A laugh sits on my chest, but my anger burns it away.
“You don’t get it.” My hands go wild, swinging from side-to-side. “She just keeps pushing and pushing for us to be together. There is no doubt she’s planning everything for the future. And I mean everything. And it just makes me so angry because she just can’t do this. What if you don’t even want me? What if no one does? She shouldn’t be allowed to do this and drag you into it. I care so much for you, but she’s being such an insane person, and I’m scared you’ll want to leave me,” I rant, gasping for breath at the end. I close my eyes, taking a few steps back to clear my mind.
“Liv, you should take a breath—” he says worriedly.
“I can’t. I’m trying, but she’s just driving me insane!” I admit, clutching my hair.
“Do you feel like you’re on fire right now?” he questions, eyebrows raised.
What does that have to do with anything?
“Yes, what kind of question is—Noah!” I gasp as I am pushed back and free-fall into the water. I quickly catch some breath before I submerge and pinch my nose closed. I watch as Noah dives in and grasps my waist, pulling me to the surface. When I emerge, my ears pop, and I gasp frantically for air. “What the crap, Noah!” I smack his shoulder, but he’s just smiling from ear to ear.
“What? You said you felt like you were on fire!” He defends himself like the maniac he’s being.
“So you push me into the pool knowing I can’t swim?” I screech.
“I can be insane,” he exclaims, and I’m speechless by his raspy voice, eyes glistening, jaw sharp from his open smile. “I get it from my mother. I literally just told you that. Do you not listen to me when I speak?” I roll my eyes, and he laughs more broadly, lifting my chin up. “I’ll gladly distract you from your insane mother, if you want.”
A memory of Grey saying the same thing pops into my head, and my breath becomes shallow as I remember how he accomplished that…
“I’d love that,” I say breathlessly, and his dimples sink into his cheeks like plush-cushion pillows. “Thank you.” I lean forward and kiss his nose. Then I pull back and look around. “Gross, we’re still in our clothes…and shoes!” I clench my feet around his waist, looking down at my see-through chest and my tennis skirt rising up. I can’t be any more on fire right now.
He laughs at my expense but swims us over to the edge anyway. I climb out, feeling like a billion pounds are on my back. I consciously undress into my underwear, so relieved I’m wearing matching pink underwear and bra. But when I look over my shoulder and look at Noah, I turn the color of his briefs that does his…um, manhood justice. I quickly look away from his rows of abs and sit at the edge of the pool. He jumps in and pulls me in; I am held up in his arms, and I become an even deeper shade of shameful.
“Ready to swim, buttercup?” His dimples and little smile are going to be my personal torture.
“Readier than ever.” I smile back just as brightly, I hope.
Ten minutes later and I am flailing like a fish out of water, ironically, and he’s laughing at me.
“It’s not funny, Noah! I can’t swim. It’s just not possible.” I pout, and he pokes my nose to piss me off. I bite his finger, and he groans and swims backward until his back hits the artsy tiles.
“Maybe you just need some motivation,” he says, and I hold my breath. His eyes are glued to my lips…then they meet mine, and his lips slide to the right.
“Maybe…” I whisper and glance at his reddish lips.
He closes the inch gap I didn’t even notice and kisses me. I wrap my arms around his neck and thread my fingers through his hair. He presses one hand on the wall behind me and cups the lower part of my back with the other. He tastes sickly sweet and his tongue still feels foreign, but over time it will become second nature and I will feel something. But at the moment, I am only feeling the coolness of the tiles on my back and his large hand.
A singing ringtone halts our little make out.
“I think that’s me.” I smile apologetically, and he nods. The smile drops, and I answer the phone, the guilt weighing on my shoulder as Jaimie talks. And no matter how much I try, I can’t really understand what she is saying. All I can focus on is the hopeful, wide smile on the boy who genuinely likes me and how I felt nothing when he kissed me with everything he had.
