by Chris Taylor
Hannah chuckled without humor. “It isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I would have given anything for a sister or brother. It’s probably why I fell so hard and fast for Luke. I was searching desperately for a soul mate, someone who could help ease the loneliness.”
“Yes… Well…” Jacob cleared his throat.
Hannah sighed quietly. Jacob wasn’t comfortable talking about her boyfriend and her feelings of loss. She could understand why. The last time they’d spoken about Luke, she’d told Jacob she could never forgive him and though she still ached with loss every time she thought about Luke and the future that had been taken away so suddenly, the pain was easing. For the first time, she couldn’t help but wonder if one day, it might not be there at all.
“I’m taking Toby to the rodeo out in Picton tomorrow night. I was wondering… That is, Toby was wondering if you…if you might like to come along.”
Butterflies took flight in Hannah’s stomach and she searched desperately for something to say. A part of her wanted to leap at the invitation, but the rest of her urged caution. Was it fair to either of them to resume a friendship? To take back up where they’d left off all those years ago? Could she put Luke’s tragic death behind them and truly move forward?
And what about Toby? Was it fair to him to encourage a closeness and togetherness that might not last more than a few outings? Working side by side in the funeral home, they’d reignited their friendship. Though it was ten years or more in the past, in a lot of ways, the connection between them was as if it had never been broken.
“He’s really fond of you, Hannah,” Jacob continued, interrupting her tortured thoughts. “You’re all he talks about when we’re together. Please, say you’ll come.”
Hannah was wracked with indecision. She wanted to say yes, but the more sensible side of her wondered if it was the wisest thing to do. It was true that she enjoyed Toby’s company and it was getting harder and harder to maintain her distance from Jacob, but did that mean she should just forget about the past decade by throwing caution to the wind?
“Please, Hannah. Just a few hours. I’ll drive us all out there and back. It would mean so much to Toby…and to me.”
Hannah recalled him telling her about his father and the rodeos. She thought of the black cowboy hat and felt herself weakening.
“All right, I’ll come,” she said and immediately wondered if she’d done the right thing. When Jacob responded, she could hear the smile in his voice.
“Really? That’s great. Wait until I tell Toby. Thank you for the phone, by the way. I offered to get him one the night we came across each other in the hospital, but he refused my offers for help. I guess he’s in a better place now, or maybe he just feels more comfortable accepting help from you. I don’t know, I was jealous for a bit, but now I’m grateful for whatever it is.”
A warm glow spread inside Hannah’s belly. She smiled softly. “Jealous? You have no need. He loves you; there’s no question. Besides, I’m more than happy to do it. Toby’s like the little brother I never had. I know we’re the same age—but…you know…”
“What I know is that you have a beautiful heart, Hannah Langdon,” Jacob replied.
His deep voice glided over her and all of a sudden, she felt tongue-tied and flustered. “I-I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night,” she managed.
“Great. I’ll drop by and pick you both up around six.”
* * *
Max pushed back a hank of white hair that had fallen across his eyes. His pen moved with quiet efficiency across the pages on his desk. The business of dying was thriving and grieving relatives would often pay a hefty price to see their loved ones farewelled in style. Max kept a range of coffins, but made certain the ones with all the gold trimmings were more visible than the rest. It seemed to work. He sold the top-of-the-line coffin to his customers more often than not. Nobody wanted to be seen pinching pennies at a time like that. If he weren’t so impatient, he could die an extremely wealthy man.
The problem was, he wanted the money now. There were things he wanted to do with his life. He’d taken in his nephew with the hope the man would learn the business and take over from him when he retired, but it wasn’t working out like that.
Bobby was next to useless. He should have known that, before he picked the man up off the streets. The fellow’s mother had been weak and stupid, her head turned by the first man who gave her a smile. The asshole waited around just long enough to get Mary-Jane pregnant and then he’d taken off running. Max ought to have known a boy who’d grown up without ever knowing his father would turn out to be no good.
