Sam felt the emotional punch to Bjorn’s gut as though she had received it. Sven spoke of Tait fondly. And he wasn’t reflecting on the past. No, he had seen Tait more recently.
“So you have stayed in contact with Tait?” Bjorn said.
“Of course,” Sven responded, his voice full of contempt. “Where you stayed to the shadows and only watched me over the years, he remained part of my life.”
Bjorn swallowed his hurt and anger and nodded, his voice soft. “I am glad he was there for you, Son.”
“Do not call me son,” Sven bit back. “You gave up that right a long time ago. When you allowed my mother to marry a monster not once but twice.” His eyes narrowed. “When you came and helped the people but always avoided me. As if I did not exist. As if I was a reminder of all the mistakes you had made.” Sven looked at him with disgust before he strode up the dock, throwing over his shoulder, “And there have been many.”
Bjorn said nothing but let Sven go.
Sam didn’t move but watched Bjorn for a long time, grateful nobody came out on the deck. If Mema Angie was good at nothing else, it was keeping people well entertained. Even stiffs like Lauren.
“You should go to him,” whispered through her mind. Näv? It was hard to tell. It was too distant.
“Especially now that he has found you,” whispered another voice. Sam frowned.
Vigdis?
Sam might be a seer, but she felt a million miles away from those nutso women. But then, in all honesty, she was, in more ways than one. Yet she found herself taking their advice as she grabbed the drinks and headed Bjorn’s way. Stiff, unbending, he had his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the storm edge closer.
Sam didn’t say anything but set the drinks aside, pulled off her shoes, rolled up her pants then sat on the end of the dock and put her feet in the water. She cracked her wine cooler open and set the beer down to her left, hoping he would take the hint.
The water was rougher than normal and the smell of sea salt heavy on the cool wind. It was a fitting oxymoron to the false calm he was trying to feel. Almost as if the weather itself tried to provoke him into acknowledging the turbulent emotions churning inside of him.
After a shallow swig from the wine cooler, she closed her eyes, tilted her head back and simply breathed. It was an exercise she had taught herself years ago when emotions became too much. When life nearly got the better of her. Yet when she did it this time, she didn’t do it for her but for him. If they were in one another’s minds, she might as well put it to good use.
Bjorn said nothing but she felt him, his heaviness within her thoughts, her chest, then somewhere deeper. He carried a great weight, but she was willing to hold it. Help him. Anything to unburden the pain he felt.
“What about your own pain, Samantha?” he murmured.
She had no idea if he said it aloud or in her mind.
“We’re not talking about me right now,” she whispered as if they had been carrying on a conversation.
“I am beginning to believe that talking about one of us means talking about the other,” he said, this time clearly aloud. “That we are far more connected than either of us has admitted.”
Heat flared beneath her skin as she remembered shifting and becoming something different. Yet it was so brief, so fast. Still. Sam knew she had become a dragon. That things were never going to be the same again.
Not for her.
Not for anyone around her.
Yet she wasn’t afraid. Not at all. And it had everything to do with Bjorn. The sense that he would be there…that he would help her through. “What did I look like in dragon form?” she asked, eager to draw him away from his dark thoughts. “Was I as pasty white as I think I was?”
“You were not…” his voice broke off, and he said nothing for a long stretch before he yanked off his boots and sat next to her, not bothering to roll up his leather pants as he sunk his feet into the water. He kept his eyes on the incoming storm. “I have never seen a more magnificent dragon.”
Though she was truly flattered he thought so and wanted to know more, she figured that could wait until later. Right now she wanted to comfort him.
Her eyes slid to his face, to the chiseled lines of his profile and the hard set of his jaw. “Sven only acts like he does because he wants you back in his life, Bjorn. He saved us by pushing me to embrace my dragon. And he did it to get closer to you.” She shook her head. “The kid’s got one heck of a strategic mind.” She put her hand over his on the dock. “He’s got your mind.”
“I’m not sure that is a good thing,” he murmured, his eyes finally drifting to her. “I am not a good example for the boy.”
“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I was aware of what you did when I shifted into a dragon. I might’ve been rip-roaring mad, but I felt it…knew it somehow.” Sam wrapped her fingers with his. “All you could think about when I went pyro was protecting Sven, Katla and Tait. As far as I’m concerned, that makes you hero material. And what better example is that for your son?”
She squeezed his hand and held his eyes. “You showed him courage and perseverance. You showed him you loved him even as he hated you. That you still saw him as your child and never as the enemy. It doesn’t matter if you knew what he was up to. That he wasn’t really allied with the bad guys. Because he didn’t know that you knew.”
Bjorn didn’t seem surprised or offended that she had heard his conversation with Sven. “I can only hope that you are right.”
“I’m sure of it.” She cocked her head. “Do you mind if I ask you something personal?”
His eyes met hers. “You can ask me anything, Samantha.”
She hoped that was true.
“Based on your carvings in Håkon’s tunnel at the Dragon Lair, Håkon shifted for the first time when he was very young. Younger than Sven was when Katla took him. Yet I sense Sven didn’t shift before that when he was with you.” Her eyes searched his. “How come?”
