“I’m going to tell her.”
“About the kiss?”
“Yes.”
“You were never one to keep secrets.”
Lucas still looked miserable.
“What is with you two? You both look like your grandma just died.”
Lucas didn’t reply.
“Want to go dune buggy racing?”
“Yes.”
“Fucking hell. I’m not doing this twice.”
But they were already walking away, towards Adam’s car.
Ella woke up, feeling miserable. It took her a few minutes to remember the events of the previous day. She had kissed Lucas. Lucas had kissed her back. And then there was Mary. Ella wanted to sleep again and forget about everything. But of course, she had to get out of bed and get dressed. As luck would have it, she ran into Mary just as she thought she had successfully left the house while avoiding confrontation.
“Hi, Ella,” Mary sang. “It’s a beautiful weather, let’s walk today. No cars.”
“Sure,” Ella said. Mary excused her glumness for one of her moods and didn’t pay much attention to it. She chatted happily until they reached the campus. It hit Ella that they might come across Lucas here which made her panic. But of course, that was one of those unavoidable things which were bound to take place. Mary spotted Lucas and Adam and dragged Ella to where the boys were standing with Donna. A big basketball tournament was upcoming and the three (Lucas, Donna and Adam) were discussing something related to it when the two girls approached.
“Lucas,” Mary sang as she threw her arms around her boyfriend and kissed him. Ella tried to look anywhere but at the two of them. “How are the preparations going?” Mary asked them.
“Well enough,” Adam replied.
“I’m sure you guys will be great,” Mary continued.
“Yeah, yeah,” Adam said. “Ella, any words of encouragement?”
“Erm, good luck,” Ella said. Lucas was trying to avoid eye contact with her too. Donna just looked annoyed that their conversation had been interrupted; she took basketball very seriously.
“That’s helpful,” Adam commented. “Well, I’m free for the rest of the morning. I’ll drop you to your class, Scott.”
Ella could have hugged him right there. They walked away from the group.
“Geez, Ella. If you’re going to act like that, Mary would figure out in no time that something is wrong.”
“Was it obvious?”
“I think so. Or maybe I’m too observant.”
“Mary won’t notice.”
“In any case, you can’t avoid Lucas forever.”
“I know.”
“Also…” Adam hesitated. “You might want to know this: Lucas plans on telling Mary.”
Ella’s eyes widened but then she realized she had expected this all along. Of course Lucas was going to tell Mary. He would want to save his relationship. He would tell her it was one big mistake and ask for forgiveness.
“I- I expected that.”
Adam nodded. “It’ll be tough but it’ll pass, Scott.”
“I know.”
“You’re coming to watch the tournament?”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
They reached their destination. “See you, Scott.”
“Bye, Adam.”
Ella managed to avoid Mary and Lucas for the rest of the day.
Lucas paced in his apartment, thinking of how to tell Mary. It wasn’t a question of whether he should tell her but of how. Guilt threatened to engulf him, the more he thought about it. If Ella had confessed her love for him a month earlier, they could have been happy. Now, he only felt miserable. When Mary knocked on the door to his apartment, he made up his mind. As soon as she came inside, he said the words.
“Mary, I kissed Ella.” He phrased them carefully so as to divert the attention away from Ella. He could have said ‘Ella kissed me’ which was what really happened but Ella had more at stake than he did.
Mary’s expression was blank at first and then she smiled. It was pained smile but a smile nonetheless.
“The Chevrolet,” she said.
“What?”
“The story you were writing the day we first kissed. The Chevrolet.”
“Okay…”
“The Chevrolet was the only thing that kept him going. Even though the sea crashed against him, threatening to drown him, to engulf him, The Chevrolet was there to save him. Not just from the sea but from life itself. The shield against the darkness, the meaning of life, the only light that shines when all else is lost.”
“You read my story. I get it.”
“You sent Ella’s paintings to the California Post. The painting of The Chevrolet. I’ve known all along, Lucas.”
