I had so much fun. Angela and I were still singing as we walked home.
Next week, we’ll meet at my house. I’m going to bake brownies. Mom said she’ll teach me the recipe she used when she baked brownies when she was twelve.
I’m really excited to show off my baking skills to my friends!
Date: July 12
Dear Diary,
I have been told that if you keep putting your face into expressions where you look mean and angry and irritated, your face is going to stay looking that way. If instead you keep smiling, laughing, and looking happy, then you’ll stay looking more that way as you get older. I like the way Mrs. Hopkins down the street looks. She must be ancient, at least seventy or eighty-five like my great aunts. But she has this wonderful smile whenever she sees me that makes her face look so beautiful and even young! Her eyes sparkle and her voice sounds so warm like I am a very special person in her life. I want to be like her someday. Except her hair is white. I want to dye my hair a bright red when I get old—I saw a picture of an old lady online who had bright red hair and it looked incredible! And I’m always going to wear long earrings, lots of makeup, and big scarves and maybe even cowboy boots.
Date: July 13
Dear Diary,
I know a lot of truth about being healthy.
I feel good when I go for long bike rides and I stay outside a lot and I rollerblade. But when I’m sick I stay inside and rest. I have big tonsils. My mom told me I might have to have them out one day. I don’t want to. She tried to make it sound like no big deal by telling me I would get to eat tons of ice cream after they take them out. But I’m scared about the pain and going under anesthesia. That’s really what worries me the most. I hope they can stay right where they are and that I’ll eventually stop getting sick because of them.
I read on a blog that eating healthy and getting lots of sleep are really important. Also taking the right vitamins is key to feeling good and having everything you need in your body to help you grow.
Health is one subject that my mom doesn’t seem distracted when I bring it up. She is so into health foods and vitamins. She must have ten different bottles of pills she takes every morning. And she cooks most of our meals. We never have frozen dinners from the supermarket or pick up fast food. I’m happy that my mom is helping me stay strong and healthy. I hope that all this good food and vitamins means I won’t need to have my tonsils out.
Date: July 15
Dear Diary,
I’m going to tell you the truth about friends and about knowing which people are good friends and which you should avoid.
Some people make you feel creeped out, and some always make you feel bad. The truth is you shouldn’t hang around with those types of people. Some people make you feel wonderful, and those are the people you should be friends with. Angela makes me feel like that, and I consider her my best friend. I thought she wasn’t when I saw her talking to Paul, but I believe her now. They were just working on schoolwork together. I feel bad that I got so jealous and wrote some mean things about her in here.
If you don’t have anyone good to hang around with, then hang out with yourself! I know sometimes that’s tough but it’s better than being made to feel bad.
But Angela still might move and then I will have to make a new best friend. I like Dawn, but being at her house isn’t as fun as being at Angela’s. The rooms are so dark and the three dogs are always barking. And her older brother is kind of a bully. I’m afraid that even if I liked her as a best friend, her brother would make fun of me or bully me. I hope Angela doesn’t move after all!
Date: July 19
Dear Diary,
I’m most happy when no one is fighting and no one is telling me what’s wrong with me. I think that is the truth for just about everybody, and that’s why I love being with my grandparents. We have a lot of fun and they don’t ever criticize me. They like everything about me just the way I am. They even put that stupid picture of me, the one with my bangs cut off, up on the mantle and keep telling everyone how beautiful I am.
When my grandparents take me and my brother out, my mom stays home and rests. I’m really happy because we always have such a good time. They get us ice cream, and they take us to beautiful parks where we feed peanuts to the birds. One of the parks has rides and they let us go on them as many times as we want.
It’s wonderful to be so happy.
And all it takes are people who love you, don’t criticize you, and don’t pick fights over anything.
And that’s the truth!
Date: July 25
Dear Diary,
I’ve decided I love to eat delicious meals with people I care about.
When I’m with other people, I don’t pig out like I do when I eat a giant Hershey bar alone in my bedroom. I sit up straight, mind my manners, and put my napkin in my lap. I pretend I’m a fancy lady in a large dining hall, like the ones I see in movies.
When I’m with my three great aunts, the stories they tell are amazing! They are really old, so I get to hear all about what it was like when they were kids: they lived in a big old Victorian house with three floors and a giant playroom that took up the whole third floor. It was filled with toys, books, and an old reed organ. They also told me how the trolley went right by their house and in the summer there was a different trolley that came by with straw seats and it was all open so you could get the breeze. No air conditioning! And they had only one phone in a closet under the stairway in the front hall. (They didn’t even have computers back then! I was in shock!) The telephone didn’t have a dial on it. When you had to make a call, you picked the receiver up and told the operator you wanted to make a call. Then the operator rang the person you wanted to talk to. But if you picked up the phone and heard someone else talking to a friend, you just had to hang up and check back later. There were only party lines in those days. That meant that up to four families shared the same line even though you had your own phone number. Can you imagine having to live like that?