“Every dragon is different,” Bjorn said softly. “In Sven’s case, we assumed he was what you would call a late bloomer. I worked with him often as did my kin, but he was stubborn and would not embrace the magic to shift.”
Sam knew he wasn’t telling her everything. “There’s more, isn’t there? Another reason.”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Just tell me,” she whispered, sifting through his turbulent thoughts before she found what she was looking for and spoke before he could. “He was affected by the difficulties in your marriage.” She frowned. “You and Katla tried to keep it from him, but he knew. And you both speculated that was why he didn’t shift.”
“We never knew for sure,” he murmured. “And now it no longer matters.”
Sam sighed, a heavy frown in place. “So I was an unknowing homewrecker in more ways than one.”
“The word unknowing proves you were no such thing, Samantha,” he said.
“Maybe,” she murmured. “But I still feel terrible.”
“Well, you should not.” His eyes held hers as thunder rumbled closer. “You are not at fault for all that happened. Yet you still worry about my family and me. You worry despite everything you just experienced. How it felt to embrace your dragon. You have so many questions about what you became and what you did yet…” He wrapped his hand more securely with hers. “Yet your only concern lies in helping me and mine. You are a good person. One I am grateful to know. One who should not feel terrible because she did nothing wrong.”
Sam could only pray he was right.
Yet she knew he believed his own words. That he didn’t blame her for any of it.
And that made a world of difference.
It also freed her mind to refocus on what happened earlier. How it felt to become a dragon.
Caught by the intensity in his gaze, heat flared beneath her skin again. Ill-timed attraction. So she tore her eyes away and focused on the storm. One that matched what was building inside her. The rage she felt at the en
emy for treating Bjorn so poorly. The anger she felt for the years lost with his son. The fury she felt toward Rick but never truly got to unleash.
“I was really angry when I became a dragon,” she whispered. “So damn angry.” Sam shook her head, her eyes still on the horizon. “But although I breathed fire and seemed to let it go, I still feel…”
When she trailed off, he filled in the blanks. “Unfulfilled. That though you tried to say something with fire and rage, what you needed to be released was not. You still feel like some part of you is bitter…lost.”
Sam’s eyes shot to his. “Exactly.”
“Not anymore, Samantha,” he said softly. “Because you are releasing it. Maybe not all at once, but you are. And you’re not alone. I am here. I can feel you. Who you were. Who you are becoming.” She remained perfectly still when he touched her cheek and murmured, “You are not lost anymore.”
“Thanks,” she murmured, caught off guard by his words, by how heartfelt they were. “That’s nice of you to say.”
“It is true.”
She became so aware of his touch, the feel of his finger skimming slowly along her jawline, that she could barely breathe never mind respond. When Bjorn inhaled then released a deep chested sound of appreciation, she knew it was because of her arousal. One she couldn’t stop if she wanted to. Flashes of what they had shared in the small cave flickered through her mind…and his.
“I liked…” he began, struggling with his words before his eyes met hers. “I am happy you no longer desire your former husband.”
She closed her eyes and whispered, “I haven’t for a long time,” as his fingers trailed down her neck.
“He was very foolish,” Bjorn said softly. “To have taken another woman.”
Not sure she was ready to have this conversation, she pulled away and looked at the ocean. “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s all behind me now.”
“Perhaps,” he murmured. “Yet it still hurts you.”
Though tempted to change the subject, she realized he was trying to communicate Trying to understand her better. More than that? If he was willing to let her in about his son and his life, shouldn’t she be willing to do the same? So she would share. Some things. Not all. Especially not what she believed truly drove her and Rick apart.
“I met Rick when I was fifteen, and he was seventeen. I was a freshman in high school. He was a senior. People said we were meant for each other from the get-go. We were both fairly popular and studied hard. He was my best friend.” Sam reflected on all the dreams they’d mapped out. “We were destined for great things.” She swallowed. “We were destined to be together.”
Or so that young teenage girl had thought. So foolish.
Bjorn remained silent as she reflected on her past. Now she was grateful it was October, and the Atlantic was so cold. It helped chill her feet as angry heat rolled beneath her skin.
“The only problem with being destined for someone is that I started to plan my life around his,” she continued. “I always knew Rick was intelligent but truly had no idea until he went on to college and advanced faster than most. By the time I graduated from high school he was already on a fast track to his political career. So instead of starting college, I put my life on hold to help him study and learn. Then I became the perfect little wife on his arm as he became the youngest governor in history.”
While she sensed Bjorn had questions about some of her terminology, he said nothing as she continued.
“Ironically enough, though I did everything I could to stay close to him and create that life we were destined for, I began to realize we were worlds apart,” Sam murmured. “All we talked about was his career. How far he had come. How far he would go.” She sighed. “We never talked about me because truthfully, there was nothing to talk about. I hadn’t pursued a career. Heck, I never even got around to going to college. And you know the worst thing about it?” She shook her head and looked at him. “I had no one to blame but myself.”
