by Maddie James
“Well, you’re going to hear it, whether you want to or not.”
Gracie stood and walked to the fireplace, her back to Carson and her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m moving in a month. I’ve already found a place. I’ll be putting the building on the market next week unless you want to make me a deal. That’s all I want to talk about.”
There was silence behind her. A long, thorough silence. For a moment, she thought he might have left the room. Finally, she turned to see him staring into the floor, his elbows propped on his knees, his head in his hands.
When she turned to him, he looked up, too.
“Gracie,” he said softly, “we have to talk about what happened this week. We have to. Please let me explain.”
She felt her shoulders slump and fought hard to keep her resolve, but she supposed she needed to hear what he had to say.
“So tell me,” she whispered. It was all she could say.
“Please come here. I can’t talk to you standing way over there like that.” He reached out his hand but Gracie could only stare at it. She wanted to take it but was afraid with one touch, the shield she’d built around her heart would crumble and she’d fall into him and give it all up.
She couldn’t do that.
“I’ll sit over here.” She moved to the chair again, dismissing his hand. Carson dropped it and watched her until she was settled. “So tell me what you need to tell me,” she said, “but nothing you say is going to change my mind.”
Carson took a deep breath and peered into her eyes. It was all Gracie could do to keep her gaze connected with his; she wanted so much to glance away. “Marci was here for Izzie, Gracie, not me. I did it for my daughter. She wanted so badly to spend time with her mother.”
“You could have told me that,” she bit back quickly. It wasn’t that she didn’t know that already, it was that he’d simply not approached her with this knowledge. She knew how badly Izzie needed to see her mother.
“There wasn’t an opportunity. It all took me by surprise so damned quickly. I wasn’t prepared for Izzie’s reaction to Marci. I just couldn’t break the child’s heart...”
Gracie empathized with him. She knew that it was a difficult situation. She also knew that it would continue to be a difficult situation for a long, long time.
“Izzie needed her mother. I know that,” she confirmed.
“Then why did you leave? Why did you go without a word to me? Gracie, I’ve been crazy for the past few days worrying about you.”
His eyes pleaded with her. Gracie couldn’t look at them any longer. After a moment of staring off into the room, she turned back to him. “According to Izzie, you and Marci are perfect together. Perhaps that’s a child’s perspective and irrational, I don’t know, but it’s entirely possible that she’s right. The three of you looked like a family the other day. Izzie was beaming. It was apparent she was happy. I’ve never see her that happy.
“Carson, I decided to bow out for a few days. I decided that perhaps you and Izzie and Marci needed that time. It wasn’t a heroic act or anything special on my part; it was just what I felt needed to be done. Marci was obviously there and Izzie needed her. I didn’t need to be in the picture.”
“I needed you,” he returned softly, but he didn’t let her linger on that statement for long. “You’re right, though. Izzie did need and want Marci. But I didn’t. I was miserable and uncomfortable.”
“She stayed in your apartment.” She tried not to make it sound like an accusation, but was afraid she didn’t pull it off.
He nodded. “Yes, she stayed Sunday night. Izzie insisted, wouldn’t let her leave. She slept in Izzie’s bed with her. I couldn’t deny either of them that. Please don’t hold that against me. It was what I thought was right at the time. She didn’t stay any longer than that night. I insisted she get a motel room after that.”
Gracie closed her eyes and for a moment, wondered how she could have let things get so blown out of proportion. She knew Carson loved Izzie and would do anything for her. She also knew of Izzie’s infatuation with her mother.
But the fact remained that she’d made up her mind. None of that made a difference anymore. She was leaving and that was all there was to it.
“Marci left Thursday for California,” Carson said then. Gracie glanced sharply up at his words. “She didn’t say good-bye. She left a note on the door sometime in the night. Izzie had some crazy notion we were going to California with her. That we were all going to be a family. She thought we were getting married again. I told her those things were never going to happen.
“She’s devastated. Her heart is broken. Friday was a long day. Yesterday she was better. I’m hoping by today she will have forgotten most of it.”
Gracie’s heart was breaking for Izzie. It was the first thing she’d allowed herself to feel in days and it was damned hard for her to keep her emotions in check. “I’m sorry Izzie’s having a hard time. I wish I could—”
“I love you, Gracie. I want you to spend the rest of your life with me. With Izzie and me.”
She couldn’t sit there any longer. Abruptly, she stood and stepped back toward the mantel again. She couldn’t look at Carson. Couldn’t. She might just blow everything.
He loved her.
She couldn’t handle that. Not now.
“Spend the day with us. Just the day. Please do that for me.”
Gracie turned and looked into Carson’s face and almost told him she would. Something inside of her wanted her say, yes, another part of her was telling her to hold back with all her strength.
