by Maddie James
Gracie’s heart broke into pieces. She rushed to Izzie and gathered her close.
“Izzie,” she whispered. “It’s okay. I’m here.” She held the child close and rocked her. “It’s Gracie. Wake up honey, you’re having a bad dream.”
Besides breaking, her heart went out to the child. Her cries for her mommy were nearly Gracie’s undoing, and soon she found tears in her own eyes. She knew then, at that moment, that should she ever become a mommy, that nothing on this planet would keep her from seeing to her child’s every need or from being with her child when she needed her.
How Izzie’s mother could walk away from her only child for her career, she would never understand. As much as Gracie loved ballet, she’d always known that when her first child came along, her career would go on the back burner.
For that matter, she couldn’t understand how Izzie’s mother could walk out on Carson, either. She’d left her entire family. The thought was not plausible. All Gracie had ever wanted in her life, besides ballet, was a husband and a family. It was snatched away from her before she’d ever gotten it. Carson’s wife had had everything, and had casually walked away.
She’d never understand it.
“Gracie?” the child’s weakened voice came to her.
“Yes, honey. I’m here.”
“Hold me tighter.”
“I am Munchkin.” Gracie stroked damp stray hairs from Izzie’s temple. She’d never before used Carson’s nickname for Izzie but for some reason, it felt right. And maybe Izzie needed that familiarity right now.
“You okay?” she whispered a few moments later.
The girl nodded and snuggled closer. Gracie brought the blanket around them both and settled back against the pillows with her. “Bad dream,” Izzie said then.
“I’m sorry,” Gracie whispered. “I hope I made it go away.”
Izzie was quiet for a while. Her face was still in Gracie’s chest, so she couldn’t tell if the child was fully awake or not. After a minute, she nodded against her.
“It was my mommy. She kept running away.”
Gracie winced. She was beginning to despise Izzie’s mommy. “Maybe she didn’t see you.”
“She saw me. She kept running...and I kept running...I couldn’t catch her...and then she disappeared.”
Gracie held her tighter.
How symbolic, she thought.
“I wish you were my mommy,” Izzie said sleepily and yawned. “You wouldn’t run away, would you?”
Gracie couldn’t think of a response. There was no way she could ever go there, ever think anything remotely close to that or encourage the child to think that that could happen. Last thing she needed was Izzie thinking that the possibility that she could become her mommy, could exist.
Because it couldn’t.
“How about if I be your best friend,” she offered quietly. “Best friends don’t go away.”
Izzie must have been thinking about that. “Joey Brockman is my best friend.”
Gracie smiled. “How about if I be your best girl friend.”
She must have thought a little longer. “Okay,” she finally said.
Gracie snuggled further beneath the covers with Izzie. They were quiet for some time. Izzie’s breathing became slow and even and Gracie wondered if she’d gone back to sleep. She held her, thinking again about all that Izzie’s mother was missing out on.
“My mother is a famous actress, you know.”
Gracie had thought Izzie was asleep. “She is?”
“Yes. And someday she’ll come visit and take me to California where they make the movies.”
“She will?” It was hard for Gracie to follow Izzie’s irrational thinking. But then again, she was a child, and had woke from a restless sleep.
“Ummmhmmmm...”
“So you’d like to do that?”
Izzie nodded against her chest. “Uh-huh.”
“Bet your daddy would miss you.”
Izzie sighed. “Oh, he’d come, too. Someday, my daddy and my mommy will get married again.”
This time Gracie sighed. “Oh.” Try as she might, reminding herself that Izzie was practically talking in her sleep, Gracie still couldn’t stop the pang that pierced her stomach at that statement.
“Ummhmmm...”
“Really?”
“Yeah. My daddy told me...”
