I know what drugs are—a police officer came to school once to tell us about them and that we should never use them. But I never knew anyone who took any.
I’ve been thinking about Eddie all day. When we go to visit my aunt and uncle once a year, I always play cards with him. He is seven years older than I am, but I still liked playing with him and he never teased me. He was always so nice to me.
It is sad and scary what happened to him. I’m not sure I want to see him again this year when we go to their house. And that’s the truth.
Date: March 30
Dear Diary,
Today was my birthday! I can’t believe I am thirteen.
It sounds so old. I forgot to tell you that Aunt Belinda sent me another birthday package last week. I hid it in my underwear drawer, just like last year. After we came back from dinner at the steak house in town (that was part of my present from my parents), I opened all my presents. Aunt Belinda sent me a birthstone ring. It is so beautiful—the stone is sea-green and the setting is real gold. Inside the band she inscribed: "Love you!" and I could see 10k also etched in there. The ring must have cost so much. I love her, too. Mom and Dad gave me a gift card for clothes and also a note promising me a plane trip all by myself to visit Aunt Belinda. I guess they realize I really am growing up. But what about the puppy? I still need a dog to love.
Grandma gave me money and a beautiful pink fluffy bathrobe and slippers to match. My brother gave me a list of promises inside a birthday card he made. He promises to 1) rub my back anytime I want, 2) clean up my room for me twice during the year, 3) help take care of my dog (maybe he knows something I don’t?), and 4) not bother me when I’m doing homework.
I forgot to tell you, too, that Angela came with us to dinner and back to the house after for cake and presents. She laughed so much as my brother read his promises aloud. He was so sincere. I gave him a big hug and kiss. Angela gave me an ankle bracelet. It is beautiful with a tiny gold heart on it. I’m so lucky to have such a good friend.
Date: April 3
Dear Diary,
Paul behaves like I’m not even there. Do you think I stare at him too much? Oh, Paul, look at me, love me. I am sitting right near you totally in love! And tonight when I lie in bed I’ll be imagining us getting older and being boyfriend and girlfriend for real.
I still wear my locket all the time. I never did put Paul’s picture in it, though.
I’m miserable.
Date: April 23
Dear Diary,
I don’t think I am going to be able to be a dancer when I grow up. The girls that are really good in ballet/tap/jazz and acrobatics can do all sorts of things I can’t do, even though I try. Gloria is still better than almost everyone in our class. She can spin four or five times around on one turn and she doesn’t ever fall. I can only go around once. And most of the girls can do full splits. I can’t. I think there is something wrong with my body. It just doesn’t want to do what I want it to do.
Last night was my dance recital. I think this might be my last. I felt really fat in my costume, and I made a couple of mistakes on the stage. I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but I did.
The recital was in our school auditorium. First, I thought I looked good in my lobster costume for the Bottom of the Sea Ballet, but then I thought I looked stupid when I saw myself from the side. I looked fat.
My parents said the dance routine was very hard and they were impressed with how I did. My mom said that no one saw me trip. I asked my brother if he saw me make any mistakes and he said he didn’t. But I just realized that he probably wasn’t even watching the stage, and I’m sure my mom told me no one saw my mistake just to make me feel better. Oh, this is terrible. I’m fat and I think my dream to be a ballet dancer has been crushed . . . and that’s the truth.
Date: May 12
Dear Diary,
We had Career Day at school today. It was a lot of fun! Our class has been preparing for it for few weeks now. We had to pick three careers that we wanted to find out more about from a long list our teacher gave us. Then on career day all these grown-ups come to school and we had meetings with them.
I picked these three careers to learn more about:
1. Detective
2. Dancer
3. Writer
It was fun getting ready for Career Day, too. I got to read all about famous detectives like Sherlock Holmes and Dick Tracey. I also read about some of the famous ballerinas, like Pavlova, and other famous dancers like Isadora Duncan, who started Modern Dance. And I read about famous writers like Leo Tolstoy and William Shakespeare.
Oh, I forgot to tell you that we dressed up like we were already in one of our professions for Career Day, too. I dressed up like a detective, since that was my number one career choice. I wore a nice suit and carried a purse with a magnifying glass in it and a pair of handcuffs and a notepad to take notes.
I enjoyed all three speakers, but they made me worry. It is hard to be a detective. You have to work for years before you get the license.
