“I aim to please, Faith.” I laughed.
“Be good to each other. And laugh a lot. She’s had enough tears in her life up until now. She needs more laughter.” She patted my cheek.
“I promise.” I crossed my heart with my fingers, earning a megawatt Faith smile.
Charity was next, a huge smile on her face.
“Make her happy. That’s all I ask. She’s amazing, and I think you deserve her as much as any man in the world ever could.”
“I’ll do my best to live up to that,” I replied.
“I think you’ll be fine. The way that you look at each other is kind of intense.” She looked away for a moment.
Intense was exactly how I would describe how I felt about Grace. She made me see the world in a different way.
Grace and I slipped into a limo, finally alone for a moment, to drive to the hotel for the reception.
“You’re my wife now.” I grinned, feeling giddy.
“I am. And you’re my husband.” Her smile matched mine.
“Did I do it right?” I hoped that I had given her the wedding of her dreams.
“Logan, this was so much more. I can’t believe this is real life. We got married, in Paris, less than a day after getting engaged. My family was there, yours was there, well, minus Shai, but she shouldn’t be traveling anyway. Your vows, I’ll remember them for the rest of my life.” She pressed my hand to her heart. “You’re so much more than I deserve.”
“I think you have that the wrong way, Kitten. With everything I have done in my life, my actions should not have led me to you. On paper, I don’t deserve you, but I’m selfish enough to keep up.” I kissed her wrist, feeling her pulse race against my lips.
“I have a question.” She looked at me with those big wide eyes of hers.
“Okay.” I kissed her fingers.
“Why wasn’t your mom here?” Her tone was tentative.
I sighed. “I didn’t invite her. I know if I had she would have come, but I didn’t want her here. She doesn’t deserve to be a part of my happiness when she was the cause of so much of my sadness. Does that make sense? Am I awful for not including her?”
“Of course, it makes sense. I just wondered. Baby, you’re everything, you could never be awful in my eyes.” She sighed, a fresh set of tears wetting her cheeks. “I can’t seem to stop crying today. My heart’s going to burst from all the love.”
“I feel the same. By the way, you look amazing. I thought my heart would stop when you appeared in the doorway. It shouldn’t be legal for you to look so good.” I kissed her. “That dress. Satin.” I breathed into her lips. “You know what satin does to me.”
Her lips turned up in a smile. “Why do you think I picked it? I put it on and knew it was the one. Wait until you see what I have on underneath it.” She winked.
I moved to lift her skirt, and she slapped my hand away. “Nuh-uh, you have to wait until tonight. I’m not showing up to my reception all sweaty with wonky looking make-up.”
“Not even a little sweaty?” I licked at my lower lip, wishing I was tasting her.
“If you think you can seduce me into ruining all this perfection?” She paused and ran her hands down her sides. “You might be right.” She giggled. “But I’m begging you not to ruin me before we have to take a zillion pictures.”
“You win. I’ll be on my best behavior until tonight. And then, my love, you play by my rules.”
She swallowed visibly, and color bloomed in her cheeks. “I promise to obey.” She bit her lip.
“Careful. I promised you that I’d be good, but I can only be pushed so far.” I kissed her fingers.
The limo stopped, and I helped Grace out onto the sidewalk. Our family was arriving at the same time, everyone laughing and talking loudly. We were quite a group.
Late into the reception, as I danced with Grace, I thought to myself that I was the luckiest man alive.
I held her hand in mine pressed against both our hearts, her other hand wrapped around my neck. This was heaven, swaying with her to the music.
After a million good-byes and promises to call when we could, Grace and I were alone in our room once again.
She stood in front of the window, the moonlight streaming in around her, covering her in a soft silvery light. I trailed my lips along her shoulders and down her back to the edge of her dress.
I undid the buttons, one by one, until her gown pooled at her ankles. “Jesus,” I hissed, seeing all the white lace that had been hidden from sight all day. No bra, but lacy white panties and a garter belt to hold up her white silk stockings.
She turned to face me, her breasts rubbing against my chest, driving me mad. “I believe there was some talk about me following all your rules tonight?” She sucked her lower lip into her mouth.
“So, there was.” I walked around her, trailing my fingers across her smooth skin. “And just what should I do with you tonight?” I leaned down and kissed her neck.
“I could probably think of a few things.” She stepped out of her dress and walked to the bed, bending over slightly.
“Fuck,” I growled. “You asked for it.” I tore my clothes off and dove at her on the bed.
MARRIED. I WAS A MARRIED woman now. Logan and I had returned from Paris a week ago, and things were slowly getting back to some semblance of normal. I was back at work, kicking ass and taking names. It surprised me how much I had missed it, the hustle and bustle, the deadlines.
We were in the process of deciding if we would stay in Chicago or move to New York. He had a lot of compelling arguments for moving; his business was located there, blah, blah. I didn’t want to move away from my family, but maybe it was time to grow up and be a big girl.
“I think you’re right,” I said suddenly over dinner.
“Right about what exactly?” He arched a brow.
“Sorry, I was having a conversation with you in my head.” I smiled.
