by Sue Limb
‘No way!’ said Morgan decisively. ‘They kicked Olly out of the team because he didn’t want to join in their moronic lifestyle. Beast dumped him. He’s such a prat.’ A soaring rocket of indignation suddenly shot through my insides. How dare she diss the adorable Beast?
‘Oh, really?’ I said icily. ‘I heard Oliver had dropped out himself because he couldn’t be bothered to turn up for training.’ Oliver flinched and blushed. ‘And didn’t even turn up for some of the matches,’ I added.
Morgan frowned and looked up at her beau. He managed to squeeze out a tiny ironical smile from somewhere.
‘There may be a grain of truth in that.’ He shrugged. ‘But what those guys don’t realise is, there’s more to life than rugby.’
‘They’ll be starting in a min,’ said Chloe, looking down the beach to where the teams were gathering.
‘Come on, Olly!’ commanded Morgan. ‘We’re going shopping.’ Oliver looked embarrassed at the word shopping. He clearly didn’t want us to think he was a big girl’s blouse. He and Morgan strolled off, and our little gang turned our faces to the wild wind again. Toby slid in beside me and gripped my arm.
‘Hang in there, Zoe, pet!’ he whispered. ‘I heard them having a row earlier. He’ll soon get tired of her, and he’ll realise how goddam perfect you are!’
‘No thanks, Toby!’ I shook my head. ‘I am so over that guy.’
‘Wow!’ said Fergus. ‘SomeFitGirlThough!’
‘Mmmm,’ agreed Toby. ‘Ten out of ten for sex appeal.’ The swine! He was supposed to say, ‘Oh, no, Ferg, she’s all cheap tricks, she can’t compete with Zoe!’ Toby still has a lot to learn.
The rugby had started when we arrived. It was brilliant, watching it with a backdrop of shining surf. We witnessed several bone-crunching tackles and saw the flying spit and heard the manly grunts.
I realised, with a thrill, that Beast was an ace performer. He could run really fast and he was muscular and strong. He scored two tries and at the end of the match he was lifted up shoulder high by his team, who carried him to the water’s edge and chucked him in the sea. I think it was some kind of sacrifice to the gods.
After the match, Beast and his mates seemed to be heading somewhere important: a shower block, presumably, because by now all of them were dripping with sea-water and lightly dusted with sodden sand.
‘It’s like a wet T-shirt competition,’ whispered Toby. ‘It’s almost enough to turn me gay!’
I’d half expected Beast to come over and talk to us, but he gave us a cheery wave and was clearly too busy with his mates. I felt a stupid disappointment that he was going away, even if it was only for twenty minutes. When you fall for somebody it really does turn you into a prize idiot. But it feels so delicious, you don’t give a damn, anyway.
Chloe started to play a game of tag and tickling with Toby and Ferg to prove that she hadn’t got a hangover. I wasn’t in the mood for tag and I dread tickling because, to me, tickling is the ultimate torture. I start to feel trapped and hysterical as if I’m going to faint or die. So I just went on walking by the waves and feeling kind of glamorous and deliciously alone like someone in a movie, and imagining how fabulous it would be if Beast was walking towards me.
Suddenly I realised that somebody was walking towards me, along the edge of the ocean, but it was Oliver. He was alone, too. Maybe he’d ditched Morgan big time, or maybe she’d just nipped into town to buy some extra, extra thick mascara to frame those gorgeous melting eyes. In some cheesy movie we would run in slow-motion towards each other and embrace in the surf, while the music of Beethoven or somebody throbbed away in the background.
But this wasn’t a movie and that wasn’t going to happen. Not if I had anything to do with it.
.
.
38
I stood and stared out to sea with my beady little rodent’s eyes, but I was kind of watching Oliver secretly, sideways, all the time he was coming towards me. I put my hands in my pockets to show how nonchalant I felt. My heart was thumping, but not in quite the same way as it used to. I wasn’t scared in case I made a fool of myself. I was scared in case he made a fool of himself.
As we met he gave a sort of theatrical start, as if he hadn’t seen me.
‘Oh, hi, Zoe,’ he said.
‘You missed a good match,’ I said.
He twitched in an odd kind of way. ‘Rugby doesn’t really do it for me, to be honest,’ he drawled.