It is hard to be a dancer, too. You have to practice hours a day for years. And I’m probably too fat already to be a dancer.
It is hard to be a writer—you have to write every day.
I hope I can pick the right profession and I hope I can work hard enough when the time comes. But what if I can’t? What will happen to me?
I do enjoy writing to you about my day and my feelings and what’s going on in my life. So maybe I will become a writer when I grow up. I guess that could be kind of cool.
Date: May 28
Dear Diary,
Angela, Dorothy, and all of the other girls threw me a special party today at Betty’s at our last club meeting, since I’ll be moving next month. They all brought me gifts, which was really nice.
Dorothy brought me a beautiful diary to write in. Maybe I’ll use it when we move or when I've written on every page of this diary. Angela gave me a gift certificate to the bookstore in my new town. Her mom must have driven her there to get it. I think that was especially sweet. Dawn gave me a bracelet with a heart that is engraved with my name. I can wear it when I wear my locket.
Betty’s mom made us dinner. We had macaroni and tuna casserole, peas, and homemade apple pie. Then we had peanut butter cups, four each. I love the way peanut butter cups feel in my mouth. Betty’s mom is the best. I’ll never forget today. Before we all left, Betty’s mom also took a group picture and said she’d email it to my mom so we can print and frame it.
I wonder if I’ll really see all the girls again after I move. I hope so. It’s going to be hard leaving all my friends behind. And I wonder if I’ll be able to start another club in my new town, with my new friends.
Date: June 7
Dear Diary,
I was watching a show on TV that was about a mom who stays home with her kids all day and what that is like. I’ve decided that I don’t want to stay home during the day when I grow up. I want to have a career. I’m not going to let anybody trap me inside a house with nothing to do but chores and laundry.
To get a career, I’ll have to get the right kind of education. If I’m going to be an actress then I’ll get training at an acting school. If I’m going to be something else, I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure I meet my goals. I just know that I don’t want to be stuck at home with my kids forever.
I’m going to be somebody out in the world. And that’s the truth.
Date: June 12
Dear Diary,
My mom just told me that she is expecting a baby in five months.
I can’t believe it!
I am not happy at all!
As much as my little brother bugs me, we have sort of worked out a system and can at least get along most of the time. But we certainly don’t need to share our house or things with anyone else or to take care of a baby! And we are moving, too. I’ll have so much on my mind: a new school, a new house, and new friends. I thought I would have enough to worry about having to take care
of a new dog (hopefully). Now, I’ll have to listen to a baby crying at night, change dirty diapers, and all of that!
This is just not fair!
Date: June 21
Dear Diary,
Next week we’re moving.
I’ve been packing like crazy. My parents don’t know how to pack, but I do, so I’ve kind of been in charge. Mom said she didn’t know what they’d do without me and my good packing skills. And it’s true: I’m good at figuring out how to get lots of things into one box. Most of our things are in boxes now. I’m kind of excited, and I’m also kind of scared.
I went on a bike ride around the neighborhood today. I looked at the big tree that I always climb in the neighbor’s yard, and I said goodbye to it. I rode to the drugstore and had maybe my last coffee ice cream cone. I rode down the hill really, really fast one last time. I even went to the other end of the street where I usually don’t go, just so I can remember all the houses for the entire four blocks that are our street.
The best thing about moving, though, is our new house. You should see it! It’s bigger than the one we live in now and it’s all one floor with three bathrooms! I never thought we’d live in a house with three bathrooms! It has a back porch and a big yard. The last family who lived there left a swing set so my brother and I can swing there instead of at a park. It’s in a very pretty neighborhood. I’ll be turning fourteen in my new house with my new friends and everything. That’s a long time away, I just hope I have new friends by that time . . . .
Date: June 22
Dear Diary,
I can’t believe I forgot to tell you that we had our school dance at the end of the year and Paul asked me to dance—twice! He didn’t ask anyone else to dance more than once, so I was very happy.
It was funny dancing with him, though, since he’s so much shorter than I am. I couldn’t even look into his eyes. I just looked over his head, across the gym to the wall. But I still felt a little tingling in my body being that close to him. I don’t think I’ll put his picture in my locket now, though, especially since I’ll be moving and will probably never see him again.
I’m not sure what I’ll put in there.
