by Candis Terry
Jordan started to walk again and Ethan was right there beside him. “I did something really shitty fifteen years ago to a girl who didn’t deserve it and I was trying to make it up to her.”
“You didn’t succeed?”
“Maybe. But—”
“There’s more to the story?”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
“Sounds serious.”
“Life has definitely taken some twists and turns in the past couple of weeks.”
“I hear that.” Ethan reached down and picked up a piece of vine cut during last year’s harvest. “If you’re worried about Nicki, I had a chat with her.”
“At least she’ll talk to you. All she does is yell at me.”
“She’s pretty damn good at that.”
“Yeah.” Jordan gave a harsh laugh. “She makes it no secret that she hates my guts.”
“She doesn’t hate you, but she’s definitely pissed about something. I think you’re just in her line of fire.”
“Did she give you any insight as to what’s going on?” Jordan asked as they came to the end of the row and headed toward the guest cabins. “I already asked Ryan, Dec, and Parker, but they had no clue.”
Ethan shook his head. “It’s like she talks in code. The only thing she said was that the rest of us had no idea what it was like to be her. And that the only possibility of a resolution was gone.”
“Cryptic.”
“Yeah.” Ethan made a cynical sound. “I’m pretty sure that young or old, I’ll never figure out women.”
“They’re definitely one of the great mysteries of life.”
“Amen to that. So . . . this girl you were trying to apologize to . . . you’ve got feelings for her?”
“She’s pretty special.”
“But?”
“She’s been through a lot.” Without giving away details he said, “She needs someone to give her what she needs. What she deserves.”
“And you’re not that guy?”
As much as he wanted to be that guy, he wasn’t sure he could be. “She deserves someone better than me. Someone who has their life all figured out. Not someone who has too many balls juggling in the air to be sure of anything.”
Jordan never expected to have such strong feelings for her at all, let alone in such a short time. His instincts were to protect her. To show her that loving someone didn’t have to be painful. That making love was supposed to be warm and fulfilling for both parties. He’d meant it when he’d told her he was interested in her. He meant it when he said she deserved to be treated well and that she mattered to him. And as much as he wanted to be that guy, he didn’t really know what he was capable of. This was his first trip to the rodeo.
“The look on your face says you want to be that guy, regardless of the juggling.”
“Yeah, but too many things are piling up,” Jordan said. “And I’m probably not the guy who can make it all better.”
“Such as?”
“I can’t bring our parents back, or find the missing money, or fix Nicki’s troubles in the blink of an eye. I’ve got the coach and my agent sending me text threats that I need to get my ass back to work ASAFP. And I can’t focus on anything except that I’ve skated on my duties to this family for years. It’s my turn to give.”
“Yep.” Ethan shook his head. “That’s a load of shit all right. You ever think about letting go of stuff you have no control over?”
“No. I’m programmed to take care of business.”
“Too bad real life isn’t as easy as slamming some guy into the boards, right?”
“That’s about the only thing I’m good at.”
“Bullshit. Stop being so fucking hard on yourself. You’re right. As much as I’d like you to be able to, you can’t bring Mom and Dad back. Let that go. Mourn them. Miss them. Hold your memories close. It’s okay to live your own life and still be respectful of the loss. As far as the missing money goes . . . Ryan and Dec will get it figured out. It might take a while, but they’ll find out what happened and then we’ll get this place updated so it starts making money again. When it comes to Nicki, the rest of us will help out wherever we’re needed. We’ve just taken a step back because you seem so determined to do right by her. We don’t want to take that away from you.” He grimaced. “Plus she’s scary as hell.”
Jordan chuckled because it was the truth.
“So that leaves you only two things to focus on—your lady friend and your career.” Ethan clapped his hand over Jordan’s shoulder. “One you should be able to sweet talk, the other you can fast talk. Get it done and quit your bitching.”
As his well-meaning brother walked away, Jordan knew the truth. He wasn’t much good at anything except smack talk on the ice.
Only one thing in his life was certain; as soon as he returned the calls to his agent and coach, he’d become the guy who made promises he couldn’t keep.
The deep breath Jordan took didn’t do much to calm the dread tightening in his chest as he knocked on Nicole’s bedroom door early Sunday morning. According to Aunt Pippy, who’d met him downstairs with a cup of coffee and a warm cinnamon roll, Nicki was still asleep. Unfortunately what needed to be said couldn’t wait for her to leisurely arise.
He’d been prepared to knock several times before she’d even consider answering, but she surprised him by opening the door almost immediately.
Hair mussed and wearing long-sleeved flannel pajamas with cats and polka dots on them, she squinted up at him from one bloodshot eye. “What do you want?” she muttered.
“We need to talk.”
“About what? What did I do now?” She shifted her weight to one hip, which indicated a definite attitude was in play.
“I don’t know that you did anything wrong unless you have something you want to admit.”
“No,” she answered suspiciously fast.
“Can I come in?”