‘Morgan is gorgeous!’ I enthused, suddenly changing the subject in another uncomfortable direction. Uncomfortable for him, that is. I felt weirdly, magnificently comfortable. I felt stronger with every second that passed. I had crossed some sort of divide between the old days when I was totally in his power, and the glorious present in which I suddenly felt I could say what I liked, and I didn’t care what he thought. ‘Where did you meet her?’
Oliver kind of winced and tilted his head on one side. ‘At a party …’ he said, pulling an unenthusiastic face as if he was describing his meeting with a rancid old dog. ‘Her dad owns a hotel, well, a string of hotels, in fact …’
‘Hey, terrific!’ I was teasing him relentlessly now. ‘You could inherit big time.’ Oliver went a bit pale, and moved the sand about with his feet. I’d always thought his awkwardness was touching, but now I began to realise it might be all an act to avoid taking responsibility for anything.
‘Oh no,’ he said. ‘It’s just … uhh … you know … I’m not sure really how … You know, uh, weird things happen.’ Then he gave me a strange look. A kind of anguished burning look as if to say, Morgan grabbed me when I wasn’t paying attention, otherwise I’d be at your side, you gorgeous pouting creature, Zoe Morris!
I understood every tiny detail of his look: he was asking me to keep up the adoration without giving anything back. Just keeping his options open. But I wasn’t having any! I stepped back slightly and gave him the most dazzling, ironical smile.
‘Well, I think Morgan’s just amazing!’ I grinned. ‘And I reckon you’re a very lucky guy! She seems totally besotted with you.’
He must have known I was taking the piss, but he seemed lost for words. He plainly hadn’t got used to the new, free, confident me – he was so expecting me to throw myself at his feet and lick his boots just like I always used to. Maybe he’d expected me to say, ‘Morgan’s a very lucky girl’, not the other way round.
‘Oh, I dunno …’ He shrugged, and gave me a sly smile – a last try to winkle some ego-boosting drivel out of me. But I refused to oblige. I was actually quite shocked that he hadn’t got the courtesy to accept compliments to his girlfriend, even if she was so clearly a demented slapper. He so should have said, ‘Yes, I’m really lucky.’ But instead all he could manage was a treacherous shrug.
I finally realised that despite the fact that he looked like a hero in a medieval fairy tale, he didn’t have a gallant bone in his body. Last night, when Chloe had sent out her cry for help, he’d just sat there in the cybercafe and let me go off on my own, into a goddam fight for goodness’ sake! If anybody was a medieval knight around here, it was me!
‘Well – gotta go – I’m visiting Tam in hospital in a min,’ I said. Oliver kind of flinched.
‘Oh yes! How is she? I heard she’d had her appendix out …’
‘Yeah. It all happened last night, right after the fight behind the silver door. It was some evening. Crisis after crisis.’ I gave him a hard look to indicate, And you didn’t lift a finger to help me.
‘Give her my – er, regards,’ said Oliver. ‘And say I hope she gets better soon.’
‘Sure,’ I replied. ‘Catch you later, OK?’ And I walked off. I have rarely felt so triumphant. I didn’t look back.
I walked over to where Chloe and Toby and Ferg were still wrestling in an idle sort of way, as if they were running out of steam.
‘So what did Oliver say?’ hissed Tobe. ‘Did he say, “I’ve ditched the slapper and I’ll be yours till the end of time, Queen of my Heart”?’
&nb
sp; ‘Yeah, something like that.’ I grinned. ‘And I told him he could take a running jump.’
‘Really?’ Chloe came up close and stared deep into my eyes.
‘Oliver,’ I announced, ‘sucks.’ There was an uncertain silence for a moment, and then they all cheered. ‘The only mystery,’ I added, ‘is why it took me so long to realise what he was really like.’
‘I never rated him,’ said Toby. ‘He kind of acts superior all the time.’
‘He’sFromAnotherPlanet!’ giggled Ferg.
‘OK, no more about Oliver!’ I insisted. ‘Too boring!’
‘Right,’ said Toby, ‘I’m going to spend the next couple of hours with a beautiful girl in bed.’
‘What?’ I gasped. But Tobe hadn’t got unexpectedly lucky. It was his way of saying he wanted to visit Tam in hospital. ‘It’s just an excuse to buy some lilies and grapes.’ He grinned.
I knew I’d be visiting Tam later, with my family, but I thought I’d send her a little message. I tore a page out of my notebook.