Chapter Seven
Julia’s birthday is Saturday, which is in three days, but Jaimie wants to throw her a surprise party before the day actually arrives. She wants it at a really popular club. She says then it’ll really be a surprise. I think it’s sweet, and I would have loved to help her plan it, but she says my sense of fashion would slow her down, which is in no way offensive in her eyes. However, I couldn’t just sit back and let her make little changes, since she’s already begun planning two weeks in advance. I find it amazing and frightening how well she kept the party a secret for so long, especially since she knew she was going to come to Miami.
She acts the same way Julia acted when she planned Jaimie’s surprise party. I think it’s adorable as heck. Well, her planning a party for her girlfriend. Not the freaking out and screaming at the workers who are helping set up the venue. I helped the workers who got the brunt of her demands. I understand why she is so high-strung, though. She wants the absolute best for her girlfriend. I just wish I could have a partner as dedicated to making me happy like her. And a relationship where my heart isn’t on the chopping block or where my mother has inserted herself so much, it feels like I am being suffocated.
I inhale deeply and pause in spreading the white cloth over a tall table. I have to clear my mind because I’m trying to help Jaimie. I exhale heavily and continue to cover the tables. After I finished laying down all the cloths, I placed golden sparklers on each table. When Julia wanders in, they will all be set ablaze and confetti will pop from basically every single direction. I think it’s a little too much, but I wouldn’t ever tell Jaimie that. She is allowed to go all out and do whatever to please her girlfriend. Even if it means the chance of inhaling pieces of shiny paper or having my hair set on fire is extremely high.
“Wow, you really went all out…” I muse as I look over Jaimie’s shoulder. A pair of big brown eyes covered in black eyeliner stare back at me…in the form of icing. That’s right, Jaimie’s ordered a huge cake that resembles Julia, leather jacket, eyeliner, brooding expression, and all.
“Thank you,” she says with a smile.
“Wasn’t really a compliment,” I mutter.
“Can you help me move it to the center?” she asks.
“Sure.” I help her move the cake that no doubt weighs one hundred pounds. “Couldn’t you have gone with a normal cake?” I ask, out of breath after the cake is set on the round table.
“Um, no,” she scoffs incredulously. “My baby is the best, and she deserves the best.” Her head tilts back, and a warm smile lightens her features as she beams up at the cake. “And nothing less.”
I shrug and stand behind her, staring up at the cake. “I guess it is kind of awesome. Kind of scary too…but still awesome. She’s gonna love it.”
“Duh, of course she’s going to love it.” She flashes her hair over her shoulder while giving me a cocky wink. “If you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty fucking awesome.”
“Whatever you say.” I playfully shrug, and she glares at me. “Kidding, kidding! Look around. You did all of this by yourself.”
She looks around with a resigned sigh as she twirls a lock of her dark hair. “You’re right…I am so getting some tonight.” She bites her lip as she zones out into whatever creepy sexual fantasy has sparked her interest.
“And that’s my cue to leave.” I sneak away as she really starts diving deep into her subconscious, making weird faces. I slink off into one of the dark corners with purple velvet couches and sink into one of them. I’m going to give Jaimie a little time to snap back into reality. But in the meantime, I pull out my phone and frown at the two missed calls and one text f
rom Noah, all asking if I’m okay, since I left him in the pool so abruptly.
Noah is honestly the best person, and he doesn’t deserve this. We were in the middle of some pretty intense, intimate kissing, then I just got up and practically ran out of there. And all because I didn’t feel anything from a kiss. A kiss! Who cares if I didn’t feel a drop of desire when my lips touched his? You didn’t have to feel the heavens move or explosions inside of your stomach every time you kiss a guy…right?
Even after dating Grey, I’m still horribly inexperienced when it comes to relationships and feelings that come along with it, which is insane since he and I felt so right, so perfect, like we were making up our own rules as we went along. Or maybe the all-consuming feeling of pure bliss and darkness and perfection was the standard, and I’m just not going to ever feel them with Noah. Or I will feel the same as I did with Grey with another guy, just not Noah…?
I don’t know, but I’m getting a headache the harder I think.
Luckily, the vibrating of my phone snaps me out of my muddled thoughts.
I hesitate when reading the screen.
