The Skeptics Annotated Bible

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The Skeptics Annotated Bible Page 5

by Wells, Steve


  9 But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned unto him into the ark, for the waters were on the face of the whole earth: then he put forth his hand, and took her, and pulled her in unto him into the ark.

  10 And he stayed yet other seven days; and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark;

  11 And the dove came in to him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth.

  12 And he stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; which returned not again unto him any more.

  13 And it came to pass in the six hundredth and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth: and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and, behold, the face of the ground was dry.

  (8.13) “In the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth.”

  39 When did the earth dry after the flood?

  14 And in the second month, on the seven and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dried.

  (8.14) “In the second month, on the seven and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dried.”

  39 When did the earth dry after the flood?

  15 And God spake unto Noah, saying,

  16 Go forth of the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons’ wives with thee.

  17 Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.

  18 And Noah went forth, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons’ wives with him:

  19 Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.

  (8.19) “Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl … went forth out of the ark.” When the animals left the ark, what would they have eaten? There would not have been any plants after the ground had been submerged for nearly a year. What would the carnivores have eaten? Whatever prey they ate would have gone extinct. And how did the New World monkeys or the Australian marsupials find their way back after the flood subsided?

  20 And Noah builded an altar unto the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar.

  21 And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man’s sake; for the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.

  (8.21a) “And the Lord smelled a sweet savor.” Noah kills the “clean beasts” and burns their dead bodies for God. According to 7.8-9 this would have caused the extinction of all “clean” animals since only two of each were taken onto the ark.

  20 Does God desire animal sacrifices?

  (8.21b) “I will not again curse the ground any more for man’s sake; for the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth.” God killed all living things (6.5) because humans are evil, and then promised not to do it again (8.21) because humans are evil. The mind of God is a frightening thing.

  40 Will God curse the earth?

  22 While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.

  GENESIS 9

  9 And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.

  (9.1) “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.” Although this would have been good advice for the mythical Noah, it is wrong for humankind as a whole. Overpopulation is one of our greatest problems, yet there is nothing in the Bible to address it.

  2 And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.

  (9.2a) “The fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast.” According to this verse, all animals fear humans. Although it is true that many do, many do not. Sharks and grizzly bears, for example, are generally much less afraid of us than we are of them.

  (9.2b) “Into your hands are they delivered.” God gave the animals to humans, and they can do whatever they please with them. This verse has been used by Bible believers to justify all kinds of cruelty to animals and environmental destruction.

  3 Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

  (9.3) “Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you.”

  13 Which animals may we eat?

  4 But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.

  (9.4) “But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.” God forbids eating meat without first draining the blood. Many Jehovah’s Witnesses have needlessly died because the Governing Body considers blood transfusions to be “eating blood.”

  5 And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man’s brother will I require the life of man.

  6 Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.

  (9.6) “Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed.” Then why did God put a mark on Cain (after he murdered Abel) so that others wouldn’t kill him? (4.15).

  23 Does God approve of capital punishment?

  7 And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.

  8 And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying,

  9 And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you;

  10 And with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth.

  11 And I will establish my covenant with you; neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.

  12 And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:

  13 I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.

  (9.13) “I do set my bow in the cloud.” God is rightly filled with remorse for having killed his creatures. He makes a deal with the animals, promising never to drown them all again. He even puts the rainbow in the sky so that whenever he sees it, it will remind him of his promise so that he won’t be tempted to do it again. (Every time God sees the rainbow he says to himself: “Oh, yeah…. That’s right. I promised not to drown the animals again. I guess I’ll have to find something else to do.”). But rainbows are caused by the nature of light, the refractive index of water, and the shape of raindrops. There were rainbows hundreds of millions of years before humans existed.

  14 And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud:

  15 And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.

  16 And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.

  17 And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth.

  18 And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.

  19 These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread.

  20 And
Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:

  21 And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

  (9.20-21) “Noah … drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.” The “just and righteous” Noah (6.9, 7.1) plants a vineyard, gets drunk, and lies around naked in his tent. His son, Ham, happens to see his father in this condition. When Noah sobers up and hears “what his young son had done unto him” (what did he do besides look at him?), he curses not Ham, who “saw the nakedness of his father,” but Ham’s son, Canaan. “A servant of servants shall he [Canaan] be unto his brethren.” This is a typical case of biblical justice, and is one of many Bible passages that has been used to justify slavery.

  41 Are we punished for the sins of others?

  22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.

  23 And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.

  24 And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.

  (9.24) “Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.” What did Ham do? Did he just look at his naked father or was there something more to it than that? Some have suggested that Ham committed homosexual rape on his drunken father, and that this was why Ham’s descendants were punished with slavery.

  42 Does God approve of slavery?

  25 And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

  26 And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.

  27 God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.

  28 And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.

  29 And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

  (9.29) “All the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years.”

  GENESIS 10

  10 Now these are the generations of the sons of Noah, Shem, Ham, and Japheth: and unto them were sons born after the flood.

  (10.1) “These are the generations” The entire tenth chapter is one of the many boring genealogies (see 1 Chr 1-9, Mt 1.1-17, Lk 3.23-28 for other examples) that we are told to avoid in 1 Tim 1.4 and Tit 3.9 (“Avoid foolish questions and genealogies.”)

  2 The sons of Japheth; Gomer, and Magog, and Madai, and Javan, and Tubal, and Meshech, and Tiras.

  3 And the sons of Gomer; Ashkenaz, and Riphath, and Togarmah.

  4 And the sons of Javan; Elishah, and Tarshish, Kittim, and Dodanim.

  5 By these were the isles of the Gentiles divided in their lands; every one after his tongue, after their families, in their nations.