Hi, Tam! See you later. So sorry I didn’t realise you had the big A. Hope you’ll feel better soon. Loads and loads and loads of love, Z. xxx
I scribbled a little drawing of Tam in bed with a rabbit and a chick looking after her.
When Toby and Ferg had gone, Chloe and I strolled up and down the beach again. We couldn’t get enough of it. The wind whipped our hair about and made our cheeks tingle.
‘So you’re over Oliver, and I think I’m over Brendan,’ announced Chloe. ‘I had a weird kind of depression after he went off to Edinburgh, but now I realise he was just a stupid flirt.’
‘The fellow’s a frightful cad,’ I said in a 1940s film voice. We walked some more. The waves were crashing wonderfully. Surfers soared along then toppled into the foam. Chloe took my arm and squeezed it.
‘Are you sure about Oliver, though?’ she asked. ‘Morgan’s just a distraction; she’s so obviously wrong for him. Toby reckons he’s going to dump her by tomorrow.’
‘I don’t care if he never dumps her,’ I told her. ‘I realise now I’ve been going off him for ages. Every time I met him I felt kind of disappointed afterwards. I know he’s good-looking, but he just kind of can’t be bothered. I used to think he was divinely shy, but I realise now he’s actually just lazy. And vain. He likes being adored. And he’s always dissing other guys. Well, I’ve had it up to here with adoring. As far as I’m concerned, I hope they stay an item for ever, and that she makes him cringe every half hour for the rest of his life.’ I grinned.
‘Harsh,’ commented Chloe thoughtfully, ‘but maybe he deserves it.’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I wouldn’t go out with him if he was the last man left alive.’ The ironical echoes of this statement reverberated in my secret heart. If only Chloe knew how things had changed for me! Oliver was only half the story.
We walked along the beach some more, arm in arm. Eventually Beast and the guys appeared in clean togs and started playing some more beach games. My heart started to dance again. They waved. We waved back. But I just held on to Chloe’s arm and we went on walking.
As Chloe and I strolled up and down, I thought about the last time I’d used that phrase about not ever fancying somebody if he was ‘the last man alive’. It was only a few weeks since Beast had turned up out of the blue at my house, but it seemed like some freaky incident from a previous life. Beast fancying me and asking me out – and me getting in a rage and giving him several mouthfuls of abuse.
Now he seemed like a different person. What was going on in his mind? The memory of what I’d said to him tormented me. I had misjudged him totally. I had believed the rumours about Beast without bothering to get to know the real Harry Hawkins. And as a result, we were finished before we’d even had a chance to begin.
Did he ever think about that night? Did he assume I still hated him? Did he hate me for rejecting him so rudely? I had to find out what he thought of me. I had to try and put things right, to let him know how my feelings had changed. Maybe there was the tiniest hint of a chance for me. But I wouldn’t just need a brilliant strategy and a large slice of luck to turn things around. Frankly, I’d need a miracle.
.
.
39
Having walked up and down the beach a dozen times, Chloe and I decided to revisit our childhood and make a sandcastle. It was very stylish, but we disagreed about turrets. Basically Chloe wanted a fairytale sandcastle with lots of shells and pinnacles and I wanted a minimalist sandcastle with very smooth everything. We do vaguely plan to share a flat somewhere, one day, when we’ve finished our education, but I have a feeling it could cause a few rows.
Some time later my mum and dad appeared. They were arm in arm. My mum’s cheeks had gone pink in the wind, and she was wearing a French sailor-type outfit of white culottes and a stripy T-shirt. Dad was wearing shorts. Thank God they reached down to his knees, and were a plain cream colour. Mum tries to keep a tight rein on his mad clothes sense.
‘We couldn’t sleep much,’ said Mum. ‘It’s going to be better if we have a little nap this afternoon. My body clock’s all wrong because of driving down through the night.’
‘How’s Tam?’ I asked. ‘What’s the latest?’
‘She’s fine,’ said Dad. ‘She sent us a text. We’re going to see her later. She’ll be turning cartwheels again by tomorrow.’
Just then Beast and his team came jogging up. My heart gave a frenzied throb. I felt ridiculously nervous. He grinned at us, looking as if he was planning to run on by.
‘Oh!’ I spluttered, ‘That’s Beast Hawkins – the guy who called the ambulance!’
‘We must thank him,’ cried Mum eagerly.