“Hello?” I bite my lip and nervously shake my leg, awaiting the person to reply.
“Liv…” Rose gulps, “I need your help…”
***
A few hours later, I have switched out my tennis skirt for a pair of skinny jeans, black booties, and a lavender tube top. To be safe in case it becomes chilly tonight when I leave the club, I pair the outfit with a jean jacket and wrap my hair up in a bun with bangs.
I look around the packed club. There is a surging crowd of people on the multi-colored light-up floor that grows with each new group of friends that heard about the party online. I feel as though I’m going deaf with the loud music playing. I wish I had bought some earplugs so I could drown this out. I am half-tempted to take my Coke and hide in the bathroom. And I wouldn’t even care about how unsanitary sitting on a toilet of a club is, as long as I could have some peace and quiet.
Julia came in about a half hour ago, and true to my prediction, I almost had my hair set on fire and I am almost positive I swallowed confetti.
Now, I’m waiting for someone.
“Liv!” I swivel my eyes all around and barely make out Rose’s raging red hair as she emerges from the crowd. She breaks into what I think is a smile of relief as she nears the bar.
“Rose.” I return her warm smile and stand. She wraps her thin arms around me, and I laugh uneasily before wrapping my arms around her, returning her hug. For a few seconds, we stay like this, until she backs up and stares at me with misty eyes. “What’s wrong?” I pull her down to sit at the bar.
“Nothing, I just…” She sniffles and grabs a napkin from a stack on the bar. I watch as she dabs under her eyeliner, then croaks, “Grey…he’s been such an asshole lately.”
“That’s kind of his thing,” I joke lightly, and she smiles sheepishly. “Sorry.” I gulp and flicker my eyes away, but she grips my arm. I look back as she waves her other hand dismissively, sniffling some more.
“It isn’t your fault…much.” Her eyes drift to the floor.
“I’m sorry, but what did I do?” I try and succeed in catching her eyes.
“Isn’t it obvious?” she scoffs, rolling her eyes as if I’m the most oblivious creature on the planet. “He’s in love with you, Liv. And I don’t think he ever really stopped.” She stops talking, and while I try to swallow her words, she sniffles hard and cries, “I tried, I really did, to give him another chance. For us to be together. But I can’t, not when he’s still so hung up on you.”
I am at a loss for words.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause you harm, Rose.” My voice sounds as I feel, weak and deflated.
“Oh, it’s not your fault.” She wipes under her nose and tries a grin, but it lacks a solid foundation and wobbles a little. “Look at me, crying in the club. Am I a song cliché or what?” She laughs, and I join her.
“How about you forget about Grey, and drink?” I suggest, and her blue eyes light up.
“I’d love that!” She shrugs off her jean jacket, revealing a red blouse. She orders a line of shots for what I assume is also for me.
I feel the harshest gutting feeling ever of guilt. Like always, Grey has changed his mind in the flash of an eye and now wants me again, but he’s hurting Rose in the process. I am not okay with it at all. I’m trying my absolute best to move on, and he isn’t helping by doing things like this. It pisses me off, and I make a mental note to confront him and tell him to treat Rose better and give her what she deserves the next time I see him.
Which, I hope, isn’t soon…because my guy is coming toward me right now.
“Are you done having girly time yet?” Noah groans into my neck, arms coiled around my waist. His lips brush against my skin, and it tingles. I thank the heavens for some kind of response. I take it in stride and break into a grin. But then I glance at Rose, who is smiling at me almost forcibly, like she’s dying on the inside, seeing me happy with another guy while the one she wants, wants me. I feel horrible for flashing him in front of her.
“No, I’m not.” I pull him away from me. “Noah, you remember Rose, right?”
He nods, green eyes pinched contemplatively. “From that hella awkward dinner?”
She laughs, cheeks flushed pink. “Unfortunately, yes. It’s nice to see you again.” She outstretches her hand, and they shake hands.
“Eight shots,” the bartender with multiple face piercings and a bored look announces, pushing the drinks to us.
