by Regine Abel
“Do not apologize, child,” he smiled. “It could have been done better, but you had the right idea and it worked.”
“But look at his face. It started pouring out of him when I gave him blood.”
“And that’s the only reason he’s still alive now,” Minh said. “All this toxin was burying itself into his vital organs, slowly killing him. Your hormones kicked them out. But his body is so saturated with it there was nowhere for the excess to go except out.”
“So… T–This is good then?” I asked uncertain. “We want to see more coming out like this?”
“Yes, Amalia. The more of it comes out, the better for Lhor.”
“Will he be alright then?” Ghan asked gruffly.
Minh rubbed the back of his head. “Under normal circumstances, for a patient this far gone, I would say no. But the fact that he has recovered enough to drink on his own is nothing short of a miracle. Frankly, the sheer amount of toxin he has expelled is another miracle in and of itself. This is unheard of.” He turned to look at Ghan. “Speaking of expelled toxin, Ghan have you been in contact with any of it?”
“No,” Ghan said. “I moved away as soon as it started coming out.”
“Good. It’s best you keep your distance. It could harm you.”
Ghan nodded, turning his eyes back to Lhor and me. I felt myself flag. At first, I thought it was due to blood loss. However, Lhor had sealed the slash on my wrist with the healing properties of his saliva. His fangs didn’t drain blood, only the hormones within my blood. I wasn’t sure what caused this sudden weakness that washed over me.
“Amalia?” Ghan said with a tinge of worry.
“She’s becoming lethargic. Lhor has drained too much of her oxytocin,” Minh said while running his handheld scanner over me. “Lhor, my son, I know you can hear me. You are drinking too deeply, it’s hurting Amalia. Give her some of your Thylin venom to steady her then release her. Do you hear me, Lhor? Give her some Thylin and release her. You’re harming her.”
Seconds later I was hammered by an incredibly intense wave of euphoria. Yep, Xelixians definitely needed to bottle that shit and sell it on the black market. They would make a fortune! I felt Lhor’s fangs slip out of my wrist and his rough tongue lick the puncture wounds shut. Through the fogginess, I lowered my eyes to find Lhor’s staring at me. Something powerful passed between us in that moment. A connection… a recognition… a bond.
His eyes glazed over and his lids closed. I don’t know much about what happened afterward. I was off to La La Land, high as a kite.
CHAPTER 27
Khel
That was the longest flight back from the Council Hall of my life. Through it all, the dull echoes of debilitating pain were constant, then nothing. For a moment, I feared the worse. But then, I dismissed it as impossible. I would know beyond any doubt if Lhor had passed from this world. And Ghan would contact me.
I raced out of the shuttle toward the house. Through the sitting room window, I spied Ghan standing alone. I ran into the house.
“Ghan?”
He turned to face me. I’ve known Ghan for twelve years. Throughout that time, we had faced every peril a warrior could imagine together. Not once had I ever seen him this frazzled.
“Talk to me, Ghan,” I said as if speaking to a frightened animal.
“It’s a strange thing to come face to face with your own mortality,” Ghan said, his voice monotone. “This is not a warrior’s death. I hope when my time comes, it’ll be on the field of battle.”
“Ghan?” I asked again.
He heaved a sigh. “Lhor is fine or will be soon. The Taint almost claimed him. Amalia gave him blood and brought him back from the brink of death. Even Volghan calls it a miracle.”
What?
I froze at his word. “Lhor drank from my mate?”
Ghan stilled. “She saved his life.”
My voice hardened. “He. Drank. From. My. Mate?”
Ghan narrowed his eyes at me. I knew I was asking the wrong question, but right now, I couldn’t think past this.
“Yes,” Ghan said with a snarl. “He drank from her after she slit her wrist and shoved it down his throat. I had to pin him down because he refused to drink but she wouldn’t let him die. He had no choice but to drink.”
I poked an angry finger at my chest. “She’s my mate! She chose me!”