Izzie relaxed and very quickly, fell back to sleep. With the child wrapped up in her arms like a protective cocoon, Gracie was afraid to move, fearful she’d wake her again. She decided to stay put, her mind drifting over their conversation. Not wanting to think too much about Izzie’s mommy and daddy getting back together. Blessedly, all too quickly, she found herself drifting into sleep, the conversation just a myriad of thoughts meandering through her mind.
* * * *
When Carson stepped inside Izzie’s bedroom sometime later that evening, the scene which met him was not the one he’d expected. He’d expected to find a sleeping Izzie, sheets and covers all disarray, her head at the foot of the bed and her feet on her pillows, with Bandit tucked up under her chin asleep. That was Izzie’s normal sleeping position. Most nights he’d gently turn her around and tuck her in, only to find by morning that she’d somehow twisted herself back to the foot of the bed again.
But tonight—tonight he met with something entirely different. From out of nowhere, a huge lump formed in his throat and he was having a helluva time swallowing.
Gracie was there.
Tucked in beside of Izzie, their heads actually pillowed against the headboard, the sheets and covers neatly pulled up around them, Gracie slept with Izzie cradled in her arms. Izzie’s head rested on Gracie’s shoulder. The fingers of Gracie’s right hand were curled loosely against his daughter’s cheek as though she’d fallen asleep brushing wayward curls away from her face. Bandit and Claire slept wrapped around each other next to Izzie.
He had to chuckle at that.
Carson hated to wake any of them. It was after two a.m. and he was tired, too. His night had been a long one. The crowd downstairs had been loud, along with the music and the pinging of the arcade games. He had half a notion to shove the animals aside and curl up next to his daughter and the woman next door who had somehow invaded every single one of his thoughts the past few days.
He was sorely tempted.
But he wouldn’t do it.
Still, he didn’t want to leave. Careful not to wake them, he sat on the edge of the bed. His thigh grazed Gracie’s. The blanket covered her, but he could feel the sensation of her touch through the blanket and the warmth of her flesh.
He wanted to be next to her. That primal urge was boiling up from somewhere deep inside him and no matter how much he told himself that he didn’t want a relationship, that he didn’t need a woman in his life, the urge to share something with Gracie was almost more than he could fathom at the moment.
Watching her with Izzie this past weekend had been pleasant. Very pleasant. It was almost healing. At times, it reminded him of what he’d once had with Marci. It made him long for that again. But more than that, he reminded him of what he’d always wanted. Family.
But the scene before him was becoming too cozy, perhaps. Too much for Izzie to handle. Maybe too much for him to handle.
Although he liked Izzie spending time with Gracie, he was almost afraid she was spending too much time with their neighbor. What would happen if, for some reason, Gracie didn’t want to be in Izzie’s life any longer?
He frowned at the thought. For multiple reasons. Some he didn’t even want to explore or acknowledge.
Gracie sighed and he lifted his gaze to watch the even rise and fall of her chest. She was wearing the same nightshirt from some time back, he noticed. The one when Izzie had fallen down the stairs. Problem was, he also remembered exactly what she looked like with that nightshirt on, even though he could only see a small glimpse of it peeking out from beneath the covers.
Closing his eyes, he recalled the image before him a
s she’d stood on the steps that day. Painted toenails, long legs, and all.
He sighed and opened his eyes again.
Izzie whimpered and rolled away from Gracie. Her arms slack now, Gracie didn’t hamper the child’s movement. Izzie rolled closer to the animals. Bandit snorted and turned belly up; Claire remained still, an unmovable lump of softly snoring sleeping cat flesh.
Leaning over Gracie, Carson carefully attempted to reposition the covers over his daughter. She was out like a light. He tucked and moved closer to kiss her lightly on the cheek. Izzie whimpered again and he lingered there a second, watching his daughter’s slumber.
Slowly, he moved back to the side of the bed. A quick remembrance of several nights earlier raced through his mind as he continued to bring the covers up around Gracie. No use in her getting cold in the night either, he reasoned.
