Both were standing in the doorway. Kross had a wide-eyed expression while Kelton had one of his sinful smirks.
A beeping noise filled the room as the machine came back online. The sound was a quiet hum now.
“Do not touch the monitor again.” Lisa narrowed her eyes at Kade while adjusting the clothespin device on my finger. “Leave this oximeter on, too.” She eyed me. “The doctor will be in shortly.” She headed to the door, pointing at Kelton and Kross. “You two—out.”
The door closed behind her, leaving Kade and me alone. We stared at each other.
“Tell me what happened,” I said, clasping my hands together.
“You were standing on the mound, staring down at home plate like you were frozen. Just like that night at your house.” He rubbed my hand with his thumb. “Then you fell forward. Your head hit the ground, hard. I bolted out of my seat. By the time I got down onto the field, Coach Dean was checking your vitals. I had a feeling you had one of your attacks. Anyway, Coach called the paramedics.” He pried my hands apart then held my right hand. “I called your house and your mom answered. I told her what happened. She said she would call your dad. He was in Boston. She didn’t have a car. So I asked Kody to go and get her.”
I lowered my gaze to my dirty pants again. I didn’t know how to process this screwed-up day. When I went back to school, kids would look at me differently. I would now be the brunt of all jokes, especially after the incident where my bag went missing. Oh, my God. People were going to think I was crazy for sure. I had to shove that aside for now. Kade deserved to know about my mom and Julie. He’d seen me in my worst state. I couldn’t keep having attacks around Kade and not tell him why. Dr. Davis had said that if Kade knew the triggers, he might be able to help. But what could he have done today? He didn’t know that when I looked at Renee, I saw my sister. Plus he’d been in the stands and nowhere near me to help, not like he had been at the house when he first saw one of my panic attacks.
He curled his fingers under my chin. “Look at me, baby. Talk to me. Please.” The anguish in his voice brought tears to my eyes.
Slowly, I lifted my eyes to his. “I’m broken, Kade.” A tear rolled down my cheek.
“Hey, we’re all broken.” He was still caressing my palm.
“Not like me,” I whispered.
“Whatever it is, Lace, I’m here for you.” The warmth in his tone wrapped me in a blanket of tingles.
“Why? I’ve been terrible to you.”
He searched my face, placing my hand on his heart. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Lacey Robinson,” he said, sure and strong.
The breath halted in my lungs. My head pounded. Or was it the blood roaring through my ears? Did he just say what I think he said? How? Why?
Breathe. Breathe.
“From the first night you pulled the gun on me, to kicking me square in the groin, to our first kiss.”
My eyes grew wide at his admission. The world around me closed in. Amazement. Shock. Joy. Fear. They all mixed together in a blur of confused emotions. “Kade—”
“Shhh.” He kissed me lightly on the lips. “Do you feel my heart beating like a damn freight train barreling down the tracks?”
I barely nodded. His heart was beating like a bucking bronco.
He trailed the backs of his fingers along my face. “The heart knows, Lace. My sister was right. Don’t ask me to explain it,” he breathed. “All I know is I’ve never felt this way about anyone. When you walk into a room, my skin heats up, and all I want to do is sweep you up in my arms and not let go.”
I began trembling. The guy made my nightmares disappear. He made my body react in ways it never had. So, why did my flight instinct kick into gear?
“Please don’t be scared,” he whispered, gliding his lips over mine.
“I’m…not…I can’t…” He deserved someone better than me—someone who didn’t have mental baggage.
“I don’t expect you to feel the same. But I had to tell you. After my sister died, I hated life. Then when my mom started to have problems, I wanted to vanish. Move up to the Arctic and live with the polar bears.”
I scrunched up my nose, smiling inside.
He lifted a muscular shoulder. “I’ve always loved polar bears. Ever since I saw them at a zoo when I was a kid. They’re beautiful and fearless creatures. They represent purity, intelligence, strength. Whenever I would need something to pick me up, I’d watch videos of polar bears playing. Sounds crazy, I know. But, Lace, I’ve been in a bad place for a long time, until you. You’re my polar bear.”
I laughed then cried then laughed again. “You’re comparing me to a bear?” I sniffled.
“I’m saying you’re beautiful, strong, pure, intelligent, and I know there’s a playfulness in you.”
I pulled my hand away. I couldn’t concentrate when I was feeling the beat of his heart. I breathed in, hoping my head would clear so I could sew words together to form a complete sentence. “What if I’m…not all those…things you just said?” I managed to say.
“You are. You just have to open up and let me show you.”
I dashed tears away from my face. “My past has ruined me.”
“If you allow it to, it will. But whatever is causing your attacks, you’ve been fighting it.”
“How do you…know that?” Panic attacks weren’t a sign of fighting anything.
“Because you’re seeing Dr. Davis. If you didn’t want to heal, Lace, then you wouldn’t acknowledge that you needed help. And you’re working hard at your dream. People who don’t want to change or heal don’t work hard to realize their dreams. They just give up.”
“So says the genius.” He had a point. I longed for my dream to come true. I ached to rid myself of the illness.
