“He’s just been really worried.” Bradley tried to apologize for him.
I didn’t know what to say, I just sat there wide-eyed, looking stupid.
“Do you want some hot cocoa or something?” He touched my checks, commenting that they were still a bright red. I didn’t feel much like eating or drinking anything. I just shook my head. The carpet had a tiny box pattern in it, something I had never noticed before. I examined it to avoid eye contact. I had a sunken feeling in my chest and felt nauseous. I watched my finger outline the pattern on the couch, anything to keep from making eye contact with Bradley. He slowly unwound the scarf that hid my face from the cold--no longer needed in the warmth of the house. He unzipped my jacket. “This is wet. I’ll hang it up for you.” He draped it over a chair to dry by the fireplace.
I reached my hands toward the fire.
“Do you want to go lay down?” I finally glanced up at him, nodding my head yes. He held out his hands to help me stand. As I lifted my weight onto my legs, they gave out, and Bradley had to catch me. I tried to regain my balance but collapsed. He leaned over and picked me up, carrying me to my room. An awkward silence hung in the air, neither of us knowing what to say.
“Thank you, Bradley. Thank you for everything.”
“I’ll see you in the morning, right?” He asked as if I might try a stupid escape again. “Should we install extra locks?”
“Do you think he’ll ever talk to me again?”
“You really did scare us, Nicole. I’ve never seen him so upset. Give him some time.”
He turned off the light and closed the door. I lay there in the darkness. Everything felt different. I wished I could wake up to find it was all a dream. I couldn’t bear to have them disappointed in me. I tossed and turned, rolling around in my blankets trying to find a way to erase the nagging feeling poisoning me.
Chapter 34
*Nicole*
Hearing voices in the kitchen, I contemplated getting out of bed. Part of me just wanted to stay under the covers all day and not have to face them again. I decided to be strong and leave the protection of the four walls of my room. I stumbled to grab onto the doorway and staggered down the hall. Dylan sat in the kitchen, drinking coffee with Bradley.
When I arrived he stood, became quiet, and left the room without acknowledging me. He hated me. My eyes glazed over as the moisture flooded them. An intense aching took the breath out of me as I fumbled for a chair. Short staggered breaths accentuated my weeping.
Bradley sprung up and rubbed my back.
“It’s gonna be okay.” I couldn’t even respond to him. Bradley left the kitchen, and went over to Dylan’s room, “Please talk to her. Come on, Dylan. Talk to her for me.”
“I have nothing to say, Brad. I have nothing to say.”
I realized I had to do something. I had to make things better. I had to apologize. Trying to regain my composure, I wiped my face, sniffling. Determined, I stood up. With each step toward Dylan’s room, apprehension grew. I hadn’t realized till that moment how much I needed him. How much I wanted his approval. I felt an emptiness overwhelm me.
I can do this. I convinced myself that somehow when I apologized, he would take me in his arms and things would be just like they had been. I finally reached his doorway.
He sat on the edge of the bed. As he curled the dumb bell, his biceps exploded, popping out of the sleeve of the t-shirt that covered them.
“Dylan,” I whispered. “Dylan.” I began anxiously. He didn’t even raise his eyes.
“Dylan.”
He put down the dumbbells and stood up, annoyed.
“What do you want, Nicole?” The monotone in his voice accentuated the cold stare. He avoided my eyes. He only glared in my direction. He stood there, so beautiful. I staggered toward him touching his chest.
“I’m so sorry.”
He grabbed my wrist and took my hand off his body. “Don’t touch me,” he snarled. I focused on the hand that had been stripped from his chest, feeling dirty like a plague he didn’t want to catch. I tried breathing slowly as I felt the tears come to my eyes. Be strong, Nicole. Be strong.
“I’m so sorry.” I couldn’t help it and reached for his body again.
“I said do not touch me.” His harsh tone stabbed me. He stepped backward out of my reach.
“I’m sorry.” Tears finally broke the barrier I had created and dripped out of the corner of my eyes.
“Sorry for what, Nicole? What are you sorry for?” His eyes questioned as if I had no idea what I was sorry for.
“For everything,”
“For everything? What is everything?” He lifted his eyebrow.
I glanced up at him, my lip pouted, hoping he would understand I truly was sorry. My heart rate elevated as he approached me.
“Sorry for the games?” He got a little closer. “Sorry for your lack of appreciation? Sorry for disappearing? What are you sorry for?”
My face felt flushed as his body stood right before mine. I reached out again to touch him. I wanted him to forgive me. I needed him to hold me.
“I said don’t touch me, Nicole. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. vzyl I’ll help Bradley out until we find your parents, but I’m done.”
My chest clenched with regret. “Please Dylan, please.”
“You need to leave my room now. “ He pointed to the door. “You’ll be happy with Bradley. He’s a good guy.” He continued to stare through me. “I need you to leave.”
I breathed harder as tears flooded my vision.
“I said I need you to leave.”
The room started spinning, and acid seemed to erupt from my stomach.