  (10.5, 20, 31) “Every one after his tongue” These verses show that, contrary to 11.1, many languages existed before construction began on the tower of Babel.

  43 Were there languages before Babel?

  6 And the sons of Ham; Cush, and Mizraim, and Phut, and Canaan.

  7 And the sons of Cush; Seba, and Havilah, and Sabtah, and Raamah, and Sabtecha: and the sons of Raamah; Sheba, and Dedan.

  8 And Cush begat Nimrod: he began to be a mighty one in the earth.

  9 He was a mighty hunter before the LORD: wherefore it is said, Even as Nimrod the mighty hunter before the LORD.

  10 And the beginning of his kingdom was Babel, and Erech, and Accad, and Calneh, in the land of Shinar.

  11 Out of that land went forth Asshur, and builded Nineveh, and the city Rehoboth, and Calah,

  12 And Resen between Nineveh and Calah: the same is a great city.

  13 And Mizraim begat Ludim, and Anamim, and Lehabim, and Naphtuhim,

  14 And Pathrusim, and Casluhim, (out of whom came Philistim,) and Caphtorim.

  15 And Canaan begat Sidon his firstborn, and Heth,

  16 And the Jebusite, and the Amorite, and the Girgasite,

  17 And the Hivite, and the Arkite, and the Sinite,

  18 And the Arvadite, and the Zemarite, and the Hamathite: and afterward were the families of the Canaanites spread abroad.

  19 And the border of the Canaanites was from Sidon, as thou comest to Gerar, unto Gaza; as thou goest, unto Sodom, and Gomorrah, and Admah, and Zeboim, even unto Lasha.

  20 These are the sons of Ham, after their families, after their tongues, in their countries, and in their nations.

  21 Unto Shem also, the father of all the children of Eber, the brother of Japheth the elder, even to him were children born.

  22 The children of Shem; Elam, and Asshur, and Arphaxad, and Lud, and Aram.

  23 And the children of Aram; Uz, and Hul, and Gether, and Mash.

  24 And Arphaxad begat Salah; and Salah begat Eber.

  (10.24) “Arphaxad begat Salah.”

  44 Who was Salah’s father?

  25 And unto Eber were born two sons: the name of one was Peleg; for in his days was the earth divided; and his brother’s name was Joktan.

  (10.25) “Peleg; for in his days was the earth divided.” Some creationists believe that this verse (and 1 Chr 1.19) refers to continental drift, which, they say, began to occur during the days of Pelag (which means “division”), about 100 or so years after the flood.

  26 And Joktan begat Almodad, and Sheleph, and Hazarmaveth, and Jerah,

  27 And Hadoram, and Uzal, and Diklah,

  28 And Obal, and Abimael, and Sheba,

  29 And Ophir, and Havilah, and Jobab: all these were the sons of Joktan.

  30 And their dwelling was from Mesha, as thou goest unto Sephar a mount of the east.

  31 These are the sons of Shem, after their families, after their tongues, in their lands, after their nations.

  32 These are the families of the sons of Noah, after their generations, in their nations: and by these were the nations divided in the earth after the flood.

  GENESIS 11

  11 And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.

  (11.1) “The whole earth was of one language.” This could not be true, since by this time (supposedly around 2400 BCE) there were already many languages, each unintelligible to the others. This is even admitted earlier in Genesis (10.5, 20, 31) where other languages are mentioned before the tower of Babel was supposedly constructed.

  43 How many languages before Babel?

  2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.

  3 And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them throughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

  4 And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.

  5 And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.

  (11.5) “The Lord came down to see the city and the tower.” Couldn’t he see it from where he was sitting?

  18 Does God know everything?

  6 And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.

  (11.6) “Now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.” God worries that the people will succeed in building a tower high enough to reach him (them?) in heaven, and that by so doing they will become omnipotent.

  7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.

  (11.7) “Let us go down.” Maybe he hasn’t been talking to himself; maybe there is more than one of them up there. Well, however many there may be, they all decide to come down to confuse the builders by confounding language and scattering humans abroad.

  45 Is God the author
of confusion?

  9 How many gods are there?

  8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.

  9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.

  (11.9) “The LORD did there confound the language of all the earth.” 43 How many languages were there before Babel?

  10 These are the generations of Shem: Shem was an hundred years old, and begat Arphaxad two years after the flood:

  (11.10-32) “These are the generations of Shem.” Another boring genealogy that we are told to avoid in 1 Tim 1.4 and Tit 3.9. (“Avoid foolish questions and genealogies.”) Note the ridiculously long lives of the patriarchs.

  (11.10-11) Shem lived 600 years.

  11 And Shem lived after he begat Arphaxad five hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.

  12 And Arphaxad lived five and thirty years, and begat Salah:

  (11.12) “Arphaxad … begat Salah.”

  44 Who was Salah’s father?

  (11.12-13) Arphaxad lived 438 years.

  13 And Arphaxad lived after he begat Salah four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.

  14 And Salah lived thirty years, and begat Eber:

  15 And Salah lived after he begat Eber four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.

  (11.14-15) Salah lived 433 years.

  16 And Eber lived four and thirty years, and begat Peleg:

  17 And Eber lived after he begat Peleg four hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters.

  (11.16-17) Eber lived 464 years.

  18 And Peleg lived thirty years, and begat Reu:

  19 And Peleg lived after he begat Reu two hundred and nine years, and begat sons and daughters.

  (11.18-19) Peleg lived 239 years.

  20 And Reu lived two and thirty years, and begat Serug:

  21 And Reu lived after he begat Serug two hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters.

  (11.20-21) Reu lived 239 years.

  22 And Serug lived thirty years, and begat Nahor:

 

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