Despite everything, Mary felt a sense of relief. She wasn’t one to stick to long term relationships and even though she enjoyed being with Lucas, she missed her freedom dearly.
“I forgive you,” Mary said.
“No, Mary, we can fix this,” Lucas said because he felt as though he needed to do something, anything, to quench the guilt he was feeling.
“Do you want to fix it, Lucas?” Mary asked.
“Of course. I- this is not me, Mary. I wouldn’t- I shouldn’t have-”
“It’s alright, Lucas. I’ve been the Ella in so many relationships that I don’t even blame Ella. At least she has a genuine reason. I just did it because of raging hormones.”
“What reason?”
“Come on, Lucas. Even a blind person can tell she’s in love with you.”
“No, Mary. This is all wrong.”
“Of course it’s wrong. I can’t believe Ella would ever do that to me. And you, too. But especially her.”
“It’s not her fault.”
“Oh give me a break! Of course it is her fault! She’s my best friend!” Mary felt a rage burning inside her but she wasn’t one to lose her temper. Wanting to maintain her calm, she turned away. “I’ll see you later, Lucas. I need to go home now.”
Lucas did not stop her as she left.
When Ella saw Mary enter their apartment, she knew that Mary knew. Mary gave her a cold stare before proceeding towards her bedroom.
“Mary?” Ella said.
Mary turned to look at her. “Yes?”
“You know, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Mary-”
“Later, Ella. I don’t want to talk to either of you right now or I’ll end up losing my head.”
When later came, Mary was much calmer.
“Let’s talk,” she told Ella. They had spent three days without saying a single word to one another. Donna had been flitting between the two girls, trying to get them to talk but Ella was too scared of what to expect and Mary was adamant that this was not the right time to talk.
“Okay,” Ella said wearily.
“Do you have something to say?” Mary demanded.
“I-I’m sorry,” Ella stammered. Mary looked at her without betraying any emotions.
“You kissed my boyfriend and you’re sorry? Is that it?”
“I don’t know what else to say, Mary. I…I’ll forget about the kiss. If that would mean you and Luke can go back to being the way you were before, I’ll forget about the kiss.”
Mary laughed mirthlessly. “I can’t go back to Lucas and pretend as if nothing happened. I may be a stupid slut but I do have self-respect.”
“Yes but if you want to fix things, I’ll... I’ll back off. I won’t talk to him. Not even as a friend.”
Mary shook her head. “Ella, even if you genuinely wanted to do that, you couldn’t. Let’s not fool ourselves.”
Ella sat in silence.
“It happened, Mary. I can’t deny it. I kissed him and you’re right… no matter what happens, I can’t forget him. I… I like Lucas, a lot. And I suppose you were right all those years when you told me to admit that I did have feelings for him. I wish- I wish this hadn’t happened but it did. Where do we go from here?”
Mary glared at her and then she sighed. “I don’t know.”
They sat in silence again.
“Can we ever go back to being the same as before?” Ella asked.
“I don’t know,” Mary repeated. “You’ve broken my trust.”
Ella’s eyes glistened. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know you are.” Mary stood up and with a last look at Ella, strode out of the room briskly.
“Look Ella,” Donna said as they fiddled with their microscopes in the Astronomy lab at night. “What you did was wrong. It was absolutely wrong. If I was Mary, I would have punched you or something.”
“Thanks, Don,” Ella replied miserably.
Donna threw her a wry look and adjusted the microscope.
“A simple apology isn’t going to fix everything.”
“Then what do you want me to do, Donna?”
“Fix things between Mary and Lucas.”
Ella stared at her. “I don’t think… I don’t think they want to fix things. And even if they do, how am I supposed to do that? Mary doesn’t want to look at me.”
“I still think you should try. As redemption. If it doesn’t work, you’re free to have Lucas.”
Chapter 10
“Hi,” Ella said.