But he lingered there, as he’d done once before, so tempted to reach out and smooth babyfine hairs away from her temples, liked she’d done for his daughter some time earlier. Like he’d done a few nights ago for her.
Her breathing was even and shallow, her lips slightly parted. Suddenly, Carson’s thoughts were no longer on smoothing the hair away from her face, but on the softness of Gracie’s lips and how they might feel, once again, pressed against his.
And in the next instant, he found out.
* * * *
Gracie woke to a gentle wheezing in her ear.
Forcing one eye-lid open, she squinted as the morning sun shining through her window was filtered through something fuzzy and lumpy to her right.
Wait a minute, she thought. I don’t get the morning sun in my bedroom window.
Rising up on one elbow, she opened the other eye and glanced around her.
This wasn’t her room. This was Izzie’s room.
Ah...she remembered now. The nightmare.
But Izzie wasn’t still in bed with her. She was no where to be found. Claire, however, was still sleeping soundly beside her. Gracie was surprised that cat hadn’t woke her long ago wanting to be fed. Claire must have been the something fuzzy blocking some of the morning sun from her face a minute earlier. The wheezing something fuzzy.
Now how in the world did she end up sleeping here all night?
Falling back on a pillow, Gracie tried to recall the scene from the night before.
Izzie had screamed. She’d groggily rushed next door to see what was the matter. The child had had a nightmare involving her mother. And Gracie had fallen asleep wondering what kind of mother would leave a child like Izzie.
Yes, she did vaguely remember falling asleep in Izzie’s bed.
But then, there was something else, wasn’t there?
She closed her eyes, trying to recall.
A dream. Had to have been. She’d had a dream of her own.
But it wasn’t a nightmare, although it was quite confusing. And nice. Scary even. But still nice.
Sometime in the night, she’d dreamed Carson had kissed her. Again.
* * * *
“Gracie’s sleeping late.”
“No, we’re up early.”
“But she’s usually up by now.”
“How do you know that?”
“’Cause I hear her shower running while I’m still in bed every morning.”
Carson thought about that. The kid was perceptive. And she was right. He’d laid in bed on numerous occasions and heard Gracie’s shower running next door. Of course, he didn’t care to think for long about Gracie in the shower. Particularly after the stupid thing he’d done last night.
“Are we just going to leave her in my bed?”
Carson put Gracie’s half-eaten bowl of cereal down the garbage disposal. “Yes.” He ushered her toward the door, trying to ignore thoughts about Gracie in any bed. “We’ll leave her a note. You ready?”
Izzie stopped and placed her hands on her hips. “But what if she wakes up and is scared ‘cause she’s in a strange place.”
Carson signed. “Gracie is a big girl, Munchkin. She’ll be fine. Besides, Claire is with her. So grab Bandit and let’s go.”
Izzie planted herself into the carpet. “I don’t wanna.”
“But I wanna. We’ve got to get to Louisville. C’mon now.” He opened the front door and motioned her through the door.
“I am staying here with Gracie,” she told him.
“No. You’re coming with me. Remember, Kate is expecting you.”
“I know, but—”
“Don’t you want to see Kate?”
“Yes, but—”
“Then let’s get going.”
She shook her head. “No.”
Carson couldn’t believe his ears. His child was telling him no?
He glared at her. “Isabella, this isn’t up for negotiation. I have to be in Louisville in one hour. I’m already pushing it. Kate is expecting you for the day. Now, grab the pup and let’s vamoose.”
Izzie glared back at him. Slowly, she bent to pick up the dog, held him in her arms, looked hesitantly at her father, but still didn’t move. “I wanna stay with Gracie today.”
Hell. He didn’t have time for this. “You’re spending the day with Kate. You can spend time with Gracie some other time. Besides, Gracie has to work.”
“But she’s still in bed.”
“And we’re letting her sleep.”
“I’ll wake her and she’ll let me stay.”
“No, she was up late. We’ll let her sleep.”