“It has nothing to do with my IQ, and has everything to do with my experience. I’ve been through a lot, Lace. My whole family has.”
“But what if I don’t feel the same way…about you?” I peered at him through lowered lashes. Who was I kidding? I had feelings for him, but I wasn’t sure if they were as strong as the ones he had for me. Maybe because I was frightened, and I had to keep a lock on my heart. I didn’t want to get hurt. The minute I’d told Brad I loved him, he broke up with me.
Kade touched my cheek. “I didn’t tell you how I felt just so you would say it back. We have a lot to learn about each other. I get that. But I’m not going to deny what’s in my heart. And when I want something I go after it. No games. I know there’s something in here.” He placed his hand on my heart.
“It may take a bomb to open mine,” I said weakly.
“I’ll be sure to bring explosives the next time we’re together.” He flashed me his signature grin, dimples and all.
“Kade, the lady Kody went to get isn’t my mom. My mom—”
The door to the room burst open, and Dad barreled in, a large cut on his cheekbone. A smaller cut bled slowly above his eyebrow, and his lip was split as though someone threw a hard right hook.
“Oh, my God, Dad. What happened?” I pushed myself off the bed. Dizziness washed over me. I stumbled.
Kade bolted upright, and I fell into his arms, the clothespin thing flying off me.
Kelton and Kross ran in.
Blood seeped out of the wound on Dad’s cheek. “Are you okay, Sweet Pea?”
“Am I okay? Look at you,” I barked at Dad.
Kade guided me over to the bed. “Sit, Lacey.” His tone was dominant and commanding.
“Who did this to you?” I asked, pushing to my feet then falling into Kade’s arms again. Damn dizziness.
“Lace,” Kade said in a deep tone as though he were trying to scare me. “You need to sit.”
Kelton strode over, helping me onto the bed. I sat on the edge. Kross didn’t move from his position at
the door.
“Does she have a concussion?” Dad asked, glancing at Kade.
“Don’t know, Mr. Robinson. We’re waiting for the doc,” Kade replied, the mattress dipping beside me.
Dad grabbed a chair, dragging it over to the bed. “I’m fine, Sweet Pea,” he said as he sat down.
“Mr. Robinson, you might need stitches,” Kade said.
“I know,” he said.
“Kel, get the nurse,” Kade ordered.
Kelton snapped to attention and disappeared.
“Who did this to you?” I asked.
Dad’s face looked like someone had a good time with their fists and a sharp object. “I had to break up a fight at the club between two of my employees. But when Mary called, I jumped in my car. I didn’t have time to clean up.”
“You were supposed to be at tryouts,” I reminded him.
“I had to take care of a pay issue. I thought I would be back in time. I’m sorry. That bump on your head looks like it hurts,” Dad said.
“I have a headache, and some dizziness.”
Lisa scurried in, pretty eyes wide. Kelton was right on her heels again. She glanced at my dad and pressed a button on the intercom behind the bed.
“Yes,” a male voice came through the small speaker.
“Lou, can you come to room five fifteen? I need your help.”
“Sure thing. I’ll be right there,” Lou said.
“Mr. Robinson, I take it?” Lisa asked. “You do need stitches,” she said after she examined the wound.
A short man in a white uniform came in. He looked everyone over then landed his gaze on Lisa.
“Please go with Lou,” she ordered, touching Dad on the arm.
“I’ll be back, Lacey.” Dad left, followed by Lou.
“Didn’t I tell you two to leave?” Lisa glared at Kelton and Kross.
“Go find out what’s taking Kody so long,” Kade ordered his brothers.
They both did as their big brother commanded and hurried out.
“I’ll check to see where the doctor is,” Lisa said as she left.
“Okay, baby,” Kade whispered. “Now, back in bed.” He rose before lifting my legs.
Pressing my hands into the mattress, I swung my legs up onto the bed. No sooner had I got comfortable than Mary walked in, her big brown eyes filled with concern. She looked up at Kade, then back at me.
“Lacey, are you okay?” Mary asked as she hurried over to me.
“I’m fine. Maybe a little dizzy. More from all the people in and out of this room.” Not to mention the news Kade had shared with me. How could I not be woozy? He’d admitted he had feelings for me—strong feelings, no less.
“That’s a nasty lump on your head,” she said, taking up Dad’s previous spot in the chair.
“Hi, I’m Kade. I was the one who called you.”
She smiled. “I’m Mary. Nice to meet you in person. And thank you for calling.”
“Lace, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Kade said. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.” He strode out of the room.
“What happened, Lacey?” Mary asked.
I explained my entire disaster, from my sports bag going missing to how Renee looked like Julie. “I’m worried I’m not going to get better. It seems I’m having more panic attacks now. Plus I’m afraid of going back to school. I’m sure I’ll be the topic of all their gossip. Then I’ll act out again like I did at Crestview when kids looked at me the wrong way. I’m also frightened Coach Dean won’t consider me for a spot on the team now.”
“Is baseball worth your health? You’ve been pushing yourself so hard. Even before you left California, you were practicing non-stop.”
