“I told you it was my friend’s car,” he said with an easy smile. “I had to get that thing detailed and fumigated before I could return it to my boss.”
Her eyes widened in horror. “It was your boss’s car?” She saw the grin on his face and they both started laughing as he helped her into the car.
As they pulled away, he glanced at her outfit. “I like your…shoes,” he said, sticking with a safe compliment. “Are you hungry?”
“Seriously? Didn’t we just come from a fundraiser where the plates cost more than I earned all last year?” She looked at him incredulously.
Tossing a grin at her, he nodded. “Yes, but did you notice how much of those plates we could see? I’m starving!”
Amanda chuckled. “I was able to eat my entire piece of salmon in three bites,” she grinned back at him, forgetting that she was supposed to be mad at him. “So, yes, I am pretty hungry.”
Jackson pointed the car toward a local fast food joint, where they pulled up to the window and ordered burgers, fries and icy colas. “Okay, now that we’ve got food, give me your address and I’ll drop you off,” he said.
Her smile died and she remembered he wasn’t her date. Clarissa. Ugh. She spouted off the address for her tiny place but didn’t notice the way his mouth tightened. This new location wasn’t much better than her previous one, and in his opinion, still much too close to Billy for his liking.
She was silent for the next few minutes as he maneuvered through the late evening traffic. Wrapping up her last few bites of cheeseburger, she licked the salt off her fingers before settling back to enjoy what was left of her coke. She hadn’t eaten this good since…since Jackson’s mom made breakfast for me.
As they pulled up to the building where her apartment was located, Jackson noticed the holes in the window screens and the run down appearance of the entire area. However, he didn’t notice any street girls, just a couple of homeless guys. Still, he wasn’t comfortable leaving her there.
Jackson parked the car but left it on, the radio playing softly in the background. “Amanda, we need to talk,” he said.
“I know you are set on living this lifestyle and I can’t force you to change,” he began. He was facing her now, the burned out streetlight casting a shadow on his profile. He looked dark and dangerous and she felt even more drawn to him.
“But that’s just it,” Amanda protested. “You don’t really know me at all. I don’t plan on hooking anymore and I don’t want to be in the escort business forever either! I’m saving up to get a chance at a movie script, an extra, whatever. That’s why I came out here in the first place!”
Jackson sat back a bit, not knowing how to respond. “Where are you from?” He’d never even considered that she wasn’t from L.A., so her answer really shocked him.
“Iowa,” she said simply. “A small, one-horse town in Iowa. I just wanted to get out. God, I felt like I was suffocating there, and my parents didn’t understand or they didn’t care. I finally had it out with them, and that was that. I got on a bus and ended up here. End of story.”
Her abrupt ending tipped him off that there was more to her story, but he didn’t push her for fear that she would just clam up again. He remained silent, but when she said nothing else, he said the next thing that came to mind: “I’m really glad you did come here,” his voice husky. Where did that come from, Jack? Gather your wits, because they’re all over the place and you need them right now.
The air had changed in the car. Tension sparked between them and they were now facing each other, their knees touching. He felt scorched and he was afraid he was getting too close to the fire again. Shifting nervously, he attempted to move so they weren’t touching.
Amanda had a different goal in mind. She liked the nervous tension. She was use to it and she felt safe with him, which turned her on even more. Her breathing shallowed as she leaned slightly toward him, waiting for him to close the gap.
She smiled with satisfaction when she felt Jackson twirling a loose curl around his finger. She was certain he didn’t even realize he was touching her like that, but it sent a shiver down her bareback. He seemed mesmerized. Pressing her advantage, she leaned closer, curling her hand around his neck.
“Jack,” she murmured. “Thanks for taking care of me, even when I fight you on it.” Her voice was husky, drawing him within a whisper of her kiss.
“You’re so damn hot,” she said, and then she captured his lips in a feathery kiss that jolted her all the way to her toes.
Jackson knew he should pull away, that it was wrong, but it felt so right. Her lips felt like home, and his brains were zapped, which might’ve explained why he sank deeper into the kiss instead of collecting his sanity and moving away. His hands were in her hair, pins everywhere as he pulled her against him. Jack. Jaaack. He heard the whisper in the back of his mind, but he was already past reason as he groaned against her mouth.
Amanda was fighting to keep from ripping his shirt off while at the same time feeling like her limbs were made of jelly. She’d heard people talk about bombs and rockets going off when they kissed the one, but she’d never believed it until now. She never wanted him to stop and he didn’t show any signs of backing off.
Her hands made their way under his jacket to help him remove it while he pushed her farther back until his body was pinning hers into the seat. No one would think twice about a couple fogging up the windows in this area of town.
They were in their own little world as Jackson fisted one hand in her hair, freeing the other hand to slide across her stomach.
Chapter 14
Jackson’s hand snapped back like it had been burned. His head came up at the same time and he looked at Amanda. Her dreamy expression paired with her heavy breathing was enough to bring him back to reality.
He pulled his hand out of her hair and moved back to his side of the car, saying nothing.
“What’s the problem, Jack?” Amanda sat up, her eyes sharpening as she watched him struggle. She made no effort to straighten her clothing as she watched him.