“Well, I’m glad to hear that I’m right even in your fictional conversations.”
“Shut up.” I tossed a napkin at him. “As I was saying, I think you’re right. We should move to New York. It doesn’t make sense for us to stay when your whole business is in New York.” I stabbed at my salad. Just because I knew it was the right choice didn’t mean I was super excited about it.
“Okay, we’ll move then.” He nodded and went back to cutting his steak.
“No gloating?” I looked at him; he was the picture of innocence.
“None whatsoever.” He wouldn’t look at me.
“Logan.” I put my fork down.
“What? I’m happy you finally see it my way. I don’t want to be an ass and gloat. Give me a little credit here, Kitten, I think I’m showing remarkable restraint.” There was that grin again, the one that made me weak in the knees.
“I love you.” I kicked my shoe off under the table and rubbed my toes along his ankle.
“Are you playing footsy with me?” He laughed. “I don’t know that anyone has actually ever played footsy with me.”
“There’s a first time for everything, right?”
“Now that we’re on the topic of making changes, I think you should stop taking the pill.” He caught my foot in his hand as I inched my way to his knees.
“Really?” I knew I was ready; it just surprised me that he was, too.
“I want to start a family with you, Kitten. To have little babies that look like us running around.”
I wondered if he was thinking about Jackson. He never really talked about him. The need to give him a child was so strong. I could never erase his pain, but this might help ease it.
“I want that, too, baby. So, we’re going to do this for real?” My heart picked up its beat and threatened to run away with me. I had wanted to be a mom for as long as I could remember.
He got up from his seat and pulled me up from mine. “We’ll make beautiful babies together, Kitten. Plus, the baby making is the best part.” He grinned wickedly and kissed me.
After he had gone to sleep, I called my mom to break the news that we would be moving.
“What do you mean you’re moving?” She didn’t at all sound happy about this.
“You knew this wouldn’t be permanent, right? Logan has his work there. He came here for me, and now he has me.” I sighed.
“I don’t want you to go. First it will be you, and then Faith will want to move there to be with Smith. Charity’s already halfway across the world. You girls are going to break my heart.”
“Oh, Mom. Stop that. We’re grown-ass adults. And it’s like a two-hour flight to come see me in New York.”
“I knew this day would come eventually.” She sighed. “I just like having you all together here. It makes me happy.”
“Well, I have some other news that might brighten your day,” I whispered into the phone. I didn’t know if we were officially telling people, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“What’s that?” She perked right up.
“Logan and I are going to start trying to have a baby.” I curled up on the couch and stared at the curtains blowing in the breeze.
“Really? That’s wonderful, honey! But isn’t a little soon? Not that I’m complaining.”
“Since when have Logan and I ever followed the rules? This just feels right to us.”
“Then it’s right,” she said. “But, man, do I hate you for moving and taking away potential grandbabies.” Her laughter filled my ears.
“You still have Gray,” I pointed out
“That’s true,” she conceded.
“Okay, I need to get to bed so I can go in and tackle the world’s advertising problems in the morning. Love you, Mama.” I made kissy noises into the phone.
“Love you, too, sugar pie.”
When I crawled into bed next to Logan, he surprised me by not being asleep.
“How did she take the news about us moving?” He rolled over to face me.
“Better once I told her about potential babies.” I grinned and snuggled against him.
“I thought that might soften the blow. Are you nervous about this?” He was suddenly serious.
“It’s all scary. You never know what could happen. But I’m excited to start this new life with you. We have nothing but endless possibilities before us.”
“I’m scared, too. I keep thinking about Jackson and all the things I never got to show him. I want to give our kids everything I never had. All the love I craved but never got. I refuse to be like my parents.” I looked up and he was staring at the ceiling, his one hand clutched into a fist at his side, the other around my shoulders.
“Baby, you aren’t like them at all. You are so full of love. I think it’s human nature to want to give your kids better than you had as a child. I had an amazing childhood, and I still would wish for our kids to have better opportunities. We can give that to them, the empire that you’ve built will allow that.” I stroked his chest, running my fingers along the soft dusting of hair.
“Promise me that you’ll tell me if I start caring more about work than about you. My dad had other passions, but for me it could be the same sort of thing, just with a different outlet for it. I’ve always loved my job, it used to consume me. I would spend days on end in the office trying to solve a problem or flying out to a remote location at the drop of a hat. I don’t want our marriage or family to suffer because of that.”
“This sure is heavy talk right before bed.” I chuckled. “I promise you I’ll keep you even. We’ll take it a day at a time.”
“Sorry, it was just on my mind.” He put a hand on top of mine on his chest. “I just love you so damn much. I don’t want to screw this up.”
“We’ve made it past all the obstacles so far. I think we have a pretty good track record.”
“You’re right. Thank you for marrying me, Kitten.” He leaned down to kiss me, his hair falling in his eyes.
“Incredible,” I murmured into his lips.
“What?” He cocked his head to the side.
“You. You’re incredible. Sexy and smart, and all mine.” I shifted and straddled his hips, my hands pressed flat on his chest.