“Hi,” Lucas replied. “Oh um, come on in.”
Ella had shown up at Lucas’ apartment. It had been two week since their kiss. Lucas’ place was (thankfully) empty. The clock read 10pm. He wasn’t expecting Adam to come back home tonight. Ella walked inside and they stood awkwardly in the doorway before Ella broke the silence. She walked up to him and hugged him tightly.
“Oh god, Luke, I miss you so much.” She breathed the scent she had grown so used to. He smelled of fresh shower gel and his signatory cologne. He hugged her back before pulling away enough to see her face. “I meant every word of what I said, Lucas. And I’ve felt so, so guilty because of Mary being there.”
“She’s not, anymore.”
“Because of me.”
“It’s as much my fault as yours.”
Remembering what Donna had said, Ella detached herself from Lucas.
“Luke,” she begun in a brisk tone. “I’m going to help you fix things with Mary. Even though it’s going to kill me, I’m going to try.”
Lucas shook his head. “I tried. Mary doesn’t want to fix things. I think she’s sort of relieved, to be honest. She always talked about how she missed her freedom when she was with me.”
“That option is off the table then.”
“But it’s good of you to try.” Lucas touched her cheek.
He leaned forward to kiss her. The kiss was gentle, sweet, elegant unlike the first kiss they had shared. Ella closed her eyes, relishing the touch of his lips against hers.
He pulled back first. “God, Ella, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”
“I think I know what you mean. It broke me every time you kissed Mary in front of me.”
They stood in silence again.
“Mary hates me,” Ella said, finally.
“She doesn’t. She’ll come around. She’s your best friend.”
“I… I want to be with you, Luke. I want you so badly but… but Mary just keeps coming back.”
“We’re in the same boat,” Lucas said glumly.
“Can I stay over?” Ella asked.
He didn’t even have to think about it. “Yes.”
Up in Lucas’ bedroom, their mouths explored each other; lips, tongues, sensitive skin, moving together, triggering sensations which made her shiver. Goosebumps covered her arms where he touched her. Ella and Lucas were nearly the same height. When he pulled her shirt over her head, Ella didn’t feel uncomfortable or vulnerable. She felt at home; this was how it was meant to be. She let her bra fall to the floor. He caressed one breast with his hand, lightly pinching and twisting the nipple between thumb and forefinger, as he pulled her other nipple into his mouth. Ella’s fingers wrapped around his hair as she moaned softly. She felt his free hand slide down her body and she shifted to help him finish undressing her, lifting her heels one by one so he could slip off her trousers and everything she wore under it. He guided her to his bed.
“You know,” Ella begun. “It’s not fair I’m completely naked and you’re… completely dressed.”
Without waiting for a reply, Ella was unbuttoning his shirt and soon, they both lay on the bed, with him on top. His eyes devoured her as his hands moved over her bare skin. He found her incredibly beautiful and arousing. Thinking back, Lucas had lost count of the times he had mentally pictured this situation in his head. That was back then, when Ella rejected all his approaches and this was now. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered except the fact that this was the woman he loved and had loved for years. He felt her shiver as he brushed his lips and fingertips over her skin, and his awareness of her arousal increased his own. She whimpered softly as she felt his hands glide back up her legs, thumbs caressing the insides of her thighs, lightly touching her, making her tremble. His lips continued their slow exploration of her body, until they found her mouth again, and he kissed her hungrily. Her breasts pressed into his chest, soft and warm. She unfastened his waistband and slipped her hand inside. He shuddered at her touch as she brushed his erection with her thumb. He let go long enough to pull off the remaining of his clothes. He rolled over again, pinning her under him. Their lips met again in a heated kiss. It was slow but needy at the same time. She felt his pelvis pressing into her lower body. They kissed again, almost desperately. His hands stroked her breasts gently; her nipples hardened as he took one between his teeth. She was overwhelmed by the sensations she was feeling, hardly able to register what was happening. The feeling was so intense that she doubted she had ever felt such a desperate need before.