“And he’s the other half of your soul!” Ghan shouted back. He shook his head, and continued with a calmer voice, “She saved his life, you selfish bastard. ‘Don’t you dare let him die, Ghan!’ were your exact words. Is that what we should have done? Let him die?”
Fangs bared, I snarled at him. I wanted to hurt him to vent the violence building within. My reaction was irrational but I couldn’t think past the fear. I made for the stairs.
“Khel!” he called out, “Don’t let pride blind you to what truly matters. He’s your Gem.”
I flew up the stairs intent on confronting Lhor. As I approached the first floor, Amalia ran down the stairs toward me. My anger shifted, having found a new focus.
She smiled with relief. “Khel, you’re home!”
Her smile faded, replaced by confusion at my expression. Fighting the urge to drag her with me by the arm, I stormed past her and headed for my office. I didn’t trust myself not to handle her roughly. But even in my berserk state, I would never allow myself to brutalize her.
Her light footsteps echoed in the hallway as she hastened to catch up. I let her walk into the room before slamming the door behind us.
She jumped with a startled gasp and stared at me, wide-eyed, with a mixture of bewilderment and fear. “Khel… Sweetie, what’s wrong?” Her voice quivered. “Why are you looking at me like this? You’re scaring me.”
“Am I?” I asked. “Would you prefer I not look at you at all? Maybe another male’s gaze would be more to your liking?”
“What?” Amalia scrunched her face. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know. You tell me. Do you wish it was Lhor in this room with you?” Her mouth gaped in understanding. “Ah… now you get it. Tell me, did you enjoy when he sank his fangs into you. Did it make you wet?”
She recoiled as if I’d slapped her. “It wasn’t like that!”
“Wasn’t it, my heart? Are you having second thoughts? Do you wish you’d chosen pretty-faced Lhor instead? Have you been fantasizing about having his pretty mouth on you?”
“What in the world is wrong with you?” She tapped her temple as if saying I’d lost my mind. “Lhor almost died in my arms today and you’re asking me if I’ve fantasized about him?”
“You made him drink from you!” I yelled viciously.
She stood there for a moment, shocked. Then nodded slowly, staring at me like she couldn’t believe we were having this conversation.
“Yes. Absolutely, I did! And I would do it again! Did you hear what I just said?” She pointed an angry finger at me, punctuating her words. “Lhor. Was. Dying. He was unconscious, barely breathing. Toxin was leaking out of his eyes and ears. Minh wasn’t there. We didn’t know what to do but we couldn’t let him die. So I did the only thing I could think of and it saved him.”
“So what, you’ve become the Tainted male buffet?”
She rolled her eyes. “Stop talking nonsense. We’re talking about Lhor. What did you expect me to do?”
“I expect you to behave like a proper mated female and not betray me with some other male!”
“I didn’t betray you!” She looked up, throwing imploring hands at the ceiling. “Goddess help me! Do you even hear yourself? He’s not some other male. He’s Lhor. Our Lhor. Your Gem. Did you seriously expect me to let him die because of some stupid social rule?”
“You are my mate!” I shouted, slapping a fist against my chest.
“Yes, I’m your mate. And nothing is going to change that. But don’t ask me to sit back and let Lhor die.”
“Then let him find his own mate! You chose me, not him!”
<
br /> “I didn’t choose you!” she yelled exasperated. “I chose your name! He was my choice!”
We both froze at her words. She put her hand over mouth, horrified by the truth her anger revealed. I took a few steps back, struggling to contain the pain that tore through my chest. She couldn’t have meant that. Could she? I remembered that moment in the Selection when she debated which one of us to choose. Her eyes had widened when she looked at my family name. Something about it nagged at me but I’d been too elated to be chosen to spare it further thought.
“Khel…” she whispered.
The sound of her voice in the silence snapped me out of my daze. I walked to the window overlooking the ryspak orchard and let my gaze roam into the distance, unseeing.
“I didn’t mean it like that. Please, let me explain.”
“Get out,” I said.
“Khel, please,” she pleaded. “We can’t leave it like this.”
“Amalia,” I articulated slowly, “get out, now.”
“Khel…”
“GET OUT!”