We’d had a spot in our backyard with a net set up for me to practice my pitching. She was right. I was out there every chance I had. Regardless, baseball was my love, my dream. “I have to do this.”
“Are you sure you’re not hiding behind a mask like your dad is? He uses work as his outlet to forget. Is that what you’re doing with baseball?” Lines dented her smooth forehead.
Was I? I’d never thought I was hiding. I’d thought I was trying to do something I loved.
The only sound in the room was the soft beep of the medical monitor.
“So Kade calls you Lace.” Mary adjusted the cranberry silk scarf around her neck. “The only one I’ve known to call you Lace was Brad.”
Yeah, but when Kade calls me Lace my insides dance with delight. When Brad used to call me Lace, his tone did nothing to convey any fluttering feelings.
“I noticed he seems protective of you,” she said.
“He told me he loves me.” The words tumbled off my tongue.
Her full lips stretched into a smile. “And how do you feel about him?” Mary asked.
I twisted the edges of my wrinkled Dodgers T-shirt like I was wringing water from it. “I like him a lot, but I’m scared.”
“You can’t compare Brad with him.” She scooted her chair closer to the bed. “Have you told him about your PTSD?”
“I was about to tell him about my mom when Dad came in.”
“Your father is here?” Her voice rose.
I stopped toying with my shirt. “He’s getting stiches. He had to break up a fight at the club.”
She mashed her burgundy-colored lips together. “That man. I swear.”
“Is he okay, Mary? I know my dad is hurting. But I heard him swearing on the phone this morning. He never swears.”
“It was a misunderstanding with Eric at Eko Records over a contract with a potential client. Don’t worry about your dad. I want you to worry about Lacey.” Mary leaned over the bed, resting her hand on my thigh. “You have to allow people in.” Her tone lowered. “Allow yourself some freedom to just have fun, to feel again.”
“What if Kade breaks my heart or runs when I tell him about my PTSD?” I worried my bottom lip.
“First, if the boy is in this hospital with you, not knowing why you keep having panic attacks, I can assure you he isn’t going to run.” She sat back in her chair. “He would’ve already. Two, you have to take a chance, otherwise you may never have an opportunity at love again. And love is the most beautiful thing in the world when two people open their souls to one another.”
Dad came back in. He had a thin piece of tape over his left eye and right cheek. His bottom lip was swollen, but the blood was gone.
“James, are you okay?” Mary’s voice was distraught.
“Fine, Mary. Just a little misunderstanding at the club,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there today, Sweet Pea. Please forgive me.” Regret shone from his green eyes.
Part of me was relieved he hadn’t been there at the beginning. He would’ve had a cow if he’d thought I couldn’t try out. But I’d wanted him there to watch me, to support me like he had at Crestview. He always showed up for my games. “I wanted you there. You promised. We’re in this together, remember?”
He leaned over and hugged me. “I love you,” he said. “I’ll be there next time.”
Would there be a next time? “Tryouts continue tomorrow.”
He pulled away, wrenching a hand through his hair. “Lacey, if you have a concussion, even a mild one, I’m not sure you’ll be capable of any physical exertion.”
“I have to, Dad. I can’t miss tryouts.”
Chapter 15
I threw back my down comforter, letting the cool air of my bedroom dry the sweat coating my body. I turned to my right and grabbed my phone off the wicker nightstand. It was almost lunch time. I rolled back onto my pillow and raised my knees as I tapped on the screen for my text messages. I had one from Becca, one from Tyler, and one from Kade.
Kade had returned to the hospital room shortly after Dad, but
we didn’t get a chance to talk any more—the doctor came in. After several tests on my vision, hearing, and reflexes, he’d determined I had a mild concussion. He ordered rest for at least a day. If I felt better after today, I could go back to school. Mary had woken me twice in the middle of the night to make sure I was okay—another order from the doctor.
A knock sounded on my door before it opened. Dad walked in. “Hey, how are you feeling?” His left eye was beginning to bruise.
“Good.” A small amount of dizziness still lingered, but no headache, although the lump on my forehead hurt. “I want to go to school, Dad. The second round of tryouts is this afternoon.”
He eased down onto the bed. “I talked to Coach Dean this morning. What happened with your gear? He said someone broke into your locker, but then it reappeared.” He studied my face.
I scooted back against my brass headboard. “I don’t know. Someone played a prank. I’d like to know who.” Or maybe I shouldn’t know—if I got my hands on the person I might be expelled from school. “What else did Coach say?” Could I make up a tryout? I had to show Coach I could play. I’d only thrown one or two pitches, and they were bad pitches, before I became good friends with the ground.
“He’s postponing the second round until he looks into the locker incident. He wants to question a few students who might’ve been in the locker room at the time.”
Luck seemed to be on my side. I let out a breath. Deep relief eclipsed the panic that had been brewing.
“I’ve got to run a few errands,” he said, standing up. “Get some rest.” Leaning down, he kissed me on the top of my head. Then he crossed the room to the door.
“Dad?”
He turned.
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
“I’ll see you later.” He closed the door behind him.
The Maxwell Series Boxed Set: Books 1-3 Page 21