Inwardly, Jackson’s struggle was a whole lot worse. He wanted to go back to her soft lips and feel her tight body up against his, but he knew he’d already made a huge mistake. Looking down at her stomach, he suddenly realized her abortion had saved him from one of the biggest mistakes of his life.
Touching the soft skin there had reminded him of what she’d done, and he had yet to come to grips with her decision. Besides the fact that she did not even half-heartedly proclaim to follow Christ, he had no business taking advantage of her this way.
Amanda was a desirable young woman and he definitely felt a spark with her, but he’d crossed, no, make that jumped over the lines he’d drawn in his relationship with Clarissa. Clarissa never pushed you on it either, Jackson told himself. But that was no excuse. He’d drawn those lines with God in mind, and he’d managed to stay on the right side of them for 26 years.
And tonight, one simple woman, albeit a very sexy and gorgeous woman, had caused him to abandon the lines and his principles. He’d enjoyed his sin, despite hearing that warning voice.
How many times had Harry warned him and others on staff that the biggest mistake a man in ministry could make these days was to be alone with a woman who was not his wife? Apparently, so many times you stopped really listening to him, Jackson told himself.
All of those thoughts passed through his mind quickly, while Amanda still just stared at him in silence; her breathing slowing down while her expression remained stony.
“What’s your problem, Jack?” She whispered the words again, but they were a cold whisper, barely controlled.
Jackson looked at Amanda, her messy hair making her even more attractive. Twin feelings of desire and anger flowed through him. Desire for her, because he had been the one to mess up that perfectly pinned hair. Anger towards himself, because he’d taken advantage of her and crossed his boundaries.
“Amanda, I cannot even begin to tell you,” he started,
but she threw her hands up and cut him off.
“If you’re about to apologize for what just happened, then you can shove it up your ass, because I’m not sorry,” she said icily. “We both know you’ve been wanting to do that since we first met.”
“Okay, Amanda, yes, I am attracted to you, but that doesn’t mean I am free to act on it,” Jackson said.
“Oh you mean because of Clarissa?” Amanda raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I can tell you are very committed to her.” Her sarcasm was not lost on Jackson.
“No, not because of Clarissa,” he continued. “Or not just because of her.”
“Well then, what’s the problem?” she asked again. “We’re two consenting adults and we can do what and who we want. It’s not like you’re married to her and besides, it wouldn’t be the first married guy I’ve slept with.”
“No, it’s not like that for me,” Jackson said. “I made a promise to myself and God that I would wait for my wife.” He reached over, pulling her strap back onto her shoulder.
“Wait for your wife? What does that—oh my God, you mean to tell me you’ve never had sex before? Are you kidding me?” She laughed at him. “Well, it doesn’t matter, I’d still sleep with you and I’d be happy to show you any of the tricks of my trade, Jack.” She leaned closer to him, but he put out his hand to stop her.
“Amanda, I want what I have with my wife to be special and not something I’ve already shared with a bunch of other women,” Jackson said. “Or even one other woman.” He said this last line while looking directly at her. “No matter how tempting it is, I really don’t want to cross those lines I put up, and I did that tonight. For that, I apologize to you. Please forgive me for just using you like that.”
“How could it be wrong, I mean, you enjoyed it, right?” She was curious now instead of angry. He could be so endearing, and she had no idea how he managed it, but suddenly she was feeling sorry for him. He was obviously upset over what he’d done, but she didn’t understand.
“Amanda, seriously? You really have to have an answer to that question?” Jackson cleared his throat. “The fact that I nearly tore your clothes off in the front seat of my car in a public place wasn’t enough to convince you how much I was enjoying it?”
“Jack, you forget, I’m use to that,” Amanda sighed. “That comes with the job.”
“But Amanda, just because you allow other men to treat you that way does not give me a pass to treat you like that too, just using you because it feels good,” Jackson said quietly.
Amanda’s frustration returned, but Jackson continued. “Plus, I would lose my job for sure if I went to bed with you.”
She loved his cute terminology, but she’d had about enough. She got out of the car and slammed the door. He was already rounding the front end of the car, but he kept a safe distance. “Jack, you guys are all the same,” she said, venom creeping into her voice.
“You talk about us being equal with everyone else, but when it comes to real relationships with us, you’re just like everybody else,” Amanda said, cocking one hip to the side and putting her hand on that hip. “We’re good enough to come to Jesus, but we’re not good enough to date, right?”
“No, no, no, you’re confused again,” Jackson said. “It’s not just prostitutes and hookers, I could sleep with someone in our choir and I would lose my job if it came out, not to mention the fact that it’s wrong.”
“Well then, let me just save you some time,” Amanda said forcefully. “Don’t come looking for me again unless you’re ready to pay for it.” She rubbed her fingers together as she said it and then turned to head toward the building, but Jackson stopped her again, his hand on his arm.
“Do you still have my card?” Jackson asked, and she patted her purse. “Good, then I want you to think about something. Are you listening?”
“Fine,” Amanda said, staring at the ground. “What is it?”