She flinched, taking two instinctive steps back from me. Amalia shook in true fear for the first time. She ran to the door and fumbled with the handle in her eagerness to get out. She managed to open it and fled the room. I could hear her loud sobs as she raced up the stairs but couldn’t be moved to care.
* * *
I didn’t choose you! I chose your name! He was my choice!
The cruel words played in a loop in my head. With each iteration, my anger festered a bit more. I’m not sure how long I stood there, letting my resentment build. Without even noticing it, I had crawled to my desk and pulled up the Xelixian Book of Law. When I realized what I was doing, I closed it.
Its content was no mystery to me. During her interrogation, Letha’s comment about the law had unnerved me. I’d verified her claim the next day. Finding its confirmation in writing had left me torn. Our constituents weren’t ready to accept this. I wasn’t ready to accept this. But I also wasn’t ready to lose Lhor. The bond between Amalia and Lhor was undeniable. Amalia cared for me, but she liked him more. If she knew of the law, I’m sure she would have proposed to him already. I needed more time with just the two of us for her to learn to love me. Now, more than ever, I believed when our Trial ended, she would leave me for him.
I could feel Lhor upstairs. It had been a dull, static sensation for a while, but now it came to the forefront. That sixth sense pulled and waned, telling me he was up and about in his room. It beckoned me, like a beacon for my wrath.
Before even realizing I had moved, I was outside his bedroom. I didn’t bother knocking and flung the door open. Lhor stood by his bed, unfazed by my dramatic entrance.
He’s been expecting me and my righteous anger.
I suspected for a while that Lhor had his own way of sensing me. Now, I was more convinced than ever.
“Hello, Khel.”
I sneered. “You look rather well for a male who was dying minutes ago.”
His eyes narrowed. “Yes. It’s rather miraculous.”
“Miraculous indeed. Whoever would have thought the day would come when Lhor Kirnhan would sink his fangs into a willing female.”
He visibly flinched at my cruel words and stared at me in confusion. I couldn’t believe I’d just said that. It was like there were two of me; the vicious bastard determined to hurt and alienate the people I cared about, and the heartbroken male who feared he’d lost both his mate and his brother. The vicious bastard took over and I watched from the sidelines as he tore my world apart.
“What? Nothing to say, Lhor? You were always so gifted with words. Is that how you seduced my mate into surrendering to you?”
Lhor clenched his jaw. “I didn’t seduce her.”
“No? Yet, it sounds like you took your sweet time sucking on her. Did you enjoy drinking from my mate?”
His shoulders dropped, his face disbelieving. “I was barely conscious, Khel. They had to force me to swallow her blood. I was too far gone to drink of my own free will. It was on instinct. I wouldn’t go after your mate.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “Wouldn’t you? You think I don’t see the way you look at her? You think I don’t know how you lust after her? You think I didn’t know you were spying on us when I made love to her by the pool?”
Once again, he visibly flinched at my comment. Score One. Still, he stood with his head high, like he had nothing to be sorry for, like he hadn’t betrayed me.
He lifted his chin defiantly. “Whatever feelings I may or may not have towards Amalia, I’ve never crossed the line. I’ve never tried to entice her or otherwise seduce her, nor will I.”
I gestured at him. “Is that why you let her rub herself all over you yesterday without fighting back? You could have dominated her with little effort, used your venom to paralyze her. But no, instead you lay there letting her dry hump you and enjoyed every minute of it.”
“I didn’t want to hurt her!” Lhor bellowed. “After the thallium incident, I didn’t dare use my venom on her. Who knew how it might affect her?” He extended a pleading hand. “Goddess, Khel, you saw how she was acting. I didn’t know what was causing that reaction. What if she’d eaten something that messed with her, which my venom could further enhance?”
I shook my head with a sad chuckle. “Always the politician, aren’t you, cousin? Always the right words and reasonable explanations. Do you think me so blind I don’t see through your game?”
“And what game would that be, cousin?” he echoed.
“You preying on my mate’s compassion to try to steal her from me.”