“You need to leave, Nicole.” He stood, void of emotion and he escorted me into the hallway, closing the door behind me. I slid down the wall, curled in a ball on the floor.
Bradley heard me hyperventilating and grabbed a paper bag for me to breathe into. He pounded on Dylan’s bedroom door.
“What the hell did you say to her?” Bradley screamed through the door. Dylan ignored him. Through the doorway, we could hear him playing a song on his guitar to drown out the yelling.
Chapter 35
Dylan began strumming a different pattern only to realize his guitar seemed to have a mind of its own and haunted him, returning to the songs he had written for her.
Obsession and Sacrifice
Tiffany Carmouché
*Dylan*
Bradley beat on the door. Dylan played the song louder to try to drown out the noise of Nicole’s sobbing and Bradley’s shouting. He suddenly realized what he was playing. He wrote the song for Nicole. Tears flooded his eyes. He couldn’t care! He had to let go!
He lay on his bed focusing on the ceiling as if it would console him. He began strumming a different pattern only to realize his guitar seemed to have a mind of its own and haunted him, returning to the songs he had written for her. He loved her, but there was no way he would let her torture him anymore. Perhaps if he pushed her into Bradley’s arms it would be easier to move on. He had to be strong. He had to say goodbye.
Chapter 36
*Bradley*
“What the hell is wrong with you!” Bradley observed her, curled up and devastated. As he helped her up, her hair, moist from her tears, brushed against his hand. What an asshole. He didn’t know how Dylan could change so quickly. What a jerk.
It hurt when she left, but she is here now. Brad stopped banging on the door and leaned over to help Nicole, still curled up on the floor in the hall. I don’t want her to leave again. Her legs were still fatigued and now she was emotionally crushed as well. He put his arms around her, helping her to her feet, yet she collapsed again. He picked her up, brought her to the couch and tried to comfort her.
“He’ll get over it. Don’t worry.
”
“I don’t know. He was really cold. I think he hates me.”
“He definitely doesn’t hate you. You just put us through a lot yesterday. We thought you were never coming back.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to be a burden anymore.”
“You’re not a burden.”
“How can you say that? You’ve done everything for me.” She stared through her lashes into his eyes.
Her beautiful mahogany eyes looked up at me. It’s like she cheated death twice. I couldn’t help but get lost. I wanted to kiss her. Dylan gave me permission. Bradley gently wiped the tear caressing her cheeks. This may be my last chance before he wakes up and realizes what an ass he is being. He slowly leaned in toward her, and she gazed into his eyes. For a moment, he thought she was going to kiss him, but then she pulled away.
“Bradley, I’m so confused right now. I don’t want to do anything stupid.” She stared down at the floor, ashamed at how she had acted. “Dylan was right, I haven’t been fair to the two of you and I realize that I can’t survive without you. I don’t know what I want. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, Bradley.”
Brad couldn’t believe he had turned her away only a few weeks ago. It had been my chance at happiness and I threw it away to be loyal. He could tell she was starting to fall for Dylan again. There was nothing he could do.
“You don’t have to say you’re sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“Are you kidding?” She put her hand over his. “What if you hadn’t been there? They say you saved my life. I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for you. I think about it now, all the time. What if I didn’t have you and Dylan? What if I woke up in that hospital alone with no idea who I was? What if I didn’t have the two of you helping me learn to walk, telling me about my daughter, providing me food and shelter? Bradley, where would I be? I owe the two of you everything. And I took you for granted. I want to be independent. I don’t want to be a bother, but--” she started to well up. Her tiny gasps for air tried to hold back the tears. They soon were cascading down her face again. “I can’t, Bradley. I need you. I need the two of you. And now he hates me. I am sorry. I am so sorry.” She buried her head in his shoulder.
Chapter 37
*Dylan*
The next day when Nicole walked into the kitchen, Dylan had to leave. He couldn’t bear to see her, to smell her, to hear her voice. She was like this poison that wanted to consume him. I can’t do it anymore. He sat on the bed and cradled his head in his hands. He had never had his insides ripped out the way they were when she left and he thought Steve had her. He cared too much. It hurt too much. And seeing her with Brad, seeing the way they looked at each other, knowing that she may choose him instead- – Dylan had to let her go before she broke his heart any more.
He couldn’t care…the pain was more then he could handle. Dylan stood up, walking to his dresser and opened the top drawer. He pulled out the carnation, and brought it to his nose. Chris gets here soon. His thoughts were consumed with how to hunt down the monster who stole everything from him.
He needed to begin the hunt. I have to go. I have to leave. I can’t love her anymore. He inhaled the faint scent of the flower, hoping the hate would overpower his love. It was so hard to leave her again. I need Brad to make his move. Once she sleeps with him, I can easily dismiss her. It will be over. But Brad hadn’t even tried to kiss her. I need him to try something, so can get over her.
Brad passed by the room and Dylan called him in. Grabbing his guitar, Dylan tried to seem indifferent about the whole matter.
