“Hi, I’m Melanie.” I reach my hand across Cole, his scent invading every one of my senses.
“Brooke.” She gives me a tight smile.
“Nice to meet you, Brooke.” She barely gives me her hand, leaving me shaking more of her fingers than anything else.
At least I tried.
“Mm hmm.” She seems to hate me already as she quickly pulls her hand away.
Other than clearly being a bitch, Brooke is stunning. Of course she is. Cole wouldn’t have anything less on his arm. She’s slender, with a full chest, long, blonde hair, and the most pouty lips I have ever seen up close.
I want to criticize her, make myself feel better about how damn gorgeous she is, but I can’t find one damn thing wrong with her. Well, except maybe her personality and that I can work with.
Work with?
God, look at me. I’m already trying to plan her demise when I have a man who loves me sitting right next to me not paying one bit of attention to her.
Taking a deep breath, I try to focus on that. On Nate. Reaching into his lap, I wrap my fingers around his hand and throw him a wink. He seems relaxed and gifts me with one of his full-mouth smiles. There, now that that’s been settled.
I refuse to look at Cole again. It’s almost impossible, especially with his leg constantly brushing up against mine. But somehow, by the grace of God, I make it through.
When Nate suggests we head home about thirty minutes after Cole and Brooke’s arrival, I’m more than ready to get the hell away from this man. I can’t think straight, not when his scent is dancing all around me and his smooth voice is sounding in my ears.
Maybe fresh air will clear away the fog he has settled over me.
Before we can leave, though, I insist on using the bathroom. While it only takes about ten minutes to walk to my house, I haven’t broken the seal yet and I feel like I might burst if I don’t do it now.
Dawn decides to join me. Wasting no time freaking out the second the bathroom door is closed.
“Holy shit,” she says so seriously I can’t help but laugh. “How in the hell did he get so damn fine?” She fans her face.
A wave of possessiveness rolls over me, but I shake it off.
He is not mine! It’s something I’ve been trying to convince myself for years, even though deep down he’s always felt like mine. Even when we were kids.
She slips into a stall, and I take the one next to her.
“And did you see that bimbo he’s with?” She goes on. “I get that she’s pretty, but what a bitch! Did you see the way she was glaring at you? Probably because Cole couldn’t take his eyes off you all night.”
Now this gets my attention.
“What?” I blurt, quickly pulling my jeans up before exiting the stall.
I’m washing my hands when she exits her own stall and joins me at the sinks.
“Don’t act like you didn’t notice.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t know you guys were ever a thing.” She meets my gaze in the mirror.
“We weren’t.” I shake my head adamantly, grabbing a paper towel to dry my hands.
“Really?” She acts like she doesn’t believe me.
“I promise. We really weren’t. He never gave me the time of day.” Now this has her turning toward me, disbelief written all over her face.
“Are you sure it wasn’t the other way around?” She narrows her eyes at me.
Wow. Wait a second. What the hell is happening right now?
“I’m confused.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.
“You really didn’t know did you?” Realization dawns on her face.
“Know what?” My voice comes out strained.
“That you’re the reason I broke up with Cole.”
ME?
As much as I don’t believe it, I also can’t help the surge of excitement that floods through me.
“That’s why I avoided you for most of junior and senior year.”
Wait, what? I seem to remember that very differently.
No matter how hard I try, she continues. “He had you on this pedestal that no one could ever reach. It was impossible to compete. He would deny it and we would fight over it, but I wasn’t stupid or blind. I knew how he felt about you.”
Based on how I can’t seem to move a muscle, she probably thinks I’m about to have a stroke. My entire body is ridged and somehow I can’t seem to feel my face.
“Whatever, I mean, that was his deal, not mine. I just can’t believe he was dumb enough to never say anything to you.” She shakes her head. “Regardless of who he came here with, you’re still up on that pedestal. That girl doesn’t stand a chance against you.”
“A chance?” I finally find my voice again. “Dawn, I’m not sure I fully trust what you think you know. Even if what you’re saying is true, I’m with Nate now.”
“If you say so.” She smiles like I’m so paper thin she can see right through me.
The thought is more than a little unnerving, and I feel the need to nip this in the butt now before this goes any further.
“We’re here for Michael. I don’t care what, if anything, Cole harbors for me. He’s here for the same reason we all are, to say goodbye to our friend. He will be gone just as quickly as he arrived, and that will be that,” I grind out, clearly losing it.
She looks at me for a long moment, the tension in the room palpable.
“I’m sorry.” She finally speaks, letting out a slow breath. “You’re right, we’re here for Michael. I didn’t mean to push.”
“I know,” I say, suddenly feeling bad for talking to her that way. “It’s just tensions are high right now. I just really want to get through this funeral.”
“I know.” She gives me a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Me, too.”
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” I gesture toward the door.
“Yeah, good idea. The guys will probably think we fell in.”
We exit the room, me then her, and while I wish I could push away all the things she just said, I’m afraid now they are etched too deep.