“Whatever. Even if I tell you no you’ll come in anyway.” She turned and shuffled back to the bed, where she sat down, crossed her legs, and pulled a fuzzy purple blanket up over the top of her like she wanted to hide. Her blue eyes stared out at him from beneath her cocoon.
He followed her into the room and leaned his backside against her dresser. Without all the makeup and perfectly styled hair, she looked about ten years old. Which didn’t help lessen his guilt for waking her early just to drop a bomb on top of her temperamental little head.
“Late night?” he asked.
“It wasn’t a school night so don’t get your tighty-whities in a wad.”
“That wasn’t an answer.”
“That’s because it’s none of your business. You’re not the boss of me.”
“You have approximately, what, five months before you turn eighteen?” He folded his arms, and without giving her a chance to respond, he continued. “Until then everything you do is my business. You heard Mom and Dad’s wishes. I am the boss of you, along with Ryan, Declan, Parker, and Ethan. So humor me. In the future when I ask you a question, please respond with an appropriate answer. Okay?”
She folded her arms and jerked her chin upward just enough to deliver a silent, rebellious Screw you.
“We need to talk about—”
“You’re leaving.” Her eyes narrowed and she scoffed. “I knew it.”
“Nicki—”
“Don’t Nicki me like you care!” She jumped up and paced the room, throwing her hands up in a barely controlled temper tantrum. “How dare you make promises you knew you wouldn’t keep. You’re just like everybody else.”
“I’m only leaving for a few days. I’ll be back.”
“Bullshit!” She grabbed the pillows from her bed and threw them at him. “Get out.”
“Nicki—”
“Get out. Get out. Get out!” Eac
h out was accented by the hurling of whatever she could get her hands on—books, stuffed animals, a bottle of nail polish.
Fuck.
He couldn’t handle this. He didn’t know what the hell he’d been thinking trying to take on Nicole and her gargantuan attitude.
He wasn’t equipped for this.
Failure slapped him in the heart as he escaped before the bottle of Juicy perfume conked him on the head.
As soon as he closed the door behind him he heard her sobs.
They broke him.
Crushed him.
Made him desperate to know what was going on in her head.
Yes, she’d just lost both of her parents, so tears and sadness were to be expected. But it was the bitter anger and inability for her to be even remotely reasonable that caused him such concern. He might not know teenage girls very well, but he knew his sister’s outbursts weren’t normal. Something very deep was going on that for some reason she didn’t want to share with anyone.
Especially him.
As her sobs continued and concern strangled him, he took two steps toward the stairs and stopped.
Fuck.
What kind of an ass was he?
If he left her like this he’d be exactly the kind of selfish bastard she accused him of being.
The wheels in his head spun, searching for a resolution. Then he turned around and, without knocking, opened her door.
Face red, blotchy, and sniffling, she looked up, obviously surprised by his return.
“I know I’m not very good at this,” he admitted. “I have no experience at being a parent, a guardian, or hell, even a big brother.” He crossed the room, pulled her into his arms, and hugged her tight so she couldn’t squirm away. “But I love you. And it kills me to see you like this. So get some clothes together. You’re going with me. Be ready in two hours. No excuses. No bullshit. Be at the door waiting or I’ll come up here and haul your ass down the stairs. Got it?”
Instead of arguing, she sniffed and nodded.
He shut the door, dropped his head back, closed his eyes, and prayed to whoever could help him out.
Forget a damn can of worms; he’d just opened up the gates to hell.
A typical Sunday morning for Lucy was to sleep in, make blueberry pancakes, and then take Ziggy for a walk down at the park by the river. He loved to catch a Frisbee, and her backyard was too small for him to be able to run far enough to make his huge running leaps.
This morning, however, was anything but typical.
Not only had she not slept in, she hadn’t slept all night. She hadn’t meant to unleash the demons of her past with Jordan, especially when he’d gone to so much trouble to set up such a wonderful evening. He hadn’t needed to know all the trials and tribulations she’d been through. He hadn’t needed to know that she’d allowed someone to treat her that way. Still, for some reason she’d opened up.
If you’d asked her two weeks ago if she’d ever trust Jordan Kincade enough to tell him her deepest, darkest secrets, she would have laughed. Amazing how things had changed in such a short time. While she’d told him—in part—of the emotional abuse, the torment, and the unforgivable way she’d been handled in a sexual sense, he’d held her tight, letting her have her say in a quiet, supportive manner she’d never expected.
By the time she’d finished telling him, the muscles in his jaw were clenched so tight she thought it would break. She understood most men didn’t like to be dragged into a load of drama, so she’d made sure she delivered the information as matter-of-factly as she could, leaving her emotions at the door as much as possible. When she finished, he’d said, “I wish I could have been there to help you.”
She wished he could have too.
At the time she’d wished anyone could have been there to help her. But it was a mess she’d gotten herself into and a mess she’d had to get out of on her own. Still, she appreciated his sentiment and understanding.
