by M. A. Owens
The day before we were to go deliver our fourth warning to Brutus, Rick called and gave me some precise instructions so I could offer them in the form of suggestions to Bones. He told me where to go in, where we would speak to Brutus, and precisely what time the physical part would take place. Someone leaked information to the department that the theater would be closed. However, information was given to other individuals that there was to be a private showing of a play. It would take place in one of the main theater halls. The audience was given strict instructions to remain completely silent, as there would be a special opening planned for the play that would take place behind the curtain. Attendees were told that the actors were sensitive to any noise or reaction from the audience, so it was essential that there be complete silence and lack of movement on part of those attending. The attendees were all the elite performance critics from Adria and beyond. In fact, every district was to be represented in the audience. Critics were to sign ironclad nondisclosure agreements; they could inform no one else of their attendance.
Brutus, upon our arrival, was waiting for us exactly where I was told he would be. He was standing out in the hallway where the offices were and we gave chase the moment we saw him. Brutus was a fast runner as it turned out. He had no problem staying just ahead of us the entire way. We went through rehearsal rooms and found ourselves finally backstage, then we went onto the stage behind the curtain. There was complete silence. I knew what was about to happen, but no one else did. I assumed that Brutus did too, but even that I didn’t know for sure.
When Brutus was cornered on the stage, he turned to us and shouted.
“You’re the true criminals of this city, the lot of you! A scourge on the good people of this district who work hard just so you can play henchmen for Mr. B.”
Bones never passed up an opportunity to get on his soapbox. He was quick to point out the specifics of the arrangement.
“Brutus, you act as if this is all unreasonable and without warning. You needed only to pay the protection fee to Mr. B. Then none of this would be happening right now. You’ve been paying it fine until now. I’ve seen your books. It’s only a small portion of your profits, so you’re more than capable of doing it. You have no one to blame for this but yourself!”
“I’ll not try to reason further with thugs who treat the uniform as a mere costume that makes it easier to shakedown citizens.”
We surrounded Brutus, and, despite how good of a scrapper he was, we gave him a sound beating. He delivered a compelling shot to my jaw. If this was a performance, it sure felt authentic, even though I knew it wasn’t on account of what I saw him do to Marty. What a guy.
The curtain opened just as Bones was about to get his feel. The look on everyone’s face was that of pure horror, including the faces of the police who just got caught red-handed doing a shakedown for Mr. B’s protection racket. The audience had heard everything and now they’d seen it too. Bones ordered everyone to stay put, but that didn’t even come close to happening. Before he even got the sentence out, half the audience had jumped up and ran out. It was too dark to see who they were or to even get a good look at their faces. We were up on stage and it was well lit. Everyone saw all of our faces, and clearly.
34
All we could do was sit tight and wait. The next morning, we went into the department as usual, and it didn’t take long to notice that the phone wasn’t ringing. Bones was bouncing his foot excessively under his desk. The toothy, forced smile showed me he was attempting to hold on to the confidence that everything would work out. He seemed sure that no matter what happened, no matter what kind of trouble he found himself in, that Mr. B would get him out of it. He was probably right. But that didn’t mean things couldn’t get interesting anyway.
I heard a commotion coming from outside. It was a few dozen officers from the Blue District approaching. Marching right at the front was Colonel Patches himself. I could barely contain my excitement, which thankfully looked enough like fear that no one seemed to notice. One of the Adria officers met them at the door and told them they weren’t allowed inside and that they didn’t have jurisdiction here. He was promptly ignored and shoved aside, landing flat on the floor. I and several others ran straight to Colonel Bones’s office, though I went there for a different reason than everyone else. It took just a few seconds for Patches to make his way up the steps and into the office, where he met Bones face-to-face. Bones had stood in front of his desk, paws behind his back, waiting.
“Patches, just what do you think you’re doing here?”
“Isn’t it obvious, Bones?”
“What’s obvious, Colonel, is that you don’t have jurisdiction here. You are about to make a big mistake.”
“No, you’re the one who made a mistake. You broke the law, and there are enough witnesses that even you won't be able to get out of it this time.”
“So what? So I committed a crime, and there were a lot of witnesses. I’m sure you’re aware of who I work for. Both officially and unofficially. Either of which can put you in your place and make sure this is something you will come to sorely regret. You sure you want to go down this path?”
“Mr. B hasn’t so much as sent his lowest crony to your defense. It seems that your gross incompetence has left him feeling a little disappointed.”
Bones’s smile slowly faded from his face. He understood almost immediately that this part was definitely true. After all, he'd just warned me of the same thing recently. You will undoubtedly regret it if you disappoint Mr. B.
“You listen here, small fry. You wait until I call the chief and—”
“Call him,” Patches said as he pointed to the phone on the desk. “Let’s find out what he has to say.”
Was that sweat pouring down Bones’s cheeks?