“I really like Nate by the way,” she says when our table comes into view.
I ignore the ping in my stomach when I notice Cole is no longer at the table.
“Yeah, he’s good people,” I agree, plastering on the best smile I can muster when I reach Nate.
“We thought maybe you ladies fell in,” he jokes, standing.
“Girl talk,” Dawn says, sliding into the stool next to Eric.
“You ready?” Nate asks, extending my jacket to me.
“Absolutely.” I slide it over my shoulders before turning back to Eric and Dawn. “It’s been fun, guys. We’ll have to get together again before you leave.”
Even as I say it I know deep down that’s the exact opposite of what I want.
“Nice meeting you, guys,” Nate says, nodding at the two people across from us before taking my hand and leading me out of the bar.
I don’t leave after the funeral is over. I lean against a nearby tree and watch them lower Michael’s casket into the ground. Today has been one of the lowest of my life. Not only did I lose a very good friend of mine, I also had to watch Melanie take comfort in the arms of another man.
I don’t know why it fucking ate at me the way it did. I guess more than anything it’s because he doesn’t get it. He wasn’t part of our circle. He doesn’t understand what we’ve all lost. She needs to be with people who understand her pain. She needs to be with me.
I ignore the fact that I didn’t feel at all this way about Dawn. I don’t know, maybe because it’s hard-wired in me to want to take care of Mel. I know her probably better than she knows herself. Or, well, I mean I used to. Now I’m not sure I know anything at all.
At one point I almost went to her despite the man whose arms she was in. When one of the soldiers began to play Taps, she about fucking lost it, and in turn, so did I. It took everything in me to stay rooted to my spot and watch the sobs rack her body.
>
She looked at me only once during the services, a quick glance. But just one look into those bright green eyes speckled with drops of yellow and I felt like a fucking teenager all over again. I couldn’t take my eyes off her the rest of the day. She’s even more beautiful than the day I left. Has it really been six years?
“Cole?”
At first I think I’m imagining her voice. But when she steps up next to me, still wearing the same black dress and coat that she was earlier, I know she must be real. The light breeze surrounds me in her scent and I take a deep inhale, wanting to pull her in.
“What are you still doing here?” she asks, eyes locked on Michael’s grave as two workers throw dirt over top his casket, now sitting at the bottom of the six-feet hole.
“Probably the same thing you are.” I follow her gaze and keep my focus there. “Where’s the boyfriend?”
“He had to head back to the city.” she answers flatly.
“You mean to tell me he couldn’t stay with you on the day you buried one of your best friends?” I can’t help the anger that builds behind my voice as I gawk at the side of her face.
“He’s been here since I found out about Michael. But he has a job, an apartment, and family in the city. He couldn’t stay here forever. He had to go back, eventually.”
“But today? He couldn’t have waited until tomorrow?”
She turns her gaze on me, those fucking eyes slicing me in two.
“Don’t look at me like that, Cole.” It’s good to see she still has that fire in her veins.
“Like what?” I brush it off innocently, just trying to lighten the too heavy mood.
“You know what I mean.” She rolls her eyes. “Besides, I don’t think how Nate and I conduct our relationship or our time is any of your business.”
I can see I hit a nerve so I quickly back down. The last thing I want to do is fight with her.
“Besides, I don’t see any big busted blondes hanging around so clearly you have no room to say anything,” she bites.
“Big busted blondes?” I question, unable to contain the small laugh that vibrates in my chest.
“You know who I’m talking about.”
Here I thought she barely noticed me at the bar or cared, but she clearly cared enough to check out the woman beside me.
“She headed home.”
“To New York?” she questions.
“Cleveland.”
“She lives in Cleveland?” Now she seems really confused.
“We both do.”
That earns me a wide eyed, pure look of shock.
“You live in Cleveland?” She open mouth gawks at me.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that she’s so surprised. I didn’t exactly keep in touch with her when I left for NYU. I guess I just assumed Michael had told her. Then again, he never liked putting himself in between the two of us. Whenever I asked him about her, he would always just say she’s fine. That’s it, that’s all I got. She’s fine.
“Wait, if you live that close why didn’t you just leave with your girlfriend?” she asks.
I almost cringe hearing her say that word. Yes, Brooke is technically my girlfriend, but we’ve only been seeing each other a few months. It’s not super serious. The only reason I brought her with me was so I could use her as a shield to hide behind all the things I had run away from six years prior. The moment I saw Melanie sitting at that bar table, looking even more beautiful than I remembered, I knew instantly I had made a mistake.
“I wasn’t ready to leave yet,” I finally answer her question.
“And here you gave me shit over Nate.” She crosses her arms over her chest.
“That’s different. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”
“And I do?” She glares at me.
“You deserve to have someone to take care of you.”
“I do just fine on my own.”
“You were always so independent. Good to see some things haven’t changed.” I risk a smile.