A staggering wave of emotions slammed into me; hurt, anger, betrayal, sadness.
Not my emotions. His.
I ignored it and the sense of unease building inside me. The vicious bastard still wanted his pound of flesh, regardless of what I wanted.
“How convenient you should have your little collapse when I was too far away to intervene? I wouldn’t be surprised if you accidentally drained her of all oxytocin leaving her so apathetic you had to flood her with your Thylin venom to compensate.”
He blanched. Score Two.
“You did, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU?” I slammed my fist against his dresser, enraged. “So is that your plan, cousin? To get her addicted to your Thylin – to you – before the Trial is over so that she’ll leave me for you instead?”
He looked at me like he didn’t know me. “Who are you?” he whispered.
“I’m the fool who trusted you!” I roared. “But no more. If you think you’re going to drug your way into fucking my mate, you clingy little parasite, think again!”
Oh Goddess! I’m so sorry, Lhor. I don’t mean it!
I pointed a threatening finger at him and said in a slow, strained voice, “I want you out of my house, and out of our lives before the night is over. If not, I’ll have you thrown out.”
He stood, his face drained of emotion. However, wave after wave of searing pain washed over me. He was dying inside and my knees almost buckled at the devastation he felt. Turning my back on him, I walked out of the room without another word, slamming the door behind me.
I had intended to go back to my office, but stopped dead in my tracks. Sivh stood a few feet in front of me. The disgust and sadness on his face told me he had heard my conversation with Lhor. I lifted my chin, swallowing down the sour bile of bitter shame that burned in my belly.
“Need something, Sivh?”
His eyes hardened. “No, Sehr. I merely wished to inform you Ghan has taken Amalia and Jhola. They’re delivering the food they’ve prepared for the rescued females.” His tone was formal, frosty. He bowed and left without another word.
I stood watching his retreating back, feeling more alone than ever before. Shame, anger, sadness all warred within me. And Lhor’s wretched emotions wouldn’t stop hammering at me. I couldn’t deal with his despair on top of my own. The vicious bastard turned back to Lhor’s room to order him to keep his fuckin
g emotions to himself. I flung the door open but found the room empty. The balcony door was closed so I headed for the fresher. Shoving that door open, I readied to snarl at him, but the words died in my throat as a startled Lhor turned to face me.
Lhor stood naked near the shower’s control panel, having just opened the shelf containing the bathing accessories. His body was obsidian, entirely claimed by the Taint. Claw marks marred his chest, covered with dried blood and toxin. No longer blinded by my anger, I finally noticed the streaks of dried toxin by his ears and at the edge of his eyes. Amalia tried to tell me. Ghan tried to tell me. But I didn’t listen.
He had been dying. He shouldn’t have survived that. This WAS a miracle.
“Oh Goddess, Lhor…” I whispered grief-stricken. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t know.”
“I don’t need your fucking pity, Khel,” Lhor hissed. “Get out!”
“Lhor…”
“GET OUT!” he yelled, throwing a pumice stone at me.
I ducked instinctively. The pumice crashed into the mirror, exploding behind me. I didn’t react to the small cuts I received from the flying pieces. Lhor leveled me with a venomous glare. The waves of hatred emanating from him cut me deeper than any piece of glass could. I slowly backed out of the fresher and closed the door as Lhor turned on the water and lifted his face to the cleansing flow.
I walked in a haze across the hallway to the empty master bedroom, then sat heavily on the bed. What I wouldn’t give in this instant to hold Amalia in my arms and have her husky voice tell me everything would be alright.
Don’t let pride blind you to what truly matters.
Ghan’s words echoed in my head over and over again. I should have listened to him, but the vicious bastard wouldn’t let me. And now, in less than two hours, I’d managed to alienate everyone I cared about. I’d driven away the love of my life and cast out the other half of my soul. How was I ever going to fix this?
Lhor.
He had been dying. I felt it. I knew it deep down. I told Ghan not to let him die because I knew. And yet, in my selfish fear of losing him and losing my mate, I lost sight of what truly mattered.