“I’ll chip in.” I begin to dig into my purse, but Rose puts a hand on my wrist and hands the man money. He walks away before I can even grab my wallet.
“There’s no need,” she says, pushing four of the drinks to me.
“But I could have helped with that,” I say and quickly add, “I’ll get the next one, whenever that shall be.”
“Whenever that shall be, it is.” She raises a glass and winks at me.
I laugh and try to hand Noah one of the glasses, but he says he isn’t down for drinking tonight. “But it’s a party. Come on, Wells,” I tease him, brushing my shoulder against his.
“I’m the designated driver, remember?” he reminds me.
“Fine.” I turn to Rose and raise the glasses. “Here’s to a night of fun and celebration!”
“Celebration!” we holler before we knock back the shots of tequila.
I make up my face as the sting buzzes behind my tongue. She and I divide the rest of the drinks between us, then slide onto the dance floor, finding our group that consists of Mason, Mateo, Julia, Jaimie, and Charlotte. They’re all eating pieces of Julia and dancing around. I cut a piece for myself, and I have to hand it to Jaimie: the cake is pretty good.
I take Rose’s hands and dance around, Noah holding onto me from the back. My head feels woozy, and the floors look like part of those dancing games, and I go for the high score. She seems to notice the game too, because her feet are going everywhere, and she bumps into me. Noah laughs and wraps his arms around the both of us. I wiggle my butt against him and giggle as his eyes grow dark. Rose laughs, her hand thrown against her lips as we stumble trying to hop around. I think I take my jacket off because I feel so hot in the midst of a hundred people all moving around.
I am so gone, but I instantly know something is wrong when Rose stops dancing and stares over my shoulder like she sees a ghost.
“What is it?” I feel like I know before I even turn around.
Dean, Grey, and a few other intimidatingly large guys are entering the club.
What the hell is he doing here…and after what he did to Rose?
My blood feels like it’s been set on fire, and I grind my teeth together.
“I’ll be right back.” I take a step toward them, but Noah takes my hand.
“Where are you going?” He doesn’t see them, and I don’t want him to. I have to confront Grey, and I won’t be able to with him lingering over me, with
the chance of them breaking into a fight because of testosterone and whatnot.
“I’m going to the bathroom,” I lie.
“Hurry back,” he says, and I return his nod.
“Don’t,” Rose warns, taking my other hand.
“I’ll be fine,” I say with a drunken smile, pulling my hands into my chest. “I’m the Grey Whisperer.” I give her what I hope is a discreet wink, then push away from the group. I weave through the crowd, eyes zoned in on Grey, who is looking around. I bet he doesn’t even know he’s crashing the party. Well, I’m going to inform him right now.
As if sensing me before I can even get to him, his eyes flicker to mine. “Liv?” he questions.
“Looks like Blue’s had too much to drink,” Dean jests with an annoying smirk, standing in my way of the giant with no freaking emotions.
“Outta my way,” I slur and push past him.
He laughs and steps back, cocking his head at me with an undecipherable expression. Weirdo.
“Liv, what are you doing?” he asks me, like I’m not allowed to be near him. I don’t want to be near this talking tree that is a big meanie; I just want to tell him off for hurting my friend with good-smelling hair and oceans for eyes.
“I…am telling you off, mister,” I snarl. He doesn’t look impressed, so I snarl a little more and add a little more toughness by jabbing a finger at his chest. “You keep fucking with me. Telling me you hate me one second…then you want me. Then…you don’t like me.” I press my palms against his hard chest, nearly melt and moan, then push away, finding my point for this, bringing myself back into his warm chest and, again, almost moan because he is sooooo soft. Jesus! “Then you want me…then no! ‘Go ’way! No, Liv, you’re horrible! You blah, blah, blah’—pick a fucking emotion, dude! You’re hurting my heart…” I mumble, tears bundling in my eyes, then sniffle and add with a little finger wave, “And Rose’s, too. And she is a precious flower who deserves…much betterrrr.” I drag out the word and nod affirmatively, placing my hands on my hips.
Grey: The Reconnection (Spectrum Series Book 4) Page 5