I love hearing about the old days. I told Angela all about their stories and when I went over her house to sleep, we Googled images of all the things my great aunts talked about because our computer at my house is still broken. I wonder if my parents will ever fix it! We saw pictures of old telephones and old trolleys and old reed organs and even found big old Victorian houses just like the one they grew up in.
My great aunts always take me to the Sunshine Café for lunch. We order sandwiches, like egg salad, tuna, or cream cheese and olives, without the crusts. Then we get coffee Jell-O with whipped cream for dessert. Everything is so delicious. I eat while they chat about all sorts of things, like who died, when they are going to visit different relatives, and the next bridge game. I don’t always listen; I just like to hear them talk. They always tell me how adorable I look and how pretty my haircut is and how smart I am.
The truth is being out with my great aunts is the very best way in the whole world to spend time during lunch.
Date: August 7
Dear Diary,
Our book trading club met at my house today. Thank goodness my brother was next door playing. He is such a pest. He probably would have ruined everything. I set the table in the dining room and my mom let me put Grandma’s plates out for the brownies. We have six plates and they all have painted flowers on them. My mom said they came from Austria and they are very expensive. All the girls were very careful when using them.
The brownies I made were delicious. I ate four of them. Here’s the recipe so I’ll never forget it:
RECIPE
* 2 squares of unsweetened chocolate.(Yuck! Don’t ever try to eat unsweetened chocolate plain. It is so bitter.)
* 1/2 cup Crisco
* 11/4 cups sugar
* 3 eggs
* 3/4 cup flour
* 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 cup chopped nuts (optional) (I put in much more because I love nuts and no one has allergies to
them)
First, I had to melt the chocolate over hot water (with Mom’s help). Then, I mixed everything together and baked it for 1/2 hour at 350 degrees. I put coconut and colored sprinkles on top while the brownies cooled. (I made that part up.)
The book trading meeting was great. Everyone loved my brownies, too. We all traded books and talked about what we liked about them. Some of the girls talked about the latest vampire novels and others about teen romances they are reading. I told my friends about Nancy Drew. (None of them had even heard of these books but seem excited to read them now!)
My mom came into the dining room for a while and chatted with us, too. That made me feel so warm inside. And she told us about her favorite series growing up. She said that she started off reading the Bobbsey Twins. None of us had read that series (I didn’t even know what this was). She said they were cute sets of twins, a boy and girl in each set, and they also solved mysteries. Maybe not as big as what Nancy Drew solves, but they were still smart. Maybe I’ll try to find these books at the library. And when I'm at the library and can use the computer, I think I need to Google some other mystery books I might like. I’m sure there has got to be a lot out there that I don’t know about!
Date: August 10
Dear Diary,
Only three more weeks until we go back to school. I had a nightmare last night that I couldn’t find my new classroom. My heart was pounding in the dream and I was sweating a lot. I was running up and down the hallways. I knew I would be the last one to get to my new homeroom. No one comes in late on the first day! I was crying and then I was trying to move my legs in the dream, but I couldn’t.
When I woke up, I was really sweating and my heart was beating fast. I went in to my mom and dad’s room and lay down on the floor with a blanket from my bed. They didn’t even know I was there. I just couldn’t be alone after that dream. I hate dreams like that and that’s the truth.
This morning, I told my parents about my bad dream. Mom said I had an anxiety dream and a lot of people do before they have to do something new. I’m glad she told me that. I hope I don’t have any more anxiety dreams, though. They are no fun!
Mom told me a lot of other stuff today. I guess it’s because I’m getting older and she finally felt that I needed to know some things. And guess what. My mom really knows a lot, actually. She told me more about getting my period (our teacher told us a little bit about this last year in health class, but she filled in a lot of details). She told me I might get it any day. She said sometimes girls have lots of extra emotions as their bodies change. She said I might get in a bad mood more easily or cry at silly stuff but not to worry. She said there is plenty of stuff in the bathroom for me to use if I get my period when she isn’t home.
I think that my mom should have been a doctor or a teacher. She never went to college but wants me to go.
She told me that she had a choice of being a secretary or working in my Uncle Dan’s clothing store when she finished high school. She chose to become a secretary because my grandfather said he would pay for her to go to secretarial school.
I asked her if she had wanted to go to college. She said that she never thought about it because none of the girls in her family had ever gone to college. But now she wishes she had. She also told me that once my Uncle Tom said to her, “Edith, you are dumb but beautiful. Don’t worry. That’s okay. It is better than being dumb and not pretty.”
Mom told me that she promised herself when I was born that I would get more education than she had. She told me that she has been putting ten dollars a week away since I was born for my college education. I was surprised and happy to hear this. It made me feel special to know that she was doing something just for me.
I hope I can make her proud of me when I get older. I know that I’m smart. I think I’m pretty. I also think what my uncle said to my mom was stupid. And I hope my mom knows how much I love her and think she’s beautiful and smart.