Still, he’d wanted to leave the business to someone and family meant more to him than most, even family as useless as his nephew. So, he’d done his best to encourage the boy, but his efforts had come to nought. Recently he’d come up with another plan, one that would make good use of the boy’s dubious reputation and skills.
Now, everything was going as it should be and retirement was almost within his grasp. All he needed to do was stay calm and wait out the skirmish that appeared likely to happen just around the bend.
With a flourish, he added his signature to the bottom of the page. The invoice totaled fifteen thousand dollars. Not bad for a couple days’ work. So much more than what it cost him in wages to see the job done.
Yes, if only he was a little more patient, there’d be no need for Plan B.
The problem was, patience had never been one of his virtues and that’s just the way it was.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The upbeat country music reached them clear across the car park and sent a tingle of excitement running down Hannah’s spine. People poured out from everywhere, all heading toward the rodeo ring that was lit up like a football stadium at night. She’d never been to a live rodeo and she was genuinely looking forward to it. Over the last few days, she’d begun to realize that spending time with Jacob was something else she was looking forward to, although it was difficult to admit.
Ever since she’d agreed to his invitation, she’d been thinking about what letting go of the past might mean. Her memories of Luke and the night he died were so ingrained in her psyche, she didn’t know if she could let it go, even if she wanted to.
But somewhere in the early hours of the morning, after tossing and turning most of the night, she’d come to the decision that she wanted to try. She’d woken, tired and with gritty eyes, but ready to face what needed to be done.
The day had dragged by and even with Toby to distract her, it had felt like a lifetime before five o’clock swung by. With a quick farewell to Max, who sat in his office, busy sorting the usual invoices, customer orders and doing all the other administrative tasks he attended to every day, she and Toby climbed into her Mazda and headed for home.
They were caught in a traffic jam on Cleveland Street, so they barely had enough time to shower and change before Jacob knocked on her door. She watched Toby greeting his brother with an enthusiastic hug, excited to be attending the rodeo. Earlier, he’d confided he was even more excited that she and his brother were getting along.
Hannah’s greeting was much more subdued and at the sight of Jacob dressed casually in Levis and a chambray shirt and with his father’s black cowboy hat in hand, she was immediately beset with nerves. Even so, she managed a smile and was sincere when she told him she was very much looking forward to attending her first rodeo.
“Come on, we don’t want to be late,” Toby said, urging them toward the front door.
Hannah stifled a grin. It was good to see Toby so animated. Though he often assured her how much he enjoyed his work at the funeral parlor, the somber tone of the place didn’t give rise to much frivolity and laughter. Over the weeks, ingrained dirt and the effects of years of hard living had slowly disappeared and he was almost the Toby of old. The more he returned to the boy she remembered from her childhood, the more he looked like his twin.
“Are you ready?”
As Jacob’s deep voice slid over
her, a shiver of awareness coursed down her spine. She’d never allowed herself to think of him as a potential boyfriend and had refused to dwell on his sinfully dark good looks.
His short hair was so dark it was almost black and his olive complexion reflected his European heritage. She knew his mother’s family originated from France and his father had emigrated from Spain. It was a deadly combination of steamy dark Latino looks, teamed with an air of sad vulnerability. It did strange things to her equilibrium.
Collecting a fringed leather jacket from the coat tree in the corner of the entryway, Hannah stood back and allowed Jacob to open the door. With his arm, he indicated that she should precede him. His old-fashioned manners surprised her once again and she nodded her thanks with a smile. It was nice to be treated like a lady, if only for a night.
Toby bounced out behind her and Hannah laughed at his exuberance. “You really like the rodeo, don’t you?” She chuckled.
Toby gave her a wide grin. “Yes, I really do. My dad was a rodeo rider, did you know that? Before I was born. Mom showed me all the pictures. He was really cool and he wore a real cowboy hat. The same one Jacob’s got. Did you see it?”