He considered her for a few moments before he spoke. “I have not had many friendships, but I can speak toward that which I share with Heidrek.” His eyes held hers. “While I helped him prepare to become king over the years, he, in turn, was always there to help me with my endeavors. Sometimes it was as simple as building my lodge or helping me train to become a better warrior.” He gave her a pointed look. “He did not do these things to better his future kingdom but because he was my friend. Because there are two sides to a friendship, yes?”
Sam blinked away moisture and whispered, “There’s supposed to be.”
Yet again, Bjorn amazed her with his astuteness.
“I would like to be your friend, Samantha.” He searched her eyes. “I would like to teach you how to fight like a Viking warrior and to show you other things you might not know.” Before she could respond, he said, “And in exchange, you can do the same for me.” His voice grew softer. “Perhaps how to embrace this happiness you speak of. The place you help others go when they divorce?”
Sam couldn’t help a small grin. He was trying so hard. And he meant every last word. “I’d be honored to help you move on from some of the bullshit life’s dished your way, Bjorn. As to you teaching me stuff, sure, that’d be nice but…” Her grin dropped as she turned her eyes back to the water. “Outside of learning how to fight better for everything that might lie ahead, I’m not sure any other Viking skills will do me much good in this era.”
Which sent a very clear message.
She didn’t intend to live in the past…both figuratively and literally.
While she almost expected him to say, “But you belong to me, woman,” he didn’t. Instead, he handed her the wine cooler and drank from his beer before he nodded. “I told you I would like to be your friend. If that means letting you go, then I will do so.”
“Thanks.” She was more than shocked by his words, by how anti-Bjorn they seemed. “I’ve worked my butt off getting my new career off the ground, and I really enjoy it.” Her eyes turned back to him. “I already gave up my dreams once.”
The truth was, she never really had a solid dream for herself. Ideas. Thoughts. Speculations. But nothing solid. Now she was doing something that though there wasn’t much cash in it yet, she was helping people, making them happy. There was nothing like seeing joy finally radiate from someone who had been depressed for so long. To know that she was a part of making that happen.
“I saw you with my people at the Fortress. Those whose relationships had ended,” Bjorn said. “You made them happy. And many were in need of it.”
Sam had to remember that he was inside her mind now. And while she sensed his heart was in the right place, she also knew he was intelligent enough to manipulate her. If she could find the same happiness in Scandinavia as she could here plus be with him, why not remain there?
“So you were watching me that closely, huh?” She slanted him a look. “Who knew?”
“Not many,” he said.
“I didn’t mean that literally.” Sam chuckled then cocked her head at him. “Though everyone thought you were up in those mountains most of the time, you weren’t, were you?”
“No. I was often near you,” he said softly. “You spent long hours staring at the mountains... looking for me.”
Her brows perked. “How near to me were you?”
“A stone’s throw,” he said. “There is nothing but forest in the back of that lodge. The one you called yours while you were there.”
Their eyes held, and her heart skipped a beat at the thought of him being so close the whole time. At the idea of him watching her when she didn’t know it.
“It was a beautiful lodge,” she whispered, remembering the high ceilings and incredible workmanship. “Whoever built it knew what they were doing.”
“It was mine,” he murmured.
The way he was looking at her changed. Desire grew in his eyes. Interest mixed with anger. Lust mixed with denial. Then an overwhelming need to protect her, to keep her close.
Though confused by his varied emotions at first, she soon realized why he was feeling them.
To show her what he felt at the time.
How he felt when he watched her from the woods at the Fortress.
“You wanted me back then,” she murmured as rain started to spit.
“I did,” he confirmed, his voice growing a little gruff. “But then we all did.”
She knew all meant the male dragons.
“I guess.” She eyed him. “But then they made it pretty obvious. You? Heck, no.”
“Should I have, Samantha?” he asked as thunder cracked and the sea grew rougher. “Did you want me to?”
Surprisingly enough, she didn’t need to give it a second thought. “Yes.” She felt the draw to him as intensely then as she did now. “You more than anyone.”
It didn’t matter that the sun had set, and rain fell harder as their eyes held. She wasn’t bothered in the least by the cold. Granted, it was unseasonably warm for this time of year, but it wouldn’t matter. She was burning up. As if he felt the same way, Bjorn stood and undressed.
“What are you doing?” Her eyes widened on his evident arousal. “They might see us from inside.”
“I do not care,” he said. “Undress and follow me, Samantha.”
“Follow you where?” She looked from the ocean to the stormy skies then back to him. “Surely not into the water. Not in October.”
“The water will affect you differently now. It will give you the relief you need.” His confident eyes met hers. “As will I.”
That was the last she heard from him before he dove off, slipped beneath the dark sea…
And never came up.
Chapter Thirteen
BJORN STAYED UNDERWATER and watched Samantha. Though moonlight had vanished and the ocean was more turbulent, his dragon senses allowed him to see and hear her clearly. He pushed how pleasurable the water felt into her mind. He urged her to join him. That he wanted to show her new things. Make her feel new things.
Vengeance of a Viking (The MacLomain Series: Viking Ancestors' Kin Book 2) Page 18