“My parents want someone to live with them to keep the place up. They’re getting on in their years and they’re looking for someone younger to do housework, possibly cook, and they asked if I might be able to get you to come back out there to live with them,” he said. Noticing her hesitation, he took that as a positive sign and pushed on. “In exchange for your help, the food and room would be free, plus you would still be able to get in some time with another side job or maybe even take some acting classes, if that’s what you really want to do.”
“Forget it, Jack,” she said flatly. “Thanks, but no thanks. Why would your parents want a hooker to move in with them when they could get some nice girl from the suburbs to do the job? Plus, I have a life here and I’m happy.” Happy was a relevant term, wasn’t it?
“What life?” Jackson asked her. “The one where you sleep with men for money?”
This time, Amanda’s hands were quicker than Jackson’s, and her right palm connected with his left cheek.
“I deserved that,” Jackson said, looking down at Amanda. “I’m sorry, I had no right to judge you. I’ve got my own two-by-four in my eye to deal with.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Amanda stared at him with unshed tears in her eyes. “Never mind. I don’t give a crap. Just stay away from me, Jack. I thought you were different, but you stand there, judging me, and then you throw your parents at my feet like a bone to a stray dog just to ease your conscience. I’m not falling for it.”
She turned on her heel and headed for the door to the stairwell of the apartment building. She felt Jackson watching her as she walked away.
“Amanda, I’m sorry,” he said. “If you change your mind, the offer from my parents is still open.” And I will tell them about the offer they’ve so generously made as soon as I can call them in the morning, Jackson told himself.
Amanda flipped him off without turning around, a signature move that gave her confidence and raised her flagging spirits. She was soon out of sight and she allowed her shoulders to slump and the tears to come. Why did I ever think he was different? He’s a man, Amanda; they’re all the same.
Clarissa had hailed a cab to take her home from the fundraiser, and the next morning, Jackson knew he was in big trouble. She was ignoring his calls and not answering his texts. Opening up his laptop, he tried to catch her on instant messaging, but as soon as he opened it up her status went to inactive.
Since he couldn’t reach her to apologize, Jackson decided to call his parents. It was almost 8 a.m. and he knew they’d already have been up for a couple of hours. They liked to take early morning rides on Chuck’s Harley when the weather cooperated, and today was no exception.
“Hello?” His mother answered the phone, still sounding a bit breathless, as if she’d just finished running a race.
“Mom? Hey there, you and Dad’ve been out on the bike?” Jackson started out with small talk, unsure of how to broach the subject of Amanda’s possible move-in.
“Oh hello, Jack dear,” Laura’s breathing was quickly returning to normal. “I didn’t expect you to call so early, what with the fundraiser going late last night and everything. How did it turn out?”
“Well, it was everything Clarissa hoped it would be,” Jackson started. Nope, no stalling. “Okay, here’s the deal, Mom. Turns out that Amanda showed up at the fundraiser last night with Phil. She went through with the abortion, but she’s in the escort business now. I gave her a ride home because you know how Phil has never been able to hold his liquor. Anyway, I sort of invited her to live with you and Dad.” Everything came out in a rush, his exhaustion from a sleepless night catching up with him.
“Oh Jackson,” his mother murmured. “God’s so funny sometimes. Your father and I were just talking about Amanda this morning. Well, I mean, she did her best to keep us at arm’s length, but you know how we can’t turn away an injured soul, whether human, feline or canine.”
Jackson laughed. “Of course, I should’ve known,” he said. “You two feel like you need a new project to work on, and you’ve decided Amanda is just the one? She’s not a cat,
you know. She’s not going to just be satisfied with coming to your house and laying in the sun like one of your ridiculously fat Garfield-style felines.”
“Of course we know that,” his mother’s laugh tinkled merrily over the phone line. “But seriously, you know ever since Melanie has been gone, our hearts have been as empty as her bedroom.” Laura paused, and the memories washed over Jackson again, as fresh as the day it had happened.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’d be happy to have Amanda share our home and help us out, if that’s what you think is best,” she said. Jackson could hear the ragged emotion in her voice, a testament to just how close the memories were to the surface of their everyday lives.
“Mom, you’re the best,” Jackson said, his own voice sounding a bit scratchy from the tears he was holding back. “So far she’s not interested, but I’ll keep you posted. I love you, Mom.”
“Son, you know I love you too,” Laura said before he hung up.
Amanda woke up slowly, fighting to stay in the dream where she was wearing white and dancing in Jackson’s arms. Opening her eyes, she saw her dingy apartment and realized she hadn’t even bothered to change before throwing herself across her bed last night.
A white dress, yeah, that’ll happen, Amanda. What is it with this guy? Why can’t you just let him go? He’s a man, and eventually all men want one thing: sex. Just because he stopped last night doesn’t mean he won’t eventually want that one thing from her.
Amanda tried to figure out what it was that made Jackson stop so suddenly, so she played the scene over in her mind, remembering his warm lips and solid body, one hand in her hair while the other explored the rest of her. That hand had been cruising all over when it got to her stomach, and that’s when she sat straight up in bed.
Hot Pink Heels (The Street Series) Page 8