Hannah glanced at Jacob, who followed closely behind, and then returned her attention to his twin. “Yes, I saw it. It suits him. Was your dad as handsome as he is?”
The words fell out of her mouth and she couldn’t drag them back. Heat crept up her cheeks. She didn’t dare look back to Jacob. To her relief, Toby laughed.
“Jacob! Handsome! Ha! Hannah, you say the funniest things. If you think he’s handsome, then I guess that means I am too, right?”
His laughter was contagious and Hannah grinned and shook her head. She couldn’t believe how oblivious Toby was to his good looks. It was almost as if he’d never noticed. Then she thought about it a moment and realized it wasn’t inconceivable at all. He looked at the world through eyes that were as innocent as a child’s and physical appeal didn’t rate a mention.
Thankfully, Jacob didn’t offer any additional comment other than to direct her to his twin cab truck, which was parked on the street opposite her apartment block. A silver Ford Lariat stood under the street lights, looking very shiny and clean. Toby let out a whoop of glee.
“You brought the truck, Jake! Cool! Can I sit in the front? Can I?”
Jacob smiled with fondness at his brother, but slowly shook his head. “I don’t think so, buddy. I was hoping you might let Hannah ride up front. She’s a lady, and ladies first, remember. She’s probably never been in a twin cab truck.” He turned to face her, the smile still on his lips. “Am I right?”
The teasing light in his eyes stole her breath. “You’re right,” she managed and then added, “but I’m more than happy to sit in the back.”
“Sit up front, Hannah! Sit up front!” Toby insisted, taking her hand and pulling her toward the front passenger side door. “It’s way more fun than being in the back.”
She laughed and went along with him, having no other choice. Toby pulled open the door. Even with Hannah’s generous height, the step up from the running board into the cab was a challenge. She laughed again when Toby did his best to help her into the seat.
“There!” he sighed, looking more than pleased. “How’s the view, Hannah? Isn’t it great?”
Jacob slid behind the wheel and waited for Toby to get settled in the back before he started the engine. It growled with power and authority beneath Hannah’s feet. Like its owner, the truck was all male.
They’d made good time out of the eastern suburbs and before too long, found themselves on the motorway heading west. Toby kept up a monologue, cataloguing the seemingly endless virtues of the Lariat.
“I think Toby’s a little in love with your truck,” she murmured, sneaking a peek at the man who steered the large vehicle in and out of the traffic with expert precision.
He shot her a deadpan look. “You think?”
She chuckled. “I didn’t realize the two of you had been spending so much time together. I thought Toby was coming home on public transport. I’ve offered to drive him home nearly every day since he started working, but most of the time he declines and asks me to drop him off at the nearest station.”
Jacob continued to stare at the road in front of him. “I’ve been collecting him from the station,” he admitted quietly. We’ve been going out for a drink, or a coffee. Sometimes we just go for a drive. We lost so much time together. It’s almost as if we’re trying to get some of it back.”
She nodded and wondered why Toby hadn’t told her his brother was giving him a ride home after work. As if reading her mind, Jacob spoke again.
“I asked him not to tell you. I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me and I could hardly turn up at your place of work to collect him without you knowing about it and perhaps having to go to the trouble of avoiding me. I didn’t want to make things awkward for you. The last couple times we saw each other, we didn’t exactly leave on friendly terms.”
Hannah blushed, remembering how she’d left early from the ball and her outburst the night she came over to his apartment. Both seemed like a lifetime ago.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”
“It’s all right. You were only speaking the truth.”
She glanced at him, but he continued to look straight ahead. She sighed quietly until they pulled into the fairgrounds and he pulled the car to a stop. Before she had time to open the door, Jacob had come around the front of the truck and opened it with a flourish. She had to grab his hand to climb down and stumbled a bit on impact, falling into his hard wall of a chest. She quickly stepped back, but not before she’d breathed in the musky smell of him. Eye contact wasn’t something she wanted as they waited for Toby to join them.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Jacob said and opened the rear door. He pulled out two cream-colored cowboy hats and gave one to her and Toby.