“Fine,” Bones spat. “Let’s see how much of a big shot you are after the chief hears about this.”
Bones set the phone to speaker and dialed. “ACPD, how may I direct your call?” the voice said.
“Put me through to the Chief of Police! I need to talk to him, now!” Bones demanded.
“Sir, I’m very sorry. The chief isn't available right now.”
“What do you mean he isn't available right now? Do you not know who I am? This is Colonel Bones. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll put me through to the chief’s office right this second.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to put you through to the chief’s office, Colonel. It’s just that the chief’s not in right now. It’s chaos here. They arrested the previous chief this morning, and the new chief left a little while ago. In fact, now that I think of it, he said he was on his way to see you. He should be there any minute, so you can talk to him in person.”
Bones’ angry, erratic arm gestures quickly turned into slumped shoulders. His paw was shaking as he reached over to hang up the call. He stood up straight, looking in Patches’ direction, but his eyes seemed to go right through him. Patches reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his badge, holding it out for Bones to read. There, right across the top and bottom, the badge stated in raised, bold lettering: ARC CITY CHIEF OF POLICE.
“Colonel Bones, I hereby relieve you of duty. You and your entire department are under arrest for corruption and racketeering. You’ll be coming with me quietly. Or not. It’s up to you. Personnel from Blue District will run your department until we can sift through the rot.” The smile stretching across Patches’ face was brighter than the sun.
I wanted to cheer. I wanted to applaud. Unfortunately, I also wanted to keep my cover for just a bit longer. Wanted to save my own neck, to be more precise. I would have to settle for all that happening in my head and celebrating on the inside. Bones offered his paws up for cuffing without a fight while the other officers and I followed suit. They arrested every officer in the department.
A series of trials took place over the coming weeks, and Mr. B made it very clear how he felt about the entire thing. He did precisely nothing. He sent none of his goons
to interfere with the trial. No one was visited in the dark of night, or during the day for that matter. The Chief of Police… former chief, I should say, was given an expedited trial, convicted and sent to prison. Bones and the rest of the department of Adria sat in prison awaiting their own trials. This was along with many officers in other districts who had served the former chief a little too faithfully. I, on the other hand, had received a quiet pardon after Patches identified me as a confidential informant. Seems Rick was secretly sending the information to Patches with my name on it. Not that I’m complaining. Rick didn’t want to be identified, and I was happy having my hide saved.
I was finally back in the Black District, and happy to be there. Back in my little office, far away from all the lights and excitement. I would have been happy if it stayed that way, but nothing ever works out the way you want it to in this city.
35
In the coming weeks, things really improved in the city. No criminal was safe anymore with Patches at the helm. Arrests were happening one after another, the jails were running out of space, the courts were getting backed up, and the best part of all was that crime went down. It really went down for the first time in a long time. Folks were feeling safer in their own homes.
Remember how I said things never go the way you want for long? Well, they didn’t.
A buzz startled me as I sat in my chair struggling to read the newspaper under my desk lamp. Jumped so hard I almost knocked the thing over. Piece of junk burned hot enough to bake a pizza under it, so I couldn’t stand to have it on more than a few minutes at a time. Should’ve replaced it ages ago.
“Detective, there is a sharply dressed dog and cat here to see you,” Zelda said.
“They been here before?” I asked.
“No, they’ve never been here before. He said this visit was a long time coming, so I thought you might be expecting them.”
“Go ahead and send—” I suddenly got a sinking feeling in my stomach. Something wasn’t right. This visit was a long time coming? Sounded like these two thought maybe I had it coming. I’d given Zelda a code phrase for just this situation. It let her know to calmly get out and get help. “Say, it’s been a long day. Why don’t you head on home after you send them in? Don’t worry, I’ll lock up when I’m done, but don’t forget to lock the box on the way out.”
“Okay, Trigger. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said calmly.
I recognized immediately who the dog was as the two visitors came in, which made my heart skip a few beats. It was Marty. I’d never seen the cat with him. He was a big orange tabby wearing a suit that looked like it cost more than the real estate in this whole district. Marty pulled out a chair in front of my desk for him. No way... Was this who I thought it was? If I was to have any hope of making it out of here alive, I really hoped it wasn’t. Just on the small chance I hadn’t been found out, I played it cool.
“Have a seat, gentlemen.” I motioned to the two chairs in front of me. They were both so calm I was really starting to hope they were here for reasons other than what I suspected. Marty spoke first.
“It’s good to see you again, detective. I finally got that wire taken out of my jaw. See?” He rubbed his jaw with his paw.
I offered my best smile. “Good for you, Marty. I’m glad you could get out of that whole mess, but I figured you would. I’m sure you noticed that… after that happened, I joined up with Bones to do a lot for Mr. B in Adria. Well, that was until Bones dropped the ball. He really messed up the whole plan. I had no choice but to come back here and lie low for a while. When things blow over, I could come back and get things going again.”