‘Beast!’ I called. He came over. The rest of the guys jogged on. ‘Beast, uh … Harry,’ I said, blushing, ‘this is my mum and dad. They want to thank you for what you did yesterday.’
‘Hello there!’ said Beast, extending a hand to Mum and then to Dad. ‘I didn’t do anything. It was Zoe who told me Tam had a tummy ache.’
‘But you realised what was happening! You called the ambulance and everything!’ gushed Mum. ‘And you went with Tam to the hospital! That was so important!’
‘Honestly, anyone would have done the same,’ said Beast, looking embarrassed.
‘I’m going to give them merry hell at our local hospital back home about this,’ said Mum, seething. ‘Poor Tam had such a bad pain we had to call an ambulance, only a few weeks ago! She spent a night in there under observation! And they missed it completely!’
‘I think a grumbling appendix can be kind of hard to diagnose, sometimes,’ said Beast thoughtfully. ‘How is she now?’
‘Recovering,’ said Dad. ‘We’re going to visit her again at lunchtime.’
‘It must have been a bit of a nightmare,’ said Beast. ‘The drive down and everything.’
‘Oh, awful!’ agreed Mum. ‘I’ve never been so terrified in my life! She could have died!’
‘But you told me nobody ever died of appendicitis,’ I gasped, staring at Beast. He gave me a strange, awkward smile.
‘I didn’t want to worry you, Zoe,’ he said. ‘You had enough on your plate.’
‘Anyway,’ said Dad cheerily, ‘she’s going to be fine!’
‘Are you planning to stay around for a few days?’ asked Beast.
‘Yes!’ said Mum. ‘We’ve found a lovely flat up there!’ She pointed to the distant cliffs where Blue Ocean Flats were visible with their sparkling white walls and blue-painted window frames.
‘Awesome!’ commented Beast. ‘Must have great views!’
‘You must come up and have lunch with us one day or something.’ said Mum. ‘How about tomorrow? There’s a wonderful balcony.’
‘If you can spare the time,’ added Dad, ‘from your busy schedule saving lives.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m leaving today,’ said Beast regretfully. ‘I have to get back home. I start work again tomorrow morning.’
A horr
id little squeeze of disappointment passed through my insides. Beast was leaving today! And I wouldn’t see him again for ages.
‘What a shame,’ said Mum. ‘Oh well, have a good journey home.’
‘Thanks,’ said Beast with a courteous smile. ‘I hope Tam gets better soon.’ He didn’t look at me at all. ‘It’s been a pleasure meeting you.’
‘Thanks again for what you did,’ repeated Mum. ‘I don’t think we’ll ever be able to repay you.’
Beast backed off, smiling and putting up his hands to fend off any more gratitude. Then suddenly, for a split second, he looked at me. It pierced my heart.
‘Bye, Zoe,’ he said. ‘See you later.’ Then he jogged off.
‘What a charming young man,’ said Mum as we resumed our walk. ‘Such lovely manners! What’s his name again?’
‘Harry,’ I said. It sounded glamorous somehow.
‘Hmmm,’ added Dad, ‘he’s going to be a doctor, you said? Don’t let Mum get hold of his telephone number – she’ll be pestering him day and night about her aches and pains.’
They started laughing together about Mum’s hypochondria. Suddenly I recognised Oliver and Morgan walking towards us. They waved and walked on.
‘Who was that?’ asked Mum.
‘Oliver Wyatt and his girlfriend,’ I told her. ‘You know, he worked at the farm with us.’
‘Wasn’t he a heart-throb of yours once, Zoe?’ asked Dad. His memory can be inconveniently sharp sometimes.
‘Oh no, Dad,’ I said. ‘That was a different Oliver.’
After a while my parents went back to the flat to try and have another sleep. We promised to join them later and maybe visit Tam. But right now, Chloe and I wanted a little bit more sea and surf. We didn’t talk much. We just sat on the beach and stared at the waves.
‘Everything’s sorted now, isn’t it?’ mused Chloe happily. I was drawing circles in the sand. ‘We’re going to have a terrific time.’ I nodded. ‘You know we were saying that we’re independent now and we don’t need boys in our lives and they just mess everything up?’ Chloe went on. ‘Well, we’re still allowed to fancy them, aren’t we?’ She grinned impishly. ‘Because I tell you what – I’d give Dave Cheng eight out of ten for sex appeal, wouldn’t you?’