His hand slid down her body to her inner thigh, gently slipping a finger inside. His other hand slid under her head as he lifted it up and kissed her. She gasped desperately as his fingers touched her wetness and she gave up any ounce of control she was clinging to. She sobbed and gasped as his intimate touches as she held tighter to his arms. Her lips parted as she lay back in defeat, broken sobs escaping her mouth at the pleasure he was making her feel. He knew exactly where to touch her, revoking reactions that made her shiver.
“L-Luke—please—please Luke…” she gasped. She wasn’t sure what she was asking for but she knew she needed something more. He seemed to understand because his fingers withdrew from her and his knee spread her legs wider. She felt his erection brush her entrance which made her gasp; she was still sensitive from his previous touches. She grabbed his hand and he squeezed it in a comforting manner. He pressed into her slowly. Her head arched back and she cried his name as he rolled all the way in. He waited a few minutes for her to adjust to the new sensation. When he was sure she was ready, he began to move, groaning as he slipped deeply into the moist wetness of her body.
She pulled his face towards her, desperate to feel all of him at once. She kissed him, tasting his lips and tongue as her lower body experienced intimate sensations that she didn’t imagine were possible to feel. He thrust in and out; her soft breasts pressed against his hard chest. Her breathing became shallow and rapid as the pleasure intensified.
She cried his name repeatedly as she reached her climax and soon, she was shuddering and trembling as she came down from her high. He helped her ride it down. When they were done, he lay on top of her, supporting his weight so as not to crush her. Her eyes remained closed; she wanted to remember every sensation he had made her feel. He kissed her jaw and rolled off her.
“I love you, Luke,” Ella said lazily. The words had never come to her easier than they did at that moment.
“I love you too, El,” he replied. He felt a contentment he hadn’t felt in years.
Tomorrow, they would have to face the reality which didn’t seem too dark right now; in fact, it had never seemed brighter. But for now, they could relish in each other’s company. The night was long and the
re was much to talk about.
Chapter 11
Ella woke up before Lucas did. It was the weekend so she didn’t need to worry about getting to class on time. She showered before pulling a bathrobe around her and entering the bedroom again. Lucas was still sleeping. Ella opened a drawer and pulled out a large, oversized T shirt of his and pulled it over her head, discarding the robe. Ella was accustomed to wearing Lucas’s clothes considering the amount of days she had ended up sleeping in his room. She strolled outside the room and found Adam in the living room.
“You’re up early,” Ella commented.
“I have to visit my mother. She’s in town for my sister’s wedding.”
“You’re not surprised to see me.”
Adam grinned. “Your car is parked outside.”
“Oh.”
“Nice shirt,” Adam commented.
Ella glanced down at it.
“So,” Adam continued. “Is this still one of those times where you two share a bed but don’t share… other things?”
Ella rolled her eyes. “Afraid not.”
“Praise the Lord.”
Ella smiled but didn’t reply. “Oh come on. Why are you still miserable? Is this about the friend of yours?”
“You really don’t like Mary, do you?”
“I’m indifferent to her. I don’t like, however, that she came into the picture at the wrong moment.”
“You really want me and Lucas to get together, don’t you?” Ella laughed.
“Of course I do. After years of hearing him whining about how you won’t say yes to him, anyone would want that. Plus, I like you better than most, Scott. I need to get along with Lucas’ girlfriend.”
“Of course, you did,” Ella muttered.
“I could distract Mary for you, if you want,” Adam said, winking.
“You’re an idiot.”
When Adam had left and Ella returned to Lucas’ bedroom, she noticed that he was awake. He lay with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling. Ella crawled into bed and lay besides him. He turned his face towards her as she kissed him.
“Hmm,” Lucas said against her lips. “I love being woken up like this.”
“I’m not done with you, yet,” Ella told him.
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