“I was up late, too, but you didn’t let me sleep. I had a really bad nightmare.”
Carson huffed out a breath. Izzie had told him all about the nightmare during breakfast. The fact that it involved Marci might have something to do with his fowl mood. He was just glad, and thankful, that Gracie had been there for her. “That’s because Kate is expecting you.”
“Call her.”
“No.”
“Kate doesn’t braid my hair like Gracie.”
“Well, neither do I but you stay with me.”
“Kate makes chocolate milk funny.”
Carson eyed his daughter. “Let me guess. And Gracie makes it just right, right?”
“Yep.”
He shook his head and with every passing word, was getting more determined to get his daughter out of the house and back with Kate for the day. Izzie was definitely getting too dependent on Gracie. “Well, I’m sorry about that, but you’re going with me.”
“But Gracie lets me play with her jewelry and Kate never lets me do stuff like that.”
“I thought you didn’t like girlie stuff.”
“I don’t.”
“Then why?“
“I just like to.”
“Gracie—”
“No!
“But—”
“It’s only for the day, Iz.”
“Please, Daddy?”
“Isabella! I said no!”
Carson had raised his voice entirely too loudly and he was quite certain that he’d probably woke Gracie. Damn. He had to get the child out of the door before she stepped through the bedroom door.
Then Gracie stepped through the bedroom door.
“Why did you let me sleep?”
“Gracie!” Izzie ran toward her and wrapped her arms around her waist. Smiling groggily, Gracie enveloped the child in her arms.
“Good morning, Izzie. Guess I slept in your bed last night, huh?”
“Yeah.” The child was grinning from ear to ear. Carson didn’t like it.
“Izzie, c’mon. We have to go. Gracie, I’m sorry to leave so quickly, but I have an appointment this morning with my former law partner. A case we need to finish up. Gotta go.” He reached out to grasp Izzie’s arm.
She nodded, understanding. He wished she’d wrapped a sheet around her or something. That damned t-shirt was not what he needed to see this morning.
“Since Gracie’s up, I’ll just stay here, Dad.”
“No.” He gave Izzie the warning stare.
“Dad, don’t d
o that eye thing at me, okay?” she responded.
“I’m not doing the eye thing, Izzie.”
“Not that eye thing Dad, but the other one. The one where you try to look mean at me.”
Carson was just about tired of this whole ordeal. “Isabella, pick up the dog and let’s go. Now.”
“She can stay with me if you’d like, Carson. It’s not a problem.”
Oh yes, it is a problem. More than you know.
Carson shot his gaze to Gracie. Not her, too. Damned females. He blew out a breath. “Thank you, Gracie, but no. I’ve already made plans for Izzie today and quite frankly, this is one time she’s not going to get her way. So, please just let me take care of this, all right?”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized he’d spoken much to harshly. In the next instance, that observation was written all over her face.
“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of interfering,” she bit out.
Carson knew she was puzzled, maybe even angry, but right now he didn’t have time to think about it. Feeling even more guilty because he knew she’d help him out last night, he tried to shake off what he was feeling.
Later. He’d just have to deal with it later.
He looked to his daughter. “Izzie, now.”
Thankfully, she picked up Bandit, screwed her mouth into a tight little bow, knitted her brows, and stomped through the door and down the steps. He glanced behind her, then turned toward Gracie.
“I’m sorry. She’s was just being so—”
“It’s not a problem,” she told him sharply, shaking her head and waving him off. “Go. You’ll be late. I can see my way out.”
Carson hesitated, feeling that maybe he needed to say something else, then he decided to just let it be and left her standing there.
But at the door, her turned and faced Gracie again. “Thank you for watching her last night. And for being with her. Izzie told me about the nightmare.”
The look on Gracie’s face softened. “You’re welcome. I’m glad I was there.”
Carson nodded, realizing that once again, he wasn’t there when his daughter needed him. Seemed no matter what he did, he just couldn’t change that scenario.
