across the room he had that lazy smile on his face. She took a step forward, not really sure what would happen, but feeling a zing of electricity at the possibilities. At that moment, the side door opened and Sawyer came in from outside.
“Whoo, it’s hot!” he cried, pulling off his hat and fanning himself with it.
Austin said nothing, merely turned and walked out of the room.
Leah stifled a sigh and followed him to the dining room. At this rate, the baby might be in kindergarten before they ever got another minute alone. Dinner was long and excruciating, especially since Austin kept his attention on his plate and never once looked up at her. It was almost as though he’d forgotten their kiss, forgotten their stolen moment.
Or like it didn’t matter to him.
Feeling defeated and on the verge of tears, Leah gathered her plate and utensils, excused herself quietly and headed to the kitchen. She crammed her plate into the dishwasher and turned to track down Austin, to find out what the hell was going on, but she ended up face-to-face with Cassidy who was standing behind her.
The girl slid a piece of paper across the counter to her. “Here’s the number of the salon,” she said. “And the tanning place next door. They both want a display in their stores. Now, don’t take their first offer. Make sure you negotiate their cut to the bare minimum. Especially with Allison. She runs the salon. She can be ruthless.”
Leah’s heart stopped. “This…this is incredible! I can’t believe it.” She pinched the card between her fingers, holding onto it for dear life. Everyone at Snake River had been gracious about Leah’s presence but this made her feel more like family, which meant a lot since she was so far away from her own. “You didn’t have to do this, Cassidy. Really. It’s so generous. Thank you so much!”
“Are you kidding me?” the girl asked with a perfectly arched brow raised to the sky. “I’m just glad all that prancing and preening and painful smiling is finally paying off. If not for me, for someone at least. Hopefully when I’m done with my class, we can build you a website and then you can really take off!”
“A…a website?” asked Leah cautiously. That sounded big. That sounded complicated. She started to protest but the Lincoln County Fair Queen was having none of it.
Cassidy looked at her sharply. “Listen, it took me a long time to find anything I was good at. You already know what your talent is, so don’t throw it away on anything silly like lack of confidence.”
Leah didn’t know if she had that kind of confidence, truth be told. After all, it had taken more than a year to work up the courage to approach Mrs. Finley at the Center of the West. What she did know, beyond a doubt, was that she had a friend, and that was worth the most of all. She threw her arms around Cassidy, who was considerably taller, and hugged her. She felt blessed to have Cassidy stand in for Candace, who was so far away now.
“I won’t,” said Leah, which for her was more an ‘I’ll-try-not-to’, but it was sincerely meant and her affection for the girl genuine.
“Can I buy these?” asked Cassidy as she twisted the necklace around her fingers.
“You don’t have to buy them! They’re yours. Keep them!” Leah said.
Cassidy grinned and hugged her again. “Thanks!” she called out before heading through the side door, presumably toward the bunkhouse.
Leah pocketed the business card with the phone numbers scrawled on it and made her way through the living room, on her way upstairs. When she found herself at the end of the hallway, she noticed his bedroom was dark and so was the bathroom. She must’ve missed him, she thought, and her shoulders sagged. In her own bedroom across the hall, she lay down, staring at the ceiling, listening keenly for the sound of boots on the stairs. It was impossible to even close her eyes without thinking about Austin and their near-miss-kiss earlier in the day. If she couldn’t get him alone while the sun was shining, surely she could succeed after night had fallen—just to see, just to know.
Time ticked slowly by, though, and she had almost drifted off while waiting when she heard a low rumble in the distance outside. She got up and went not to the door but to the window, pulling the blinds and looking out through the pane. She forgot about Austin as lightning dazzled in the distance. Suddenly Leah was overcome with the urge to add something to her Reverse Bucket List, something she’d left off but seemed important now.
Dance in the rain.
Chapter Twenty-One
‡
Austin and Walker were finally finished going over the monthly expense reports. He hadn’t intended to take so damn long, but Walker insisted on going over the invoices for the last several years for a vendor located in Texas. Lone Star Stud Service appeared to be closed for the evening, though, and Austin had only managed to leave a voice mail. Knowing he wouldn’t hear back tonight at least, he shut off the office light before closing the door. The living room was already dark and it seemed everyone else had gone off to bed.
He made his way up the creaking stairs and stopped at Leah’s door but it was dark underneath the crack. He headed straight for the bathroom, stripped off his clothes, and stood under the hot shower until he couldn’t stand it any longer. A few quick tugs and he’d be free of his torment but he was in a foul mood and decided to let himself suffer. He’d made a promise to leave Leah alone, but it didn’t feel right, and it definitely didn’t feel natural. He wanted her but he didn’t want to make things any more complicated. Deciding he’d had enough, he shut off the water, threw on a pair of shorts, and opened the bathroom door.
Before he even took a step, he heard a low rumble and realized there was a storm on its way. Storms out here were often more intense than they were elsewhere, even in town. The open land did nothing to slow the winds that sometimes whipped through at ferocious speeds. And being in the valley, thunder echoed louder, making it seem as though the storm was right on top of the house.
Concerned about the possibility of it scaring Leah, he headed quickly down the hall to check on her. He knocked on her door and waited, but no answer came. Surely she couldn’t sleep through all this? Austin hesitated then took hold of the doorknob and opened it just a crack. “Leah?” he called softly.
No answer.
In the distance thunder rumbled, but it seemed closer now.
“Leah?” he said again and finally opened the door wide. The room was empty, the covers on the bed pulled back. He squinted into the dark just case he’d missed her somehow. There was no sign of her, though.