“I guess you wouldn’t really know what has or has not changed.” She turns once again to face Michael’s grave that sits a good twenty-five yards away “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that,” she quickly adds, keeping her eyes forward. “I just... I just miss him so much already.”
“Me too.” I turn my eyes in the same direction as hers, my chest tightening all over again like it did the day I found out.
I open my mouth and then close it again several times before finally deciding against saying anything. What can I really say, anyway? I can’t think of one damn thing that would make this okay for her or for me.
We stand there side by side in silence for what feels like an hour, remembering our friend—saying goodbye—somehow finding comfort between each other that requires no contact or words. It’s something we’ve always shared, the ability to communicate without ever saying a thing.
I feel her loss and sadness, just as I know she can feel mine.
Eventually she shifts next to me, and I catch her arm just as she turns to walk away.
“Mel, wait,” I say, not missing the way her eyes sweep from the contact to my face and then back again.
Without warning I pull her into my arms, tucking her against my chest. I almost expect her to pull away, but within seconds she wraps her arms around my back and fuck me if it isn’t the most comforting thing in the world. Warmth spreads through my cold limbs, and I hold her tighter. I don’t realize she’s crying until I feel her body shake against me.
“I just can’t believe he’s gone.” Her voice is muffled against my chest.
If anyone understands it’s me. I’m struggling with the same painful reality.
“I know. Me either.”
“I’m really glad you’re here.” Her comment surprises the fuck out of me. Given how she behaved toward me at the bar a couple nights ago you would have thought me being here was the absolute last thing she wanted.
“Me, too,” I whisper into her hair, resting my cheek on top of her head.
She lets me hold her for longer than I expect. With her face nestled against my chest, I rock gently back and forth, and the motion seems to calm her slightly. The action transports me back to when we were kids, how I used to hold her anytime something bad happened or when she just needed a shoulder.
I breathe in deeply, the cold stinging my lungs as I take in her smell, so different and yet oddly the same as I remember. Sweet like cotton candy and vanilla. I’d stay out here all day if it meant she’d be in my arms.
“You just left,” she finally speaks again, this time a different emotion clouding her voice. “You didn’t even say goodbye.”
“I couldn’t,” I tell her the truth.
She pulls back far enough that she can look up at my face but doesn’t step completely out of my embrace.
“You were my best friend, Cole.”
“And you were mine.”
“Glad to know you can discard people so easily.” She steps back completely this time, effectively shutting me out.
“Trust me, Mel. Nothing about leaving you was easy.” I can see the confusion stewing behind those gorgeous eyes of hers. “What do you say we go grab a drink, just you and me?”
“I don’t want to go to the grill. Everyone is probably there.” She scuffs her heeled foot against the ground, but doesn’t completely turn me down. At least I know I have room to work, and she hasn’t completely discarded me.
“We don’t have to go to the grill. I’m staying over at Kyle’s house. We can hang out there, catch up.”
“He won’t mind?” She’s asking like she doesn’t go there all the time when I know in fact that she does.
Kyle told me just last night that he is still very close with Melanie and that his wife Corrine is also good friends with her. And that she typically comes to their house every other Sunday for dinner.
“You already know the answer to that.” I give her a knowing look.
“I don’t know. I probably shou
ld get home.”
“Come on, Mel,” I plead. “I won’t be here much longer, and I really want the chance to spend a little time with you before I head back home.”
I can see the struggle on her face. She’s unsure about spending time with me. I’d be lying if I said the thought didn’t gut me.
“Please,” I tack on for good measure.
“Okay.” She finally relents. “One drink, and then I have to get home.”
“One drink,” I agree, even though if I have it my way she will be there much longer than one drink.
“I need to stop by my house and change first.”
“No problem. I’ll follow you over.”
“Can I just meet you there?”
“So you have time to back out on me? Not a chance.” I nudge her shoulder as we walk through the cemetery side by side.
“I won’t.”
“Well I’m not taking that chance,” I say just as we reach our cars.
My black Audi S5 stands out next to her little, red Camry. It’s strange, but it’s almost like our cars describe us. I’m flashy and love attention while Melanie is more modest and would rather blend in than stand out.
“Fine,” she finally concedes, letting out a loud breath as she climbs into her car and shuts the door without another word.
I wait until I’m inside my own car before I let the smile of my victory slide across my face.
I follow Melanie out of the cemetery and down the winding country roads that lead back to Irving. It takes about twenty minutes to reach her house, and by the time we do I’m an absolute ball of fucking nerves.
I pull my car up behind hers and throw it into park, exiting the vehicle the same time she does.
“God this place looks exactly the way I remember it,” I say, shutting my door before making my way toward her, the gravel driveway crunching under my feet with each step I take.
My mom’s friend, Joyce, used to live here. If I close my eyes, I can almost picture the interior, the smell of cookies in the air, the yappy ankle-biting dog jumping on my leg the moment I’d walk inside.
“Do you maybe just want to stay here and have a drink?” Mel pulls my attention to her, the slight shake to her voice not going unnoticed.
How We Fall Page 4