“Gee, thanks, Jake! This is so cool! Does it look good?” Toby laughed, happiness shining in his eyes.
Hannah smiled and nodded her thanks and set the hat upon her head. With a soft look, Jacob keyed the lock and as the truck beeped behind them, they set out.
The sounds and smells of the rodeo loomed closer and a fresh wave of excitement surged through Hannah’s veins. She calmed the erratic beating of her heart and slowed her breathing, then looked around. Almost everyone was wearing a cowboy hat, mostly white or black or tan. Her gaze drifted to Jacob where he walked beside her and she silently agreed with her earlier assessment: He looked good in a cowboy hat. Better than good.
“Let’s get some hotdogs and soda before we go up into the stands. I got paid today! My treat,” Toby said, loping along beside them, his eyes gleaming with excitement.
“Sounds like a good plan, buddy,” Jacob replied and gave his brother a smile. “Just stay close, all right. I don’t want to lose you in the crowd.”
Hannah’s heart clenched at the tenderness in Jacob’s eyes. It was obvious he loved his twin more than anything and she was sure he’d protect him with his life. That was the reason he felt such concern that Bobby was still on the loose—and not only on the loose, but frequently in close proximity to his brother.
Jacob had asked her to look out for Toby, and Hannah had taken her responsibilities seriously. From the moment Jacob informed her of Lane’s discoveries, she’d kept Toby well out of the way of Max’s nephew. But she’d worried when Toby wanted to be dropped at the bus station because she tried to know where he was at all times. Whether Bobby had devious intentions toward Max’s newest employee, or not, she wasn’t going to allow anything to happen to him on her watch.
She’d always felt protective of Toby, even when they were teens. She guessed it had something to with the fact that Toby’s trustworthy nature meant that less honorable people often took advantage of him. Though Jacob was a fierce protector of his brother, Hannah also felt that way. Between the two of them, they’d kept him safe.
Luke hadn’t understood her need to look out for and champion Toby’s cause. It was the only thing they’d argued about. Hannah suspected Luke had been jealous of Toby and she’d gone to pains to reassure her boyfriend that there was nobody for her, but him.
And then he was dead and there was no longer any need to discuss or even think about her relationship with Toby Black. He was the brother of the man who’d killed her boyfriend. She’d cut all ties with both of them.
The sad thoughts dampened her mood. Jacob turned and stared down at her, an indefinable expression in his eyes.
“What is it?” he asked softly, his gaze probing hers.
She shook her head in dismissal. Only the night before, she’d vowed to put the past behind her, to let go of the hurt and pain. And she was about to enjoy her first rodeo. Now wasn’t the time to belabor things that couldn’t be changed.
“It’s nothing,” she said and managed a half-convincing smile. “Tell me who’s who in the world of rodeo.”
* * *
It was way past midnight when Jacob pulled up the Lariat outside Hannah’s apartment block. His brother was already asleep in the back seat. They’d enjoyed a night of fun and laughter, of the highs and lows that went with being part of the audience at a professional bull riding event.
He’d been thrilled when Hannah had screamed and grabbed hold of his hand every time it looked like the cowboy was going to be trampled by the bull and again when she shouted in triumph each time a competitor made it through. The eight-second count had seemed to last a lifetime.
He thought of his father and wondered if Warren Black had missed the feel of the powerful beast between his thighs and the thrill of the high stakes that came with being brave enough to climb on the back of a bucking bull. From what Jacob could tell, the riders were addicted to the adrenaline rush, like a junkie was to their next hit. Instead of pursuing that high-stakes career, his dad had taken on the more responsible role of police officer. Sure, it came with its moments of tension and high drama, but Jacob guessed police work had nothing on riding a wild bull.