She shook her head no. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Carson. I don’t think we should spend anymore time together. Izzie has been through enough heartache this week. I’m leaving soon, I don’t want to add to her heartache.”
Carson looked deep into her eyes for a moment and then stood. “Well, you’re certainly adding to mine,” he said quietly. He stood for several minutes, watching her, as if he expected her to say something. Finally, he stepped closer. “You know, it’s a shame that you can’t face this head-on. You’re running again, you know, just like you did before. When you lost Evan and your dance career, you didn’t fight to get anything back, you ran away from it and for years you were afraid to try again. Now that you’ve tried, suddenly you’re afraid of what that might mean, and you’re running again.
“Don’t Gracie. Don’t give in to it. Sure, life dealt you a bad hand years ago. Don’t let it deal you another. This time you have the power to make things turn out differently.
“I’m alive and so is Izzie. We love you. And we’re not going anywhere. You’re the one who has the power to make it work. All you have to do is stick around. Be the first person in our lives to do that for us, okay? Be the first person in our lives to stay.”
In the next instant, he left her alone. And Gracie suddenly realized she didn’t like being alone any more.
* * * *
Carson let her be after that. Gracie didn’t open the shop. Instead, she cleaned closets and packed some things and cancelled orders and prepared for a final close-out sale scheduled for the end of the month.
There was no turning back. She was leaving.
She’d avoided Izzie as much as possible, hoping to make it easier on the child. She knew she didn’t understand, but Gracie knew in the end it would be easier this way.
Amie had tried to talk her out of leaving.
Constance and her cronies had attempted every trick in the book to get her to admit that she was in love with Carson. It didn’t work. None of it worked. She was glad when they finally left her alone.
Still, his words nagged at her. She knew he was right. She was running. Running fast and hard away from him. From love.
From life.
Just like she’d done all those years ago.
Thing was, the ball was rolling now and she didn’t know how to stop it. Even if she wanted, she wasn’t sure if she could.
It was Wednesday afternoon
when a small knock sounded on her apartment door and Gracie answered it. Izzie stood with a scowl on her face on the other side.
“Can I come in?” the child asked.
“May I?” Gracie corrected.
“I may?”
Gracie hesitated, smiled at her comeback, then let her. She’d avoided this all week.
Izzie stomped to the sofa and sat down, her arms crossed over her chest. “I’m mad,” she announced.
Puzzled, Gracie crossed the room and sat beside her on the sofa. “You want to tell me about it?”
“Sure do,” she proclaimed. “I’m mad at you.”
Gracie tried not to smile; Izzie’s face was screwed up into an awful expression. “Why are you mad at me, Izzie?”
“’Cause you been ‘noring us.”
“’Noring you?”
“Yes.”
“I have?”
“Yes.”
“And you don’t like that?”
“No. And neither does my dad.”
“Oh.”
“He’s been awful grouchy this week. That’s why I’m mad at you.”
“I’m sorry, Iz. I’ve just been busy.”
“And you left us last week. Where did you go?” Izzie turned her face up to Gracie’s then and her scowl suddenly turned to one of question.
“I...” Gracie wasn’t quite sure what to say. “I had some business to take care of.”
“You didn’t see my mom.”
“Yes. I saw her.”
“You didn’t meet her though.”
“No. I guess I didn’t.”
Izzie shook her head. “She didn’t like us much. She left us again. I don’t think my dad was happy when she was here. I don’t think my mom liked visiting us. I think I’ve decided that she should stay in California.”
It was a mouthful, and at the same time, Izzie’s words were full of so much meaning. Gracie wondered if Izzie really understood the significance of her own words. Thing was, Gracie understood it completely.
“Well, I gotta go now.”
Gracie smiled. “But you just got here.”
“I know. Got things to do.”
“Will you come back?”
“Maybe.”
“Well, bye then.”
“Bye!”
And then she was gone again.
Gracie contemplated her visitor for the next few hours. She ate a salad for dinner and had just settled in to read a while before bed, when another knock sounded at her door.
Again, Izzie stood at her threshold with Bandit tucked under one arm and a small package in her hand.
“I got something for you,” she told Gracie.
Thrusting the package forward, Izzie cocked her head to one side. “From me and my dad.”
Gracie crouched down on Izzie’s level and opened the package. Inside, she found two red construction paper hearts. In a childish scrawl was Carson’s name on one; Izzie’s on the other. Gracie took them out of the box and looked at Izzie.
“Turn them over,” Izzie said.
Gracie did. “We miss you,” was written in white crayon on the first one. “We love you,” was written on the second.
Gracie looked back at Izzie, trying to ignore the mist of tears that was glazing her eyes. “Did you make these?”