“Why haven’t you tried anything yet, Brad?” He began plucking something, looking at the strings.
“What?”
“You haven’t tried anything with her, what is up with that?”
“She’s still in love with you, Dylan.”
“She’s in love with you. I see the way she stares at you.” Brad saved her life. I can’t believe I wasn’t there. Deep inside Dylan knew Brad was better for her than he was.
He lay back on his bed, strumming the guitar, no particular song, just experimenting with different sounds, the way he did when he was writing something.
“I don’t understand. You don’t love her?” Brad’s shoulders lifted.
“Do you love her?”
“I do.”
“So do something about it. I won’t kill you. I told you to do it.”
“She still loves you.”
“She barely remembers who I am. You’re the one who saved her life. You were there when she needed you.”
“You didn’t know she was in trouble.”
“I never liked the idea of her moving in with that guy. She is so damn stubborn. I can’t believe I gave in.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Dylan. I did try to kiss her and she said no. She’s still crazy about you. Why haven’t you kissed her?”
“Cause I want her to remember me first. I want to know that she is kissing me, the man she loves, rather than just some guy. She still seems undecided. I’m much too jealous to deal with her obvious attraction to you. If I kissed her and she continued to act that way, I couldn’t handle it.” Dylan sat up and put down the guitar. “Brad, the truth is I want to hunt this monster down. I don’t know how long it will take, but I need to. But the only way I’ll be able to do this is if I know that if anything happens to me, you’ll take care of her. If I get killed or if I go to jail, I need to know you will be there for her. I need to know she’ll be happy. You make her happy, Brad. I hate the idea of her being with anyone, but her happiness is what is most important to me. Her happiness is more important than my own.” He just stared out over Brads shoulder. “I have to get him, Brad. I will do whatever it takes, even if it means losing my life.”
“Dylan he is dangerous. That may happen.”
“As long as he is alive, she is not safe. As long as he is alive, I have this venom consuming me. I need to avenge her. I need to know that he’ll never hurt her again. I need to have him pay for what he did. I want you to make your move now. It’ll help me walk away.”
“You need to think about what you are saying. You didn’t see this guy attacking. With every drop of blood he saw, with every cut, he grew stronger. Killing was his adrenaline--his drug. It was like he was on PCP or something. I thought I hurt him, but he kept coming after me. It was the kill, the torture that made him strong.”
“I have to do this.”
“You could end up in jail or even worse, getting murdered and he still may end up getting away.”
“Brad, I will make sure he doesn’t get away. She deserves to live in peace. You need to make a move. You will be helping me. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. I can’t love her. Feeling like this, it’s eating me away inside. You gotta try again. If she is in love with you, maybe… maybe it will help me get over her. You do love her, don’t you?”
“I’d die for her too.”
“So what is the problem?”
“I don’t know. I just choke. Part of it is the loyalty thing to you, but I think part of it is knowing I’m not good enough for her. How can I compare to you?”
“She doesn’t need you to be me. She needs you to be you.”
“Dylan, you’re crazy.”
“He has been watching her. Talking with Chris just confirmed it.”
Dylan opened his closet. “This is the stuff I told you I found when I discovered his camp.” He pulled out the huge telescope placing it on the bed. “He had a clear view, right into Nicole’s room.”
“Shit, you found that?”
He reached back into the closet. “And these.” He set the binoculars on the bed. He grit his teeth to hold back his hate and handed Bradley a stack of pictures he found. “And these.”
“Oh my god. He was in the hos
pital. We were there all the time. How?”
He pulled out a wig and some fake teeth. “He has been wearing costumes. That bastard has been right under our noses. He has been watching us, Brad. What is he waiting for?”
Dylan sat on the bed. “I don’t know where to begin. For now I’ll keep making sure he is nowhere around the house. I have been making sure he doesn’t go back to that hide out. But I don’t think she is safe here anymore. I have to figure out how to track him. I should have left that stupid place untouched so he would go back to it. I could have ambushed him there.”
“I thought he was in hiding, I knew he was out there but…” Brad examined the stuff on Dylan’s bed.
“I went crazy. When I saw all this shit and realized he has been stalking her again. He uses aliases, so I can’t track credit cards. I’m hoping they find some prints on something I took or a scent or something. I brought the other stuff I took from Steve’s hideout to this guy Chris knows. Thank god Chris is coming in.” He pulled the curtains aside staring at the car parked in the distance. “They aren’t going to keep the area under surveillance forever. We’ve got to end this.”
Brad looked out the window. “I can’t believe Steve was watching us all this time.”
Dylan turned closing the curtains, “I have to go. I have to but she really messes with my head. She has totally fucked me up. I’d give everything up for her, but if I stay, I know she’ll never be safe. He’s sick. I don’t know what kind of game he is playing. We have to get rid of him. And I can’t be out there worrying about her, missing her, still in love with her. I have to be focused.”
Obsession and Sacrifice (Alaska #2) Page 14