Date: June 23
Dear Diary,
I’m not as scared of getting older now for some reason. I don’t know why exactly. I wasn’t even upset when I lifted my arms in front of the mirror recently and saw too many hairs to bother to count them—in both armpits now, too. I guess I’ll need to find a YouTube video that will teach me how to shave my armpits. Or maybe I could ask my mom.
I feel a little rush of excitement when I think about moving and making new friends and growing up. It’s different than the feeling I felt when I thought I was in love with Paul. This time, it’s just an overall good feeling.
I’ve decided that when we move I’m not going to set up all my dolls on the dresser. I’m going to put some of them away carefully in boxes along with their clothes. I’m also not going to take all of my comic books to the new house. I’ve begun to sort through them. I’m giving away the ones for kids and only keeping the ones I’ve really enjoyed reading over and over again.
Well, maybe I’ll keep one of my favorites that’s for kids. Just to remember.
Date: June 26
Dear Diary,
I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep tonight.
The movers are coming at 8:00 tomorrow morning!
Since I am having trouble falling asleep, I’ve made a list of what I wish and hope for:
I hope our move is safe and good and we’ll all be happy in our new house.
I hope my parents will fight less.
I hope I remember forever the truth, even when I grow up.
I hope when I have children, our house is filled with laughter and fun.
When my kids ask me questions, I hope I tell them the truth.
I hope I remember to never forget the tiny things, like licking the salt off my skin after I sweat.
I hope I remember how to dress and how to keep my face looking soft.
I hope I can become a teenager without being too afraid.
I hope I will not feel too bad about leaving behind what I have to leave behind.
Date: June 27
Dear Diary,
The movers are coming in twenty minutes! I am so excited I can hardly sit still, let alone think straight!
I finally decided what I want to put into my locket. I’m putting a tiny slip of paper that has on it the things I don’t want to forget about myself. I might have to write in code because it is so small. But I’ll know how to break the code. That’s because I’m smart—just like a detective.
I decided my secret reminder is more important than a picture of Paul. I’ll never forget him, of course, but the secret I’m putting inside the locket is for me, forever. I’ll wear my locket next to my heart, so I’ll always remember what’s important to me. The words will face my face when the locket is closed, so I’ll always remember the truth.
Date:
Dear Diary,
Things I promise to do when I grow up:
* I’ll travel a lot.
* I won’t look away when my kids ask me tough questions.
* I’ll answer questions truthfully.
* I won’t swear.
* I won’t get into silly fights with other people.
* I’ll have fun with my kids and laugh a lot.
* I’ll remember ME!
And that’s the truth!
Questions for Kids
1. What do you think happens right after the book ends?
2. What do you think about the girl in The Truth?
3. What did you like about her?
4. What didn’t you like?
5. Have you ever felt like her?
6. Did she teach you anything?
7. Do you know anyone like the girl in the book? If so, what is she like?
8. Would you like to have a friend like the girl in the book?
9. What would you like to tell the girl if she were real?
10. What do you think the girl would say to you?
11. Are there any secrets you would tell the girl?
12. Do you think the girl had other secrets that she didn’t put in her diary?
13. How is she different from you?
14. How is she the same as you?
15. What was your favorite entry from her diary?
16. What was the funniest part of The Truth?
17. Are there important things the girl didn’t talk about that you thought she should have?
18. What made you angry in the book? Sad? Happy?
19. What do you want to remember most when you grow up?
20. What do you wish your parents better understood about you?
21. Would you like your mom and/or dad to read this book?
22. Is there a part of The Truth that you would like to talk to your mom or dad about?
23. If you could give the girl a name, what would you name her?
24. Would you like to write to the girl? If you would like to write to her, here is the address to use: [email protected]
About the Author
Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, nationally known positive psychologist, is the creator of The Enchanted Self,® a systematic way of helping bring more joy, meaning, and purpose into our lives.
Dr. Holstein has been a school psychologist for more than twenty-five years. She also taught first and second grades. She is in private practice as a psychologist, with her husband, Dr. Russell M. Holstein, in Long Branch, New Jersey.
You can find Dr. Holstein on the web at www.enchantedself.com, at The Truth blog at www.thetruthforgirls.com, on Facebook at www.facebook.com/thetruthforgirls, and you can write to her at [email protected].
The Truth Page 7