Izzie shrugged. “Yeah. It was all the paper we had at home. I guess maybe we could have bought a pretty card like what’s in your shop downstairs.”
Grinning, Gracie reached out and touched Izzie’s cheek. “No,” she whispered. “These are perfect.” Her eyes were beginning to spill over now and something funny was happening with her heart.
“There’s more,” Izzie told her then, not giving Gracie much time to think about her gift of two hearts.
She reached into her pocket and pulled out another box, a smaller one, then thrust it to Gracie, too. Bandit struggled in her arm; she let the pup down on the floor. Claire sauntered out the door and the pup chased her down the stairs with a yip and a high-pitched growl.
Suddenly, things seemed back to normal.
Hesitantly, she reached for the box and slowly untied the ribbon. “I can’t imagine what this is,” she said softly.
“It’s better than our two hearts,” Izzie proclaimed.
Gracie didn’t think anything would be better than getting their two hearts for a gift.
As she lifted the lid on the box, she barely noticed the shadow moving up behind Izzie until Carson crouched down beside the child. She looked at him just as the lid flipped back and the diamond ring sitting inside shone back at her.
“It’s a ring,” Izzie announced. “Better than our dumb hearts, huh?”
Gracie looked into Carson’s eyes. “I think your hearts aren’t dumb, Izzie. I love both your hearts.”
Carson grinned, and she saw the relief wash over his face, followed by an expression of pure love. After a moment, Gracie allowed herself to grin, too.
“My dad wants you to marry us,” Izzie said. “That’s why he gave you the ring.” She crowded in between the two adults and sat on Carson’s knee. Gracie was still having a hard time taking her eyes off Carson’s face. She loved him so, and for the first time, she wasn’t afraid to admit it.
“So will you just marry us?” Izzie questioned impatiently.
“Yes. Marry us,” Carson whispered. “Please don’t leave us. Marry us.”
“Dad says if you marry us, we will be a family.”
Gracie looked at Izzie. How she loved that child, too. “Yes, I suppose we would.”
“He says that maybe even someday, we could have a little sister or brother for me. That is, of course, if you decide to marry us.”
It was at that moment Gracie knew her resolve had melted and was about to stream down her face. Through a veil of tears, she looked at Carson. “Izzie, what else does your daddy say?”
But Izzie didn’t answer, Carson did, when he leaned forward and captured her lips with his for a sweet and heartfelt kiss. “He says, he wants you to marry us quickly, so we can get started on that baby brother or sister real soon,” he whispered into her ear. “Please don’t leave us, Gracie. I love you. Izzie loves you. We need you in our lives.”
Gracie pulled away and looked at both Izzie and Carson. “How could I leave,” she finally said, looking down at the gifts in her hands, “when I’m holding your two hearts in my hand?”
Izzie fell off Carson’s knee when he leaned forward to take Gracie in his arms, then kissed her thoroughly one more time.
“You didn’t say yes,” he finally told her between kisses.
“Yes. Yes, I’ll stay. I’ll marry you,” Gracie replied, kissing him back. “I’ll marry the both of you.”
Izzie crowded closer, her arms around the two of them. “Oooh, yuck,” she interjected. “Lovie-dovie stuff.”
“Get used to it, Munchkin,” Carson told his daughter between nibbles of Gracie’s lips. “Get used to it.”
Izzie kissed them both on the cheek and drew back, looking longingly into Gracie’s apartment. “If you guys are gonna do this yucky kissy stuff, mind if I take a bubble bath in your tub, Gracie? Will you bring me the fake champagne in a minute?”
Laughing, Gracie told her to go for it. In a whirlwind, Izzie raced through her apartment, dropping articles of clothing all the way.
“Take all the time you want, Izzie,” Gracie called out after her.
“My name is Isabella!”
“I think my tomboy is gone,” Carson told her, grinning.
Gracie shrugged. “Naw. She’ll always be there, deep down inside.”
“I think I’m gonna miss her.”
“No you won’t, not for long. I have plans for you mister, and it has something to do with this incessant ticking clock in my head. I need you to silence it. Immediately.”
Gracie smiled at the puzzled expression on Carson’s face but just figured she tell him about it all later. Much later. When Izzie was tucked into bed for the night and she and Carson could have
the bubble bath all to themselves.
Let it not be said that the local Diva of Romance didn’t know how to properly seduce the father of her future children.
The End
More Maddie James titles coming soon
from Turquoise Morning Press
www.maddiejames.net
Crazy for You
The Heartbreaker
New Man in Town
Out of her League
One Wild Ride
Coming throughout 2011
www.turquoisemorningpress.com
Table of Contents
Falling for Grace