“Always yours.” He shifted his hips, grinding himself against me.
“Ready to practice making a baby so soon?” I giggled and lifted my nightgown over my head.
“When have you ever known me not to be ready for you?” He grinned wickedly and rolled us over.
The next morning, we drove to work together, both of us on our phones the whole time. He dropped me off on the way to his office. I blew him a kiss as I walked up to the glass doors of my building.
I called a quick staff meeting as soon as I got into my office. My top associates filed in looking uncertain.
“Okay, here’s the deal,” I started. “I’ll be moving to New York within the month.”
“Permanently?” Faith asked from the back of the room. I hadn’t seen her come in, and I winced, wishing I had told her first.
“Yes, permanently.” I caught her eye and made sorry eyes at her.
“What does this mean for the office?” my assistant asked.
“Well, my plan is to eventually move things there, but for now, I’ll leave someone in charge and I’ll work from home. I don’t want any of you to lose sleep over this. No one is getting fired or laid off. I’ll just be gone a lot more often.”
We talked some more about the logistics, and everyone but Faith left. I wasn’t ready to face the music yet.
“When were you going to tell me that you’d made a decision?” Her hands were on her hips.
“We just made the final decision last night, and I really thought Mom would have called you by now. I’m sorry, though. That was a shitty way to find out.”
“She did tell me, this morning, but I still would have rather heard it from you and not in front of the whole office.” She didn’t look quite as angry. “She also let another piece of information slip. Care to tell me anything about that?” Now she looked more amused than angry.
“I should know better than to tell Mom anything.” I sighed. “We’re officially trying for a baby. I would have told you eventually, when there was really something to tell.”
“Grace, that’s awesome. I can’t wait for you to make me an aunt again.” She walked over and hugged me. “But I still kind of hate you for moving away from me.”
“Funny. Mom said the same thing.” I laughed
NEW YORK, THE CITY I LOVED. It was good to be back home. Grace and I had just moved back a few days ago. The apartment hunting took forever, our month timeline had turned into three before we found something we both loved.
She would have been fine with living in my old place, but I wanted us to have a new start without any bad memories attached to it. The stain of Fiona was still in my old place. Even if Grace could move past it, I couldn’t. That apartment was a reminder of all the mistakes I had made in life. Every time I stepped through the doors, I felt like they would drown me.
After a few months of phone calls that I never returned, Fiona had stopped trying to get in touch. I knew that eventually she would show back up, like she always did, but this time I would have Grace as my wife. There was nothing Fiona could do or say to take her from me again.
Work was insane, as usual, trying to interview assistants and playing catch up. I finally found someone suitable, and Grace adored him, so that was a plus in my book. James was more than capable; I could see big things for him in the company in the future.
Smith was in my office when I came in for the day, his feet propped on my desk and phone pressed against his ear.
“What are you wearing?” he stage-whispered into the phone.
“Smith, I swear to God if you are having phone sex in my office, I’m going to cut off your balls.” I kicked his legs off my desk.
“Sorry, Faith, señor grumpy pants is here. Catch you later, baby.” He hung up and laughed. “What’s got you all in a snit?”
“A snit? What are you, an old woman? Who
even says that besides grandmothers?” I put my briefcase down in the spot his feet had been.
“You didn’t answer the question.” He folded his arms across his chest.
“I’m not in a mood; I just have a lot to do today. I feel like I’ve been playing catch up for a month straight.” I booted up my computer and set my coffee next to the monitor. “And why are you always in my office using the phone anyway? Is there something wrong with yours?”
“Your office is nicer.” He shrugged.
“So, you’ve said.” I grinned. “How are things with Faith?”
“Great. That’s kind of why I’m here.” He sat in the chair in front of my desk.
“Go ahead, Clarissa, explain it all.” I motioned for him to continue when it was clear he wasn’t going to.
“I want to move to Chicago for a bit.”
“Are we in a loop? I feel like we’ve had this conversation before but in reverse.” I laughed.
“Seriously, though, would you have a problem with me working from there?” It was interesting to see him look nervous since he so rarely was.
“Has hell frozen over? What’s that I see over there? Are those pigs flying?” I pointed out the window.
“Fuck you, McFadden,” he growled.
“Like you gave me any less shit when we had this conversation. Dude, I’m fine with it. We still have the office space leased for another year, so make use of it. You can be the Midwest division of the company. Go acquire us some corn or something.”
“They don’t grow corn in Chicago, you ass.” He shook his head.
“Where do they grow it then? Somewhere in the Midwest. right?” I sipped my too hot coffee carefully.
“Are we really talking about where they grow corn?” He looked at me incredulously.
“No, not really. I give you my official blessing, if that’s what you came here for.”
“I didn’t really come for that, I don’t think, or at least not intentionally. But it helps to have it all the same. Let me ask you a question.” He tapped his fingers against his knee. “Were you this terrified before you moved for her?”
“You don’t remember? I was a mess. Grace had walked out on me, and I thought I’d lost her forever.” That was not a time in my life I liked to revisit.
Never Let Me Go: The Complete Set Page 21