Date: September 4
Dear Diary,
Tomorrow I go back to school. I’m excited and a little nervous as well. And for the first time in weeks, I thought about Paul. I know he’s back home because I walked by his house and saw his bike in the driveway. I can’t wait to see him. I wonder if he grew over the summer. I hope so. I think I still love him, but it’s a little confusing since I haven’t thought about him for a while now.
I try to remember his eyes and how they make me feel all funny inside, but it’s a little tough. I guess I’ll find out if I still love him tomorrow at school when I see him. Maybe I won’t feel the same. I’m not so sure if I really love him anymore.
Date: September 5
Dear Diary,
The first day of school was pretty good. Our homeroom teacher is nice. Her name is Mrs. Gamble.
You won’t believe this though: Paul is even shorter than I remembered! I guess I grew more over the summer than I realized. I didn’t get the same kind of butterflies in my stomach when he walked into the room, either. I wonder what that means. I’m sitting in the same row he is, so it’s harder to look at him all the time, because I have to turn my head. So maybe that’s why? I’ll have to keep investigating this, but for today, I just let it go.
And even better news is Angela told me she and her family have finally decided not to move after all. So I’m excited she is still here and also in my homeroom class!
And I’ve decided that I’m going to run for Student Council. The election will be in October. I’ll have to make posters and give a little speech before the election. That’s easy, though, as I like arty things and I also like speaking in front of people. I hope I win.
Date: September 11
Dear Diary,
Lately I get in bad moods a lot. Just like Mom told me I might! I’ll probably get my period soon, too. I hope not. I hope it waits as long as possible.
The more I think about it, the more I don’t really want to grow up yet. There are a lot of things I like about being my age. I can do a lot of things that grown-ups do, but I don’t have their responsibilities or problems. I don’t have to make money, and I don’t have to involve myself in family troubles like my parents have to. They are always either fighting with each other or worried about the health of their parents or discussing money, and I don’t have to do things like that—not yet. And I’m glad. That seems really tough.
I worry about my parents because they don’t know the truth about so many things and they still fight over stupid stuff. They don’t know how to have fun and how to stop arguing over things that never change. I don’t think they really appreciate each other. No one is perfect. When will they ever grow up?
Date: September 18
Dear Diary,
Today is a day I will never forget. When I came out of the shower, I lifted my arm in front of the mirror as I was drying myself and I saw that I had three dark hairs growing from my right armpit! I can’t believe it. It’s beginning, just like Mom said. I’m not sure how I feel.
Good news: Nothing in the other armpit yet.
I don’t want my body to change too fast. I’m used to myself, just the way I am. I like my legs and my hair and my eyes and I like still looking like a kid. An older kid, but a kid. I’m not ready to look like a teenager. I don’t want to have to wear a bra after all. I don’t want to get my period. I don’t like the feeling of lipstick on my lips. I tried Angela’s lipstick on at her house yesterday after school and it felt awful on my lips, like they were caked with food or something. I had to rush into the bathroom, get a Kleenex, and wipe it off. And I’ve decided I don’t want to put makeup on my face—not yet. I also hate the smell of fresh nail polish. I wonder how much time I have left until I’ll have to start doing all of these things, anyway. I can’t believe I ever wished I could!
Date: September 19
Dear Diary,
Here’s a little secret: when I wake up in the morning, I look at my wallpaper and try to see pictures in it that I have never seen before. There are flowers and bir
ds, but sometimes I can see other things, like animals or faces. Doing that puts me in a good mood.
Then, before I get out of bed, I think of something good that will happen that day. I might get to watch my favorite TV show or play games on the computer (which finally got fixed over the summer—hurray!) or get to eat the chocolate cake left over from yesterday in the kitchen. As long as there is something that I know will make today a good day, I’m happy and that helps me enjoy the day that much more.
Even when I’m sick, I try to think of good things. I’ll think about starting a new book or going shopping downtown with my friends. Even the day I threw up all day, I cheered myself up by lying on my parents’ bed and reading a mystery book. I put pillows all around me and brought in my favorite doll. I felt sick, but I also felt nice and cozy.
There’s always a way to make things better!
Date: October 5
Dear Diary,
There’s a special song that sometimes floats into my head that is so uplifting; it gives me a funny feeling somewhere in my heart and stomach, like a magic tickle. I love it, but I don’t know what it is and no one can identify it. It’s as if I recognize it from a long time ago. Every once in a while, it comes back to me. It just enters my brain and I get that good feeling. I’m beginning to think I know that song from maybe before I was born.
I’ve tried to sing it aloud to lots of people, but no one recognizes it. I hope I can remember this song as I get older. The last time it came to me, my mom and I were walking downtown. She was taking me to get a new dress. I sang it for her, but she still didn’t know it.
The Truth Page 5