I kept waiting for that big orange cat to speak, but he wouldn’t. He just kept smiling at me. No matter what I said, all he would do is that menacing, thin smile. The anticipation was killing me, but I couldn’t just outright ask. If he was worth knowing, I’d find out soon enough.
“Yeah? That’s so good to hear. You know, me and my friend here were curious how you avoided going to jail with Bones and all the others, so we thought we’d come down here in person and ask.”
“Easy. I spilled my guts at the last minute. Made a deal with Patches that would get me off with a slap on the wrist. I had to sell out a few of the small fries to do it, but I’m sure you could understand why I did it.” The two of them looked at each other. The big orange cat still smiling like he had from the moment he walked into the room, except now Marty was smiling too. They both laughed like I had just told the world’s funniest joke without meaning to. The big orange cat stood up.
“I’ve wanted to meet you for a long time, detective. And I must admit, you did not disappoint. It really is a shame we know absolutely everything there is to know about you. We know that you were working for someone to disrupt my operations in Adria. We don’t know who it was yet, but we will soon. After today, I think you will find that they will be sufficiently provoked into exposing themselves. I’m sorry, I misspoke. After today you won’t be finding much of anything unless it's at the bottom of the Adria River.” He turned to leave the room, just as Marty rubbed his right fist into his left paw.
“What’s your name, cat? At least tell me your name!”
“My name? Vash is my name.” He turned to walk away but stopped at the door. “Oh, excuse me. You probably know me better as Mr. B. It was a pleasure meeting you, detective. A shame that this will be our first and last meeting. Marty, do what you came here to do and be quick about it. I’ll meet you back in Adria.”
36
I knew the chances of me getting out of this alive were close to zero - on a good day. I considered what I had done in my life and whether it was good enough. With the last few weeks taken into consideration, I decided that it would just have to be. I thought about Lily, Sugarplum, and all the other unfinished work. Shame I wouldn't get to close the case.
Marty and I sat there looking at each other for several minutes after Vash, aka Mr. B, had left. Seemed that as loyal as he was, he was still intent to toy with me, even if Mr. B had asked him not to. Marty enjoyed seeing me tremble and he would savor every second of it. While keeping my eyes on him, I slipped a letter opener out of a slight crack in my desk drawer and into my right paw. Marty was far beyond my weight class, so if I wanted to have even the tiniest chance of making it out with my breathing privileges still intact, I had to surprise him by acting first.
As soon as he stood up, I kicked my desk forward, right into him. The impact caused him to fall onto it and catch himself with his left paw. The moment his paw touched the desk, I jumped up and slammed the letter opener into his paw, pinning it to the desk. I wasted no time throwing several punches into his face, hopefully right where his jaw was broken recently. I nailed it. With a satisfying crack, I could hear Marty’s jaw break once again under my fist. After about three good punches, he pulled the letter opener out of his paw and hit me hard enough to send me flying against the back wall. I slammed against it so hard that my framed Rose Garden Estates ticket came crashing down, littering the surrounding floor with shattered glass. Seemed the pain just made him angrier.
He made his way over and picked me up by the scruff of my neck. I picked up a shard of the broken glass and stabbed it into his right forearm, which left both of us with nasty cuts. He dropped me, and when I landed on my feet I threw several more punches square into his gut. The effect was small, but it was something. He kicked me. I went sailing across the room again and into the other wall. I felt several of my ribs break. Even though I was doing better than I had any right to be, it still wasn’t going well. He approached me again, but this time I lunged toward him and sank my teeth into his paw. I felt small bones crack. He tried to shake me loose, but I held on and kept biting as hard as I could, the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth. He picked me up off the ground and carried me over to my desk, where he slammed my head repeatedly onto the top of it before dragging me across, knocking everything off onto the floor. My vision clouded like I was trying to wake up from a bad d
ream. If I passed out it would be over for me.
As I was about to go over the other end of the desk, I grabbed the handle of my drawer. I pulled it out with me as I sailed across the room. Its contents littered the floor, but luck was on my side. Marty saw me reaching for the electric baton on the floor and reacted quickly, trying to stop me. He ran over and gave me a swift kick to the head. My nose felt like it broke in fifty different places, but when I hit the wall for the third time, I was relieved to find I had somehow kept hold of the baton.
He came over and grabbed me around the neck, picking me up and slamming me against the wall. His face told me everything. It was the face of an assassin, intent on finishing the job. I struggled to find the switch on the baton as he was choking the life out of me. I found it, just as I felt as if I would pass out. I pressed the baton against his rib cage and turned it on. As the device crackled to life, he dropped me to the floor and I gasped for breath, grabbing every ounce of sweet, cold air I could. As we both struggled to get to our feet, I made it to my feet first, delivering two solid blows to his head with the baton. I didn’t have the strength in me to stay standing, much less hit him again.