Of course, his consolation only made things worse on her conscience. He’d planned such an amazing evening and she’d ruined it all by spilling her guts. She wouldn’t be surprised if he wished he could take back all the effort he put into the date. Even if that wasn’t how he acted when he’d walked her to her front door and kissed her very gently on the lips.
Getting to know him proved one thing—you could never judge a book by its cover. Or in this case, a hockey player.
Then again, time would tell.
Though he’d said he was interested in her, he could have only meant he was interested in the way an entomologist studied bugs.
She’d just folded fresh blueberries into the pancake batter when her doorbell rang. Wiping her hands on a kitchen towel, she figured Mrs. B had shown up early for their grocery-shopping excursion. Unprepared for company in a pair of cutoff sweats, a ratty “Live Love Teach” T-shirt, and slippers, she scuffed her way to the door anyway. The last thing she needed was to make the sweet, fragile woman wait on her doorstep.
Instead of her neighbor, Jordan stood at her door. How someone managed to look tired, frazzled, and yet still as handsome as ever in a dark blue Henley shirt, jeans, boots, and that oh-so-sexy black leather jacket was a mystery.
“Good morning.” She tried to hide her surprise and dismay that he’d caught her looking less than presentable.
“Did I wake you?” His dark blue gaze shifted down and up her body as a suggestive smile tilted his lips.
“No. I was just making blueberry pancakes. Come on in, I have plenty to share.”
Having heard Jordan’s voice, Ziggy dashed into the room, tail wagging and looking for some affection from the new arrival. Jordan complied, bending at the knees and giving her dog a rubdown before he followed her into the kitchen. The retriever rewarded him with an audible toot.
“Dude.” Jordan chuckled.
Ziggy wagged his tail.
Her dog’s habit could be embarrassing. Still, it must be nice not to give a rip when you had to let one rip.
“I’m surprised to see you up and about so early. Coffee?” When Lucy turned to get his response he was sitting at her little kitchen table looking dazed and confused. “Are you okay?”
He nodded and then shook his head. “I need to ask you a favor. And I know you don’t owe me anything but . . . I need you to tell me yes.”
She laughed before realizing he was serious. “That sounds dangerous.”
“You’re going to think I’m crazy. Hell, I think I’m crazy. But I’m going to ask anyway.”
“Well, now I’m really curious.” She leaned her backside against the counter and folded her arms, hoping to hide some of the T-shirt stains.
“If I don’t go back to North Carolina and play the next series of home games I’m in breach of my contract and it will cost me upward of four million.”
“Wow. I can’t even fathom that kind of money. But the bottom line is your team obviously needs you.”
“My family needs me too. And I’d be willing to give up that kind of cash if it was just about me.” He hesitated. “But right now the vineyard is in financial trouble and I might need that money to help bail it out.”
“Financial trouble?” Stunned, her arms dropped to her sides. “But the wine is so good.”
“It’s not the wine.” His long fingers nervously tapped the tabletop. “My dad and Ryan have worked really hard on getting the blends just right and several have won multiple awards at the Washington State and Seattle wine awards. Everything else at the winery is a little run-down and needs revitalizing. But the biggest problem is when Ryan and Declan went through the finances, they discovered someone has been stealing money.”
“Stealing!”
He nodded. “As generous as my folks have always been, it’s hard to imagine someone took advantage of them like that.”
“Any idea who to
ok it?”
“None yet. They’re still trying to figure it out. Whoever took it was really smart about it. There’s no paper trail to follow, and the winery is currently in the red. That’s why I have to go back to North Carolina.”
“I completely understand.” Reality reared its head. Maybe she understood but she was sure someone else wouldn’t. “Did you tell Nicole?”
“Yeah.” He barked a harsh laugh. “And believe me, that did not go over well. Which brings me to my favor.”
“Ask away.” How could she refuse him a small favor after he’d gone to so much trouble to set up a prom for her?
“Remember . . .” He gave her a smile that turned her knees to water. “I need you to say yes.”
“I’ll do my best.”
“After I told Nicole I had to leave for a couple of days she broke down. She cried so hard it killed me. There’s no way in hell I can just walk away and leave her like that. I don’t know what’s going on with her but I can’t just desert her. And since that’s obviously a major issue, I’m taking her with me.”
“And you want me to give her some extra credit work to take along?”
“Not exactly.” He stood and gently clasped his hands around her arms. “I want you to come with us.”
“You want me to what?” A quiver of disbelief mixed with fascination tingled at the back of her neck.
“I want you to get on a plane and go with us to North Carolina. Before the games I’ll have practice. I’ll be gone for hours each day and I can’t just leave Nicki alone in a strange city. She’s too unstable right now.”
“Jordan, I can’t just walk away from everything.”
“It’s spring break. You have a week off.”
“But I have other responsibilities. I have to take Mrs. B grocery shopping today. And tomorrow she has a doctor appointment and—”
“And you’re wonderful for taking such good care of her. But she has children in the area who appear to be taking advantage of you.”
“I don’t think of it that way.”
“I know.” He kissed her forehead. “That’s what makes you so wonderful.”
